scorching cold

The moment he said this sentence, Tao Zhuo only had a novel thought in his mind: My mother, it turned out to be so cool to reject someone.

In the past, An Yi always said that he had almost no self in front of Li Suihan, whether Li Suihan had never had a bottom line for Tao Zhuo.No matter what Li Suihan did, Tao Zhuo didn't know how to object to doubts, and even consciously found good reasons for him.

The first example An Yi gave to establish this theory was the meal they met again at the beginning of their freshman semester.

Li Suihan asked Tao Zhuo that day, "You too"?After Tao Zhuo quickly waved his hand to deny it, he was still nervous for a while. He was afraid that his reaction would be too fast and too much, which would make Li Suihan feel that he had a problem with this group.

But after being rubbed on the head by Li Suihan, Tao Zhuo immediately felt relieved, and at the same time felt very happy——Li Suihan didn't have any sympathy for him, their getting along was so natural, no matter the conversation or action, how was it a few years ago? , still how.

Wen Ye and An Yi were also chatting and laughing behind them, moving every step and every step, and they seemed to be able to chat together very well.

An Yi was no longer as cowardly as before, Tao Zhuo looked back, he chattered and made gestures, Wen Ye nodded and listened to him for a while, then suddenly laughed, stopped An Yi's hand and began to gesture: " No, you are talking about another kind, I am talking about this..."

An Yi shook her head violently: "I know what you mean..."

Wen Ye: "No, no, listen to me..."

"These two people..." Tao Zhuo found it both funny and strange.

This is a play, right?

Is fate really about taking the first step boldly?

He glanced at Li Suihan, wanting to continue chatting with Li Suihan about Wen Ye and An Yi, but he didn't take two steps and then raised his eyes, the back door of the school was in front of him.

Li Suihan stopped, took a look at Wen Ye, did not urge him, and then chatted with Tao Zhuo: "Do you live at school or at home?"

"Basically they all live on campus." Tao Zhuo said, "My family has moved, and it is no longer in the same district as before."

"Ah." Li Suihan responded, looked at him for a while, and smiled again.

"What are you laughing at?" Tao Zhuo was numb from laughter after he finished talking about his math scores today.

"I think it's very interesting," Li Suihan said, "At that time, I thought you were suitable for painting."

Tao Zhuo wanted to pull it down, you must have remembered the art book I put there on purpose.

Putting his hands in his coat pockets, he tiptoed on the spot and asked Li Suihan, "What about you? Don't you live in school?"

Li Suihan didn't live in the school. He was still in the teacher's studio at that time, and lived near the studio.

"So far?" Tao Zhuo blinked in surprise when he heard the address of the studio.

"Yeah." Li Suihan didn't care much, his phone vibrated in his pocket, he took it out to look at it for a while, locked the screen and put it back before casually saying, "Next year is coming."

Wen Ye and An Yi finally finished talking and followed. Wen Ye put Li Suihan on Li Suihan's shoulders, hanging tall, said "Hey", and said, "I'll sleep at your place tonight."

Li Suihan looked at him teasingly, then at An Yi, Wen Ye smiled and punched him.

Tao Zhuo was still analyzing the language between these homosexuals, Li Suihan raised his hand to stop the car, and said goodbye to Tao Zhuo with his chin: "Go back, clean up and turn off the lights, contact us on WeChat."

"Really?" Tao Zhuo laughed and deliberately asked him, "Didn't you mean it this time?"

He still remembered that Li Suihan had given him his mobile phone number when he was tutoring him, so that he could call even if he was in a bad mood.

At that time, Tao Zhuo's mind was full of the kiss between him and his boyfriend, and he deliberately asked "Really"?Li Suihan replied, "That's what I said."

"I've really grown up." Li Suihan looked back at him with a smile, "You have sharp teeth."

Tao Zhuo laughed.

"Don't worry, I'll let him look for you if he doesn't." Wen Ye answered while whistling, and waved at An Yi again.

Back in the dormitory, before Tao Zhuo asked An Yi how he felt, An Yi asked first: "Is he crooked?"

Tao Zhuo didn't know what to say, he still didn't really want to tell the secrets of the powerful... no, it's Li Suihan, the corridor back then.

"Ah." He scratched his hair ambiguously, "Probably."

"Why is he unhappy?" An Yi asked again, "Break in love?"

Tao Zhuo was stunned: "What broken love?"

"I guessed it. Didn't Wen Ye say that he wanted to bring a friend who was in a bad mood? Looking at him, if he was in a bad mood, he would be broken in love." An Yi poked at him, "It's just a matter of messing with the elementary school boy."

"Don't talk nonsense." Tao Zhuo interrupted him.

Wen Ye seemed to have said this when chatting yesterday, but he forgot.Now when An Yi said "break up", his thoughts immediately changed.

"But why is he called powerful?" An Yi asked again.

Tao Zhuo told An Yi in detail how Li Suihan came to teach him, and the more he talked, the more he talked, from the first time he met Li Suihan without washing his hair, to the last meeting after the high school entrance examination, and then back to today's When he met by chance, he came back to his senses and pulled his hair with a bang: "I didn't wash my hair today."

An Yi is more concerned about another question: "Why does she say she is amazing?"

"Let's just say it casually, just jokingly shorten the distance." Tao Zhuo said with a smile, "Who hasn't reached the second grade yet."

An Yi stretched her neck and looked at Tao Zhuo in front of his face: "No, you're not angry? Are you emotional?"

Tao Zhuo looked puzzled: "Why am I angry?"

"He made up names to coax you." An Yi said seriously, "It's been so many years since he coaxed you. If he hadn't met you and still called him powerful, I think you are really good enough."

Tao Zhuo thought for a while, but still didn't feel any anger.

"You think so," An Yi continued, "whether it's a joke or not, I said that at the beginning, and then I didn't tell you your real name until I finished the class, which proves that I didn't want to get along with you sincerely at the beginning. I don't intend to be your friend."

"You can really lie." Tao Zhuo even laughed, "Now I want you to take a second grader to class and teach him how to draw. You can treat him as a friend and show me sincerely. If you come back with a bad face good."

An Yi was speechless, pointing at Tao Zhuo Zhi Le: "Thanks to you being a straight man, you are simply a fool!"

A few years later, An Yi also updated the entry to keep pace with the times. With the rise of a new batch of Internet buzzwords, Tao Zhuo was said to be Li Suihan's "dog licking".

Tao Zhuo didn't think so. He never felt that he licked Li Suihan much. After all, when he clearly found out that he should like Li Suihan, he was already in his senior year.

In the two and a half years from the first semester of junior year to the third year of junior year, Tao Zhuo transformed Li Suihan's identity from "tutor" to "old acquaintance"; he also consciously and naturally placed Li Suihan in " "Friend", "senior", and "old acquaintance", these three identities intersect.

Tao Zhuo thinks there is nothing wrong with caring, maintaining and showing favoritism between friends.

He has never had any assertiveness or standpoint in this regard, always saying "I like you, so with me, whatever you do is right".

As for caring, it has to be more or less linked to gossip.

After An Yi raised the possibility of "breaking up", Tao Zhuo couldn't turn his mind instantly.

The kiss that was glimpsed in the corridor at that time kept turning around in front of his eyes like an evil spirit.

Although he only had a relationship with that boy, Tao Zhuo had a pretty good impression of him. In his memory, he had a handsome face with rain, which was quite elegant, the kind of person who engraved "excellence" on the top of his head. people.

What a pity, if we really broke up.

Tao Zhuo sighed a little.

He understands that homosexuality is not easy. There are too many stories of being unable to do what he wants in the posts he has read. The better the person, the more directly proportional the family's expectations and opposition.But subconsciously, he had always tacitly agreed that the two were always together.

Tao Zhuo recalled that he was crazy about kissing, and it was impossible to ask Li Suihan this question rashly, so he could only hide the role of Li Suihan's boyfriend, and chatted with An Yi about "breaking up".

"No matter how suitable a person is, it's normal to break up. As long as we can separate, there must be a reason why we can't." An Yi cocked his feet on the upper bunk, hey, and sent Tao Zhuo a WeChat message, "Maybe your male god is not good at that?"

Tao Zhuo kicked his bed board with a smile while holding his mobile phone.

In the end, An Yi went to ask Wen Ye, and said that Tao Zhuo didn't see that your friend was in a bad mood, and after thinking about it for a long time, what happened to him?

Wen Ye's answer was as An Yi expected: we broke up.

Wen Ye's typing was fast, An Yi had just finished screenshots and threw them to Tao Zhuo, and he sent a few more words: We've been talking for several years, and after graduation, he came out of the closet with his family without stopping, and his partner was almost sent to rehab by his family. The same office, tossing and tossing, was completely cut off during the Chinese New Year.

Tao Zhuo and An Yi sighed.

"Coming out", "family", "abstinence from the same place", the pressure that these words bring to people is invisible. No matter how rational and objective the family atmosphere is, facing these words makes me panic from the bottom of my heart.

So a few years later, when Tao Zhuo confessed his sincerity to Li Suihan, he was probably too nervous. He foolishly promised Li Suihan: Don't be afraid, my family will not send me to a rehab center, and I will also rehabilitate if I do. no.

Don't think about these things, Tao Zhuo's face is stung with panic when he thinks about it.

The feeling of suffocation came to his heart again, he pursed his lips and began to complain: "...you also know that people's mental strength is limited. When I like you, I really like you. I don't want to face you anymore. I chase you, but I can't. It’s meaningless to calm down and think about it. So when I liked you, I really liked you, and now I don’t like you, and I really don’t like you.”

I really don't like you anymore.

What do you like?Not at all.

Tao Zhuo muttered in a low voice, Li Suihan looked at him for a while, then suddenly raised a hand.

Tao Zhuo was startled, thinking that he was going to beat him up, and just about to make a tactical retreat, Li Suihan's slender fingers had already penetrated behind his ears, grasping his neck Xuxu, and tapped his chattering lips with his thumb .

Like flipping a switch.

Just such an expressionless gesture made Tao Zhuo instantly forget what he wanted to say.

He stared blankly at Li Suihan, the numbness from the touch on his lips and behind his ears uncontrollably magnified, spread into his brain, and burned extremely vividly.

Tao Zhuo's ears were so soft that he couldn't help touching them, especially Li Suihan.

The corners of Li Suihan's mouth curled up, he withdrew his hand and looked at Tao Zhuo, and said, "Lie."