sleep in your heart

Between You Zeyi and Zheng Zhi, it is not a matter of reconciliation at all. The two have never had any conflicts, but they have spent a period of calming down with their own concerns.

Everyone knew in their hearts that they fell in love with the person sitting next to them. No one knew where and when this inexplicable and unprecedented feeling came from.

You Zeyi always thinks of the afternoon when he was sitting in the study room overlooking the basketball court not long after school started, and Zheng Zhi can always think of the moment he saw You Zeyi when he turned around in the library.

Probably the relationship started to germinate at those two nodes, or it may be earlier or later, but that is not important. The important thing is that the time is wrong, and the candidate is also open to discussion.

Homosexuality has never been a disease, it is not an unspeakable evil, but living in such a big environment, everyone is trying to integrate into society as much as possible, and does not want to be a different person in this respect.

I thought that after the past two or three months, the impulsive impulse of young people would be diluted, and after calming down, the relationship would disappear, but neither of them thought that this unspeakable liking not only did not disappear, Even worse.

Hearing Zhou Tong's random use of words, saying that he was the "matchmaker" between the two of them, You Zeyi and Zheng Zhi were embarrassed, glanced at each other, and immediately looked away.

"...You two are fine, you are all like little daughters-in-law, what's the matter, if there is something unhappy in your heart, just say it out, it's non-toxic."

The two people sitting side by side in the back didn't speak, Zheng Zhi raised his hand, pushed Zhou Tong's face and turned them away: "Don't make noise, you are too annoying."

Zheng Zhi spoke, proving that this person is fine, Zhou Tong smiled, and sat in the co-pilot obediently, not turning around to trouble them again.

The taxi space is small, the weather is cold, and the windows are closed.

As soon as You Ze sat next to Zheng Zhi, he always felt as if he could hear the breathing of the other party. He knew it was just an illusion, they were not so close, but it had been a long time since they came out together, and his own heartbeat had already accelerated. For fear of being discovered by the other party.

The taxi drove towards the hot pot restaurant that Zheng Zhi said. The speed of the car was fast and slow, but the young man's heartbeat kept beating at a frequency of 120 beats per minute.

The night covered the city, and the lights on the side of the road made the people and cars passing by seem a little warm and ambiguous. At a bend, You Zeyi uncontrollably leaned towards Zheng Zhi, and the other party gently held his shoulder , two people stuck together.

Going around the corner, You Ze sat down again, always feeling that the place Zheng Zhi touched seemed to be burnt.

During the meal, it was inevitable to talk about the girl who jumped off the building in the liberal arts class.

Zhou Tong said: "Actually, I really can't figure it out. There is less than half a year left, five months, just bear with it, and better days will come."

You Zeyi poked the dishes on his plate with his chopsticks, and frowned slightly.

"If you are not in a cage, you will not know the pain of a trapped animal," Zheng Zhi said. "Isn't there a saying that living people feel that suicide requires courage, and those who commit suicide feel that living requires courage. We are not her, and we cannot empathize with her."

"But I still don't think there's anything I can't get through. Look at Lao You, his mother..." Zhou Tong shut up immediately after saying this.

You Zeyi suddenly looked up at him, his eyes full of surprise.

Zheng Zhi also realized that something was wrong, and looked up at Zhou Tong.

"No, let's talk about the next topic."

Zhou Tong panicked, reached for a paper towel, but knocked over the cup at hand, and the carbonated drink spilled on the table, he jumped up, took out the paper to wipe his pants, cursed repeatedly in frustration, and finally said as if giving up: "Old You, Sorry, I didn't mean to mention this."

You Zeyi never knew that Zhou Tong knew about his family affairs, and he never mentioned it to anyone since he came to this school for half a year.

"How do you know?" You Ze asked expressionlessly.

Zhou Tong tidied up the mess in front of him, scratched his hair in frustration and said, "The head teacher said."

You Zeyi felt a chill in his heart, the secret he thought he had kept well, but in fact, everyone already knew about it, right?

"Old You, I haven't told anyone about this matter, and I'm the only one in my class who knows about it."

"Why did the head teacher tell you?" You Zeyi didn't even know that the head teacher knew everything about his family's situation, but he was right after thinking about it, he was his teacher, so of course he had to find out about a student he transferred.

After all, he was the one who was stupid.

Zhou Tong lowered his head, and suddenly felt that it was time to have a bottle of wine and light a cigarette, but they were still wearing school uniforms after all, so it was inappropriate to do such a thing.

"Not long after the start of school, the class teacher came to me once." Zhou Tong said, "She was actually kind. She was worried that you would not adapt to living and studying here, so she asked me to help take care of you."

You Zeyi didn't speak, just looked at him, Zheng Zhi who was next to him was still confused, he heard that You Ze's family was special, but what kind of special method it is, I don't know yet.

"You know me as a person. It's useless to do what you don't want to do, so I didn't want to do it at first. Everyone is the same age. To put it bluntly, they are all competitors in the examination room. Who will take care of whom? "Zhou Tong was extremely irritable, "But then the teacher told me about your family's situation, so I..."

"You think I'm pitiful?" You Zeyi still had no expression on his face, "Pity me?"

"No," Zhou Tong said, "You can't say that, I think you're awesome."

You Ze looked at him with a puzzled frown.

"Really, if I were you, I would have become a social scumbag by now."

Zheng Zhi heard the general idea, it is estimated that You Ze's family missed the college entrance examination because of some misfortune, and this matter is related to his mother.

Having said that, You Zeyi gave up struggling, he bowed his head and said: "No matter what, the living still have to live well to be worthy of the leaving."

You Zeyi's words were like a needle stuck in Zheng Zhi's ear, and then the pain spread from the ear all the way to the whole body.

The three of them didn't say anything more. After a long silence, Zhou Tong, who was in charge of activating the atmosphere, poured himself another glass of Coke, raised the glass and said, "Okay, let's not talk about those heavy things anymore, old You , I believe that with your strength, you will do well in the future!"

As soon as You Ze looked at him, through the mist of the hot pot, he felt that Zhou Tong's eyes seemed to be red.

Zheng Zhi also raised his glass and said, "Come on."

Come on, Zheng Zhi looked at You Zeyi next to him, and added in his heart, I will accompany you.

When the three of them came out of the hotpot restaurant, Zhou Tong suddenly asked, "Oh, by the way, do you know that Ning Lu has dropped out of school."

"Suspension from school?" You Zeyi suddenly remembered that he really didn't see Ning Lu for a while, the last time was in physical education class, and the other party asked him what he was thinking when he died.

"What's wrong with him?" Among them, You Zeyi is the closest to Ning Lu. Although Ning Lu likes Zhou Tong, Zhou Tong is too straight. Ning Lu is timid and often looks at him repeatedly. One glance at the other party makes the other party feel nervous. Logically speaking, You Zeyi should be the first one to know about Ning Lu's suspension of school.

"I don't know," Zhou Tong said, "I also heard from his classmates that after the girl committed suicide, Ning Lu didn't seem to be as talkative as before. What excitement."

You Zeyi was a little worried about Ning Lu. He remembered the time when he was bullied because of his sexual orientation, and how those people in his dormitory said about Ning Lu before that. Zhou's life in hell, Ning Lu may have endured much more than him.

In the past, You Zeyi didn't really regard Ning Lu as a good friend. He just thought that the boy was cute, soft and sticky, and was always bullied. He also felt that it might be profitable for him to get close to him, but after a long time, Ning Lu did nothing but take the opportunity to talk to Zhou Tong. He has a good personality and good looks, and You Zeyi liked Get along with him.

And, more importantly, You Ze knew that the self who secretly liked Zheng Zhi was actually the same as Ning Lu.

They are timid and weak, not daring to be enemies of the world, so they can only bury their youthful love that is different from ordinary people in their flesh and blood under the skin.

This is the same kind, so when You Ze heard Zhou Tong say that Ning Lu had dropped out of school, the first thing he thought of was, would someone bully him?

Zhou Tong and Zheng Zhi didn't continue to discuss the topic of Ning Lu, and You Ze didn't go deep into it for a while, and asked too many questions, afraid that these two people would think too much.

"Old Zheng, are you going home? Lao You and I will go back to school from here."

Zheng Zhi looked at You Zeyi, he actually had a lot of things to say in his heart, after all, the two hadn't had a good chat for so long, including the sudden kiss a few months ago, Zheng Zhi felt that it was necessary to explain.

But they didn't have a chance to be alone, Zhou Tong hugged You Zeyi around his neck, and got into the car going in the opposite direction to him.

Standing on the side of the road and watching the taxi leave, Zheng Zhi suddenly had a premonition. He seemed to see the scene where they went to different battlefields of life in a short time. From then on, they were separated from each other, slowly withdrawing from each other's world, and maybe they will meet again one day. Maybe five years later, maybe ten years later, or even 20 years.At that time, they stand in front of each other, but it is very likely that they will not be able to find traces of their eighteen or nineteen years old in each other. They can recognize each other, but they can't recognize each other.

Thinking of this, Zheng Zhi felt a little lost, he had never been such a person who worried about gains and losses until he met You Zeyi.

Zheng Zhi didn't take a taxi, and walked home slowly. Along the way, he thought about what You Zeyi said today, and guessed all the joys and sorrows that happened to him.

He remembered the first day when he walked into the classroom of class 13 of senior high school, he was sitting next to You Zeyi, that cowardly person looked like a nervous rabbit, cute and pitiful.

Recalling that time now, Zheng Zhicai suddenly realized that the incompatibility shown by You Zeyi at that time was related to his family. Because of some things he encountered, he began to drift away from the crowd, and because of some reasons, he and the people around him People seem a little clumsy and dull in comparison, but they are unwilling to be left behind.

It took You Zeyi half a year to go from the first 49th place to the current 18th place. Zheng Zhi could even imagine how You Zeyi sat in the study room and confronted those exercises during those anonymous nights.

This is the boy he likes, one year older than him, 7 centimeters shorter than him, has experienced many things more than him, and is much stronger than he imagined.

Zheng Zhi smiled, stretched his waist, and walked quickly towards home.