super popular player

In the evening, Wu Chenchuan, the manager, treated guests and arranged a very good banquet in a five-star hotel to celebrate Xue Qingning's birthday.Xue Qingning was a little at a loss. The expression of helplessness was that she buried her head in silence and ate too much.At the end, when he was full, the hotel gave him longevity noodles with a green onion and two poached eggs. I don’t know why, but the hotel probably wanted him to score [-] on the test.

Xue Qingning really couldn't eat anymore, Li Wei watched him take a sip, and as long as he was interested, he took his bowl and helped him finish.

After eating, everyone went back to the club to have a rest. Zhao Qingming drank a little too much, slurred his speech and dragged Xue Qingning to say, "Great, my Qingning is one year older."

Sun Qing sneered coldly: "Hmph. You look like a mother."

"I am the mother of all of you! Do you understand that you love your teammates like your sons? In my eyes, you are all my cubs." Zhao Qingming rushed over to hug Sun Qing, "Sun thief!"

Sun Qing turned back in disgust, and Zhao Qingming was about to hit the wall with sharp eyes.Xiao Jiahuan quickly gave him a hand, stabilized him, and Sun Qing, who looked impatient, hurriedly lifted Zhao Qingming and sent him back to his room to sleep.

Xue Qingning turned to look at Li Wei with a blank face, "Is Brother Zhao all right?"

Li Wei sneered: "Drunkenness is one of the opportunities for adults to indulge. In fact, sometimes people are not very drunk, it's just that alcohol gives them an excuse to be presumptuous."

Xue Qingning half-understood, but Li Wei seemed to rarely get involved in these things, almost by clicking on them.But inexplicably felt that this person should never get drunk: "Captain, don't you like smoking and drinking?"

Li Wei shook his head: "Indulging in tobacco and alcohol is all about worrying. I live a happy life and don't need those."

Xue Qingning was silent for a few seconds: "My father likes it very much. He used to like to sit and smoke and drink alone."

He opened the door of his room and invited Li Wei to sit in.This was the first time that Xue Qingning brought up his past affairs. Li Wei glanced at his face, and the first thing he saw after entering was the potted plants he had given to Xue Qingning.He is well-raised, and it seems that he has taken care of it.

Xue Qingning closed the door, and said softly: "My mother used to like to grow flowers. The ones she grew were jasmine flowers. It is said that after they bloom, they can be dried to make tea."

"Is it delicious?"

"I haven't drunk it." Xue Qingning sat on the sofa with a quiet and cold face, as if she was talking about her own affairs, "The potted plant was broken before it bloomed. It was thrown from a tall building. My mother was beaten at the time." It was so miserable, she couldn’t help running away because of her desire to survive, and as soon as she ran downstairs, my father lifted the flowerpot and smashed it down. If she had run one step faster at that time, she would have died.”

Li Wei was surprised when he heard it, but he felt a little sad, and he turned back and forth in his heart: "Do you want to tell me what happened before?"

Xue Qingning was silent for a while. He sat up in the silent room and looked up at Li Wei: "It's unbearable. Are you afraid that I will lie to you?"

He has always had an instinctive inferiority complex towards Li Wei. Even though he doesn't express it well on the surface, in fact he still thinks that he is not worthy of Li Wei so far.He was quite afraid to say this, because he was afraid that if he mentioned one more sentence about his unbearable past, it would make the glorious people in front of him look down on him.Facing the person he likes, Xue Qingning, he had been walking on thin ice before. He begged for the other's affection like begging, and he couldn't imagine how the other party would hate him when he took it back.

Unexpectedly, Li Wei raised his eyebrows and said as a matter of course: "Don't be afraid. You lied to me to show that you care about me. According to your temperament, you ignore people who don't matter. You must lie to me because you care about me." My feelings. It's too late for me to be happy, as long as the time is long, you can lie to me more. "

Xue Qingning looked at him, and the defenses that had accumulated in her heart for a long time shattered like a collapse of Mount Tai.All of a sudden, the boy's eyes turned red.

Seeing the relaxed expression on his face gradually sinking, Li Wei walked over and hugged him: "It's okay, be good."

Xue Qingning sniffed lightly, and breathed in Li Wei's sense of security in his pure masculine chest, which was wider than her own.

"I'm here for everything... You celebrate your birthday today, and you're one year older, right? Now that you're grown up, you have to..." Li Wei subconsciously said, "A man doesn't cry when he has tears." After a circle, he silently canceled, reached out and touched Xue Qingning's soft hair, "Since you grow up, you must understand that anyone can cry and anyone can be sad. But I am here for everything, and you can leave your sadness to me." custody."

Xue Qingning let him hold her, and Li Wei felt that he took a deep breath, slowly raised her head on his chest, and looked directly at him with black and white eyes: "Captain, I ran away from home."

……

As long as Xue Qingning can remember, the domestic violence he received has been with him like a shadow.

The origin of those fists and slaps was not a whim, but because of a bloody family drama: Xue Qingning's father had been suspicious since the child was born, feeling that his son was not like his own.As time passed, Xue Qingning's delicate and white features became more and more different from his father's dark and rough appearance. Strong suspicion and jealousy distorted this family relationship, causing his father to hate his existence very much.

His father tried to kill him many times, and that memory is so far away that Xue Qingning doesn't even remember how he survived.He was pushed into the water and suffocated, his head was hit by a wine bottle, his neck was strangled and his toes were lifted off the ground... He clearly remembered that every beating was so fatal and bloody, but his father would let go again when he was about to die.Perhaps it was because of the crime of murder, or because of the man's cowardice and timidity.

The man's abuse of women and children is like a catharsis of extreme disgust and hatred.Xue Qingning's first realization from childhood was not that he was born as a human being in this world, but that he was not worthy to live in this world at all.

A man instills an idea in every period of a child's growth: he is dirty and unbearable, like the mud in the gutter, and should never come to this world.

When the child was young, he had no ability to distinguish, and Xue Qingning thought that everything his father said was right.So since he was a child, he felt guilty towards the whole world, hated and hated himself extremely, accepted the beating and abuse as if he was punished, and felt that his existence was humble and sinful.

It wasn’t until she received education after going to compulsory school that Xue Qingning felt that her situation was a little unfair one day with her broken body, so she asked her mother a question in doubt:

Mom, why should I live?

Women are also facing constant mental breakdown due to the long-term threat of domestic violence.At that time, Xue Qingning's mother looked at her inhuman son. Compared with the pain caused by maternal love, she was more eager to survive.

So she looked into those empty and blank eyes, and said to her young child, "Because, you were born to share the pain with your mother..."

"Lime...you were born in early summer...I was in pain for a day and a night to give birth to you..."

"Mom loves you, so you have to share for mother since you were born..."

"You have to be quiet, don't make a sound when your father beats you, don't resist."

"No matter what, don't resist. Be patient. Even if you die, try to endure. Mom will try her best to save you. You have to remember that you are living to share the pain with mom..."

The young Xue Qingning listened to what she said to herself seriously, and the remaining part of her soul was hollowed out by this passage.Those ragged existences are stuffed with another kind of forced indoctrination.His mother held him in her arms and brainwashed him over and over again, so he was obedient, quiet, and neither resisted nor fought.

But when he was lying in bed one day, he saw a dying spider on the ceiling.The spider kept struggling in the web it had formed, trying not to fall down and climbing up by a thread.Seeing the spider about to fall from a height, Xue Qingning suddenly realized one thing: he is human, so he doesn't want to die.

So Xue Qingning began to protect herself, tried to observe where her father's fist would fall, and began to use all the limits of being a human being to perceive danger, guess when a man might want to hit someone, and when it is better to avoid it.But as the child grows up, the man gradually finds that the pain and suffering brought by fists and kicks is more and more limited, so he starts to use various visible utensils to commit violence, such as belts, glass jars, ashtrays and even folding iron rods ...

Those are mortal dangers.One day, Xue Qingning watched helplessly as the iron stool leg was about to fall on him, his pupils constricted and his hair stood on end in an instant, his subconscious desire to survive as a human made him dash into the room and lock the door behind him forcefully!

Men's roars and kicks could be heard outside the door, and the hysterical death threat was just outside the door. The great fear oppressed Xue Qingning, making him shiver with cold.Seeing that the door of the room made an overwhelmed sound under the kick of an adult man, he pulled open his mattress and took out a bag of things from it.In the package were his ID card, a train ticket, and the 250 yuan he had saved for a long time.

The door was about to be kicked open. The young man opened his window and looked down at the downstairs...

Xue Qingning's family lives on the sixth floor. During the rainy season, many residents put up canopies of various colors, like tiny mushrooms on the bottomless cliffs.Jumping from such a high height is enough to kill him, but in the face of death, the original fear and panic in the young man's heart calmed down in an instant.He could hear Xiao Su's wind, and below him was the height of an abyss.

He thought: If I jump down and I die, then anyone can step on my blood and go to every corner of the world.I use my own blood to prove that I have lived.

Mom, so what the hell am I...why am I living for?

The boy had an urge to cry, closed his eyes at the moment when his eye sockets were swollen and painful, and jumped down from the tall building, his skinny body slammed into the plastic canopy on the third floor.This gave him a little bit of buffer, the canopy was shattered in an instant, the boy seemed to be smashed into a nightmare that had been unbearable for more than ten years, and fell to the ground with countless fragments!

After Xue Qingning fell to the ground, his whole body was in pain, and he almost passed out. The debris and the rough concrete floor made his whole body dripping with blood, and there was a heart-rending pain in his shoulders, wrists and lungs.He didn't care about these things, he got up from the ground, gritted his teeth and stumbled forward.He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't know what the future would hold.He just wanted to escape, leave this place of pain for good and never come back!

He can die at any time, but must try to live.

At that time, he didn't know that he was still young, and he didn't know that in the future, he could stand with the people who loved him and do many of the happiest things in the world.

Xue Qingning didn't know that there would be a person in the distant future who would personally tell him: Thank you Xu for coming to this world today many years ago.It is precisely because he is alive that he can meet those beautiful people at this moment.

……

Li Wei heard his voice tremble for the first time, and his heart hurt like someone stabbed him: "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Xue Qingning remained silent for a while, before slowly saying: "Because...it's too unbearable."

"What's so embarrassing!" Li Wei's eyes turned red.

"Captain..." Xue Qingning paused after reading these two words, and breathed a sigh of relief imperceptibly, as if she had said all the things that had been hidden for many years, "No, Li Wei. Since childhood, my father has Call me a bitch. I believed it too, and felt like a bitch...until I wanted to have you."

"I like you very much, so I don't want to see you sad."

The author has something to say:

There are two chapters today! Double updates!

I changed it many times when writing this chapter...

Ah, it's written, I'm so happy.

This is a story about redemption, I'm so happy...

Ask for a comment!