sleep in your heart

You Zeyi finally began to realize that in this world, as sung in a certain song, not what you hug will hug you.

From childhood to adulthood, he tried his best to live every day, but he never got what he wanted.

In the beginning, he wanted a quiet and steady home, and wanted a father who didn't always get drunk and quarrel with his mother, but failed.

Later, he wanted the health of the only mother he could rely on, but she left forever.

Later, he just wanted to safely pass the hard-won senior year of high school, redouble his efforts to catch up with others, and take the exam to a university that could be worthy of his family.

It's just such an ordinary wish, but someone always comes to break his stable life.

When You Zeyi found an open condom in his desk hall for the third time, his emotions finally broke down.

Since the forum incident broke out, he has been trying to make himself as small as possible. He shrank back into his own world, and even began to deliberately keep a distance from Zheng Zhidu.

Originally, the relationship between the two was a little delicate, but in this way, they became completely "strangers sitting next to them". A few times when Zheng Zhi talked to him, he was actually very happy in his heart, but he thought that he might not be able to get close to him at his intimate meeting. If you cause trouble for the other party, immediately restrain your smile, and only respond with nodding and shaking your head.

It's not that he didn't see the puzzlement and helplessness in Zheng Zhi's eyes, but in his opinion, this is the best way for them to get along at present.

You Zeyi is really scared, he has nothing to lose, as long as he survives this year, as long as he sends the university admission letter to his mother, it doesn't matter what his life will be like in the future.

But Zheng Zhi is different, Zheng Zhi still has a long way to go.

He stared at the transparent condom that was stuffed with cotton and felt sick, as if thousands of reptiles were rushing towards him, and it was as if a greasy hand touched him from head to toe.

You Zeyi threw the thing into the desk hall violently, and then kicked the desk hard. The desk was kicked to the side by his kick. Zheng Zhi, who had just sat down and didn't notice what happened, was frightened Jumping, he turned to look at him.

You Ze gritted his teeth desperately, his eyes were red, he stood up "teng" and ran out.

He didn't know who did it, and didn't want to know.

What can I do if I know?fight?He didn't have that guts, and all his cowardice was to keep his family from causing trouble.

Therefore, we can only endure.

When he was running outside, he suddenly became curious. He wondered how long and to what extent he could bear it.

At 15:[-] in the morning, [-] minutes before the start of morning self-study, all the students were walking towards the teaching building, except You Zeyi, who rushed out.

He ran to the door of the teaching building and looked around panting heavily.

He is a deserter, and escaped from the most terrifying battlefield, but after escaping, he was at a loss, not knowing where he should go.

For a moment, he felt that all the people who flocked to the teaching building had seen through him, each of them cursed him as a disgusting homosexual in their hearts, everyone was looking at him and sneered, thinking that he was extremely obscene and extremely sinful.

He really wants to tell these people loudly that he is not that bad, and he also wants to tell these people that homosexuality is not a heinous thing. The most disgusting and most deserving of punishment are not homosexuals, but those who treat sexual minorities with malice people.

But he opened his mouth, but couldn't say a word.

Zhou Tong came from the direction of the cafeteria with the buns in his hands, and was a little surprised when he saw You Zeyi standing there stupidly: "What are you doing?"

As soon as You Ze heard his voice, he turned his head to look over, and then ran in the opposite direction the next second.

"...What's the situation?" Zhou Tong was puzzled.

He started to walk into the building again, Zhou Tong almost bumped into someone, he hurriedly protected the steamed stuffed bun that he almost dropped, still in shock, when he saw it was Zheng Zhi.

"What are you guys doing this early in the morning?" Zhou Tong asked, "Why? Skipping class?"

"Have you seen You Zeyi?"

Zhou Tong subconsciously looked at the direction in which You Zeyi ran away, and before he could speak, Zheng Zhi had already chased him out.

"...What's the matter?" Zhou Tong returned to the classroom with a confused mind, and when he saw the condom that fell under You Ze's stool, he finally understood why the two of them did what they did just now.

"Fuck," Zhou Tong threw the steamed stuffed bun on the table, "Who the hell has provoked You Zeyi again?"

The students in the class had almost arrived, and the classroom was noisy, but Zhou Tong immediately quieted down when he yelled.

In Class 13, Zhou Tong is not only good at studying and popular, but he is also the one who likes to cause trouble the most in the class. Every time he fights with other classes, he is indispensable. This kid is ruthless and is not afraid of anything. How many dare to really provoke him.

"I'm fucking asking questions!" Zhou Tong was really in a hurry. These days You Zeyi lived like a wandering ghost. In order to support his brother, he tried his best to be with You Zeyi all the time, but the other party always Be cautious.

Regarding homosexuality, You Zeyi didn't explain anything, and Zhou Tong didn't ask, because he thought it was unnecessary.

It is impossible for him to alienate his good friend because of his sexual orientation. On the contrary, he thinks that even if You Zeyi really likes the same sex, that's okay, he has to protect his brother.

In the class, everyone could see that the two of them had a good relationship, but in the end, this kind of thing happened again and again, which was tantamount to slapping Zhou Tong in the face.

"Nobody recognizes it, right?" Zhou Tong bent down and picked up the cotton-stuffed condom before his eyes, "Don't let me know who did it, or we'll never end."

When Zheng Zhi found You Zeyi, that guy was sitting by the small flower bed behind the teaching building in a daze.

There used to be a door here, but it was locked later, no one left all year round, and few people came here.

Seeing him, Zheng Zhi finally breathed a sigh of relief, collected himself, and walked over.

You Zeyi sat by the flower bed, lowered his head, his mind was about to explode, his heart was full of resentment, but he didn't know who to resent.

Do you hate yourself?After all, he broke away from the group of most people and fell in love with someone of the same sex.

Resent others?In the final analysis, liking the same sex is not wrong, those who discriminate against him and bully him are at fault.

He was torn apart by various thoughts, and then he saw a pair of white canvas shoes appearing in front of his eyes.

He raised his head and saw the face that he liked so much but didn't even dare to think about it.

"Running so fast, I almost didn't catch up." Zheng Zhi looked down at him, and the two were relatively silent for a while, then Zheng Zhi raised his hand and placed his palm on the top of You Zeyi's head, "Have you heard a sentence?" In other words, whatever does not kill us will make us strong."

You Zeyi felt the warmth of Zheng Zhi's palm, spreading from the top of his head all the way to his whole body.Zheng Zhi's words made him feel sour, and he wasn't sure if he would be knocked down.

Zheng Zhi withdrew his hand, and You Zeyi looked at him in surprise and reluctance.

"Do you feel wronged?" Zheng Zhi sat beside You Zeyi, "If I were you, I might not be able to bear it long ago."

You Zeyi didn't say a word, and didn't dare to blink his eyes, he was afraid that tears would fall out if he blinked, which would be too embarrassing.

How can a man cry casually?

"You are not wrong at all, you must firmly believe in this." Zheng Zhi lowered his head and stared at You Zeyi's hand beside his body. The skin is very white, the fingers are very thin, and the blue blood vessels are clearly visible. You don't need to touch it to know Must be cold, "Can I ask you a question?"

You Zeyi hesitated, and looked at Zheng Zhi.

"Do you really like...boys?"

You Zeyi didn't expect Zheng Zhi to ask this question, and he didn't know how to answer for a while.

He wanted to say that he didn't know, that he just liked the boy in front of him.

But the reason is still there, and the mouth is tightly closed.

Zheng Zhi also looked at him, they saw each other's figure in their eyes, a dragonfly flew over, stayed on You Ze's shoulder for a short second, and then flew away again.

Zheng Zhi moved, his hand touched You Zeyi's fingertips whether it was intentional or not.

Sure enough, as he expected, the cold hit his heart.

Zheng Zhi frowned, as if he had been bewitched, he involuntarily held that cold hand.

You Ze didn't dare to move, his fingers were together, let the person in front of him hold it, the warmth of the other's palm spread all over his body in an instant, he felt like a dying person, and Zheng Zhi was the miracle doctor who rejuvenated his hands.

The class bell rang, and You Zeyi finally woke up from his sleepwalking state.

He quickly withdrew his hand and stood up.

"Class is over." As soon as he opened his mouth, his heart seemed to jump out of his mouth. You Ze immediately pressed his lips together after speaking, and then turned to leave.

After a few steps, Zheng Zhi caught up with him, quickly walked around in front of him, grabbed his slender wrist with one hand, and pressed his shoulder with the other.

Then there was a sudden kiss, just like the dragonfly just now, it landed lightly, but it stirred the hearts of the two of them.

The cool autumn morning wind enveloped the two boys, trying to blow out the flames that were about to start a prairie fire in their bodies, but it was in vain.

You Ze stood there in a daze, his mind went blank, until Zheng Zhi let go of him, and another gust of wind blew over, he still couldn't recover from the shock.

Zheng Zhi's originally warm hands were now cold with cold fingertips. He was impulsive, but it was not just impulsive. If it were someone else, he would not be able to do this.

You Zeyi's lips were still slightly open, Zheng Zhi looked at him for a while, and then suddenly smiled.

"Okay," Zheng Zhi took half a step forward, hugged him in his arms, patted You Zeyi's back lightly, and said softly, "I don't know how to help you, but, in the future, there will be those kind I am willing to suffer with you."

You Ze opened his eyes wide and looked at the empty front, Zheng Zhi's words drifted into his ears, circled around, and squeezed into his heart.

He was shaking, partly excited, partly worried.

He secretly licked his lips, trying to recall the taste of that kiss, but found nothing. He didn't even remember the outline and temperature of Zheng Zhi's lips.

That kiss was too shallow, so shallow that he began to wonder if Zheng Zhi really kissed her.

You Zeyi had enough "taste", gently pushed Zheng Zhi away, and said, "No need, I'm pretty good myself."