The days when I was forced to be a heartthrob in a bloody text

Xu Shixi doesn't quite remember what time the Spring Festival Gala would last when he was a child. In his impression, it seemed that it would end at two or three o'clock. Now it's almost over after a short time, or it may be that the time at that time always seemed a little longer.

He searched the program list on Weibo, and there were only the last five programs left. He reached out and rummaged through the fruit plate, and took a piece of lychee-flavored fruit candy to swallow.

The skit on TV was in full swing, Xu Shixi stepped on Pei Yan's foot on the edge of the sofa and said, "...you are suitable to be a guest on that kind of comedy variety show."

"Huh?" Pei Yan didn't know what he was talking about.

"It means that the guests sit at the bottom, and then there are people on the stage performing a show, a short cross talk talk show is fine." Xu Shixi sat next to him, with his knees on his knees, "Anyway, if you try to make the guests laugh, you can get a prize. If you don't laugh All the prizes will be given to the guests, and you will definitely be able to persevere until the end." After speaking, he smiled to himself.

Pei Yan was a little speechless, and stuffed him with a dried apricot.

Xu Shixi ate the dried apricots and lychee candies, and put his hand on Pei Yan's upright left knee to touch the deliberately old fringe. .

Xu Shixi also sent New Year greetings to Liang Jiaping. Liang Jiaping just replied that he is still preparing his team recently. Making a movie is a very complicated process. From screenwriting to photography to post-editing, every link is very important. Running in and scheduling It also takes time, but after the lead actor and some other important roles can be settled, the sponsorship talks are relatively smooth.

After chatting for a while, Xu Shixi put down his phone, sat up and hugged Pei Yan a little bit, and could still smell the very light fragrance of laundry detergent mixed with warm body temperature on the sweater.

"Kiss me." Xu Shixi raised his head and said to him in a low voice.

Pei Yan just ate his oranges, so he pretended not to hear, not wanting to reveal his secret.

Xu Shixi looked at him with his cheek on his knee, Pei Yan touched his wet lips with his fingertips, and joked, "No kiss."

During dinner at night, I drank a few glasses of shochu with Mr. Xu, and the feeling of being slightly drunk never passed away. Xu Shixi would not dare to do this when he was usually sober. Said embarrassingly: "I'm just kidding, you still take it seriously."

On the table are the amber walnuts that he remade two days ago. The sugar coating is light and even, not too sweet and can cover some of the flavor of the walnut itself. Take it over and open the lid to Pei Yan, and say, "Eat this, fry it. I made it later, it doesn’t taste like walnuts, you can try it.”

Pei Yan took a few yuan. He usually eats anything, no matter how hard to swallow the dusty food in the cafeteria, he just needs to eat as much as he can, but he is actually a picky eater, and eating walnuts always smells like earth.

Xu Shixi pushed the fruit plate towards him, hugged the sofa cushions to watch TV, and didn't speak any more.

Every year, the large-scale singing and dancing are lined up with colorful flowers and dazzling lights. After watching for a long time, I feel a little dizzy. After a while, Xu Shixi watched him take a cup to pour water, and said, "Isn't it a bit boring?"

In the evening, when Mr. Xu and Pei Nuonuo were together, it was quite lively. The two of them talked to each other to the effect that there seemed to be more than a dozen people in the room. When the rest of them were left, they had nothing to say.

Xu Shixi tried his best to find a few topics, but Pei Yan never responded, and there was nothing to talk about after finishing this sentence, and even though Pei Yan had been watching TV, Xu Shixi could feel that he was not really interested. It's not as interesting as doing the questions.

Pei Yan thought he was talking about the show just now, so he nodded.

After drinking half a glass of water, Pei Yan sat over and pushed him to lie on the sofa. Xu Shixi was still holding a pillow in his arms, blocking the distance between the two of them a little.

The sides of the sofa were a little slippery, and when he lay down, his head would fall back. Pei Yan kissed urgently, and his hand was still on his neck, and the thumbs were gently rubbing his Adam's apple. Xu Shixi was a little out of breath, but he didn't push it away. Open him, and wait until he finished kissing before opening his eyes, because his eyes were stained with a layer of water because of holding his breath.

The latch on the door here is broken, unlike in the sleeping room where you can draw the curtains and lock the door, without worrying that anyone will see it. For some reason, there is a feeling of secretly having a relationship at home behind the back of the parents. I am worried and out of control.

"I was joking just now," Pei Yan hugged him and sat up, raised his index finger and scraped the tip of his nose, "Do you still want to kiss?"

Xu Shixi shook his head, and hugged him to watch TV. He was already singing "Unforgettable Tonight", and outside the sky, fireworks began to bloom one after another, reflecting colorful lights on the window glass.

Until the words CCTV appeared on the screen, my heart sank inexplicably, and I couldn't tell what kind of loss it was. This year passed, and then it was a new year.

It was already past 01:30, Xu Shixi still didn't want to sleep, and it was too noisy outside, so he couldn't fall asleep, so he said to Pei Yan, "I'll go out for a while, if you're sleepy, go to bed first."

"Not sleepy," Pei Yan said, "Can I go together?"

"En." Xu Shixi nodded, and went to the door to get his coat.

Usually the alleys are deserted at this time of night, but today is different. There are still many chattering people outside, children running around with fireworks sticks, and red lanterns hung in front of every house, shining warmly and brightly late at night.

Xu Shixi bit a cigarette and lit it to block the wind, then locked the door and walked towards the entrance of the alley.

Pei Yan has always wanted to ask him one thing, since that birthday, but he didn't know how to ask him, so he happened to catch up today, so he asked him: "Don't you like to celebrate the festival?"

Stepping on the snow in the alley, Xu Shixi stopped under a lamp and turned his head. He couldn't say anything, and he didn't know what to say.

That was his first Best Actor nomination. Although he was running with him, he and the company probably had a lot of experience at that time. His works and experience had already reached that level.

It was difficult for him to enter the industry at the beginning, he had no background, was not from a major, and he didn’t want to take side paths, so he could only float around in the film and television city. He was willing to try any kind of role, and he had acted countless times as a corpse that didn’t even show his face in the camera , I have been a stand-in for a long time, and I may only have less than four hours of rest every day throughout the year. The money from filming is not enough to support myself, and I have to do odd jobs on weekdays.

It doesn't really matter when you say it. Who in this line of work doesn't work hard? Tears and sweat flow in the dark, and they just want to find comfort occasionally.

When he left the award presentation site, he asked his assistant to go home first, and drove to the orphanage by himself. Although the years here were not very pleasant, every time he suffered and suffered outside, this place was the only thing he could think of.

He didn't go to see the old dean and aunt before. After all, it was late. He just walked around and was very careful all the way. In the end, he was followed and photographed, but he didn't notice it.

The matter of going to the orphanage at night suddenly became a hot search year ago, and then some marketing accounts began to hint at his background. At that time, in order to avoid some troubles, Xu Shixi didn't want anyone to feel sympathy for him, so he kept hiding himself from the outside world. About growing up in an orphanage, when I was occasionally asked about my parents in interviews, I tried to avoid this question, or just said that my parents were busy with work and didn't know much about filming.

It was a premeditated revelation. Within a few hours, his experiences from childhood to adulthood were picked up and made public. The company arranged to remove the trending search, but it was too late, and many people had already seen it. refute.

At that time, he was considered a front-line man, and there was a lot of discussion on the Internet, most of which were shock and pity. It's not about climbing someone's bed, otherwise I'm so poor that I'm so poor, how can I get to this day.

Some people also asked whether he had some congenital genetic disease, or how he was thrown away. Like the movie he nominated, the male protagonist had a split personality, and the acting was so realistic. Don’t think he is really mentally ill. This nomination is probably a consolation Award, after all he is so miserable.

The mobile phone news has been ringing from years ago to the first few days of the new year. He hides at home and does not want to see anyone. Those years of poverty and embarrassment were caught off guard. In the interviews he did, the clips of his parents were spliced ​​​​to grow up. Every sentence in the accompanying text seems to say how pitiful and ridiculous this person is, and his dignity seems not worth mentioning.

It doesn't matter much, but it's still embarrassing to think about it now.

"It's not that I don't like it." Xu Shixi looked at the cigarette that Pei Yan took out of his pocket, and lent him a fire.

Opposite the entrance of the alley is an old building that has been demolished, leaving only broken bricks and cement pipes on the ground. At first glance, there is nothing to block it, and the view is very empty, especially the fireworks that are set off near the street not far away.

Pei Yan looked sideways at the bright fireworks falling in his eyes, Xu Shixi noticed his sight and smiled at him, the cold smoke in his mouth was annihilated in the winter night like mist.

"Go back?" The fireworks went off for a while, but no one put them off. Xu Shixi looked down at the snow-drenched firecracker skins at his feet, and there was no sound of children playing in the alley behind him.

Seeing that there was no one on the way, Pei Yan turned around and held hands with him, Xu Shixi asked him, "Are you carrying me?"

"Okay." Pei Yan took the last little stub of cigarette he had in his mouth and took two puffs, then crushed it and threw it into the roadside trash can.

"So obedient," Xu Shixi put his shoulders on his shoulders and said with a smile, "I should give you more lucky money."

"You don't need lucky money, you can give it to others," Pei Yan said.

"Huh?" Xu Shixi lay on his back, unable to understand what he said, "What do you want?"

"Can you do whatever you want?" Pei Yan asked him.

"You talk first." Xu Shixi was not fooled by him.

"Can I not just think about it?" Pei Yan said to him, bowing his head and kissing his fingertips.

Xu Shixi didn't understand at first, but after a while, remembering what he said to Pei Yan a few days ago, he laughed for a long time and said nothing.

I went home and went to the small cubicle to take a quick shower, and everything else was okay, the place where I take a shower in the yard is too cold in winter.

Lie on the bed and still didn't feel sleepy, Xu Shixi played games on his stomach for a while, Pei Yan sat on the edge of the bed and wiped his hair, casually flicked on his screen, touched two bombs in a row, and the game just ended.

Xu Shixi threw the phone aside in frustration, buried his face in the quilt and did not move. Pei Yan pinched his ears to see that he was still still, took his phone and said, "You can win a game for you."

"Well," Xu Shixi said sullenly, "I want to see it."

Pei Yan sat next to him and played the game. When the game reached more than 500 minutes, Xixi took the phone away and did not let him move it.

On New Year's Eve, you always have to turn on a light when you go to bed, and the lamp at the bedside is left on. After lying down for a while, Xu Shixi felt Pei Yan leaning over to hug him from behind, so he turned around and lay face to face with his arms, and kissed and played together. After a few kisses, Pei Yan dragged him to sleep with him under the quilt.

The foot of the bed in this room is made of bricks, which is not strong. It has collapsed once before, and it will start to make noise when it is slightly moved. I dare not make too much noise for fear of being heard by my grandfather.

Xu Shixi felt his hands slide down against his back, pushed him and whispered, "What do you want to do with this little broken bed?"

"Does this make you feel uncomfortable?" Pei Yan asked him.

Xu Shixi shook his head. When Pei Yan touched his back, he was a little nervous, but he didn't reject it, "It's not uncomfortable, you can do whatever you want, I don't mind."

In the middle of the night, there was another burst of crackling firecrackers outside, Xu Shixi was startled suddenly, Pei Yan reached out to cover his ears, Xu Shixi pressed his forehead against his chest, and said, "I wish I could meet you sooner."

作者有话要说：感谢在2020-05-1123:00:25~2020-05-1222:23:41期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 5 bottles of Mozili;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!