loop back

It was past ten o'clock when I woke up, and the sound of singing birds and the fragrance of flowers gradually came from outside.

I moved my arm, a little numb.Because there are lovely people on it.

I smiled, tormenting him all night last night, he was still sleeping, as if he was still in a deep sleep, his two chubby little cheeks were blushing.

It was so cute, I bowed my head and kissed him.

Carefully freeing my arms, I got up, got dressed, and made breakfast.

The doorbell rang suddenly, and I went to open the door.

"Mr. Xu, I got the key."

It was my assistant. I took the key and real estate certificate, and sent the assistant away with satisfaction.

I turned around and went to the bedroom. We slept here last night. We walked the road from the gate of the courtyard to Wen Tong's bedroom thousands of times, and we could find the right one with our eyes closed.

Wen Tong was still sleeping, I let go of the cold air on my body, and went to bed again to hug him, unexpectedly woke him up suddenly.

I kissed him again while his eyes were dazed.

Now he was completely awake, and looked at me with wide eyes.

I shook the key in my hand at him.

"Good morning".

-

He probably remembered what happened last night, and he lingered on the bed for a long time before coming out to finish dinner.

The blush on his face deepened even more.

It's not easy for me to tease him anymore, and I'll serve him food seriously.

"Wen Tong, have you kept the key?"

Liao Wentong was in a daze, eating the dishes I cooked for him.

"Well, Hanyu...thank you."

"It's okay..." I paused, "I said, I want to make it up to you."

I feel sad when I say it, how can I pay back what I owe him.

"Later, I will take you to a place."

-

After eating, I picked up my coat and wrapped Liao Wentong up, and went out for a drive.

I took Liao Wentong to his cafe, which was closed, but there was no rental advertisement posted outside.

Because, ah, I plan to buy this place.

I looked at Liao Wentong with a smile, in exchange for his puzzled expression, I put it away a little, later realizing that the expression just now might be too malicious.

I didn't take him into the store, but took him directly to the grass behind.

I don't know why, but he has liked Gypsophila since he was a child, and he has always liked this thing like a paranoid in junior high school, high school, and university.

When I was a child, I spent a few years in literature and art, and I was interested in this, because its name and flower language are very beautiful.Later, the things I wanted to learn gradually increased, and some things were forgotten.

Walking here again with Liao Wentong, he felt indescribably comfortable, he was very happy, pulling weeds and playing with every gypsophila passing by.

I just followed behind him, feeling like I was bringing a child.

I don't know where I read it before, if you like someone, if you love someone, you have to make him feel that he will become a child when he is with you.

To love someone, you have to love to make him feel like a child by your side.

I thought about it, this sentence is really sweet.

I brought a camera, which I bought for Wen Tong. Both Wen Tong and I learned some photography when we were in college, so I flipped through a lot of photos in it.

I was a little surprised that it was all me.

After reacting, I felt that my whole body was filled with honey bubbles.

I fiddled with it, adjusted the light, and called out Liao Wentong's name behind him.

"Wen Tong."

Then I photographed the scene where he turned his head back, he was smiling happily, with a wreath on his head that he made at some time, gentle and beautiful.

-

God always gives us many tests, some good and some bad.

Although we do not get the favor of God, even though the tests he gives us are accompanied by heart-piercing pain.

But fortunately, you stayed by my side in the end.

Wen Tong, we have passed all the tests given by God, and we have walked this road together in love.

Will the road ahead be smooth and smooth?

"Wen Tong, I'll take you to a place today."

What Yang Ling said was right, Wen Tong had already started to experience severe drowsiness symptoms.

I took him home yesterday afternoon, but it was only three or four o'clock, and he has been sleeping until now. I couldn't wake him up for dinner last night.

I guarded him all night, and I called Yang Ling before dawn, and Yang Ling said, whether I want to or not, I have to take Wen Tong to see him.

No matter whether Wen Tong is willing or not, no matter whether there will be any grievances in him again.

None of this is as important as his health.

Depression is also a disease with a very high mortality rate.

I didn't dare to delay too much, I woke Wen Tong up while he was still sleeping, fed him some hot milk, and was afraid that drinking milk on an empty stomach would make his stomach upset, so I let him eat an egg.

He was led out of the house by me in a daze, and asked me several times on the way what was wrong and where he was going.

I hesitated, the car stopped at a red light intersection,

"Wen Tong, I have to take you to see a doctor."

"doctor?"

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for his question.

"Wen Tong, how did you get the wound on your wrist?"

Sure enough, when he heard this sentence, he immediately lowered his head, as if he understood what I meant.When I thought he wouldn't tell me, he opened his mouth slowly.

"... Something happened, I kind of forgot it... It's uncomfortable... The mood seems to go up and down. There is nothing sharp enough to cut the skin in the prison, so I put my wrist on the edge of the bed and rub it..." Wen Tong Paused, then continued.

"In the end, because of this... the sentence was reduced for more than half a year..."

I didn't intend to touch his most hurtful place, just as if those things happened with me, but that is my deepest pain.

"Hanyu, I know I may have some mental problems, I'll go to the doctor with you..."

I frowned deeply and picked up the speed of the car.

-

"You wait outside."

After Yang Ling said this, he took Wen Tong to his office. I was restless outside, not because I couldn't trust Yang Ling.

I'm just worried about the outcome...

-

It wasn't until almost noon that Wen Tong came out. I jumped up like a rabbit to meet him. He came out with a smile. Before I could express my worries, he came to comfort me first: "I'm fine, Yang Ling called You go in."

"Yang Ling..."

"Don't worry, the situation is optimistic."

This sentence made my heart hanging on the mountain drop a little bit.

"He has been ill for several years..."

I quietly waited for Yang Ling to finish, "Fortunately, he hasn't met you these few years, so the disease won't be worse. What's more optimistic is that he no longer has the idea of ​​self-harm and suicide."

I breathed a sigh of relief. What Yang Ling told me on the phone about the mortality rate of depression shocked me more than a jump.

"The bad thing is..."

"what……"

I leaned forward from the seat for a few minutes, but Yang Ling couldn't speak fluently now, and I started to panic. He saw that I was anxious, so he stopped talking.

"He started to return to the original state of depression... from lethargy and depressed mood..."

I slumped back into my chair again.

"what to do……"

I don't know if I'm asking Yang Ling or myself when I say what to do, but it's obvious that either side is my pain.

Seeing my state, Yang Ling sat up straight and became serious.

"Two ways. First, drug treatment. I don't quite support it. Although this method has a short treatment time and strong therapeutic effect, the side effects of drugs are too great. Second, environmental treatment."

I looked at Yang Ling, and he continued.

"It's just what I told you a few days ago, take him to relax, keep him in a good mood at all times, let him know the beauty of this world... But I have to change one thing, you can't always make him believe in you, you should learn Believe him."

I frowned, Yang Ling said angrily.

"I don't mean to ask what's going on between you guys, but that's what my profession calls for. There's a perpetual problem between you guys, you think you hurt him with your attitude over the years, so you've been showing how much you deserved Let him trust you, and Liao Wentong has been working hard to choose to trust you, so it looks harmonious, beautiful and natural on the surface." Yang Ling circled around and walked in front of me.

"The problem is that Liao Wentong is passively trusting you... In other words, Liao Wentong is forcing himself to rely on you. The gap between you has not been resolved after all..."

"Don't make him like this anymore, he's living a little too lowly. This is the way it should be."

"You should be in the opposite state now. You should trust him and let him know that you trust him."

-

That's right, how could I fail to understand such a simple truth at that time, and I needed someone else to point me to it.

I had to learn to trust him first.

It's just the ghost of time, how can it be cheap to people, how can it be cheap to us, and how can it give us time to repent and react.

It pulls us to run forward without stopping for a moment, abruptly breaks our heads that we want to look back, and does not give us any room to breathe.

It's night.

Liao Wentong is already asleep, even though I don't want him to be asleep now, I would rather he talk to me all night long without me, and talk to me about his little things in the past few years without me, from the goosebumps that happened every day start talking.In this way, we can spend the day safely and soundly.

Although this is not good for his health.

There is no moon tonight, but the night light is bright. I use this light to look carefully at Liao Wentong. Although this person's appearance is as familiar as the Tang poems we memorized together when we were young, he is more beautiful than poems.

You have done so much for me and suffered so much grievance.

I really... have wronged you.

If it's possible...ah no, it's definitely possible.

I must use the rest of the rest of my life to compensate you unparalleled.

-

After a sleepless night, Fang Liang was a genius, so I woke Wen Tong up.

It took me a long time to wake him up, and he pressed a stone on my chest in an unconscious manner, and it hurt for a moment.

I became cruel and took some cold water to wash his face.

It was only four o'clock.

"Hanyu, I'm so sleepy..."

The cold water played a role, so it wouldn't make Wen Tong look so dull.

"Let's go watch the sunrise, shall we?"

Okay, let's watch the sunrise, see how the sun rises, and see what it looked like when it first entered this world.

-

The seaside in autumn is very cold. Fortunately, I wrapped Liao Wentong up a few more layers. It is six o'clock and there is no one on the beach. I took Liao Wentong to find a place with flat sand and sat down quietly, waiting for the sun to come out.

After a night's ebb, the tide stopped at its lowest point.At this moment, it is rising little by little with the white belly of the sky.

The waves rushed towards us one after another, and before they touched us, they couldn't stay away from us.

Liao Wentong fell asleep leaning on my shoulder, my tears fell from my eyes at some point, I called Wen Tong's name softly and slowly.

Liao Wentong... Liao Wentong...

But I repeated it dozens of times, but Wen Tong didn't reply me.

The fish-belly white began to be pushed up by the golden light from the other side of the sea until it turned gray-blue.

I buried my face on my shoulders, soaked my clothes with tears, and sniffed, shaking Liao Wentong awake.

"..."

He struggled to open his eyes, but there was still nothing inside.

"Wen Tong, the sun is out..."

When the sun comes out, my Liao Wentong is still my Liao Wentong.Eyes, ears, mouth, and just his breathing while sleeping next to my ears...all are my Liao Wentong.

For the rest of my life, I will not let your eyes be dull.

I will let the sun rise in your eyes every day.

What depression, what lethargy, what has nothing to do with our happiness.I will build castles and keep them all outside the walls.

Wen Tong, stay with me from beginning to end.

I pulled up his right hand without a ring, and childishly reached for him with my little finger.

That pulls the hook.

You have to stay by my side forever.

-

"Don't you have to go to work?"

After watching the sunrise, I took Liao Wentong to have breakfast at a small restaurant by the sea, but he didn't eat much, which made me very unhappy.

I wipe his mouth.

"Recently, I've been free, to accompany you..."

He seemed to understand and didn't argue with me any more.

"Are you still sleepy?"

"Not sleepy anymore."

"Are you full?"

"Ah."

"But you eat very little."

"..."

Forget it, I saw his dazed and aggrieved look on his face, and I couldn't bear to force him any more.

-

"Wen Tong, where do you want to go?"

On the way home, Wen Tong didn't sleep anymore, which gave me a little peace of mind.

"what?"

He was very focused on looking at the things he passed along the way just now, and he was taken aback when he heard my question.

"I'll take you out to relax, where do you want to go, domestic or foreign, maybe we can get the marriage certificate when we go abroad..."

His ears turned red from the word marriage certificate, and he immediately lowered his little head.

"All...all can..."

The haze of the early morning had all subsided, and I took him to pack his luggage as soon as we got home.

We didn't decide where to go until we got to the airport.

Where should I go? I don't care. As long as I'm with the person I love, I can go anywhere.

-

I asked about the nearest domestic flight, so I took Liao Wentong here, because I can't get a visa in the short term, so I can only stay in China.

But after I came here, I thought it was pretty good. Who said that the scenery abroad is picturesque, but the scenery in every place in China is not inferior to that in foreign countries.

There are mountains and seas in this place, and the sky is also blue. There is no urban smog and exhaust, and the air here is fresh.

But it's a small place, there's not much to see except for the view.

I booked a hotel, and the sea is right outside the balcony. Whenever I sit on the bed, I can hear the sound of the waves moving forward or receding.

However, Liao Wentong fell asleep again.

I smiled helplessly, maybe it was because of lethargy this time, he was really tired.

I just had a phone call with Yang Ling, and Yang Ling said that if it is serious, he needs to be treated with medicine, but I refused.Drugs are dependent, and I don't want Liao Wentong to rely on drugs to maintain his good mood.

It's just Wen Tong, if the environmental treatment doesn't work, I will put this shackle on you.

Just as I was thinking about it, Wen Tong woke up. He has been awake for a long time recently, and I waited for him to react in a daze.

It's night now, I took him outside, the place is simple and folk, the name of the hotel is taken from the inn, there is a whole street full of inns, and I don't mind competing with each other for business.

There are many delicious and interesting things on this street, stalls, street singers, and ethnic minorities walking in old embroidered robes.

I took Liao Wentong to eat junk food again.

But the skewers here are really good, and there are local special snacks.

But Liao Wentong didn't eat much, for some reason, his complexion was not good, a little pale.

I started to worry, but before I could say the words of worry, Liao Wentong looked up at me with an expression of nothing.

"Hanyu, can you find me a cup of hot water?"

-

After drinking some hot water in the small noodle shop, Liao Wentong's complexion looked much better. I only thought he was thirsty, so I ordered a bowl of noodles for him, and he ate some slowly.

"Wen Tong, do you feel better?"

He swallowed the noodles in his mouth.

"Hanyu, you don't have to worry about me, as long as I'm with you, everything else doesn't matter..."

At that time, I thought he was talking about what happened to me.

I held his hand like he was mine forever and ever.

The lights of this city came on early, so Liao Wentong and I strolled on this street, holding hands.

Walking in front of a singer and listening to him sing a song is nothing more than that.

Liao Wentong suddenly broke away from my hand, walked to the little singer, and talked to him a few words. I was still surprised, but the person in front of the standing wheat was changed, and it was my person.

As I watched him, he began to sing softly.

-

love yourself and someone will love you

this optimistic statement

The happy look makes me feel so real

no adjective found

Silence is covering up the passion that is about to overflow

only particle

There is a sense of steadfastness when you call my name

The position of the fallen leaves composes a poem

Time is passing and our story begins

This is the first time

Show me that love can be generous and selfish

you are my keyword

I'm not sure about the best way to love

is a verb or noun

I really want to tell you my best feelings

but forget the words

There are always times of gathering and parting, sometimes crying and laughing

i'm not afraid of subtext

There is a kind of steadfastness that you have my name in your heart

The position of the fallen leaves composes a poem

Time is passing and our story begins

This is the first time

Show me that love can be generous and selfish

you are my keyword

you hide in the meaning of the lyrics

is a proper noun

The position of the fallen leaves composes a poem

Our story is just beginning

This is the first time

Loving someone so generously and selfishly

you are my keyword

【Keywords of JJ Lin】

To the end of the song, he kept looking at me and sang it to the end, and then he spoke in a very small voice, maybe no one else could hear or understand, and everyone around him applauded.

He said, "Xu Hanyu, I love you."

I gave him a big smile, though I don't know if the tears in my eyes affected it.

Well, I love you too.

-

When I didn't get to our room, I had him tangled up with me as soon as I dodged the front desk.

When I got to the door of the room, I was so anxious that I couldn't even align the room card.

He pushed me away, blushing like blood, and aimed the room card at the sensor.

As soon as the door opened, I hugged him again, but he broke away, unable to lift my head in my arms.

I bumped his nose.

"Why, you were not shy with so many people just now, but now you are so shy with just the two of us..."

I continued to kiss him, "It's not that I haven't done it..."

-

The next day I dragged Liao Wentong up early again, and first went to the beach here to watch the sunrise. Except for the color change of the sky, it was really no different from what we saw a few days ago.

After watching the sunrise, I took Liao Wentong to visit a museum here that I finally found. It is all about the history and customs of the ethnic minorities here.

But Liao Wentong didn't feel sleepy, and his physical strength is not bad. Because I was worried about today's schedule, I missed him a few times last night. Now it seems that I will make up for these few times in the future.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Now we are in an ancient temple near the museum. There is a pagoda behind the ancient temple. We are lining up signs for praying for blessings.

I looked at Liao Wentong with a smile.

Of course he didn't know what lewd thoughts were contained in this smile.

-

The big tree with the blessing card is on a big slope. It is not the peak tourist season and there are very few people.

There is a piece of red silk on the tree, and the staff here gave us a pen, which is to write blessing wishes on the sign.

I took the pen and started to write carelessly, and even read out: "I hope Xiaotong is safe and healthy, Liao Wentong! I love you."

Liao Wentong finished writing earlier than me, and tapped the back of my head with a pen, "Idiot, why read it out, what if it doesn't work."

I smiled, "No, it will definitely be useful, what did you write, Xiaotong?"

I hung up mine and turned to look at his.

But he covered me and didn't let me see it, "You can't see it, it's useless to see it."

I looked at his pursed mouth, shrunk his mouth and looked away, then turned my head abruptly, and found that the man was still covering his mouth tightly, looking at me as if he was watching a joke.

"Forget it, forget it, don't watch it."

-

The setting sun began to set, and the white pagoda seemed a little shorter under the setting sun.

Wen Tong and I are resting on the bench

"Wen Tong, let's go to that tower and have a look."

After speaking, I found that the little person next to me had fallen asleep leaning against me.

I hugged him, downhill, back to the hotel.

Then next time, next time, we must climb this tower.

-

It's just that I didn't understand anything at that time.

What you should understand, don't say to your loved one: tomorrow, next time, next year...

Don't promise in the future what you want to do with your loved one.

Cherish the present.

Who knows.

The future is a restless thing, unpredictable and uncertain.

When it is safe and smooth, we have already embarked on the invisible separation.