Five Realms Traffic Safety Handbook

In the eyes of Fairy Jing Huan, the two rivals in love are like a pair of lovers: about the same height, about the same handsome, the same body, the same skin, and the same hair quality, it is really difficult for her to choose, she thinks: should I choose? Well, if they are both willing, why not work together?

However, she knew that this possibility was very small, because although the Tian family did not reject intercourse between men and women, it was still not allowed for one woman to have more than one man, because it would make it unclear what the child's surname would be, and her father would definitely not agree.Yan Er seems to have the ability to reproduce, Tao Hua wonders if he has?

Jing Huan was still sighing.If only she was barren like the other fairies, she'd have fun no matter what!But she is of the surname of Tian, ​​and there are few female fairies in this family, even fewer with strong reproductive ability. Unfortunately, Jing Huan is the best reproductive ability among the princesses of this generation, so she can't mess around .

In fact, she hasn't messed around so far.Except for these two men, she really hasn't had a crush on anyone in the past 6 years.I met Yan Er some time ago. Yan Er is beautiful, considerate and good at coaxing people. She also really has a crush on him, but Yan Er has not seen anyone since he left Tiangong for several months.I got to know Tao Hua in the past few days. Tao Hua is also very beautiful, funny and mature, and she is also very fond of her.Just now, she was so emotional that she almost did something to Tao Hua.Thinking about it now, she was in a cold sweat. If she really got pregnant, she would be in great trouble.

Tao Hua's body is a peach blossom essence. Could it be that she is pregnant and will give birth to a half-human, half-tree?After thinking about it, the lust was immediately quenched by cold water.One of the scariest things about fertile females in the Tian family is that they can reproduce offspring of any species.

Tao Hua looks good, but his body is really not that good.Fairy Jing Huan is caught in another round of struggle: If the opportunity comes, should I do anything to Tao Hua?

You can give Yan Er's words a try, anyway, he is born with an immortal body.

Alas, it's a pity that she is from the Netherworld, her father will definitely feel that her background is not good, not to mention she heard that her father and Yan Er have some festivals.

Why can't Tianjia find such a good-looking appearance?The male immortals of the Tian family are all full of immortality, which makes people have no desire to profane.

After Jing Huan regained consciousness, he looked at the two men again, and his heart was filled with another kind of pain.

The rabbit regained its temperature in Tao Yun's hand, and Yan Wujiu felt that Tao Yunchu's ability to control fire spells is really strong, and his control of temperature is quite precise, wood can make fire, it seems that his body should be a dryad The class is right.However, whether he is a high-level real person or something else is still in doubt.Because Jing Huan is obviously a fairy body, and now he has been sealed as a high-level real person.

I have to admit that even though the rabbit has been frozen and thawed, the rabbit meat roasted by Tao Yun is still very delicious and not old at all.But Yan Wujiu only admitted that it was a little bit more delicious than his own handicraft, but not to the point of expressiveness.

Tao Yunchu was not satisfied with the taste of the rabbit, and said, "If it hasn't been frozen, it won't taste like this."

Yan Wujiu said: "No hurry, I'll catch another one tonight." He thought unwillingly: Let's see what shocking taste you can make.

Xianhe shouted: "It's delicious! It's delicious! This is the best rabbit meat I've ever eaten!" Jing Huan ate it but didn't feel much. It is said that she belongs to the Tian family with average appetite and taste buds, and usually doesn't care about eating. The requirements are different from her gluttonous father.

Jing Huan said that the purpose of her trip is to go to the small world to find the key to Wuhe Township, which is a task assigned to her by her father.As for Tao Hua, they met by chance on the road and walked together for a few days.Tao Hua's destination is also the small world. He said that he would go to the small world to find an animal called "pig".

Yan Wujiu and Tao Yunchu looked at each other with disgust: What if there is only one pig in that small world?

Yan Wujiu's long-awaited first time finally came.On the afternoon of the second day when he became a high-level real person, when he was walking against the wind with his "drinking friends", "old lovers" and "rivals in love", Yan Wujiu felt an unprecedented novel feeling in his abdomen, as if he was bulging Infuriating, where is it ready to come out, if you hold it in again, you will feel like going crazy.Yan Wujiu solemnly said to the crane beside him: "Brother He, I experienced a novel feeling in my abdomen."

Lord Xianhe's expression changed drastically, and he said: "Brother Yan is not a feathered bird, so it is not suitable to deal with it in the air. Let me take Brother Yan to a good place."

"Yan Er, what's wrong with you?" Jing Huan looked worriedly at Yan Wujiu, who was clutching his stomach and looking weak.

"I might pull..." Yan Wujiu was about to say it honorably, but Lord Xianhe grabbed his mouth and pulled him to the ground.

The first time you beat someone to the ground, the first time you learn how to handle the wind correctly instead of rolling in it, the first time you freeze the ocean into ice, aren't they all things that should be publicized?He didn't know how proud he was to say that to brother Xi back then.

What a strange experience!First shit!

Lord Xianhe didn't even let him speak.

Of course, this little depression couldn't stop Yan Wujiu from being excited.When he was in the human world, when he was with the beauties, the beauties kept secret about this matter. He had never seen the beauties do this, so he only knew about it, and never thought of observing it clearly. It seems that this is a good thing, but the beauties only want to enjoy it alone and don't want to share it.

Mr. Xianhe designated a gentle grassland, pointed to Yan Wujiu and said: "Take off your pants, empty your dantian, and then go all out, huh, no, huh."

After speaking, he turned and left.

Wait, what about the promised leaves?Lord Xianhe?

Sure enough, as Mr. Xianhe said, after the imposing "hmm~mm", something squeezed out of the anus and fell to the ground with a bang.

Such pleasure!It's more enjoyable than sleeping with beauties!Yan Wujiu, who was trembling all over, felt empty, and there was nothing more ready to come out of his abdomen.

This prostration-like pleasure feels empty.Yan Wujiu squatted for a long time, but he couldn't wait for Xianhe Lord to come, so he coughed and asked, "Brother He, where are the leaves?"

A pack of tissues - a common item in the human world of previous generations - fell in front of Yan Wujiu.

Yan Wujiu took out a tissue and asked, "How do I use it?"

"Fold it in half twice and wipe it on the exit."

Why isn't it the sound of a crane?

After Yan Wujiu did so, he found that there was nothing on the tissue, and immediately smelled an unpleasant smell.

He lifted his trousers and stood up, turning his head to look at the thing curled up like a coiled snake.Well, the smell is really average.

Immortal Crane Lord just appeared from a distance, holding something in his hands, seeing that Yan Wujiu had already put on his pants, he was shocked, and shouted: "You haven't wiped your butt yet!"

Brother Xianhe held a fresh, somewhat hard bamboo leaf in his hand.

Yan Wujiu took the pack of tissues, turned his head and saw Tao Yunchu behind the tree.Tao Yunchu seemed to be serious, but his peach blossom eyes had already been aroused.

He is laughing.

Yan Wujiu instantly understood why Brother He stopped him from publicizing this matter everywhere, everyone should know about this matter, but he didn't, it's just a joke!

By the way, what Yan Wujiu is experiencing at this moment is "inferiority", that's right, it's not something else, such as the "shame" that normal people should have, but low self-esteem.This is how he understood Tao Yun's smile: other people's children will shit when they are born, but you, 35 years old, will only shit for the first time.

What's even worse is that Tao Yunchu chatted with Jing Huan that night, talking about all kinds of anecdotes in the human world, and talking about the high civilization at the end of the last generation, if the baby was born without pooping for 48 hours, it would have to undergo surgery. .

Although Yan Wujiu lived in the human world at the end of the last generation, he couldn't distinguish the truth from the fake, he only felt that a certain son was insinuating, and his anger deepened.

Last night, the four high-level real people ate the second rabbit, and after eating Yan Wujiu's soul out of his body, they walked against the wind for two hours, and returned to the forest to rest in the middle of the night.

The reason why Yan Wujiu pretended to be ignorant of Fairy Jing Huan's dilemma and stubbornly wanted to go with the two of them was for the simple purpose of disturbing Huang Taoyun's good deed.For this purpose, he can bear to stare at Tao Yunchu all the time, and prevent the couple from contacting at the place closest to Tao Yunchu.

Of course, Yan Wujiu didn't admit that he was waiting for Tao Yun to cook something.Of course, for today's two meals of roasted roe deer, he enjoyed half of the roe deer for himself twice, which led to the first time in his life that he came so fast.

Last night, while resting in another cave on the cliff, Yan Wujiu said that if he couldn't sleep with Jing Huan, he must sleep with Tao Yunchu.

So Fairy Jing Huan and Jun Xianhe were tongue-tied, and saw the two "rivals in love" sleeping in a tent.

That's right, it's a tent. Yan Wujiu brought it from the human world. He said that the human body of a high-level real person won't be melted by fire, and it won't be soaked by water. Of course, it's still possible to catch a cold. Therefore, a tent and sleeping bag are needed for sleeping.

Tao Yunchu has no objection to this at all. Mr. Xianhe believes that Tao Yunchu's tolerance for this love rival who is delivered to his door is beyond ordinary. Would a normal person follow behind his love rival and thoughtfully send expensive out-of-print tissues to him when he has no paper to poop? ?You know, the current human world doesn't even use straw paper, and you know, the biggest motivation for all real people in the cultivation world to become immortals is that immortals don't need to shit on their bodies.

In the middle of the next night, when the four of them found a cave on the cliff for the third time, Mr. Xianhe quietly expressed his hidden worries to Yan Wujiu.

Yan Wujiu didn't want to explain Tao Yunchu's ridicule and uneasiness towards him, so he just asked: "Then what do you think he wants to do?"

Lord Xianhe thought for a long time, and said: "He wants pigs."

Yan Wujiu followed suit: "You're right, if there are fewer pigs and more people, if we get along well, we can raise them together so that they can reproduce smoothly."

"You don't have to fight to the death?"

"very true."

Mr. Xianhe looked at the two real men who entered the tent together, and felt that something was wrong.

They probably couldn't guess what the two rivals were doing in the tent, could they?

On the first night, I didn't do anything, and went to sleep without saying a word.After entering the tent the next night, Tao Yun asked Yan Wujiu, "Is there a quilt? The sleeping bag is not very comfortable."

Yan Wujiu "speak directly" said: "Yes. But I don't want to use it for you."

Tao Yunchu rummaged through the space, took out a bag of candy, and handed it to Yan Wujiu.

Yan Wujiu opened the candy wrapper, this time it was osmanthus candy.Yan Wujiu took out the only quilt in the space when the tear-tearing sweet-scented osmanthus fragrance overflowed from his mouth.

But he was not reconciled at all, he said to Tao Yunchu: "I want to cover the quilt too."

Mr. Tao said very naturally: "Then let's build together."

Yan Wujiu has never slept in the same quilt with other humans.The so-called sleeping between him and the beauties in the human world means that when the time for real sleeping comes, they go to sleep in their own rooms.Although immortals do not need to sleep, they can fall asleep, but their appearance when they fall asleep will scare mortals.There is no demand for quilts, it's just for show.

Although the sleep requirements of high-level real people are not high, they still need sleep, and they will not breathe like a fairy when they sleep. It seems that their breathing and heartbeat have stopped, but they seem to sleep more deeply.

Yan Wujiu really wanted to reject this proposal, but just thinking about Mr. Tao once letting him freeze the entire East China Sea in the cultivation world, he just felt that he couldn't do this, let Mr. Tao get his way easily, and sleep comfortably in a quilt alone .

"Very good, just to keep warm!" Yan Wujiu clapped his hands.

"Are you still afraid of the cold?" Tao Yun asked.

"No, after the five or sixty thousand-year-old fairy body matures... of course it is afraid of the cold! Of course the high-level real person is still cold!"

Yan Wujiu was very afraid of the cold before the age of 5. He had an ice physique and practiced ice spells, but before the age of [-], before the immaturity of the immortal body, it was always cold.At that time, he spent most of his time in the land of nothing. He hid in the thickest branches and leaves of the citrus tree. Brother ci also seemed to have a soul, and he would always warm him up with energy.Speaking of which, the "cold" should be the most impressive thing about his "bad experience" in the body, right?It's just that after the body of a celestial being more than [-] years old matures, it won't melt in fire and won't get wet in water. Of course, it feels warm, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable.

Now that he has become a high-level real person, he can really experience the cold again.

Tao Yun took off his coat, got into the bed, Yan Wujiu hesitated, took off his clothes and got into the bed.

Tao Yun's unbelievably beautiful face was close at hand, and his peach blossom eyes were full of smiles.Yan Wujiu suddenly felt that his breathing and heartbeat stopped, not turtle's breath.After a while, the heart started beating wildly.

The body of a high-level real person is indeed closer to that of a human being, and the beating of the heart can still be irregular.Yan Wujiu thought seriously, Tao Yunchu held his hand lightly, warm Qi came from his palm, and asked, "Is it cold?"

Not cold, I don't know why the whole body is hot.

But he said, "It's cold."

"Bai Chang is so old, he hasn't grown up at all." Tao Yun's peachy eyes were still full of smiles.

This seems foul.Yan Wujiu's soul came out of his body again the moment Tao Yun hugged him.Tao Yunchu's black and smooth hair brushed against Yan Wujiu's face, our young master Wujiu's heart stopped again after his soul came out of his body.

"It's not cold anymore, go to sleep." Tao Yunchu rubbed Yan Wujiu's head like coaxing a child.

Yan Wujiu firmly believes that all the weird experiences are due to the body of a high-level real person.But Yan Wujiu is not a fool, he thinks Tao Yunchu is even weirder than this improvised body.

He hugged when he said it was cold?He said he was cold when he was a child, but his mother didn't hug him?When he was just weaned and was dying of cold, his mother ran out to play and never came back.

Wait, this is not the point at all, would someone hug a rival in love like this?Yan Wujiu thought for a quarter of an hour, Tao Yunchu in front of him had already fallen asleep.Yan Wujiu stared blankly at Mr. Tao's face that fit his aesthetics [-] out of [-], thinking: Mr. Tao, are you being too casual?

You almost had sex with a female fairy in the cave, and now you are hugging your rival to keep warm, what about your integrity?

Yan Wujiu didn't feel very good, Mr. Tao must have been so unscrupulous all the way in the past 5 years, right?