chasing autumn

"Xiao Hei, why...you don't eat anymore..."

In the middle of the night, candlelight illuminates the window paper.

Xiao Hei shrunk weakly in the corner, barely breathing.Hearing Huolian's call, she slightly opened her eyes to look at him.But those eyes have long lost the brilliance of the past, but now they are empty like a pool of stagnant water, full of helplessness and desolation.

Huo Lian was busy in the house without stopping.I can't count how many sleepless nights this is...

He has never been so afraid like now, even if it was the first time the blade saw blood, the first time he killed someone, he didn't think he was trembling like this now, as if he was afraid of losing it, and couldn't stand it, so he fought his life to retain.

"You must be sick, right? That quack doctor really can't do it, I'll take you to someone to see..."

"No need!"

Just as Huolian was about to leave the house with Xiao Hei in her arms, the door was suddenly pushed open forcefully.

"Father!...Xiao Hei is sick, I will go to the doctor..."

Zhan Hao walked into the house, and cast a cold glance at the dog in his arms, "No wonder you've been groggy all day, so all your energy was wasted on this beast!"

"It's sick, very sick, it hasn't eaten for 2 days...I can't leave it alone..." Huo Lian explained eagerly.

"It's not sick! It's just that it's dying!"

Huo Lian shook her head, "No, how could Xiao Hei die? He has been with me for 13 years..." Before he finished speaking, a strong wind suddenly blew, and there was a void in his arms. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Xiao Hei Hei had already been thrown heavily on the grass in the yard, without even making a sound, his body stiffened and there was no movement.

Huo Lian ran over and knelt beside Xiao Hei's body.

"Playing around! Look at what you look like!"

"...Why did you kill it, why did you kill it yourself...Didn't Dad pick it up from the snow and give it to me..." Huo Lian's voice was hoarse.

"...Father just wants to teach you to let go of everything, and don't let unimportant things affect your mood!"

Huo Lian lowered her head heavily, her body was constantly trembling due to the pain, her hands and ten fingers were deeply inserted into the soil because of too much force, he struggled for a long time with his mouth slightly open, but he couldn't make a sound when he wanted to shout.

It is not important, so what is important?What else do I have? ...It's me, it's all because of me!If it weren't for my lack of energy, Dad wouldn't be suspicious, wouldn't come here late at night, and wouldn't kill Xiao Hei!

*******************************************

The next day, at noon.

"Huo Lian, you've lost weight, it's because Dad pushed you too hard..."

"This, this is... this!" There was a sound of a wooden bench being overturned.

"Eat it!"

Huolian couldn't believe her ears and eyes, she shook her body, and took a few steps back feebly, "No, I can't..."

Zhan Hao snorted secretly in his heart, glanced at Huo Lian lightly, and said coldly: "Unless you want to lose more!"

"No!" Huo Lian knelt down, "Don't hurt Lightning, don't!"

"……lightning?"

Zhan Hao frowned, thought for a while, suddenly a surge of anger rushed into his heart, and he pulled Huo Lian's skirt fiercely with one hand, "I said it! Don't let it use the name Lightning!! Can't you understand?!"

Huo Lian was dragged in front of him, crying in a trembling voice, "Father, I know I was wrong, it's my fault! I shouldn't have missed Mr. Qin's lecture because of Xiao Hei, and I shouldn't have let him be so big." It’s a waste of time, I shouldn’t waste my energy on these things... But, if you want to punish me, you can punish me, don’t hurt innocent people..."

"Shut up!" Letting go and throwing Huolian away, Zhan Hao suppressed the anger in his heart, took a deep breath, and said, "You should understand that I will never take back what I said!!... Unless, you want to lose More!"

*******************************************

Late at night, by the lake.

"13 years, it can be regarded as the end of life...isn't it?"

"metropolitan……"

"... Bury it soon... don't let Huo Lian see..." Zhan Hao turned around and walked away after speaking.

Xiao Hei was still in the familiar posture, lying quietly on the ground, under the moonlight, the dark fur on his body was shining.It looks like it can jump up at any time because of a familiar call, it can dance around someone again, and it can watch the house for its little master on a certain lonely night...

The hunchback looked at it, sighed, and thought: You are so peaceful, but you don't know that your master is about to tear himself apart for you...

*********************************************

After the autumn wind, it is always desolate.

Above the wilderness, under the sky, when the barking of the dog that often came has become a part of the silence of the night, the night today is chillingly empty.

After asking Uncle Tuo, one evening, Huolian came to Xiao Hei's grave and wanted to accompany this old friend again.

The rising sun finally took away the last ray of warmth, and the quiet lakeside became more and more deserted.Just as Huolian found a place to sit down, she heard someone calling behind her.

"Master Yu!"

"Aunt Yun, why are you here?"

"Lightning brought me here." Qiuniang said, tied the rein in her hand to a nearby tree, and sat beside Huolian.

Huo Lian thought about it secretly, these few days because of Xiao Hei's incident, he was very downcast, he didn't care about the lightning, it seems that this horse really understands human nature, and can even find the way to find himself.

"What kind of young master am I...I can't even protect my partner..." Huolian's eyes flashed, and she said softly.

Qiuniang was a little puzzled when she heard this, but she understood a little when she saw a small mound of dirt next to her, and said, "Huo Lian, is it Xiao Hei... No wonder you are so depressed... It still hasn't recovered..."

"...Yes." Huo Lian didn't want to mention this matter again.His father killed it with his own hands, and then forced himself to eat its meat. He still couldn't tell the bloody fact.

"...There is no permanent banquet in this world. Birth, old age, sickness and death cannot be undone by manpower. Don't be too sad..."

"I see."

"Why did you start drinking?" Qiuniang saw the jug on the side, "Alcohol can only numb people's hearts, it can't solve problems at all. Didn't you tell me that you can face everything bravely and never use alcohol to relieve your worries... ..."

"I have always felt that I can overcome everything, no matter what kind of difficulty I will overcome, but I think that without alcohol in the future, I am afraid that I will not be able to withstand it..."

"Huolian, when Aunt Yun was young, she was used by others and brought to Fanbang, where she was detained for 10 years. At that time, I thought about dying and giving up, but I was unwilling and finally escaped... I think, the world There are many things that are unexpected, and you don’t need to know about them, and those who live in them can only have hope if they live strong, don’t they?”

"I don't know, I have my responsibility, and all I can do now is continue to bear it..." Huo Lian's eyes were a little moist, "My mother died very early, I have never seen her... I have been with her all the time. My father is dependent on each other, my father is very strict with me, I study literature and martial arts, and if I feel unsatisfactory, I will hit or scold... I have no friends, only Xiao Hei has been with me for 13 years..."

Huo Lian couldn't go on talking, he was afraid that if he said it again, tears would fall.

Seeing his expression, Qiuniang stretched out her arms to wrap him in her arms, holding him tightly.

"Huo Lian, maybe sometimes, we are not as strong as we imagined..."

I don't know since when, Qiuniang has treated Huolian like her own child.In her eyes, it seems that this young man has been burdened with many, many heavy stories, too heavy to share with others, and can only bear silently.

The tears burst and I couldn't hold back anymore.

That was the first time Huolian cried out since she became sensible.Every time in the past, when he was suffering or being wronged, he just avoided the secret tears of others. He didn't want Uncle Tuo to see him because he didn't want people to think he was weak; he didn't want Dad to see him because he didn't want him to He was disappointed, unwilling to draw a knife in his heart again.He has been forcing himself to hold on, even if he may never see the sun of tomorrow again.

In the past, even if you asked softly, why did you give me such a fate, you would only smile...

There is no one around, no voice, since there is no one to complain about, why should you always expect an answer?

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