On the Formation of a Pseudo Stand-In

When Ye Luo opened his eyes, he was silent for a long time facing the dark bed board.

A bug landed on the top with a flutter, squeezed its body in a gap and trembled, stayed for a few seconds and then flew away.

The air has been filled with an indescribable smell for many years, like old rotten wood, or the strange smell that children smell when they lie under the bed that has not been cleaned for a year in search of glass balls.

The problem is, it's always cleaned.

Children will be educated from an early age, not to cause trouble for others, and must take the initiative to take care of their own affairs.

Be well-behaved, be hardworking, and show off your intelligence without being too ostentatious. If you don't do this, you won't be likable.

Unlikable, and fatal to almost every kid here.

Who hasn't dreamed of a neat and warm home, with its own warmth, and a small room that can be arranged at will?

But Ye Luo didn't care much, and even resisted.

He feels that although it is not good now, compared to the past, it is not a paradise, at least it is considered a world.

If you really take another gamble and be led to another place by the palm of a stranger, who knows if you will fall back into hell again?

He has seen many children before, they are not willing to let go of a glimmer of hope, but they also have admirable courage.

Ye Luo didn't mind if they played tricks, dragged out the report card from their schoolbag and tore it up secretly, or made a mess of their neatly made bed.

There was a time when I was always dragged by my aunt for a training session before I even entered the door after school.

I found out later that during that time, a wealthy family came to the door several times, saying that they hoped to find a smart and good boy.

Ye Luo didn't think he was smart, but there were some children here who could say a complete sentence in a lifetime, which was an earth-shattering improvement.

I was just lucky enough to secretly go to the school closest to my home to eavesdrop on some during a certain period of time.

That was probably the only time he struggled after rolling in the quagmire for so many years, and it seemed that someone else grabbed him.

It's just that it's been too long, and he no longer remembers who it was, and even the specific plot of that memory has been blocked, leaving only a vague shadow.

Recalling that whole period of time is bitter, so bitter that the ray of light seems smaller and insignificant.

Ye Luo didn't dare to think anymore.

He struggled to move, only to realize that his body seemed to be disassembled and reassembled forcibly. The discomfort and pain were extremely obvious, and the thick wet feeling on the implantation bed made him a little out of breath.

It's like being banished to a place where you don't belong.

But in fact, this is his perennial residence and the only destination. Ye Luo moved his body, feeling sticky all over his body, and felt unwell.

Everything around is mottled. If someone talks loudly, the roof will fall off the wall. There is no need to shake the mountain, and the room will spontaneously tear itself apart.

Holding her breath, Ye Luo gritted her teeth and closed her eyes tightly, clasping her fingertips tightly in her palms, her whole body was as stiff as the bed board beneath her.

He didn't dare to think about what he wanted specifically, and he didn't know who to pray to, as if no one could help him, so when he opened his eyes, the world was still the same.

Before dawn, the sound in the room was not loud but clear, with occasional grinding of teeth, and rhythmic snoring. Ye Luo stretched out his hands from the quilt to cover his ears, feeling that his nerves were so tense that he was about to break.

In the silence, he took several deep breaths, which calmed down his rumbling brain.

He covered his ears, his eyes wandered around the bed board without focus, and he turned his head until he found out every familiar crack and counted it again.

The originally inconspicuous light outside the window became more and more difficult to ignore. Ye Luo squinted his eyes and found that the outline of the dirty screen window was blurred.

Dirty, tired, sleepy.

He wanted to sleep for a few more minutes, but when he closed his eyes and lay down flat, he found that the bed was getting narrower and narrower, so narrow that he had to stand upright like a pole, and barely managed to keep from falling off.

The bare/naked left arm was helplessly pressed against the wall, thinking of the handwriting on it that was covered by the black palm prints so hard to distinguish, Ye Luo felt goosebumps popping up, and the musty smell that went straight into his nose , this feeling became more and more indescribable.

Being hypocritical, Ye Luo scolded herself severely in her heart, but in the end she couldn't take it anymore, and put her thin arms over her eyes.

When the line of sight is closed, the thoughts like to wander around, and get into the soft and wide bed uncontrollably, leaving only the oncoming light in the whole world.

He misses it, misses it a lot.

He has always been comfortable with the situation, if not for this, he would not be able to stumble and struggle to this day.

What do you really miss?But he didn't dare to think about it anymore.

Suppressing the sourness rushing to his throat and the screaming name all over his body, Ye Luo pulled the quilt higher to cover the dazzling light falling on his eyes as the sky gradually brightened.

When the wake-up bell rang, Ye Luo let out a long breath, and the noise just now stopped abruptly with the urging of the bell.

Someone was grumbling dissatisfiedly, and someone was getting up and getting dressed. Ye Luo didn't care about them, and sat up straight.

As a result, as soon as he stabilized his body, he couldn't help "hissing", it was sour, so sour.

It was even more sore than holding your neck stiff and looking up for a long time, and I don't know if it was because I was alone and couldn't rub my backhand.

After a while, he put on the neatly folded clothes next to him, lowered his head, and raised his fingers to smooth out the folds.

The touch of the rough fabric and the cocoon was a bit weird, he turned his hands over and looked at it carefully, thinking that if he held it with these hands, everything would be exposed.

Before the numb nerves had time to recognize the sadness, the sound of the soles rubbing against the concrete floor brought him back to reality. Ye Luo slightly raised his head and glanced, and found that the thin boy was holding a book in his arms, looking at him hesitantly.

Ye Luo thought for a long time, but he couldn't remember what his name was. Just after he realized that the scene was a bit embarrassing, he saw that the young man seemed to be thrown into a pot, his face turned red at a speed visible to the naked eye, and he hurriedly yelled: " Get up, you're going to be late!"

As soon as he finished speaking, he fled away, leaving only the creaking door and Ye Luo, who opened his mouth and had no time to respond.

Interrupted by this little episode, Ye Luo no longer lay paralyzed on the bed with a cold and sad autumn. He sped up his movements for a few minutes and finished packing, then grabbed his schoolbag and rushed out the door.

Until he rushed into the yard and was bumped several times by children running around, he didn't remember the other person's name, so he gave up his attachment and shook his head.

A few children were rubbing their eyes, and they were walking out of the house unsteadily. When they came to this place that seemed to have an invisible barrier, the children in the center of the yard were fighting together, while the rest of them were sitting on the steps with wooden faces, wringing their hands. Keep your fingers and eyes empty.

Ye Luo glanced at it, feeling a tightness in his chest, so he didn't dare to look any more.

Walking all the way to the door of the classroom, the preparatory bell just rang. Ye Luo breathed a sigh of relief, feeling that the suffocation stuck in his throat had finally passed, and his pace slowed down.

When they walked in through the back door with a slight bow, some boys still gathered in twos and threes and scattered in the open space at the back of the classroom. It seemed that they started to walk towards the seats sparsely only after hearing the bell.

Ye Luo walked past with his head down, not paying any attention to him.

But even so, he straightened his back even more, grabbed the strap of his schoolbag, walked to the farthest corner in two or three steps, and gently pulled the chair away.

It wasn't until I stuffed my schoolbag into the drawer that I finally let out a long sigh.

This was the only one in the whole classroom. He stubbornly asked for it under the scorching eyes of the teacher in charge. The other party knew about his situation and didn't try to dissuade him.

After so many years, Ye Luo has never learned how to have a good conversation with strangers, and he is not willing to get acquainted with someone step by step, and then peel off those things that are tightly covered. .

Those wounds are so ugly, even the only person who has accepted approaching so far, he wears a mask every time he sees it, let alone teenagers of this age.

They may be sympathetic, eager to help, clumsy to enlighten, and say that everything will be better, but in fact, who knows whether it will be better or not, except themselves?

Just as he was turning around, the lead reading sounded on the podium, and Ye Luo came back to his senses, and glanced at the appearance of bowing his body and glancing at the classroom door from time to time when he was gnawing on the bread on the table in front of him.

Ye Luo pressed his stomach, sighed, withdrew his attention, took a book from the table and began to read in a low voice.

Sure enough, he came back.

He was chanting, but his brain was in a mess, and his head hurt a little. He couldn't help but raised his hand and rubbed his temples.

It was too difficult to convince myself not to be too greedy.

Ye Luo didn't know what he was thinking of. In short, the sour feeling like soaking in lemonade was real.

Those inexplicable emotions clashed in his bosom, Ye Luo raised his reading voice, moved his fingers subconsciously, and curled the pages of the book a little.

He felt like a vile liar, a vile thief, a wriggling worm in a quagmire who didn't deserve more.

Thinking like this, Ye Luo buried his head very low, his face almost fell on the book, first he bit his lips tightly, and then he seemed to think of something, and let go all of a sudden.

I am sorry.

He didn't know why he had to apologize, all he knew was that he was trembling all over.

After finally calming down, he saw the obvious pause from the back of the front table in his peripheral vision, and hesitantly, he glanced at himself.

Ye Luo suppressed the uncontrollable trembling, and then realized that he couldn't hold back just now, as if he had said those three words.

Pretending to be okay, Ye Luo faced the gaze, buried his head lower and lower, then picked a passage of text at random, and continued to read in a low voice.

The author has something to say:

Thank you little angels who clicked in qwq

This article is still very sweet in general. This chapter is just a transition (for fingers