under the filth

After He Xiu left, Tang Cen sat in front of Jiang Yan's grave all afternoon.He didn't say anything, just sat in the wheelchair, silently looking at the gray tombstone.

Just like Jiang Yan in the past, Tang Cen had no way to express the pain he endured alone during that dark time, and he couldn't tell others. He could only force himself to forget that dirty and dark past.

Tang Cen was staring at the tombstone in a daze, his lifeless face had a decadent beauty, like a flower on the verge of withering.

Just like the red rose blooming in the quagmire, covered with sharp thorns and covered with mud, people marvel at its beauty, but loathe its filth, no one is willing to step into the stinky quagmire to kill it take off.

It has been blooming there, slowly blooming and decaying.

After returning from the cemetery, Tang Cen never went out again. He stayed quietly in the ward, not communicating with the nurses, nor did he mention meeting He Xiu.No matter who talked to him, he didn't respond, he just stayed in that closed space quietly.

After waking up every day, Tang Cen would always stare blankly at the sky outside the window in a daze. Every time the nurse came to make rounds, he would maintain the same posture, as if he had never moved.

Except when meeting He Xiu, Tang Cen repeated the same actions the rest of the time, taking medicine, infusion, and sleeping every day.Occasionally when he needed to be checked, he would lie quietly on the bed and let the doctor fiddle with him.

Tang Cen's condition was up and down, but the overall situation was not optimistic.Since his condition worsened three years ago, he can no longer communicate with people normally.

Not to mention the year spent between the general hospital and the mental hospital, even during the two years in the nursing home, Tang Cen was only willing to talk to He Xiu, and there were even two extremes. He was very talkative in front of He Xiu. But in front of other people, even his younger brother Tang Qian, he refused to say a word.

"Brother still won't talk to me?" Tang Qian sat in front of Tang Cen's hospital bed, stretched out his hand cautiously, and gently pulled Tang Cen's finger.

Tang Cen leaned on the bed and looked out of the window with empty eyes, but the fine rain curtain covered everything outside the window.Raindrops hit the windows, and there were winding water marks on the transparent glass.

Tang Qian came here in the heavy rain, his hair was so wet that water could be squeezed out, and the clothes on his shoulders were also wet from the rain, looking a little embarrassed.

But even so, Tang Cen didn't even look at him even though he couldn't see anything outside the window.

Tang Qian was afraid of irritating Tang Cen, and with the company's busy schedule, he seldom came to see Tang Cen.But every time Tang Qian came to see Tang Cen, Tang Cen was always silent and didn't say anything.

The last conversation between the two was three years ago, not long after Tang Cen was pushed out of the emergency room.From then on, Tang Cen unilaterally refused to talk to Tang Qian.

Unexpectedly bumped into a wall, Tang Qian took a deep breath, smiled very reluctantly at his brother: "Then I will come to see you another day."

Tang Qian's voice seemed to be holding back crying, and there was a bit of grievance in the trill.

For three whole years, Tang Cen didn't speak a single word to him. This was completely different from the years when he went abroad. Even if he hadn't spoken at that time, Tang Qian at least knew that Tang Cen was safe and sound, but now... …

Tang Cen's fingers moved slightly, and when Tang Qian was about to withdraw his hand, he made a few guilty gestures on his hand.

The place where the palm was swept by the fingers was a little itchy, Tang Qian shook his shoulders, resisting the urge to withdraw his hand, and silently organized the characters Tang Cen gesticulated in his hand.

After Tang Qian spelled out the three words that Tang Cen gesticulated on his hand, he asked with a wry smile: "Brother's next time... When is it?"

Tang Cen didn't know when the next time would be, nor did he understand why he made such a sudden move, but when he heard his younger brother say that, his body suddenly moved by itself.

Maybe he can no longer escape, he will only hurt other people by doing nothing now.

Tang Qian left in the heavy rain. The rain lasted for three consecutive days before it stopped. On a long-lost sunny day, Tang Cen suddenly broke the week-long silence, and he offered to meet He Xiu again.

When He Xiu rushed to the hospital, Tang Cen had just taken the medicine and looked a little dazed, but he greeted He Xiu when he opened the door.

"Have you not had a rest recently?" He Xiu said while pulling out a chair and sitting down.

Tang Cen's hand outside the quilt trembled slightly, and then slowly held his left wrist with his right hand: "It may be because I slept too much in the past few days, and I can't sleep a little these two days."

This time Tang Cen didn't rub the skin on his wrist, but gently scraped his wrist with his fingertips, sweeping along the curve of the raised bones.

He Xiu rubbed his hair that was messed up by the wind, and asked Tang Cen a few more questions before saying, "It's okay, it's normal in your current situation, you can adjust it slowly."

Tang Cen responded in a low voice and stopped talking. Seeing that he was silent, He Xiu didn't take the initiative to ask about the previous things.He looked up at the ceiling, and then down at the tiles on the floor, a little at a loss.

As the time went by, He Xiu didn't dare to ask further questions. This was the first time he encountered such a situation. After all, Tang Cen's status was too special, and he couldn't treat him like other patients.

The two of them were silent for a while, and He Xiu finally couldn't help but asked, "Would you like to tell me what I told you before?"

Although he had already made psychological preparations, Tang Cen's heart still felt cold when he heard He Xiu's words.He lowered his head with a sleepy expression, and said very slowly: "I don't... I don't really remember what happened at that time. What I'm telling you now may be something that never happened at all. Even so, you Want to know too?"

He Xiu heard the meaning of retreat in Tang Cen's words. He straightened his back and leaned forward slightly: "As long as you are willing to tell me, that's enough. I will judge the rest myself."

Tang Cen didn't tell He Xiu right away, he was quiet for a while as if he was trying to search for memories from his chaotic mind.When the sunlight fell on the bed sheet through the glass, Tang Cen touched the piece of light, and said very calmly: "On my 31st birthday, Lu Sheng found me."

Since Eisen returned to London, Tang Cen has returned to living alone.The difference is that this time, after two nights of insomnia, his life in the small apartment in Paris returned to its original state.

Tang Cen's life hasn't changed much, except that there is one less person in the family, and no one will hug him when he sleeps at night, but he doesn't feel lonely.

Eisen was worried that Tang Cen was not used to staying at home alone, so he would call him at least twice a day, nagging and asking about his health, and Tang Cen would also count the remaining sugar in the sugar bowl and tell him the remaining time .

Both of them thought that the days of separation would be difficult, but every day they chatted until Opera Chow interrupted the call with a "meow".

A week passed without knowing it, and on the night before Tang Cen's birthday, Eisen called again, an hour later than usual, but Tang Cen didn't care.

They talk on the phone every day, and there is actually not much to say. Most of the time, Eisen is talking and Tang Cen is listening.After asking about his health as usual, Eisen began to complain about work again. Tang Cen had listened to those contents countless times, but every time he would comfort him with a smile.

There is only an hour's time difference between London and Paris. Tang Cen saw the time displayed on the wall clock and found that it was close to zero. He hurriedly urged Eisen on the other end to hang up the phone: "Go to bed early, you have a meeting tomorrow."

"Ah!" Eisen seemed to knock something off, and a sound of an object falling to the ground came through the earpiece, and then Eisen's voice sounded again, "Wait! Wait another 2 minutes!"

Tang Cen heard the sound of objects falling from the other end of the phone, so he sat up in shock and asked nervously, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I don't know what Eisen is busy with. It took Tang Cen more than ten seconds to hear him speak, and there was still electrical noise in his voice: "No... oh, by the way, someone may send something over tomorrow, remember to collect it .”

Tang Cen only thought it was something Aisen bought online, and didn't think about anything else at all, and asked habitually, "Would you like to disassemble it for you?"

Eisen on the other end of the phone laughed embarrassingly, and said falteringly: "No...that's actually...your birthday present."

"Happy birthday." Eisen said softly over there.

Tang Cen froze for a moment, then quickly grabbed the tablet at hand and glanced at the date on it, it was [-]:[-] Paris time on his birthday.

Eisen hasn't mentioned the matter of celebrating his birthday with him during this time. Tang Cen, who seldom celebrates his birthday, never deliberately remembers the time of his birthday, so that he didn't realize that today is his birthday until Eisen said it. Birthday.

Tang Cen had only heard of lovers celebrating each other's birthdays with zero points stuck, but he didn't expect to meet him too.

"Then you should come back earlier to celebrate my birthday with me." Tang Cen got under the covers with his mobile phone in his hands, his eyes curled up happily.

"Should be able to go back next week." More than 400 kilometers away, Eisen couldn't see the expression on his face, but he could hear his mood at the moment from Tang Cen's voice.Hearing Tang Cen's voice with a smile, Eisen laughed too: "It's getting late, go to bed quickly."

"Good night." The faint smile in Tang Cen's brows and eyes hadn't receded, and the two hung up the phone after Eisen said good night to him.

Perhaps because of being too excited, Tang Cen didn't sleep well that night, tossing and turning for most of the night, and didn't fall asleep until dawn.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, Tang Cen was awakened by a knock on the door.He fell into a drowsy sleep, but still remembered the gift Eisen said last night, put on a coat and hurried to open the door.

However, what was behind the door was not what Tang Cen expected.

Opening the door, Tang Cen saw Lu Sheng standing at the door.

"Long time no see, Tang Cen." Lu Sheng smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.He took a step forward, raised his hand to caress Tang Cen's astonished face, and gently rubbed his fingertips around his side face.

"Maybe I should say happy birthday to you?"