Light Snow to Beginning of Spring GL

Drowsy, the dream was very noisy, it seemed to be mixed with the voices of some people, but she didn't want to wake up, even a particularly bad dream seemed to be better than the turmoil in reality.At least the dream is still hers, and the outside world is not like that.

She has a reputation and capital that others may not be able to match in a lifetime. She is neither the poorest nor the ugliest, and her talent is beyond ordinary people. She has not experienced chaos, except for some waves.When she contracted such a disease, she couldn't tell, but she did have a unique ability, because her spirit was more abundant, so it was easier to perceive small pains.

He Xueyan is like a fish that has lost its motivation to move forward, staying quietly in the water, feeling exhausted even after swimming one more step.Bai Linyu knocked on the door and came in. She turned on the desk lamp in the dark, and carefully covered her eyes before turning on the light to avoid the light from hurting her.Her eyes were covered by her warm palms, and she heard Bai Linyu ask her: "How did you sleep?"

A shake of the head counts as an answer.Bai Linyu's fingers left her eyes, and she understood: "I'll get used to it, after all, you've just arrived." After a pause, she said: "I don't worry about Yan Fei, I came to see you, do you want to see me?"

He Xueyan's eyes showed concern, and she shook her head to show she didn't see her.

Bai Linyu said helplessly: "She is very persistent, she wants to know what you think."

He Xueyan is like a flower that has consumed too much vitality, staring at the ceiling in a daze with her eyes open, leaning on the bed for a while like a patient and slowly: "You let Yan Fei come over."

Bai Linyu looked at her thin face, her tired and defensive look made people feel distressed, and finally nodded in agreement.

Yan Fei and Wang Xudong sat on the sofa in the living room. The sofa was very narrow and seemed crowded. Wang Xudong couldn't believe it when he looked at the environment, and whispered to Yan Fei: "I thought Bai Chen's house was a big villa, and she just rented such a small one. The house, life is not rich."

Yan Fei has only heard that her family is of an extraordinary family, and there are rumors in the circle that she is the son of a high-ranking official, but she has not verified it. Even if it is true that her family background is average, it is not a big deal. Yan Fei doesn't care about this at all, she All he cared about was what happened to He Xueyan.

When Bai Linyu arrived in the living room, Yan Fei got up from the sofa. She was already very restrained. She knew that the more troubled this situation was, the worse it would be. The only way to solve the problem is to endure and figure out the situation. "Does Xueyan see me?" Yan Fei still couldn't hide her mood.

Nodding his head, Bai Linyu responded.

Wang Xudong gave Yan Fei a push: "Go and persuade my eldest wife, let's go home together after persuading her."

Yan Fei was in a better mood and went to the bedroom, yelled snowy words, knocked on the door very politely and got an answer before going in.

In the bedroom, He Xueyan was leaning against the head of the bed, her blue pajamas made her look more melancholy, her brows were slightly frowned, and her face was full of thoughts.Yan Fei walked over and sat beside her bed feeling very distressed: "You can tell me what's on your mind. Although you have become lovers with me, we have always been friends before. You can treat me like a friend again. Tell me everything."

He Xueyan hardly had any friends in her younger life. Firstly, she is sensitive and introverted by nature and would not take the initiative to greet people. Secondly, others think that she is not easy to serve and are too lazy to talk to her.There are also some people with bad intentions who want to make friends with her and use her for fame and fortune. She is afraid that she will avoid them and dare to make friends proactively.The only two friends who had the best relationship became her girlfriends again.

She probably almost forgot the time Yan Fei and she used to get along peacefully.He Xueyan looked at her face worriedly, Yan Fei still looked the same, her skin was as white as pears, her lips were bright red and moist, her brown eyes gleamed, her eyes were clear to the bottom, she has always been a smart and sincere person, Knowing how to measure and not being too sophisticated, He Xueyan's heart was as hot as coals, and He Xueyan was afraid that he would freeze the fire out.

"Xueyan, now I don't care who you choose, who you want to be with..." Yan Fei said what was in her heart, her eyes turned red when she was excited, this is her bad habit, she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and said : "To tell the truth, I never thought that you would fall in love with me, and even made you feel so wronged in the freshman year. I understand that you feel tired. I don't care whether you want me or not. I just hope You are all well."

He Xueyan breathed slowly, listened to her words quietly, and finally replied in a very small voice: "I'm sorry for you too."

"Xueyan?" Yan Fei didn't understand at all, and looked surprised: "Why are you apologizing to me?"

He Xueyan thought for a long time, and said with deep eyes, "I'm not in love."

"I don't think so." Yan Fei pulled her hand distressedly, He Xueyan didn't break free this time, and let her pull, but she didn't feel half happy, and said with a sad expression: "I don't know how to explain to you... ...I really want to tell you, but I don't want to say it at all. I don't want to go to work, I don't want to take care of my family anymore, I don't want to deal with others anymore, I just want to be alone. I don't hate you, Yan Fei, you know Is it? It's not your problem, it's that I can't find a proper way to get along with others, including you."

"Xueyan, didn't you do well before?" Even if Yan Fei understood her feelings, she was always unwilling: "I know you don't like dealing with people, but don't you also have friends like me and Xudong? It's a joy to be with you, don't you feel the camaraderie? We all like you."

He Xueyan shook her head, and said lightly, "That's different. Now I only feel safe by being alone." She really didn't want to hurt Yan Fei, but she was powerless and said, "Go back, if you continue to waste time, there will be no harm." In the end, I thank you for being with me for so long, but these can't restore my mood."

She appeared very helpless, but she refused to be rescued.Standing alone on a cold mountain, no one can reach out to help.Yan Fei hit a brick, making her dizzy.He Xueyan was like a stone, she couldn't bite her.

Yan Fei has some setbacks, but she is more willing to understand her: "Xueyan, I know you don't think this way for no reason. You must have encountered something you don't want to talk about. It doesn't matter. I am willing to wait for your mood to change. Some No matter how difficult things are, you can't overwhelm others, you just bear too much pressure and can't solve the problem by yourself for a while..." She said firmly, she squeezed He Xueyan's hand tightly, and said with warmth in her palm: "I believe in you It will definitely get better, and I will try my best to find out what happened to you. But there is one thing I want to tell you, even if you choose Bai Linyu and are willing to let her take care of you in the most difficult time, you must grit your teeth and persist After a while, if you go a little further, the problem may be solved, and it’s really not a good life to live in a house like this, at least I don’t think so.”

He Xueyan didn't know if she heard it or not, she subconsciously pulled her hand out of her hand, and answered her words: "Go back, I'm too tired to go any further." There was such a bright sunshine in her mind, but her heart was getting stronger and stronger. The colder and colder the day, the love and family relationship that she worked so hard to maintain are gradually fragmented, and the new relationship makes her suffer and bewildered, and the meaning of persistence makes her unable to understand.

"Xueyan, don't be so stubborn, okay?" Yan Fei is an emotional animal, and she was a little excited by her dying attitude. In her impression, He Xueyan was knowledgeable and gentle, but she was so soft and indifferent now that she didn't listen to advice.

He Xueyan had an unmoved and indifferent expression, and she still had the same attitude: "Everyone has their own way of life. I have worked hard, tried, endured, and continued to move forward as you said. I also I always thought that one day my mother would see me, my father would have a miracle, and my sister would know that I was wrong. I also thought that I could not care about Shen Suyu..."

"Xue Yan..." Yan Fei's eyes flickered, there was a thorn between them.

It was still a bit difficult to say, her heart was never easily revealed to others, which made her feel even more helpless, He Xueyan unknowingly blushed with tears in her eyes and said: "At that time, when I received your call, you said that she I need your care, I can't understand anymore. Although I know she is in trouble, I really need someone to help me. But there is none... Every time I need someone like this, it is always only me, then Why not just leave me alone in the first place...wouldn't it be much better?"

She finished speaking very slowly, and the tears slowly slipped down, slipping into the corners of her mouth little by little, leaving bitter trails on her thin and pale face.This seems to be a huge excuse to put an end to all care and love. She is really too bad, revealing clues of jealousy and resentment like an extremely immature person.

Yan Fei's hands trembled a little, she really wanted to hug her, but she still didn't open her arms, she bit her lips and said to her like a child: "I'm sorry." : "It's because I'm too selfish to ask you to endure this kind of thing. Xueyan, I'm sorry to cause you trouble..."

"You go, I want to stay here." He Xueyan insisted.

Yan Fei didn't seem to have anything to say. If it was caused by her, it would be really hard for her to recover: "You...do you still recognize our relationship? I mean..." Her heart trembled, feeling Sour: "Do you feel better when you're with Bai Linyu?"

He Xueyan can't answer this question, but it seems that this is the best choice so far.

In the silence, He Xueyan nodded with great difficulty.

Yan Fei sat on the edge of her bed in a daze for a while, just looked at her like that, as if looking at a photo she treasured, tears rolled down and said: "I see." Her tears fell violently, but somehow the corners of her mouth turned Laughed, showing the usual smile and said: "How can I be so arrogant, I think you have a miserable life, I can save your life in a pool of stagnant water. But I am also so bad, I have been a mistress for others, and I am entangled with others , I have no money and no hard work, I have been eating and waiting to die... It's so bad, there is no way to help you."

Her self-deprecating smile was accompanied by tears, as if she couldn't finish wiping the back of her hands, Yan Fei stood up, straightened her clothes, and didn't care about that at all: "I listen to you, I'll go back first. I know that staying any longer will only cause you more trouble, and I will return your money to you. After all, life is your own and you can’t rely on others.” After a pause, she told He Xueyan, “I used to be like you, thinking I have to rely on Sister Yu, and I still think that she has the ability to lead me to a happy life. But Sister Yu also wanted someone to take her to a higher level, so she went to get married. Your father didn't want to protect you, but suddenly Even if you fall down, you have to drag you down. Bai Linyu also said that she will take care of you. She may guarantee that she will be safe and free from illness and disaster for the rest of her life. If something happens to her, you will not be able to maintain your current state. He Xueyan, no one can rely on anyone , not all efforts are rewarded, the world has always been unfair, this is my own experience and lessons..."

She said with tears in her eyes, but said with longing: "But even so, I still hopelessly fall in love with someone again, not because I want to rely on her, but because I feel that I can trust her."

He Xueyan took a deep breath and looked at her sadly.

Yan Fei's smile was heartbreaking, and she said the last words: "Until now, I still believe in you, because when I met you, you were so nice that I could forget those unpleasant pasts. But if you become Now, I won’t be so sad for you that I can’t help myself. Maybe I will meet new people and fall in love again without hesitation. Teacher He, this is me. I am not afraid of hurt, and I will not rely on others to wait for others. I just want to be able Live better."

He Xueyan choked up and couldn't speak.

Yan Fei left crying, but He Xueyan failed.She suddenly felt that the little girl was too innocent and enthusiastic, and she was somewhat unworthy of her.

She was absent-minded for a while, and heard the man's voice in the living room making noise, vaguely it was Wang Xudong's distressed voice for Yan Fei, clamoring to take her out for a drink.Soon the voice calmed down, and the world was very quiet. Looking at the brightly lit night scene outside the bay window, she felt that she should be abandoned by the whole world.

She was never just a child who didn't know how to love others and was not worthy of being loved by others.Clumsy, stubborn, and tiresome.

The door was opened by Bai Linyu. Her tall and thin figure made her look more bookish, and her expression was as calm and self-possessed as ever. She called He Xueyan's name, poured her a cup of hot water, and took care of her to drink some.

The warm water warmed her stomach, and there were still tears on He Xueyan's face. Bai Linyu wiped it for her with distress, reached out and hugged her tightly, and whispered in her ear: "Don't be sad... I know it must be difficult, Thank you for choosing me."

He Xueyan lay in her arms and did not speak.

"It's okay, I know you're afraid of hurting her, so let her go..." Bai Linyu knew her too well, and whispered to the person in her arms: "Xueyan, it really doesn't matter if you hurt me, no matter what, I As long as you are by my side, I will give you the peace you need."

She suddenly thought of what Yan Fei said, if Bai Linyu disappeared and something happened, her world would collapse again.

Where is the eternal peace in this world?