I have a Secret

Qi Fang showed a strange expression, "Who told you?"

Huang Dan said, "I haven't told me, I guess, it has something to do with the drawing board?"

"The people your brother saved back then were Xia Wei, Lin Mao, and Shen Liang. Zhou Jiaojiao just stood by and had nothing to do with that girl."

Qi Fang looked at the street market outside the window, he smiled and said, "You will never know how terrible it is for a person to be selfish."

After a pause for a few moments, the voice of Qi Fang sounded again, "Do you still remember that I was a model for you once?"

Huang Dan said he remembered.

"That night I realized that the girls in No. [-] Middle School like Shen Liang. With Shen Liang's selfish nature, she will definitely hurt her. I think she is the same age as my brother when the accident happened, and the paintings are very similar to mine. I did a ridiculous thing when I painted it.”

Qi Fang said, "I called the girl from the public phone and told her about the reservoir. I wanted her to see Shen Liang's character clearly and stay away from him. Guess what the other party said?"

"She said, it was the boy who jumped into the water by himself, and no one forced him, and he said something about Shen Liang. The tone of black and white was no different from that of Shen Liang Xia Wei Lin Mao back then. I hung up the phone on the spot. Retching."

Huang Dan took a breath.

He learned from Zhou Jiaojiao that there was no one around the reservoir.

If it wasn't for Qi Fang's elder brother, Shen Liang and the three of them would have died at that time. In fact, they could have continued to live, as did Qi Fang's elder brother, just because of a mistake.

With Qi Fang's family background, his elder brother doesn't have a mobile phone and can't call someone. The only way to save someone is to go down by himself. I'm afraid the other party didn't hesitate at that time.

Because people have the instinct of self-preservation, once they hesitate, they will be timid, and all those things that have not been considered will be in front of them, and the final choice will be different.

Qi Fang clicked his tongue, and he shook his head, "Look, it's not a family, don't enter a family, no, that girl hasn't entered Shen Liang's house yet, she is the stupidest person I have ever seen, not at all Be pitied."

Huang Dan listened, and didn't take another sip of coffee, because what he heard later made him sick to his stomach.

Qi Fang said that the girl was not only stupid, but also smart. She suspected that Xia Wei and Lin Mao's death was the work of a ghost, and she went to great lengths to find an expert to do it just for Shen Liang. People must let the ghosts fly away, and they will never be reborn forever.

Of course it didn't work out.

The girl used the second method, she went to find Shen Liang, she could find someone to take the place of the dead ghost.

Shen Liang asked who to look for, the girl said whatever, anyone in the studio is fine.

She never thought that Shen Liang was looking for her.

Because at that time, Shen Liang came back from missing for a few days, and found the same method, and had already locked his target on that girl.

When the girl told him about it, he didn't change his mind.

Huang Dan fell into silence after listening.

Qi Fang took a sip of coffee and didn't mind if it was cold, "I've thought about it for a few years, but I haven't figured out how a person can be so selfish. I can only say that the human heart is the darkest thing in the world. Of course, you can also The simplest and most sincere."

Huang Dan also went to drink cold coffee, feeling uncomfortable in his stomach, "Is there really no way?"

Qi Fang said, "No, don't be too whimsical. If I were you, I would spend the remaining time with him while he is still there."

Huang Dan has been sitting there, his purpose of coming has not been achieved, and it is not even clear when Qi Fang will leave.

It was already late when Huang Dan returned, and he saw a familiar figure, unbuttoned, anxiously looking for something, and when he found him, he ran over immediately.

Chen Shi was panting, and the hand that grabbed the young man was shaking with great force, "Damn it, where did you go?"

Huang Dan endured the pain, "Go for a walk."

Chen Shi stared at him, and said abruptly, "Zhang Shuran, do I know everything?"

Huang Dan didn't deny it either, "Yes."

Chen Shi's breathing was chaotic, he was still staring at the person in front of him, gasping for breath, but unable to speak.

When they got home, Huang Dan poured Chen Shi a glass of water, "You shouldn't have given me the jade."

Chen Shi laughed out loud when he heard the words, "Stupid you, no jade, can you accompany me through four years of college?"

Huang Dan wanted to say that he was different from the dead, his soul was complete, not death, but rebirth, but he couldn't say.

Chen Shi kissed the lifeline in the palm of the young man's hand, "Besides, if I don't give you the jade, I won't live long. I'm 30 years old, and I can only live until I'm 30 years old."

Huang Dan frowned, "Why?"

Chen Shi sat beside him, "Didn't I tell you that I was sick more than ten years ago, and when I woke up, I saw grandpa sitting on my bedside? Grandpa told me then, he said my fate It was snatched from under the eyes of God, and when God finds out, he will take my life back."

Huang Dan's tone was firm, "You know you're leaving, so you're working hard to make money?"

Chen Shi raised his eyebrows, "You discovered all of this."

He scratched at the young man's finger, "I'm always thinking, what will you do when I'm gone? Can you take care of yourself? I think too much. I'm afraid that if you forget to turn off the liquefied gas when cooking, you will be in danger. I'm also afraid that if you are drying the quilt on the balcony and leaning out unconsciously, without me pulling you back, if you have any accident..."

Huang Dan pursed his lips and didn't speak.

Chen Shi held the young man's cheeks, kissed him once and for all, and laughed in a hoarse voice, "Zhang Shuran, what would you do without me?"

Huang Dan hugged him.

Neither of them said a word again.

Life is still like this, Huang Dan and Chen Shi go to work during the day, come back at night to cook together, make love, say good night, day after day.

When they are not working, they are like ordinary couples, either going out to watch movies, shopping in the supermarket, or staying at home, whatever they get tired of.

After graduation, Huang Dan and Chen Shi didn't join a company, so they could have lunch together in a science and technology park, and come out to meet each other if they wanted to, which was very convenient.

Both of them are hot spots in the company, and colleagues would push single dogs to them, but unfortunately both parties ended in failure.

Year by year, Huang Dan counted in his heart, and it was the tenth year of their acquaintance, and there were ten wishing bottles at home.

Some things don't happen if you don't worry about them.

Huang Dan got up to drink water on a very ordinary night. He touched the light on the bedside table and turned on it. When he found that the man beside him didn't respond, his eyelids twitched.

In normal times, before the light was turned on, the man's hand on Huang Dan's waist tightened.

Huang Dan turned his head and put his ear to the man's chest. His whole body was stiff, and he just lay there until dawn.

Chen Shi's breathing stopped, as did his heartbeat, and he never recovered this time.

After dawn, Huang Dan left the man's chest. He went to brush his teeth and wash his face, but suddenly he squatted down and grabbed his heart, unable to breathe due to the pain.

In the morning, Huang Dan first called Chen Shi's parents, and then called the company to ask for leave. After finishing these two things, he went to the closet to get clothes for Chen Shi to put on, "I thought I could finish this year."

This was the first sentence Huang Dan said to Chen Shi after his accident. His voice was hoarse and his eyes were red, "The Chinese New Year will be in a few months. I won't go home this year. I will stay here. You accompany me." .”

Chen Shi was cremated, he said it himself.

Huang Dan kept crying at his funeral, and the tears never stopped.

Not to mention the original owner's parents, even Chen Shi's parents couldn't bear to watch, "Shu Ran, he's gone, don't be too sad."

It is probably very rare for a white-haired person to send a black-haired person to comfort others.

Huang Dan is not sad, but distressed.

In the first year of work, Huang Dan went on a business trip with a few colleagues and didn't come back for three days. As soon as he entered the house, he saw Chen Shi with an unshaven beard and bloodshot eyes.

At that time, Chen Shi said in a voice that was about to cry, Zhang Shuran, I will follow you on business trips in the future, and you went to places I couldn't see, it was too fucking hard.

So Huang Dan had a small bottle around his neck, which contained Chen Shi, and he took him with him wherever he went.

The people around me are no longer there, and things have changed a lot.

When Huang Dan came back from get off work, there was no steaming food, no eager kisses, warm hugs, and no hot eyes.

But he talked too much.

As long as Huang Dan is at home, he can talk, cook and cook, wash clothes and mop the floor, tidy up the study, spread the quilt, and handle work. No matter what he is doing, he will talk to himself, although he has not responded or stopped.

Because Chen Shi is here, he can feel it.

Although Huang Dan couldn't see Chen Shi, it was good that he could see himself.

It was getting colder and colder, Huang Dan found the coat in the closet and put it on, he had a hunch that he would leave soon, not to the underworld, but to leave this world.

This is a huge change, after all, the previous few departures were without warning.

Huang Dan buttoned his coat one by one, and straightened his collar, "I'm off to work, are you waiting for me at home, or go with me?"

There will be no response, the yellow slip is clear.

Waking up one morning, Huang Dan opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling, tears streaming down his face unconsciously.

Chen Shi left.

From that day on, Huang Dan no longer spoke to the air, and no one listened to him. His life was still busy. Before he left, he went to work for an extra day, and he earned an extra day’s money, which was saved for the parents of the two families. .

A heavy snow fell silently in H City.

Huang Dan took advantage of the weekend to clean up the house. He was so tired and sweaty that he lay down under the blanket to sleep after taking a shower.

The air conditioner is not turned on, and the bed is cold. It will no longer be like before, when someone goes in early to warm the bed.

Huang Dan's body was cold, and when the heat from the hot bath subsided, the bed was still cold. After lying down for a while, he found that his fatigue had subsided, so he put on thick pajamas and went online.

It was a coincidence that Huang Dan wanted to look for old photos, but found a video by accident.

He sat at the table and watched the video, and the man in the video was also watching him.

Chen Shi was wearing the white shirt and jeans he had when he first saw the yellow sheet. He was just as handsome as before. He had a cigarette in his mouth and a smile in his eyes, but his face was full of unspeakable sadness and reluctance.

"Zhang Shuran, when you see this video, I must be gone."

Huang Dan watched the video without moving.

Chen Shi exhaled a puff of smoke, "What season is it now? Don't answer, let me guess, is it winter? Is it snowing? I guess it snowed heavily. You are sitting in the pajamas I bought for you last year. Go online in front of the computer, if you guess right, give me a kiss."

The people in the video came up and Huang Dan touched through the cold screen, he was very sad.

Chen Shi leaned against the back of the sofa chair, and the smoke quickly covered his face, "Idiot, the air conditioner needs to be turned on, without me, it's very cold in bed."

Huang Dan said, "The air conditioner is on, so it's uncomfortable."

"Yes, the air conditioner is no better than mine. You can just let it go. If you really want what I think, you can sleep with the big bear I bought for you. There are songs I recorded in it. Pull the bear You have it in your left ear, and it’s what you like to hear.”

Huang Dan was taken aback, he got up to get the bear beside the bed.

"Hahahahaha Zhang Shuran, you didn't just find out that bears can record songs, did you?"

Chen Shi smiled very unkindly, "If you say you are stupid, you still don't listen. I'm not here anymore. I'm really worried that you will be abducted."

Huang Dan hugged the bear, and in his ears was the man's soft singing, humming that you are my only one, he pursed his lips, "I'm pretty stupid."

"It's okay, no matter how stupid you are, you are still my baby, and I won't dislike you."

Chen Shi took several puffs of cigarettes in a row, and his voice sank, "Zhang Shuran, when I found out that I was going to leave, I felt very conflicted. I wanted to strangle you to death and take you away together, but I also wanted you to live well. If you meet the right person, just live together as a partner, I'm afraid you won't be able to bear it alone."

Huang Dan recalled that for half a month, something was wrong with Chen Shi, and he would kill him when he did it. The more he yelled for pain, the harder the opponent was, and the more tricky the angle was.

There were several times when Huang Dan woke up and found that his neck hurt a little. It seemed that Chen Shi really had the idea of ​​taking him away, very strongly, but gave up at the last moment.

"Sometimes I'm thinking, although I don't have the chance to be thirty, but I met you, I live happily every day, and I still make a lot of money, don't you think?"

Chen Shi flicked the cigarette ash on the ground, "I'll sweep it later, I'm lazy now, I just want to talk to you, and I want to talk more, you don't know, I have a lot of things I want to tell you."

Huang Dan listened, but the progress bar of the video was getting closer, but the person in the screen didn't open his mouth.

"Hey, there's so much I want to say, I don't know where to start."

Chen Shi's eyelids were half-closed, "Let's start from the first time I saw you. At that time, you were wearing a gray T-shirt with a doraemon pattern on your chest, and your pants were denim, like my pants. The color is similar, you came to say hello to me, said hello, and stretched out your hand to me, holding my hand, I pulled my hand away, and you just stood there blankly, I think you are cute..."

Huang Dan listened to the person in the video talk about that year, and his thoughts were synchronized with the other person. At that time, the messy studio, the wet alley, the heavy snow, and the briquettes piled up into a hill, all the people and things emerged in front of him.

"I'm a selfish person. I knew I was a short-lived ghost, but I still hooked you up. Zhang Shuran, do you hate me? Don't hate me, because I like you so much. very unhappy."

Just as Huang Dan was about to say "I don't hate you", he heard Chen Shi's triumphant laugh, "You won't hate me, you like me, you like me to death, every time you cry for pain, you still hold on to my back tightly Don't let it go, if I don't like it, I will write Chen Zi upside down."

"Actually, I don't have any expectations for the university. Without you, it doesn't matter if I can't get in."

Chen Shi said, "Without you, I would not work so hard to make money, work hard, live hard, and make myself stronger. Zhang Shuran, you met you at the age of 19 and left you at the age of 29. Thank you for ten years." .”

Huang Dan listened carefully, his eyes were wet, he raised his head and did not cry.

"The song "Ten Years" doesn't tell our story, but I still like it very much. If you have time, listen to it. Okay, I admit, I'm trying my best to let you remember I, Zhang Shuran, I don't want you to forget me."

Chen Shi's voice was choked with sobs, "I'm not only selfish, but also hypocritical. I can't bear other people possessing you. If I think about it, I'll die of pain. I'm also afraid that you'll forget me. If someone mentions it one day, you'll have to think about it for a long time. I still can't remember what I look like."

Huang Dan said, "I will never forget it, don't be afraid."

"Hey, you know why I'm afraid of you saying the word "death". If you die, you will have nothing. This is my destiny. You are different. That piece of jade is really ancestral. It will protect you. With it, you Will not be sick, will not be hurt, will be fine."

Chen Shi became serious, and the resolute lines on his face tightened, "Listen, no matter who wants to look at the jade in the future, don't let the other person touch it, and don't take it off, do you hear me? Zhang Shuran, I know you heard it, and you must write it down. heart!"

Huang Dan squeezed his little finger, "Chen Shi, do you want me to live a long life?"

After he finished speaking, the people in the video confirmed his conjecture.

"I hope you live a long life. Don't be afraid. When I'm gone, I'll still be with you. It's just that I've changed my identity. I won't leave you alone."

Chen Shi laughed in the video, "Zhang Shuran, I will not leave you alone, I will always be with you."

Huang Dan said, "Liar."

He pinched his temple vigorously, knowing that it wasn't Chen Shi's fault, Chen Shi wanted to be with him more than anyone else, it was fate.

"My wife, didn't I promise you that I would give you a birthday present every year? One day when I secretly folded the stars while you were not at home, the small tube fell from my hand. At that moment I knew that I had to Let's go, I haven't folded enough, fuck, do you know how long I've been howling in the bathroom?"

Chen Shi in the video had a dark face, "I'm angry now thinking about it. I plan to give you a hundred discounts. I'm running out of time. I owe the rest first, and I'll give you discounts in the next life."

Huang Dan asked unconsciously, "Where did you put it?"

"Do you want to ask me, where is the wishing bottle? Thinking of this makes me very irritable."

Chen Shi pulled his hair and leaned forward, "I originally wanted to learn from the movies, find a post office and put the wishing bottle there, and let them send it to you every year, but you also know that movies and reality are not the same thing, I After thinking about it, let’s leave it at home.”

"You are not allowed to take out all of them at once. You get one every year on your birthday. Although it is different from me giving you with my own hands, I also folded every star in it."

Huang Dan went to rummage through boxes and cabinets, and finally he found a big bag containing more than a dozen wishing bottles. He rubbed his forehead vigorously, and it was very difficult to fold a star by himself. There are so many three thousand three thousand four hundred and four, how long will that man have to fold?

Chen Shi's laughter came from the video, and his eyes were gentle, "Find the bag, you have always been smart, I know, if you work harder, maybe you will support me."

Huang Dan didn't take the wishing bottle in the bag, he wrote a small note in it, hoping whether it was the original owner's parents or Chen Shi's parents, they would not lose the wishing bottle.

Even after leaving this world, Huang Dan hoped that all these bottles would be put away properly, not a few of them.

"Zhang Shuran."

Huang Dan's thoughts suddenly came back, and he looked over.

In the video, Chen Shi yelled and stopped talking. He disappeared from the screen and came back again, his eyes were red, "You must not know, I am very greedy, I want to have the next life with you, the next life, life after life They are all together, and they will not be separated even in death."

Huang Dan said, "I know, I've always known."

Chen Shi covered his face with your hands, rubbed it hard, and his voice was hoarse than before, "Hello, Zhang Shuran."

He called out again, "I love you."

This is the end of the video, and it is also the last thought in Chen Shi's life. It is his obsession and everything he has.

Huang Dan was helpless, "You hide it so secretly, aren't you afraid that I won't find out before I leave?"

The video played from the beginning, and Chen Shi's voice sounded again.

Huang Dan sighed, he took off the small bottle in front of his chest, poured the ashes inside into his hand, and licked it off bit by bit, "Okay, we're together now."

That day, Huang Dan sat at the table and watched the video. He watched it over and over again. He didn't shed a single tear, but every time Chen Shi said "I love you", he would say "I love you too".