wait for you with flowers

At the beginning of the new year, I accidentally logged into Jinjiang to read old articles and learned that a book friend named "The Flower of the Other Side" came to comment.

Although the comment was just a few lines, it brought tears to my eyes. I finally calmed down and planned to add this so-called ending!

I am not a professional writer or author, and I did not sign a contract after writing this book. In the final analysis, it was because of some things that happened while writing this book.

Coupled with the pressure of other things, I was a little out of breath and wanted to find a place to talk. I didn’t expect anyone to read it, so I just wrote it casually. Thank you book friends for your careful reading!

Regarding Uncle’s departure, I was actually the one who left first, so this is my retribution. The reality is not like a fairy tale, there are too many people who can’t help themselves, and it’s still an unrecognized group like us!

As for why I left Uncle, in fact, if you have ever loved someone deeply, you will know!That is to hope that he will live a good life and hope that he will live a normal life!

He is so successful in his career, I don't want to be a stain on him, you can also say that I am too weak, it is fine to run away!

All happiness or pain can only be understood by the person involved, so I don't intend to explain this matter!

I waited for him for four or five years, and I have forgotten how I got here in a daze during the period. I only remembered when I saw familiar things sometimes, ah, so many years have passed...

I don’t know how to answer the question of whether I have waited for the uncle. In fact, I don’t know what to say. I once discussed this topic with a friend and told him that I feel disgusting and scumbag. He told me not to be so Think, say I'm fine!

……but!

I still feel disgusted, if you read it, you might think I am disgusting too!

One day in 2015, I got the news that he was married. I remember that my heart was so painful that I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t the pain that he was married, but the pain that happened to be my birthday!

I was alone in the dormitory laughing until I cried, crying until I laughed like a madman, and then I forgot what happened!

I was still waiting for him two years after his marriage, but I swear, no matter how much I missed him, I never contacted him. I knew every bit of him from my former colleagues!

In fact, the past few years of waiting for him has been really painful for me. I hope that he can come back to me, but at the same time, I want him to live a normal life. I am struggling like this!

Until I heard that he was indescribably suffering after he got married. While I was glad that he finally lived a normal life, I was still persistent and refused to let go, fearing that his life after marriage would not be good. In the end, I chose Continue to wait for him for a few more years!

I don't know what I was thinking. To put it bluntly, I might just think that if he gets married and gets divorced, at least I will be waiting for him. After thinking this way, I slapped myself hard...

So you see, I am disgusted, I am glad that he is married, but I am still thinking about his divorce!

Wait for a year or two after he got married. During that time, I thought, I should let go. He has already lived a normal life. If he knows that I am still waiting for him, then he will not live a good life. !

There is also a voice in my heart saying, maybe I think so, maybe he has forgotten me a long time ago...

In the fall of 17, I got married!

She is a girl that uncle and I both know. She knows everything about uncle and me, because we work in the same store.

It can be said that she also facilitated my association with the uncle!

She dragged her out to drink milk tea that day, probably because her parents were so annoyed by the urging of the marriage that they dragged me out for fun!

We sat by the window, and she sat across from me and looked at the crowd downstairs for a while and looked at me for a while, and suddenly she said, "Are you still waiting for him... oh... it's all my fault, just don't make fun of you two at that time Already!"

I smiled wryly, "Yeah...it's all your fault, you have to be responsible for me!"

"Okay, at worst, I'll marry you!" She said with a laugh!

My mind went blank for a few seconds and I said, "Okay!"

Her laughing suddenly stopped!

I looked at her seriously, "Repent?"

"You, you're not serious, are you?"

"Well, let's get married!"

……

Yes, later, we got married!

She is rebellious in front of her parents. Her parents have always been worried that she will not get married. Now I am happy to see that I can survive, let alone how happy my parents are!

She is actually a good girl, sensible and generous, and behaves well in the world, but she is like a hedgehog in front of her parents. In fact, it is because her parents only took her brother away when they were working, and she was raised in someone else's house. There is not only the generation gap and hatred that cannot be bridged, but also the family affection that cannot be parted!

I didn't touch her after we got married, and she didn't say anything, but we lived together, after all, we couldn't live together if we got married, and our parents couldn't get through it!

We didn't live with our parents, and she changed industries, so we only met once in the morning and evening, and sometimes we went out for a walk to eat and drink together during the holidays!

Later, gradually, I was in great pain again, and I told her that I was wrong, that I shouldn't have dragged her into the water, that I married her even though there was still someone living in my heart, I felt disgusted at myself!

what am iwhat is sheI hate myself to death, she said it's okay anyway, she didn't have a better candidate and I just needed it!

But I know, this is too unfair to her, I can't give her happiness but she still says she is willing!

Until later, when I was in great pain, a friend told me that in fact, my wife has been waiting for me for a long time. Everyone knows that she loves me, so I can't see it!

I was stunned for a long time, really, I was stunned for a long time, I always regarded her as my best friend, I really never thought that she would love me for a long time, she knew everything about me, silently as a friend Be with me for so many years!

She has never acted like she likes me. My friend only said that the people I always look at are uncles!

Later, I didn't know what to do, I only knew that I was getting more and more sick of myself!

Just imagine, you love someone, and that person also loves you, but later you have to separate, you are suffering, sad, and then there is always someone by your side to accompany you, watching you cry, seeing you laugh, seeing you in pain, and then Suddenly one day someone tells you that the person who is with you has always loved you, that is, she sees the person she loves sad for the person he loves in front of her, and she can't do anything but suffer your pain...

I forced myself to get out of the uncle's prison, but it was really too difficult. I remembered him for so many years, how could he say he forgot and forget it!

Many people may say that it’s just that I’m stuck and don’t want to come out. The uncle is married and I’m still like this. It’s just asking for trouble. She loves me silently and stays with me silently, but what can I do?A person, a person who loves to the bone, can be forgotten just by saying forget it!

Until one night more than a month ago, it was very cold. I got off work at nine o’clock. Since our store is located in a bustling area, it was the peak of the flow of people. Evening people!

He was still wearing a suit and leather shoes, and he was wearing a black windbreaker. The moment I looked up, he saw me too!

However, he didn't stay for me for a moment, and he didn't even give me a smile or a surprised look. Just like that, he passed me by a few people and turned a blind eye to me!

I stared at the place where I saw him just now, tears dripped down in the blink of an eye, and moved with difficulty, I put on the hat of my clothes, and buried my head very low, as long as I blinked along the way, the tears flowed down Rattling!

He, whom I miss so much, just passed me by, we are close at hand now breathing the air of the same sky, however, he can no longer see my shadow in his eyes!

I just remember that after I went back, I had a fever and a cold for several days. She was so worried that she asked for leave to accompany me to get injections and make soup and porridge!

Looking at her, I thought, what would I want my uncle to do to me?We are all married people, should we abandon our wives and children?At that moment, I finally knew that we really couldn't go back!

It's just me, I can't talk about being sad, and I can't talk about being sad anymore. What's more, I look like a wooden man...

The weather is getting colder and colder. The weather forecast says that it may snow here. In a few days, sleet has been confirmed!

Finally, on the night of NO.30 in January, it snowed!

When I was about to get off work, I heard that it was snowing outside. I looked out the window. After so many years, could it really snow?Uncle Brain's face reappeared, I remember I told him at that time, if it snows, we will go out together overnight!

However, meeting again now is an embarrassing situation without even a smile!

I couldn’t help but feel bitter. After get off work, I went downstairs from the back door. I just went down the stairs and was about to drive, but the oncoming people made my heart skip a few more beats!

The uncle walked up to me and said with a smile, "Do you want to go out for a walk?"

By coincidence, I said yes!

He walked forward, and I walked behind him. After walking for a while, he looked back at me and said, "Don't walk behind me, let's walk together!"

I took another two strides to keep up with him. During this time, I tilted my head to look at him quietly. He was still so temperamental and handsome, but the dark circles under his eyes were a bit heavy and haggard!

We didn't talk during the period, Xuemi stopped and stopped,

We walked along the river, and suddenly, he stopped and looked up at the sky, the corner of his mouth raised, and I looked up.

snowflakes...

He just stood there looking at the dark sky, smiling all the time, the snow was getting bigger and bigger, I reached out to catch the snowflakes, and he said, "It's great, we're going to grow old together..."

Boom... My mind and heart went blank, but in the blink of an eye, a few tears rolled down again!

There was no one by the river, I looked up at him, he looked at me, the two of them just stood and looked at each other so stupidly, I forgot how long it had been since he raised his hand to wipe away my tears, his eyes were a little wet!

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hold back..." He looked at me and burst into tears!

My heart is in great pain!

"Can I hug you?" He cried like a child, this is the first time I've seen him cry since we've been together!

He was at a loss when he saw that I didn't agree, he wanted to reach out to touch me but he retracted it, and repeated like this until my heart broke and I ran into his arms by myself!

Someone came and he wrapped me in his clothes and ignored him. I heard his heart beating fast, and his chest was as firm and warm as before!

He hugged me tightly, strangling me a little bit, I know how much he wants to integrate me into his bones, but why not me!

…………

The snow gradually stopped, and snow rice began to fall again!

After 10:30, he walked me back. We didn't talk much. After I opened the door, he said, "Sorry!"

I looked at him and said, "You're still you, I'm still me, it's just us, we can't go back! I still love you so much...but we can't go back!"

He burst into tears and said he knew!

I quickly got into the car and reversed the car, but the tears couldn't stop and I wiped them again and again. In the end, I couldn't hold back and got out of the car and ran to him, hugged him and kissed him!

Mixed with salty tears, I kissed him recklessly. I was really too scared. I was afraid that I would never see him again. If I could, I would use my life to keep this moment!

a long time……

I watched his lips being bitten by me and kissed him lightly, watched his eyes wipe away his tears with my hands and said, "From now on, I will never see you again!"

I could clearly hear my voice changing due to choking, and he also kept wiping away my unstoppable tears and said "OK"!

……

Coincidentally, no matter how cold it was, we never had snow in the following days!

Up to now, my heart has always been calm and relaxed. He is still in my heart, and I am also in his heart. I know that we both love each other, but now we all need to be responsible for our own choices.

Even if I don't see him again in the future, he still lives in my heart. He is a candle that will never go out in my heart, but now I have to be responsible for my sun!

The story ends here, I will live with my sun well, thank you everyone!

The author has something to say:

I have nothing special to say, I can only wish you all a happy new year, good health and good luck in everything!