Pure White Core

My home is perpetually messy, dirty, clothes piled haphazardly on a corner table, socks piled in piles in little baskets, gray walls with shoe prints and crooked pencil writing, curtains open I used to play with fire The holes were burnt from time to time, the glass with poor visibility has not been wiped for a long time, and thick dust accumulated on the window sills.

I sat on the sofa with my face in my hands, trying to clean up, but there was nothing I could do.

My mother is not very good at tidying up the house. She never taught me how to tidy up things, so I am not very good at living.

In my memory, I have always been very dependent on others. I opened the jam jar and wiped the bread without closing the lid. I just left it on the table with the knife. I only quarreled with him when someone came back to clean up. Let him rest assured that without him I would hire Nanny will live well too.

Later, the mistress appeared... I still vaguely remember the mistress who likes to wear slim-leg pants and a thin windbreaker. He always wears colored contact lenses with big eyes, a high nose bridge and a pointed chin, fair skin, and short yellow hair.

Hey, I am actually compared to this kind of person.

I remember laughing, scratching my head, leaving the place where I lived for a long time under his victorious demonstration, with only a small bag for my documents.

I can't remember what happened afterwards, maybe I entered the pure white core, or the scarlet core?

I think I must have had a bad time, otherwise I wouldn't have returned to the age of seven and wanted to make a comeback.

Am I successful?

I don't know, but probably, I'm doing pretty well after all.

I have no relatives, few friends whom I can visit during holidays, and staying at home is really boring, so I might as well go out for a walk.

I packed the tiger in a messenger bag, and I went out to the station, but the ticket seller refused to give me a ticket, so I asked a stranger to buy a ticket to the provincial capital.

Before the departure, I got on the dilapidated long-distance sleeper bus, and after arguing with the driver for a long time, I found a place to spread the clean mat and thin quilt I prepared, and lay down.

"Baa~~" Huzi yelled worriedly while lying in my arms, surrounded by strangers, it was afraid.

Put the feeding bottle filled with goat milk powder in its mouth, and it calmed down after drinking the milk.Others were surprised that I brought lambs into the car, and the driver told me many times not to let the sheep pee on the car.But he really doesn't have to worry, I put Huzi on the diapers I got from Huang Yufei, and I felt relaxed and comfortable.

The car started, and the rumbling sound was monotonous and boring, making people drowsy.

"Little baby, you are in the car alone, what about your family?" The eldest sister in the next bunk was very enthusiastic and took the initiative to talk to me.

I smiled and said nothing.

"Why do you sleep with your hat on?" she asked me again.

The car departs at [-]:[-] noon and arrives at [-]:[-] pm tomorrow. It is really boring to keep silent for nearly [-] hours.

"How old are you, what are you going to do in City X, and are you looking for your family?" She persisted.

I was not interested in talking to her, so I took out the earphones from my pocket and stuffed them into my ears, selected some music with a strong rhythm on my smartphone, and listened with my eyes closed.

"What are you holding, how can there be such a small TV?" She moved closer.

"Are you deaf? You can't even hear me talking to you." Seeing that I closed my eyes with my back to her, her angry voice squeezed in through the gap in the music.Maybe she could get in, I got a nasty bad breath.

She said a few more words, probably swearing words, but I couldn't hear them clearly, and she didn't speak out after that.

The revolting foot and body odor wafting from the sleeper car made me think I should get my car out of the ring, maybe even a helicopter to go where I wanted to go.Of course, that's just a childish idea, to startle people who shouldn't be alarmed, I'm afraid I won't be able to close the scene.

I know I'm hypocritical, and I'd dislike this long-distance sleeper car and its full load of passengers.If it were me in the past, I would probably dream of taking a long-distance bus to a big city for a look, right?

Huzi was a little motion sick, vomited once, and lay in my arms drowsily. The car was driving on the winding mountain road, and I could see the terraced fields in the distance.

It is very painful to go out in such a year when there is no highway, and I even slightly regret my impulse.

In the evening, the car stopped at a restaurant on the side of the road to rest. The food in the restaurant was expensive and unpalatable. Jumping and dancing for a while.

There were so many people who talked to me along the way, and even middle-aged men with unshaven beards sat across from my table with a familiar face when they were eating. I don’t think they have any bad intentions. People these days are probably more enthusiastic. , not very self-aware.

Going back to the car to sleep, I slept soundly all night, I had a little dream, I dreamed that I told that handsome guy with a sea eagle that if I could grow up, I would definitely pick him up, he rubbed my head and laughed .

When I woke up the next day, the car had been on the road for a long time, and it was the tiger who licked my face. I woke up and gave it milk powder to feed it. The woman next to me who ate steamed buns and boiled eggs looked envious. Serve the milk powder, and I will feed the sheep with it.

After feeding the cubs, I fell back to sleep for a while, and didn't wake up again until noon.

Recently, the cubs are showing signs of being weaned soon, occasionally biting sheets and other things, so they don’t have to worry about making milk powder all the time if they can eat food in the future.

The days in winter are very short, and when we finally arrived at the provincial capital, it was already nine o'clock in the evening. It was pitch black outside the car window, and everyone was packing their bags. I got out of the car with Hu Zi in my arms.

In the night, the people who are attracting customers are clamoring to find the target in the crowd. I am lucky that no one disturbs me.

The big city in my memory is no different from my small county at this time, with dirty streets under dim street lights and a strong smell of drains, poorly dressed people and walls with mottled white paper advertisements.

I found the best hotel near the station according to my memory and went in. The person at the front desk was unwilling to book a room for me. I insisted that if I didn’t give me a room, I could only sleep on the street outside. Then she talked to the person in charge. Reluctantly opened me a nice room.

The suites in the hotel are tidy and tidy, and the furniture has an annoying 80s veteran cadre style, but it is barely tolerable.

After changing diapers and feeding Hu Zi, I was also very tired. It was very uncomfortable to ride the bus. Although I slept most of the time, I still felt tired.

When I woke up, I went to the front desk to renew the bill, and I continued to renew the room for ten days. The front desk on the morning shift was very surprised, and it took another arguing to complete the process.The price of staying in a high-end suite for more than ten consecutive days is very expensive. Not only do I get free breakfast, lunch and dinner, but I also gave me a two-day discount in the end.

I just walked on the streets of big cities with my little lamb in my arms. Bicycles flowed endlessly. Motorcyclists wrapped up like bears swaggered past the crowd. Occasionally, I could see crappy-looking cars, square and square. Like little dull coffins.

I really hate winter, everything is withered, and all I can see are irritating gray colors, as if I can't see any hope or future.

Plastic bags, styrofoam boxes, and disposable chopsticks were scattered in the bare flower beds on the side of the road, and red and blue plastic bags hung on the shriveled treetops, fluttering in the wind like crappy flags.

I tilted my head and looked for the road in my memory. Nearby was the university I had studied, and my boyfriend who had no memory, his home.

I also don't understand why I want to see his appearance, probably because of curiosity, why would I erase the memory of the Scarlet Core and him?What is so special about him.

I found the family courtyard in my memory. I vaguely remember that I lived in a certain building. It is more than ten years ago. These buildings are still very new. Old people who do morning exercises gather together to chatter, and women who come back from grocery shopping push Bikes were heading home, children dressed crookedly like puppies and wearing warm hats chasing and playing.

I don't remember which building or which floor I lived in. I just stood by the bicycle shed and watched the group of children playing in a daze.

They were around my age, so maybe he was in there too?

Some of them saw the tiger, and leaned over to look left and right. Their little faces were flushed with cold, and they made a fuss stupidly, as if they saw something extraordinary.

"You are not from our family courtyard, what are you doing here?" A girl in the fourth or fifth grade looked at me vigilantly like interrogating a spy.

"I'm here to find someone," I said.

"What's his name?" Another child asked eagerly, smiling all over his face: "I'll find it for you!"

"I don't know his name. He is about my age, seven or eight years old, and lives in this community..." I don't know any more information.

"What does he look like?" the girl asked me again.

"...I don't know, maybe I can recognize it when I see it." I scratched my head in embarrassment.

"You don't know anything, it's strange to find it," she said.

"Oh, I'm just trying my luck, and I don't have to find him."

"Your dress and hat are lovely," she added.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Will you play with us?" she said, "hide-and-seek or horse-riding war, what do you want to play?"

I can't say, I just watch from the sidelines.

They said that there are still several first- and second-grade children in the family home, and some of them don't often play with them, so it's not easy to see them.

I have watched these playing boys carefully, and none of them impressed me, and none of them caught my eye.

"Huh? Yu Shaorong?" Someone called me.

"Huh?" I looked over suspiciously.

"Why are you here!" The boy trotted over with a steaming steamed bun, and burst out laughing.

"Gao Xiaolin, why are you here?" I tilted my head to look at him.

"My uncle's house is here, and I'm going to visit his house during the holidays!" Gao Xiaolin happily ran over, "Do you eat steamed buns?" He was about to open the plastic bag and get me steamed stuffed buns.

"No." I frowned and shook my head.

"Yu Shaorong, why are you here?" He was overjoyed.

"I'm here to find someone." I smiled perfunctorily.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Oh, I found it, I just finished talking, I have to go back." I said.

"Ah...won't you come up and sit down? My uncle's house is in that building, on the fourth floor." He asked me to go over.

Well, there is such a thing on the fourth floor of Building No. [-].

That shouldn't be wrong, so Gao Xiaolin is the one I forgot?But in my memory, that person seems to be the same age as me. Am I wrong?

"Yu Shaorong, why are you in a daze, hehe, come with me, it's so cold outside." He pulled me.

I should go in and take a look, maybe there will be a more familiar feeling...

"No, I have to go shopping elsewhere today, and we'll talk about it later." I picked up Huzi and said goodbye to him.

"Ah..." He didn't expect it, and said discouragedly: "Okay... I still want to introduce you to my brother."

"Your brother?"

"Yeah, I'm the same age as you, and I'm going to transfer to our school next semester." Gao Xiaolin said, "My uncle is going to be sent abroad, and my mother and I will come back and pick him up to my house."

"What's your brother's name?"

"Lei Wan, Lei Da Lei, Wan Zi Wan, is it fun?"

Yes, it is the name, although I have never heard the name, but I know it is it, not wrong.

I didn't go to sit at his uncle's house, I said I still have something to do, and I will play with them when I get back.

Walking back with Huzi in my arms, I was in a good mood and relaxed, and I got a name, which is really interesting.