Willingly ABO

The baby dug a small hole again, and finally realized that the dug sand pile was far more interesting than the sand pit. He made a pile with both hands, pointed to a sandcastle built by other children not far away, and shouted to me:

"Dad! It's a big house!"

"Well, you can pile it up, and Dad will visit the baby's big house in a while!"

My heart was soft and I coaxed him gently.When he turned his head and started to "work", I looked at his back and said to Watarase with emotion:

"Sometimes people are like this. Usually they don't pay attention and don't cherish them. When they have someone who cherishes them, they realize that they really didn't take some small details seriously before. It's too late to regret. I'm afraid that one day you will have to throw them away. Kill him, or he'll have to leave you."

Watarase looked at the undulating sea not far away, and remained silent, thinking about something, perhaps thinking that what I said had some truth.

"You are right. As a doctor, I often encounter such a situation. I have seen several children who died suddenly due to acute childhood illnesses. How their parents held their bodies and cried. Some of them Not long ago, I promised to take the children to the Carnival Park, but unfortunately they will never wait for that day."

Watarase sighed deeply.

"I can only express my deep regret."

Indeed, a person cannot be resurrected after death, so what else can he do other than feel sorry for those people?

"I used to have a good life. My father loved me very much, and my studies and career were also very smooth. Except for love... I won't talk about it. Anyway, I always felt that I was a child who didn't grow up and didn't need to grow up. But since I was pregnant Up to now, too many things have happened in the past few years, and they have all made me grow up rapidly, especially after the baby was born, I have another fetter, and I have to shoulder the responsibility of being a father. Better accompany him to grow up."

I picked up the camera and shook it towards Watarase.

"That's why I need to keep more memories! I hope we will recall each other in the future. I feel sweet, and he also feels that the road to growth is carefree."

The sea breeze caressed the baby's soft hair, I got up and approached him quietly, and stretched out my hand to hook the broken hair around his ear behind his ear.He turned to look at me, waved the two handfuls of sand he was holding, twisted his body and threw himself into my arms, squinting his eyes silly.

I can't say anything particularly touching, but the situation is indeed full of emotion, and every word uttered comes from the heart.

"Next weekend will be your second birthday, baby, let's grow up healthily every year from now on!"

The baby didn't know if he understood what I said, so he nodded cheerfully.

Watarase, who was behind me, suddenly called me and stretched out his hand: "Xin Gan, if you don't mind, please give me the camera. I'll take some photos for you father and son."

"Okay." I handed the micro-slip to Watarase, and held the baby in my arms for a few posses.

Although Watarase is not professional enough, he still took a few pictures in a decent way, with the blue sea and blue sky as the backdrop, I was holding the baby and smiling brightly in the sun.

I flipped through the original film and proposed to Watarase:

"By the way, do you want to take pictures? Take a photo with us! If you are not used to taking pictures with others, I will take some for you as a souvenir? Don't worry, I have been taking portraits for a long time, a kid who likes to run around I can take good pictures, and it will definitely not be a problem to take pictures of you."

Watarase chuckled and shook his head: "No need."

"Don't you want to keep something as a souvenir?"

Watarase still shook his head:

"I have already taken a few landscape photos with my mobile phone and sent them to those who want to share them. For the rest, let them remain in my memory forever."

The waves hit the rocky shore, making a heavy and regular low sound.

"Xin Gan, why do you think humans invented cameras? Just for commemoration? Going forward, before there were no cameras, why did realistic paintings exist in the world?"

Watarase asked suddenly.

He suddenly asked such a profound question, I didn't know how to answer it for a while, looked at the baby in my hand, and said:

"Uh... isn't it because you like it, so you want to keep it as a souvenir?"

Watarase stared into the distance silently, without saying a word.

He didn't speak slowly until there was a roar of sirens in the harbor:

"I think it's probably because the more beautiful things are, the harder they can be grasped and kept in reality, so I want to frame them and hide them by my side forever. The feeling of not being able to keep something is really too much." It's excruciating."

"Someone once told me that realistic painting is similar to photography art, more like a disguised relationship connection. Taking photos with others is to publicize the relationship between two people to the outside world. Recording scenery is to tell others and brainwash yourself. , this piece of land has a certain connection with yourself. I have to admit that everyone has such selfish desires, right? When you applied for a job in a photo studio, you told the boss that you were not good at taking portraits when you were in China, and you only wanted to do it for yourself Why do you want to take pictures of him? Because you want to strengthen the connection between you. Just like my former lover, I also like to draw a portrait sketch for me every day."

It is rare for Watarase to mention his past relationship in front of me. He looks very calm, as if this relationship experience did not leave him with particularly painful memories, but is it really the case?

"It turned out to be useless. We still broke up. The connection between us is so fragile. We took a bunch of photos together, drew a lot of pictures as souvenirs, and even went to the shrine to worship and hang ema. We have done so much, eager to maintain The fragile relationship between us. But I still didn't keep him, thinking about it now, how naive."

Watarase laughed to himself.

"So then I didn't like doing these things anymore. Anyway, it's something that will disappear one day. It's better to just let it stay in my mind from the beginning, and become a pure period without any memorial. Maybe it will be even better in the future when I look back on it, especially when I release them from my memories when I get old, it will probably add new emotions at that moment.”

In the evening of that day, we boarded the car for the return journey.

I sat in the back seat of the car with my baby in my arms, facing the red sun and the afterglow of the setting sun on the sea level.

Watarase started the engine, and suddenly asked in a low voice:

"Xin Gan, I had a really good time today, I will always remember this day, and you will too, right?"

I nodded slightly and replied: "Of course I will. The scenery here is so beautiful that it is worth my whole life. Not only me, but also the baby, although he doesn't remember anything. But the impression of beauty will last forever engraved deep in memory."

"Really, that's great." Watarase murmured, "He also said that as long as we don't forget, time will not wash away these memories."

I don't answer anymore, it seems that Watarase is in love with the scene today, thinking of his old lover, and falling into memories.

I stopped disturbing him, quietly thinking about what he said that sounded a little heavy and had no clear meaning.

Watarase is holding the steering wheel with one hand, and resting on the window sill with the other hand, facing the sea breeze, I look at his back, looking very leisurely.

Sometimes he chatted with me about these somewhat deep topics inadvertently, although he only mentioned them casually, but because I have also been injured, I know that sometimes, his heart may not be as open-minded as he shows.

Many of his words are not unreasonable. In fact, many memories are new memories obtained by the brain after re-beautifying and assembling according to our wishes.

Just as I have been secretly in love with Qin Yuan for so many years, I have already lost my correct judgment in my heart. In the past, I would naturally praise him and praise him, thinking that he is good everywhere, and there is no one in the world who is better than him and who is more suitable for me.

Even many boring childhood memories are regarded by me as one of the incidents between the two of us. I would think, maybe he started to like me at this time, and I added a lot of plots that didn't exist in my mind, and gave back to myself. It's covered with a pink-purple filter.

If it wasn't for Qin Yuan's more perfunctory attitude towards me after not only knowing that I was alive, but also knowing that I had taken his cub, I might still have imagined that the two of us could get together again.

I lowered my eyes and looked at my baby son lying in my arms, who was half asleep and half awake. Seeing that the frequency of his babbling with the pacifier in his mouth gradually slowed down, I quietly reached out to take his pacifier off.

"Uh...uuuu..."

It turned out that the baby was really sensitive. As soon as I pinched the pacifier ring, he woke up, rubbing his eyes with one hand and pushing me away with the other, struggling not to let me touch him.

"Okay, Dad won't steal from you, you can eat."

I quickly let go to comfort him, and he nestled back into my arms, arched, sucking on the pacifier, and fell into a sweet dream again.

If I have to say, there is still a close connection between me and Qin Yuan now, then there is only this carefree little baby in my arms who can eat and sleep.

Although I always yell, the baby is my own child, only my own baby.But no matter what, there is a blood relationship between him and Qin Yuan that I cannot cut.

This is not a connection that I can deny by washing off the mark in the future. No matter where Qin Yuan and I are, whether we have a new and closer relationship, he and I will always be the biological father of the child, and this will never happen Change.

In order not to be influenced by him, I have to learn to be strong, so that I have enough ability, at least to ensure that the child's growth conditions are relatively favorable, so that I can feel at ease and have the confidence not to care about this connection.

I bowed my head lovingly and kissed the baby's forehead, took out my mobile phone, typed quietly, and sent a message to Qin Yuan.

"I don't know when you will come to Italy, but I won't host you. Next Sunday is my son's birthday, and I decided to take him to visit the small town of Norcia, if you have no other ideas. That day You didn’t need to contact me specifically before, and you didn’t need to pick us up in the Chinese area that day, we’ll take a bus directly to the town, and then we’ll find a cafe to gather.”

After thinking about it, I added another sentence:

"I wish you a smooth journey and a safe landing."

The author says:

Qin Manxin: Don't grab my pacifier!