Tentative

The long-standing entanglement seems to have finally come to an end.

I don't know if it was because of fatigue or because of the naked display of his heart, Shen Yizhuo slept very soundly that night, without any dreams, until the phone rang, which woke him up from his sleep.He closed his eyes, groped around the pillow for a while, and hung up the phone.

It took him a while to recover, and slowly opened his eyes.

I can see that the curtains are wide open. The day before was still cloudy and rainy, but today it is sunny and dazzling.He turned over slowly and stretched out his hand to the person beside him.

In the next second, Shen Yizhuo sat up in shock, gasping for breath, still in disbelief.

——The side is empty, and he is the only one in the bedroom.

Immediately thinking of the worst possible developments in his mind, he got off the bed with little hesitation, and opened the bedroom door before he could put on his clothes.

The living room was also empty.

Shen Yizhuo still didn't give up, and looked at all the spaces in this small apartment.

No, nowhere, Qu Zhe is not here.

The person who hugged and fell asleep last night has disappeared today.Shen Yizhuo collapsed on the sofa in a daze, stared at the ceiling in a daze for a while, then hurried into the bedroom and took out his mobile phone to watch.

The missed call in the morning was from the secretary.

There are no unread messages.

He tried to dial Qu Zhe's phone, but only a cold female voice told him that the other party had turned off the phone.

He still left, and this time it was more confusing than last time, which was completely beyond his expectation—he thought that everything had been explained clearly, and if he told Qu Zhe his feelings well, he would be able to let him stay.

But the reality is usually not satisfactory, and the belated love is not so touching and fascinating.

And to him, it's what he deserves.

Later, Shen Yizhuo found out that when he was still asleep that morning, Qu Zhe went to a house on the outskirts of the city, and he still heard from Aunt Liu.He went to pick up some of Qu Xiaoyu's belongings, but he didn't take anything else. He only told Aunt Liu that he wanted to take her home, and then left.

Shen Yizhuo went to Qiaocheng again, found his parents' cemetery after many twists and turns, and then went to Qu Zhe's old house, but there was no trace of Qu Zhe anywhere.

This time it seemed that he could never be found again. Qu Zhe disappeared without a trace, as if he had never appeared before.

He went to Jiang Yuzhao, trying to find some clues - he would rather Qu Zhe be with Jiang Yuzhao than leave him like this without a trace.But Jiang Yuzhao's phone was turned off, and the manager of M8 told him that Jiang Yuzhao had gone abroad and would not be back in a short time.

Finally, all the people and things related to Qu Zhe disappeared.

If you want a reason to leave, it's probably because you've forgotten something.

If there is a reason why he must leave Shen Yizhuo, it is probably because Qu Zhe doesn't know how to fall in love with this person.

He should hate him, loathe him, spurn him, and even want to see him suffer the consequences. It would be better for everyone to betray their relatives and be more pitiful than himself.

But he always liked him.

It is a habit engraved in the bone marrow, which has almost become his nature and cannot be changed.

Before leaving, he went to bid farewell to Jiang Yuzhao as promised, and the other party seemed not surprised that he would make a decision at this time.He appeared at 08:30 in the morning. Jiang Yuzhao was standing downstairs with sleepy eyes and saw Qu Zhe's pale face. He made up his mind: "Where do you want to go, I will accompany you."

Qu Zhe shook his head: "I don't know where to go..."

"I'll accompany you wherever you go!" Jiang Yuzhao said fiercely, "At least if you leave Shen Yizhuo, I'll accompany you, just in case you fall in love with me."

"but I……"

"I know, I know you like him," Jiang Yuzhao sighed, "So what, I'll do what I say... I'll take you on a trip, or, for the sake of being good to you before, you Come travel with me."

He knew that Jiang Yuzhao wanted him to relax. It was best to forget about the pain and Shen Yizhuo.If people could control their own memory, Qu Zhe would probably choose to delete all the feelings of these years.He is a bit envious of those who have amnesia, at least for him, amnesia will be much happier than now.

Whether he wants to bid farewell, whether he wants to die or wait for death in a corner where no one cares about him, he hasn't decided yet.

"So where do you want to go?"

Seeing his stubborn expression, Qu Zhe suddenly felt that traveling might be a good decision: "...I want to go to Denver."

"...Do you speak English?"

"I know a little."

"Okay, then you stay at my house for two days first, and I'll make arrangements right away."

Qu Zhe threw away the phone, together with the SIM card.His luggage was very simple, except for some personal belongings and documents, there were only a few photos of Qu Xiaoyu, and one of them was taken from Qu Xiaoyu's student ID card.It was solemnly inserted in the wallet by Qu Zhe, and he would often look at it in a daze, thinking of things from his childhood.The money that she had saved for Qu Xiaoyu, but she never used it, ended up being returned to Qu Zhe's hands, like a kind of irony.

Jiang Yuzhao did what he said, and within a few days, he got on the plane to the United States with him and arranged everything, just waiting for the two of them to arrive in Denver.He could only tell from Jiang Yuzhao's phone calls with his family that he was arguing with his family, saying that he wanted to go out to relax or something.

In fact, for Qu Zhe, this place is very boring. Qu Zhe's so-called "knowledge" is just "hello" and "sorry".Jiang Yuzhao also doesn't speak English. Two hours after arriving in Denver, Jiang Yuzhao hired a translator to solve some of their basic problems and lead them to familiarize themselves for a while.They lived in a rented house, went out to wander around every day, and occasionally rented a car and drove to the South Peret River, chatting and chatting for an afternoon.

There is a beautiful American girl who strikes up a conversation with Jiang Yuzhao, and Qu Zhe will smile when he sees how he can't communicate with him smoothly even though he is dancing.At this time, Jiang Yuzhao could only shake his head, and finally said to the girl, "I'mgay. that's myboyfriend!", and then pointed to Qu Zhe who was standing aside.

Qu Zhe couldn't argue, he could only smile helplessly.

They searched for authentic Chinese restaurants according to the results from Google, and they were really tired of eating Western food every day; they drove to the mountains at night for a drive, and returned at dawn.

As it is written in that poem:

"They drove 72 hours straight across the fields to see if it was you or me or he found beauty, they were looking for eternity,

"They traveled to Denver, they died in Denver, they came back to Denver and waited in vain, they watched Denver brooding and lonely in Denver, and finally went away to find time, and now Denver is lonely because it lost its hero,"

This boring and rambling trip makes people very relaxed, but Qu Zhe always thinks of the night talk that night.

He foolishly asked Shen Yizhuo if he wanted to go to Denver, and the other party said, "Where is the thing you are looking for, you should go there."

He didn't quite understand it then, but one day in Denver, he suddenly understood.

"Qu Zhe, what brand do you want to smoke!" Jiang Yuzhao shouted at him standing at the door of 711.

Qu Zhe was sitting in the car, probably he forgot, so he had to get out of the car and walk over by himself: "...I'll buy it myself."

"Oh..." Jiang Yuzhao's tone was not very good, "I don't know English and I don't know how to smoke, so you can buy it yourself in the future."

"Okay." Qu Zhe said with a smile.

The two of them walked into 711. There were various cigarettes on display behind the cash register. Qu Zhe hesitated for a moment, and bought a pack of Seven Stars and a pack of Lucky.

But later, Shen Yizhuo smoked Marlboro.

Which one is he more attached to, Qu Zhe doesn't know.

"...Why do you buy so much?"

"This way you won't have to buy cigarettes tomorrow."

"...what's for dinner tonight?"

"What do you want to eat?"

"I want to eat instant noodles."

"...Then go buy it, buy it and cook it at home."

"Can you fry eggs?" Jiang Yuzhao asked eagerly, "I also want to eat a poached egg."

"……it is good."

Both he and Jiang Yuzhao found great satisfaction in doing nothing.Most people have been running around and pursuing all their lives. They were busy growing up when they were young, and they were busy learning all kinds of knowledge when they were older, and then they started running or worrying about making a living. Never stopped.Even when traveling, it is necessary to arrange the daily itinerary carefully. If you do not appreciate all the cultural scenery in the limited time, it will be like a mission failure.

Like them probably can not be called travel.

Qu Zhe felt that he had stolen some time and stopped quietly.

The two watched the TV that they didn't understand, and sat at the small table eating instant noodles. Jiang Yuzhao answered the phone halfway, and after hanging up, he sighed and said, "Hey, time flies so fast."

"Urging you to go home?"

"Yeah..." Jiang Yuzhao nodded, "Where are you going to be when you go back? I'll arrange it for you."

Qu Zhe smiled: "It's not like I can't live alone."

"Then you must tell me where you are going?"

"I think..." Qu Zhe tilted his head and thought for a while, took out a cigarette and smoked it, as if he really didn't start thinking about it until now, and said after a long time, "I want to go to the beach."

"...There are so many seas, which sea do you want to go to?"

"Anything will do."

After returning to China, Jiang Yuzhao accompanied him to a remote city that was not considered a scenic spot. As Qu Zhe expected, there was an endless sea.Jiang Yuzhao finally felt relieved after watching him settle down. He couldn't stay with Qu Zhe forever, at least not as a friend. He had to go back, deal with his father, and continue his life.

Before leaving, Jiang Yuzhao asked suddenly: "Then what...do you still not like me?"

Qu Zhe was apologetic and helpless: "...you are my best friend."

"Okay, call me if you need something." Jiang Yuzhao said, "I won't change the number."

"it is good."

Then he got a job in a seaside tavern and got on well with the people around him.Occasionally I go out to sea with fishermen, and occasionally chat and drink with them on the beach and watch the sunset.During the New Year's Eve, he would call Jiang Yuzhao to say hello, and Jiang Yuzhao would come over if he had the time, so he had to sneak in for a few days.No one mentioned Shen Yizhuo, nor would he recall the past with melancholy, only greetings from friends.

He is no longer submissive, and he no longer treats others with a mask of gentleness but indifference.

He just lives comfortably, without worries, and waits to die.