Xue Qingning used to feel that she was dirty. This kind of dirtyness was not physical but psychological. It was like a person who was born in the mud, and his whole body was full of indescribable filth.

Sometimes at certain moments, Li Wei couldn't control his emotions, and inevitably he was a little harder on him. After seeing the red marks and bruises on his side waist and arms, he would feel a little regretful, and asked him why he didn't resist?

In fact, let alone resistance and rejection, he didn't even respond.Generally speaking, people who have been abused and hurt will subconsciously be afraid of being touched and approached by others, so that they are very resistant.However, Xue Qingning didn't feel any uneasiness when it came to physical contact, and even didn't even have the reaction that ordinary people should have, almost numb.

Because he felt he deserved it.

He felt that he was an unbearable person, and he once thought that these were the punishments he deserved for living in this world.

Xue Qingning thought that she had a normal life and could get rid of all that with the one she loved.

A feeling of extreme pain and unwillingness welled up in his chest, as if a cold knife had pierced his heart.While causing damage, it brutally froze the wound, and made the blood flowing into the whole body feel like it was mixed with ice slag.

Xue Qingning felt that she was split in two, one black and one white standing on both sides of the big hotel bed.

The black one is thin and shriveled, only eight or nine years old.

The child's dark eyes looked like a water ghost that had just been drowned. He hugged his knees and stared at Xue Qingning quietly on the bed, and whispered to him: "You will become him one day. Yes, you are humble and lowly, no one will like you at all."

The white one is brisk and beautiful. His body is loose, his legs are long and slender, his delicate face is as clean as jade, and he wears an expensive custom-made suit with an expensive collar around his neck. The words spoken by this tall boy are very messy Short: "These are all fake, look at you, it's ridiculously ugly."

After a while, the black and white people disappeared. They were squeezed into a paste like plasticine, and gradually condensed on the top of the bed, and then a huge face appeared.

That face seemed to have just come out of a pool of blood, the outline was blurred and muddy, but the eyes were very fierce.He stared at Xue Qingning on the bed and said, "Do you think I'm dead? I will haunt you for the rest of my life, I want to see you worthless, I want to see you degenerate, I want to see you betrayed and see you die , until you fall into the same hell as me!"

When Xue Qingning suddenly opened her eyes, it was already daytime.His heart was pounding violently, and he lay on the bed for a long time until someone knocked on the door.

He suddenly remembered that Li Wei said yesterday that he would come and ask him to have breakfast.His heart beat so fast that it was about to jump out of his chest, and he was so flustered that he almost suffocated.Xue Qingning got out of bed subconsciously, trying to find the bag of chestnuts he wanted to bring back for his teammates last night, but froze there.

——He forgot that bag of fried chestnuts on the basketball court.

He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and slumped his shoulders. After opening his eyes, he felt that his eye sockets were sore and painful uncontrollably.

"Sorry, Captain."

"Sorry……"

Xue Qingning hugged her knees and buried her head in, sitting stiffly on the bed, pinching her red, swollen and hot fingers in her hands as if self-harming herself.

The door was still knocking, not in a hurry, and the people outside seemed not to want him knocking and knocking because he was too anxious to open the door.

"Enough..." Xue Qingning gently covered her face, feeling the coldness of her palms.His back trembled slightly, his eye sockets were sore and swollen, and he said softly to himself, "Enough is really enough."

After a while, the door stopped ringing, and the sound of footsteps outside gradually faded away.

Xue Qingning suffocated slowly in the silence, only to feel the eardrums congested with loud noises, which made him dizzy.

At this time, Li Wei, who went to the front desk to ask for a spare room card, turned back and knocked on the door anyway: "Xiao Xue, can I go in? If you don't feel well, I will wait for you for a while. But I have Room card, I can open the door myself."

Xue Qingning: "..."

Li Wei watched the door slowly open in front of him, and Xue Qingning appeared in front of him.He was in a daze for a moment, the first time he saw him he was only below his chin, but now, he was almost at eye level with him when he raised his eyes.

Xue Qingning was silent for a second, her eyes were unfocused, and she said calmly without ups and downs: "Good morning, captain."

Li Wei smiled, his eyes were as warm as the morning sun, and he said: "Good morning, my little Xue."

As he spoke, he took his hand and put a paper bag on his hand.

Xue Qingning was stunned, it turned out to be a bag of fried chestnuts that had just been fried and were boiling hot.

Li Wei suddenly glanced at his fingers calmly, his voice did not change, but he said softly: "When I drove back yesterday, I saw a store like this passing by. So I went to it early in the morning. I bought it, and I happened to buy the first batch of goods that the boss just fried this morning."

"I was thinking of you all the way back when I brought it back. I just felt very happy. The weather in the morning is very good."

"I want the first thing you eat in the morning is the sweet fruit I gave you."

The sweet and seductive smell of chestnuts wafted out, the yellow brown paper bag seemed to still have the morning light, and the tall and handsome man in front of him had gentle eyebrows and eyes, all this was so beautiful that it was like a dream.

Li Wei held his face in his hands, looked at his pale complexion and dark circles under his eyes, and kissed him on the forehead: "Is there any discomfort?"

"...No." Xue Qingning took a lot of effort to calm her voice.In a daze, he turned around and walked inside, wanting to take a hot shower first, wash off the cold sweat all over his back, and then change his clothes.

A pair of hands suddenly passed under the armpit and pinned him.Xue Qingning was accused of walking and couldn't move. The man stood by the door and couldn't go in or out: "Are you hiding something from me?"

Xue Qingning's heart skipped a beat, and she subconsciously shook her head.

Li Wei just walked in with his arms around him like this, and didn't let go of his grip. After the door was closed, he said, "To be honest, did you go out to whore last night?"

"???"

Xue Qingning looked up at him from bottom to top, even at this angle of death, Li Wei was still so beautiful, like a beautiful white lotus.He looked at it for a long time before saying, "Am I blind?"

Li Wei put his arms around him and said in silence for a second: "...Could this be your excuse for breaking up?"

Xue Qingning: "..."

He also stared at him stubbornly, knowing that Li Wei was waiting for him to take the initiative to explain.But for the first time, he didn't compromise. The two people's attitudes could be regarded as tit-for-tat, and neither of them gave in.The atmosphere suddenly became very stiff, and it took Xue Qingning a long time to continue the lyrics uncertainly: "For example, if I had to do it all over again, would you love me?"

Li Wei: "..."

He subconsciously let go.I thought there was nothing I could do about him.Forget it, let him go first.

After all, love brings happiness and torture.

Xue Qingning was distracted by such a sudden interruption, and regained her sense of being a normal person.He ran to the room as if fleeing, and quickly washed and changed his clothes.Li Wei sat in the living room of the hotel room and peeled candied and fried chestnuts for him. He was really good at peeling things.

While peeling, he restrained the expression on his face to be calm and unwavering.

Li Wei thought about what he saw when he opened the door just now: the ring finger and little finger of Xue Qingning's left hand, the fingertips and joints were a little red, which was a sign of finger contusion.Almost everyone who plays basketball regularly has a finger bruised.Either the joint is deformed or bent. This kind of injury has a lot to do with the incorrect posture of passing and catching the ball.Therefore, no matter how good the technical talent is for beginners, such invisible injuries will definitely be left on their hands.

When he opened the door for himself, he heard the sound and didn't pull the safety catch, which means he forgot to lock it when he came back in a hurry last night.In addition to the messy pair of sneakers with the toes facing inwards placed at the entrance, the uppers even have a special cement gray.Where he went and what he did last night is actually not difficult to guess.

He peeled things as fiercely as ever, one at a time, not even the chestnut skin was left perfectly.

Li Wei thought to himself, this child has a knot in his heart, and the shadow left over the years is not so easy to get rid of.For this, he could only silently pull him when he was in deep water.

Although hell is muddy and pulls people to fall, there should be obsessions in the world that make people reluctant to give up.

Li Wei easily peeled all the chestnuts, put the golden, sweet and warm chestnuts in a paper bag, and thought proudly: "I can't fucking beat a dead man?"

After Xue Qingning changed her clothes, she poked her head out of the room and looked at him cautiously: "Captain, I'm fine."

Li Wei beckoned to him, patted his side, and signaled him to come over and sit down on the edge of the sofa.

Xue Qingning walked over slowly and sat down slowly.Li Wei saw that his eyes were still somewhat defensive, and he didn't take the lead in asking questions, so he stuffed the peeled chestnuts into his hand.Then he got up and went to the bathroom to get a white towel, opened the small refrigerator that came with the hotel room, took out some ice cubes and wrapped it up.

He sat down and took Xue Qingning's hand, examined his fingers carefully, applied an ice towel on it, and said, "Your hand is fine, it's just a little swollen and it will be healed in a day or two. Next time it hurts, you should immediately Apply ice cubes, it doesn't work now, it's better than nothing."

Xue Qingning felt that she had stopped breathing, and a feeling of panic and palpitation after being exposed came up again.

"Your hands club is actually insured. Playing basketball with millions of dollars is a bit of a luxury." Li Wei lowered his head and put ice on him, "It's also a bit dangerous. But if you really like it, next time I will I can fight with you, teach you the correct posture, and make sure you won't get hurt."

"……sorry."

"The body is your own, you don't have to apologize for it." Li Wei massaged his knuckles for him.

Xue Qingning stared at the hand he was holding and kneading, and said in a low voice, "I feel that the person I was last night is not like me."

Li Wei didn't stop, looked at him seriously and listened to what he said next.

Xue Qingning seemed to be feeling tired. He stretched out his hand to cover half of his face, lowered his head and said, "I'm afraid of becoming like my father, but I feel more and more like him."

Li Wei thought for a while and asked, "Did you feel very free recently?"

"Yes." Xue Qingning replied without hesitation.Since entering RL, he felt that he lived like a person, loved and cared by others, and he was relieved of many things that he had never been in touch with.At first, he thought it was extremely precious, but when he lived more and more like a normal person, something in his heart began to derail.

Li Wei looked at him, knowing it well.

Such a person has endured many hardships but became famous at a young age.The stronger the contrast between the suffering in the early stage and the happiness in the later stage, the greater the psychological gap will be caused, and it is normal to have any psychological problems.

Li Wei said flatly: "People come to this world to pursue freedom and happiness. Everyone has the right to pursue freedom, but we still need to keep one thing in mind."

"What?" Xue Qingning asked.

"Freedom cannot exist at the price of giving up restraint." Li Wei held Xue Qingning's hand, like an elder brother educating his younger brother earnestly. "Only by restraining oneself and managing one's own heart can one obtain limited freedom under infinite constraints."

Xue Qingning froze fiercely, feeling a rumble in her ears.

Li Wei looked at him tenderly, and said softly: "It is precisely because of the tight restraint on yourself that made you a kind and gentle person. And..."

Seeing him stop, Xue Qingning stared at him and asked, "And what?"

Li Wei finally showed another relaxed and beautiful smile, and said, "And you have to trust me. Because the person who likes you always has a very good eye."

Xue Qingning took a deep breath, like a suffocated person breathing in oxygen again, like a person suspended in the sky and falling into a thick and soft goose down blanket.He stepped forward and stretched out his hand, hugged Li Wei vigorously, and greedily breathed the unique reassuring breath on his body, as if relying on these to allow the drowned water ghost to return to the world.

Li Wei stroked his back and asked, "Do you feel better?"

"Ah."

"Really? Tell the truth."

"...a little hungry."

Li Wei laughed and said, "Then let's go downstairs and have breakfast."

The people from the RL club returned to N City by plane after finishing their activities and publicity.On the way back from the airport, Wu Chenchuan used his pad to look at the club's work schedule for the next period of time. He was just about to discuss the next itinerary with Li Wei when he raised a slender finger and put it on his lips to make a gesture. Silent gesture.

No one in the car spoke, even Sun Qing, who was scrolling through Weibo on her mobile phone, turned on mute.It was all because Xue Qingning fell asleep in the back seat.

He didn't sleep well last night. At this time, he was most at ease in the car surrounded by his teammates.The young man lowered his head silently, and slept with his eyes closed without making any sound.

The carriage was silent, and the serene atmosphere seemed to spread in the small space along with his deep sleep.So Wu Chenchuan also turned around, stopped discussing work, and turned the ipad to silent mode.

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