mortal death

"The so-called love is not about two people looking at each other, but being able to look in the same direction together." - Kotaro Isaka "Transparent Color Polar Bear"

Sometimes after a long time, I can't tell whether it is a dream or reality.

Just like Zhuang Zhou's dream of a butterfly.

I couldn't tell if what I saw was real or what was in my dream was real.

I've found that being in a relationship can make a person extremely anxious.I have anxiety every day and I just don't know what to worry about.

It's the end of the term and we've all become incredibly busy.

From that day on, we seldom even met each other. Lin Haoran was full of chores, and the final week was approaching, but there were a lot of WeChat on his mobile phone.

I told him that in order to concentrate on reviewing, I have to turn off the phone.

He didn't say anything.

Sure enough, New Year's Day falls on the final week of the semester, and there is a holiday on New Year's Day, that is, no exams.

I read between the words, and suddenly remembered that Lin Haoran had said that he would take me to see his father on New Year's Day.It was just a joke then, and it seems to be just a joke now.

What was written in the book, I didn't even read a single word, I don't know how long I stayed there.

The trees outside the window were bald again, and the scenery was the same on the day I first saw Lin Haoran.

Suddenly a thought crazily occupied my mind.

I packed my things and walked out of the library, tightened my collar, and walked quickly into the dormitory.

While calling Lin Haoran, the phone couldn't get through, probably on mute.

I took the guitar and sent him a WeChat message.

"I'll be waiting for you on the rooftop."

The phone didn't respond, and it was quite cold on the rooftop.But there is already greenery.

I was bored and scrolled through Moments, and a few former classmates posted emojis, "Mr. xx, I can't finish my revision, the roof is so cold"

I laughed out loud looking at those pictures, thinking, the rooftop is quite cold.

Lin Haoran finally saw WeChat messages, and messages popped up.

"Why are you going to the rooftop!"

"Wait for me! Don't move!"

I replied: "Wait for you."

Standing on the roof and looking down, a few scattered people walked by with books in their arms. Someone noticed me and walked by as if numb.

It's not surprising that there are a few things they can't think about in the final week of each year.

My heart is a little lazy.

A girl with messy hair ran downstairs with a book in her arms.

She saw me and greeted me with a smile: "Student! Is it cold on the roof?"

I suddenly had a burst of strength and answered her in the same voice: "It's cold! Go to the library to review, don't catch a cold!"

"Yes!—you too! Come down!"

I nodded and watched her go away.

Yes, the roof is not too high, only three floors, even if you jump off it, no one will die.

"Chen Gong!" Lin Haoran called me, I smiled and waved to him.

"You're fucking crazy! Come down!"

I shook my head.

Lin Haoran came up quickly.

His arm was as solid as a tree root, entangled me fiercely.

Calling me a lunatic.

I said, "Let go of me first, I didn't come to jump off a building."

Lin Haoran was a little puzzled, but he still didn't let go. I saw the corners of his eyes were red, and I couldn't resist kissing him.

Lin Haoran sealed my lips unceremoniously, plundering my air like a storm, his tongue deftly swept over each of my teeth, and my teeth were trembling with fear of his raging love.

"I really didn't come to jump off the building."

I have explained it countless times.

Lin Haoran stared at me viciously, but he didn't speak.

I picked up the guitar next to me and said, "Have you ever seen someone jump off a building with a guitar?"

"Really, I want to send you a song."

I sighed, Lin Haoran folded his arms, I guess he has calmed down now.

I was sitting on the roof and was pulled up by Lin Haoran.I said, "You still don't believe me?"

Lin Hao lit his mouth, "It's so cold on the ground."

I was helpless: "Do I play standing up?"

"Can't you play while standing?"

"..." Well, yes.

After stroking the string twice, I suddenly looked at Lin Haoran: "I have a few words that I want to say to you."

Lin Haoran laughed suddenly and said, "Wait a minute."

I just watched him take out his mobile phone from his pocket, pressed it a few times and pointed it at me, and said, "Let's talk."

"..."

"I'm actually very grateful to you. Standing here that day, I thought about everything. But I met you. I'm selfish and timid. Since we were together, I haven't said any love words to you. You have always paid, you go After 99 steps, I will take the next route."

"You said, what is liking? I didn't know it before, but now I seem to understand that liking is bravery and courage. This is also the purpose of my standing here today."

I saw that Lin Haoran's hands were trembling a little, and his cell phone just blocked his face, so I couldn't see clearly.

"You always tell me that we didn't meet here for the first time, but I only remember here, but you said that I sang that day, and I want to recall that day, and I think in my mind, there is our first The situation of the first meeting."

"I have seen thousands of mountains and thousands of waters all the way

My feet have traveled all over the sky and the north

……

Crowded city full of hypocrisy

why bother to argue who is wrong or right

Let everything return to innocence

That feeling of freedom will not be tiring"

There were quite a few people gathered around the small rooftop, they probably thought I was just singing.

"Driven mad by study."

"There's always a crazy one or two during the final week."

"But why did the little brother who recorded the video cry?"

"Maybe it's because the singing is too ugly."

Today, I finally remembered that I was eliminated from the original music club because I couldn't sing well, and Lin Haoran was admitted because he could play the piano, and he couldn't escape the word "fate".

I am very grateful that I met Lin Haoran, who made me live like a human again when I was walking dead.

Depression is not that terrible. People with depression are very warm in their hearts. It is because we have seen many realities that make us disappointed in the world that we are depressed.

But you have to believe that the world is still beautiful, Lin Haoran is for me, or xxx is for you, a landscape, or a person.

If not, it's not that he didn't come, but you found out.

Although the process is long, it is always worth the wait.

Finish

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