Little mortals' dreams come true

Fang Qing did not lie to Han Sheng. After Han Sheng went back that night, only two days later, Li Fan's address was sent to his mobile phone, along with a sentence:

He said he won't see you.

When he received the message, Han Sheng was concentrating on reading a not-so-important document.He just came out of the conference room more than ten minutes ago, refused the lunch ordered by the secretary for him, and spun around at work like a spinning top.

He was indeed like a spinning top right now, he was beating himself, forcing himself to turn, and he would fall if he stopped.

When the message notification sounded, he didn't rush forward as crazy as before. Instead, he read the last paragraph of information before clicking on the phone.

He clearly gave the address, but he added one sentence perseveringly: I won't see you.

He clearly said he would not meet, but wrote the address in a vague way.

The news was so confusing that he couldn't see the meaning of the words clearly, just like Han Sheng's deep eyes, his eyes fluttered, he couldn't tell whether he was happy or disappointed.

However, that short piece of address, which was accurate to the house number, was like a piece of driftwood in the sea, and he finally had a little support for his heart that had been drifting for a long time.

He didn't want to see him, but he was there and couldn't find him.

Han Sheng held his phone in silence for a while, then called the secretary on the intercom, and asked her to reorder lunch.His appetite wasn't great, but Han Sheng still ate the whole bento slowly. Then, he leaned on the small sofa that Li Fan used to sit on when he came to see him, closed his eyes lightly, and almost instantly fast asleep.

This sleep was not long, but it was a peaceful sleep that he hadn't had in a long time.The moment I opened my eyes, all the struggling emotions in my eyes disappeared together with the drowsiness, leaving only one clear thought:

I'm going to find him.

He no longer rushed there in a hurry like last time, but did all the important things at hand in an orderly manner, explained what should be explained, asked what should be ordered, and then withdrew from the company that was running smoothly, for the first time I took a long vacation for myself.

It took him two days to prepare. During these two days, that line of address seemed to be fused into his bones and blood. He didn't need to think about it all the time. It was in his body, surging and flowing, and it would not disappear or change.Therefore, he was not in a hurry, and used every bit of time to prepare.

He wanted to find Li Fan, find him, and beg him to forgive him.He has no worries, he can wait until Li Fan is willing to see him.

When he received Li Kang's call, Han Sheng was packing his luggage in the apartment. He bought a train ticket for tomorrow morning. Because the work has been handed over, he left the company early today.

Han Sheng's heart skipped a beat. They hadn't been in touch since that class reunion.If Li Kang hadn't drank too much wine at that party and choked up telling him that Song Tiaodong liked him, Han Sheng might not even remember his name very much.

Thinking of it this way, he realized that he hadn't thought of Song Tiaodong for a long time, like a rain that had been raining for a long time, and it stopped silently, and people walking by happened to look up, only to realize that the dark clouds had dispersed at some point Go, touch your slightly wet forehead, and sigh unconsciously:

The rain doesn't seem to be that difficult.

Li Kang originally went to the company to look for him, but in vain, he made an appointment at a coffee shop.

The two are not very familiar with each other, and it is inevitable to exchange pleasantries when they meet.This time the two of them didn't drink, and they met alone again, there was no lively atmosphere, and their speech was a bit reserved.

Li Kang took out an envelope and handed it to Han Sheng, saying:

"I also only recently got the news that Coltsfoot has a younger sister named Song Chuxue. Their family...the situation is more complicated, and I can't tell you the specifics. Anyway, it's not easy. The whole family is holding on to the Coltsfoot like they are catching straw. I wish he could take over the burden of the whole family overnight. Coltsfoot has always been under a lot of pressure, but he hides it deeply, and is usually gentle and gentle, even the few people in our dormitory are not aware of it. In fact, during the period before the accident, he was already on the verge of collapse. When Song Chuxue was sorting out his belongings, he once found a diary, but he was too shocked at the time and didn’t take a closer look at it. Later, when he accidentally opened it, he realized that he could take a closer look. The person who is fine has actually been broken from the inside... Song Chuxue knows that everyone has been feeling guilty about that accident, so she found a way to contact us. I know it doesn't sound like much to people, but ...Perhaps, what happened at that time was a choice made by Coltsfoot himself, he chose to be relieved, chose...to give up those pressures..."

At the end, Li Kang lowered his head, his voice was so low that he could barely hear it.

"It contains a few fragments. The diary is at Song Chuxue's place, and this piece of paper is clipped inside. Because I mentioned you, I'm coming here. You can read it... and you'll understand."

Han Sheng maintained his composure on his face, but his hand was a little unsteady when he took the envelope. Seeing that Li Kang turned his head, with a hint of avoidance, he opened the envelope.

It's not a very long paragraph, and it's arranged in a mess on the paper.In my memory, Song Dongdong's handwriting was thin and thin, with a touch of elegance, but the words on this paper were obviously much scribbled, and the linked strokes were impetuous. Han Sheng couldn't even imagine how Song Dongdong wrote these words.

He wrote:

I feel useless, I can't breathe, I don't want to be the only hope, I don't want to be the rope that pulls them forward...

I'm so tired, I'm not happy being alive, I don't love that family, I've gotten nothing but stress and anxiety, and they're asking me to give everything to save them.

The quagmire is too deep, too deep, I'm afraid, I'm afraid I won't be able to drag them out, I want to leave by myself, but everyone seems to think it's a matter of course, those burdens, those burdens, all are taken for granted Yes, they don't even allow me to call it a burden, they think I should feel that is my happiness...

I feel sick.

so tired...

I don't even want Xiaosheng's company anymore, I want to leave, I want to leave, to go far away, to a place where I don't need to struggle...

If there is a valley with no bottom, I will jump down.

Then I can fly.

Is there such a valley?If there is, I will not be able to resist the temptation.

I am doomed to feel sorry for Xiao Sheng.

And that boy, I still lied to him, lied to him that we could be friends, lied to him that I valued that family very much.

I am sorry.

I am sorry.

……

At the end of the article, many sentences of sorry are overlapped together, making a mess. Sometimes the writing is so light that the lines become weak, and sometimes it is so heavy that it penetrates the back of the paper. The person who wrote the pen must have lost consciousness.

There was a long silence between the two of them. Li Kang sneaked a glance and saw Han Sheng holding the crumpled piece of paper, as silent as an ancient tree that had stood for a thousand years.

After hesitating for a moment, he spoke softly to comfort:

"Actually, it's useless to show you these things now, but, you've been alone for so many years, the hurdle is too high...I just think, perhaps, for Coltsfoot, he chose the ending he wanted , we can't understand, and we should learn to accept..."

"No, he didn't jump off by himself."

Han Sheng didn't look up, he was still staring at the paper, but his tone was extremely firm.

Li Kang choked on the words that reached his throat. He didn't expect Han Sheng to say "jump down" directly. Although he expressed the same meaning, he kept weighing the words as euphemistically as possible.Furthermore, Han Sheng's tone was too firm, for a moment he almost thought that everything Han Sheng saw with his own eyes.

However, he knew that Han Sheng was alone in the hotel when the accident happened, and with the diary in Song Chuxue's hand, no matter how he didn't believe it, no matter how he looked at it, this was the most likely possibility.

He thought about it again, probably Han Sheng was too shocked and couldn't accept it for a while, so he continued:

"It's normal for you to be unable to accept it for a while. Coltsfoot hid it too deeply. Probably no one thought of it except himself. In fact, the police saw the traces and had some vague guesses, but they didn't say it directly. They only told their family members. , was rejected outright, until Song Chuxue read that book..."

"no,"

Han Sheng interrupted Li Kang again:

"Didn't Li Fan be with him at that time? Even if he had this idea, he probably wouldn't jump off when there are people around."

Li Kang was confused when he heard that:

"Ah? What are you talking about? Didn't the leader of the research team say that the coltsfoot said that he was in a bad mood and wanted to go for a walk alone, and separated from everyone? However, it seems that Li Fan was the first to find the coltsfoot's phone ... But he only caught up with him later, and everyone followed when they found out that the coltsfoot could not be contacted, so how could he be with the coltsfoot... You must have misremembered."

This time it was Han Sheng's turn to be puzzled:

"But Li Fan was waiting for me in the hospital. He told me that he couldn't save the coltsfoot because he was afraid of heights. He said..."

"Did you hear it wrong? You must have made a mistake. The team leader remembers very clearly that Li Fan was not physically strong at the time, and he was left behind alone, but the coltsfoot and everyone walked for a while before they separated. But Li Fan did It was because he was afraid of heights. It seemed that when he found his mobile phone, he couldn’t move over to pick it up. He seemed to be throwing up behind him. It was really serious... But at that time, the coltsfoot had long been... How could he be saved? This is wrong, you probably I was anxious and misheard."

Li Kang spoke with certainty. Seeing that Han Sheng's face was stiff with death, he slowed down his tone a little bit unbearably:

"Xiao Sheng, no matter what, let's just treat coltsfoot as a relief, okay? So many years have passed, the past is the past, let it go, we have to look forward. I came to see you today, and I hope to let you Untie your knots, and in the future, find a suitable partner and live well."

Han Sheng kept frowning and was speechless.

Until he said goodbye to Li Kang and walked back to the apartment in a daze, Han Sheng still seemed to be shrouded in a thick layer of fog and couldn't breathe.

He couldn't be wrong, that evening, when he saw Li Fan in the hospital, Li Fan did say sorry to him, saying that he failed to look after the coltsfoot, that he was afraid of heights so he couldn't save him...

Mingming, Mingming Lifan went out with coltsfoot...

Besides, that time on the Ferris wheel, Li Fan asked him if he hated it. If it was what Li Kang said, why didn't he explain, why he allowed himself to be misunderstood for so long, why did he say that I'm sorry...

There is also the fear of heights. It is obviously good to see him on the Ferris wheel. Why is it so serious that you can’t even pick up the mobile phone that fell off the edge of the cliff? How could you kneel on the ground just approaching the canyon...

He desperately recalled, groping for every detail from the dusty memory, but no matter how much he searched, there was only Li Fan crying and saying sorry to him in his mind.

But why?Back then when I blamed Li Fan for this matter, why didn't he explain it so many times?

Could it be that the knot I thought was just a one-sided misunderstanding from beginning to end?

How could he believe, how dare he believe, hated and struggled for so many years, is it all fake?