I don't want to play anymore

Long Yanzhao didn't know what he was doing either.

Maybe I haven't closed my eyes for a few days, my mind is dull, and my hands and feet can't be controlled.

So much so that by the time he realized it, he had already touched Gu Jingyuan's bed.

Gu Jingyuan still had the familiar scent of saponin on her body.

The moment he hugged the other party from behind, suddenly, the emperor's heart was fixed.

The empty embrace finally hugged the opponent's thin body again, Long Yanzhao sighed contentedly, and all previous hesitation faded away.

What kind of face... As long as you can hug him like this, everything is worth it.

"Ayuan...don't be afraid, I just want to talk to you."

Gu Jingyuan, who had been acupunctured, couldn't move, and Long Yanzhao himself was tense.

He found a comfortable position for the other party, asking him to lean in his arms, but still kept his back to himself.

...The emperor now lacks the courage to look directly into Gu Jingyuan's eyes.

Fearing that people would be cold, they even wrapped them up with quilts.

Then, Long Yanzhao gently pressed against his back.

"But I... don't know what to say. Why don't we just have a heart-to-heart talk? I have never told you about my affairs before, and Ah Yuan never told me about my own affairs... I will talk about my affairs I'll tell you everything, so you can tell me everything about you, okay?"

As he spoke, Long Yanzhao half raised his body to see Gu Jingyuan's reaction.

But Gu Jingyuan had already closed his eyes.

...Even if he didn't cover the opponent's eyes with his hands, Gu Jingyuan didn't want to look at him.

This recognition made Long Yanzhao feel a little sour.

But even the other party said that he didn't love him and was just using him, he could bear it, and he could still rush over here... Obviously, the emperor didn't take this slight rejection to heart.

...It's all here, so let's try again for the last time.

He also thought a lot these days, and he really didn't care much about Gu Jingyuan.

He doesn't know where his knowledge and talent come from, or why he likes to wear red clothes.

Apart from liking spicy food, he didn't know what other things Gu Jingyuan liked or what hobbies he had.

He didn't even ask how he got such a long scar on his brow bone.

Why didn't you ask?

Because I feel unimportant.

Because Gu Jingyuan never needed him to ask.

He is well-behaved, sensible, restrained and powerful.

He always appeared by his side in every possible way, as if he didn't have half of his own temperament, no edges and corners to speak of, smooth and smooth like jade.

But it is also this warm and moist jade, if it sticks to the skin and wears it for a long time, people will ignore it.

……

But ignoring the other person is actually wrong.

Gu Jingyuan is also human and real, and obviously he also has emotions.

He just doesn't ask.

Although this "not asking for it", from the current point of view, it is most likely because in Gu Jingyuan's eyes, he can't give him anything, and he can earn what he wants, so he doesn't ask for it.

but……

Think of it as compensation for the previous indifference.

the last time.

He wanted to ask about Gu Jingyuan's wet eyes.

The youth's eyes were unwilling to open no matter what, and Long Yanzhao didn't care either.

"Then it will be regarded as your agreement. I will say it first, and then Ah Yuan will say it."

The emperor grinned for a while, then lay down again with a big grin.

Long Yanzhao still didn't know what to say as his long arms wrapped around the narrow waist that haunted him in his dreams.

"Then let me tell you about my childhood? In fact, there is nothing to say. I actually have very little memory of this capital."

As a child with the greatest potential, he lived a pretty good life.

He has very little impression of his mother, but his father loved him very much at that time. Before he was seven years old, he was the most honorable master in the palace.

And then after being accused of punishing six relatives.

In those two years, the father's health was getting worse and worse, and King Hao, who was almost born with him, was still sick, so the father listened to the sorcerer's slander and sent him out of the palace.

"That's where I met Aqi."

Having said this, Long Yanzhao raised his head to look at Gu Jingyuan's reaction.

Gu Jingyuan still didn't respond... His eyes were opened earlier, but he just looked forward calmly, without any fluctuation.

The corner of Emperor Yuwen's mouth pulled out a far-fetched arc.

That's right, Ah Yuan doesn't even like him, so why would he care about his past with Ah Qi...

Long Yanzhao said intermittently.

Say what comes to mind.

"A Qi came here this time, I hope I will send troops to help him, but I always feel that he has changed... different."

"I have discussed with Prime Minister Yang that we can send troops to help him, but the condition is that he sign a contract between the two countries. But Aqi does not agree."

"...I am the king of a country, how can the king of a country play tricks? I can give him my life back, but I can't accompany him with great soldiers and national power..."

"A Yuan... did I do something wrong?"

Gu Jingyuan was still speechless.

He had already closed his eyes again, as if he had fallen asleep.

Long Yanzhao gently fiddled with a lock of his long hair.

Ah Yuan's hair is black and shiny, but soft and soft, easy to touch.

Subconsciously scratching his cheek with the tip of a hair, the emperor felt fresher.

In the past, except for sleeping, he had never held Gu Jingyuan in his arms for such a long time.

Observe him, hug him, and scrutinize his every hair.

never had……

"I don't know whether it's me who has changed, or Ah Qi who has changed. In the past, Ah Qi... never forced anyone to do anything difficult. This time, he wanted to seize the throne, and he borrowed fifty thousand soldiers from me as soon as he asked, and refused to sign any conditions... ...Don't say that I can't convince hundreds of officials and people, even I myself can't convince myself... I would rather assassinate the Beirong Prince personally for him, but I really can't send troops to help him..."

"I'm not saying that he shouldn't come to me... It's just that I can't help him with this request..."

"Actually, a long time ago... less than a year after I returned to the palace, A Qi also wrote to ask me for help once. That time..."

Long Yanzhao didn't notice Gu Jingyuan who kept his eyes tightly closed in front of him, and suddenly opened them.

He said: "That time A Qi didn't write anything in the letter, he only asked me to borrow a dozen people... But that letter was much more sloppy than what he wrote to me before, I felt something was wrong, At that time, I really wished I could find him in person, but...it was just that I was sick at that time."

Gu Jingyuan's eyelashes twitched.

But Long Yanzhao was also caught in the memories that entangled him, and he didn't notice it.

His tone was slow and his voice became even hoarse: "I've been ill for almost a year."

"I don't know what kind of illness I have. It's just festering and sores all over my body. I have a high fever and it's hard to get out of bed... During those days, I seemed to have walked around the gate of hell countless times. But the facts have proved that my life is really hard." .”

Long Yanzhao smiled lightly, not feeling happy, but with a hint of self-mockery.

"It's just that after I survived and recovered from my illness, I went back to investigate and found that... although there is no clear evidence, all the evidence points to my mother's mother..."

"It was my mother who poisoned me."

"She... wants to poison me to death."

I don't know when, Long Yanzhao's voice became choked up.

If you want to take out the most painful scar buried deep in your heart and tell others.

It is bound to experience a burst of flesh and blood.

Even the Ninth Five-Year Venerable would be so painful that his mind would be agitated.

Even if he was that Long Yanzhao who was beaten, scolded and bullied by everyone when he was a child, he would not cry.

Gu Jingyuan's eyelashes trembled even more.

But he was tapped on the acupuncture points, so he couldn't speak or move.

He could only let the people behind him hug him tightly.

It's been a long, long time.

"It was the king of Yan and the king of Guangping who entered the capital successively, and this minister saved his life."

Long Yanzhao's voice returned to normal.

"Later, my relatives were weak, and my mother could only rely on me again, and I have lived a healthy life until now. About my illness, the queen mother said that it was a strange illness, and if it was spread, it would shake the hearts of the people, so she issued a death order, and no one is allowed to Bring it up again."

"I don't really blame her. It's my bad life that hurt her."

"But I hate her. So what did I do wrong?"

"As for that King Hao, don't expect me to be responsible for him. I'm not an evil star. I was just killed by a traitor, and my father believed that I was a evil star."

Gu Jingyuan closed his eyes again.

A drop of clear tear fell from the corner of the eye, silently, soaked into the pillow towel, and disappeared.

Until a long time later, Long Yanzhao, who had finished complaining about King Hao, looked at his profile again.

……

All the beauty in the world is condensed on this face, he wants to kiss that cheek, or kiss his lips.

But before he could move, he stopped again.

The emperor lay back down again, hugged Gu Jingyuan tightly, and buried his head in his pouring black hair.

"Later, I met Ah Yuan." His voice full of infinite nostalgia sounded.

The days together with Gu Jingyuan seemed ordinary at first, but after looking back now, it is far from ordinary.

Because every day is sweet.

Not as intensely sweet as candy.

But it is the kind of subtle, memorable sweetness.

He doesn't have many good memories in his life.

So it's very detailed.

Even if there is no need to confess, because the person involved is in his arms.

There is no need to think about it carefully.

At this moment, the sluggish brain became extremely clear again, and the pictures of being with Gu Jingyuan in the past are all vivid in his memory.

But Long Yanzhao still couldn't help thinking carefully, recalling every detail he didn't notice, and spoke very slowly.

A little bit to tell about those years that were once thought to be ordinary, but now they can no longer have.

Not willing to finish.

So when I said it, I talked about the dawn.

In Gu Jingyuan's hoarse voice, he fell asleep peacefully at some point.

Quietly drawn into his arms, the body that had been released from the hole automatically wrapped itself tightly in the quilt, forming a ball.

Long Yanzhao's voice became hoarse, so he stopped talking.

Just look at this person's sleeping face like that.

The memory can't go back, so can he have Ah Yuan again?

Long Yanzhao didn't know.

In the end, he chuckled, and scratched Gu Jingyuan's handsome and straight nose from the air.

"By the way, look at me, I'm digressing when I talk about it."

Probably because he really said it very casually, he was obviously talking about A Qi just now.

……

That time when A Qi asked him for help, although he was ill and unable to go out of the palace at all, but luckily the person he trusted the most was at the border of Beirong, so he was sent directly there.

It was only later that I realized that I was thinking too much, A Qi was fine, and instead became King Beirong's favorite child.

Later, A Qi wrote him the last letter, asking him not to worry about it anymore and saying goodbye to him...

They never contacted again.

Fast forward to today...

Long Yanzhao did not say these things again.

He didn't wake up Gu Jingyuan, but got up gently, helped Gu Jingyuan cover the quilt again, turned out of the yard as if he had never been here before, and rode directly to the direction of the capital.

In the end, he still didn't bring Cheng Yinzhuo into the palace.

In the past few days, the other party has sent people to remind him several times, but he has always avoided it.

But at this moment, Long Yanzhao suddenly understood.

Realize how indecisive I used to be.

He couldn't pay back what he owed to A Qi.

But if you don't like it, you don't like it.

If he can't let go of Ah Qi, how can he love Ah Yuan openly and openly?

If Ah Yuan can't give anything, how can he have the nerve to ask the other party to regard him as the first?

While the galloping horse galloped, Long Yanzhao only felt that he had cleared a layer of thick fog.

When I changed my mind to think about things, I felt suddenly enlightened, and finally understood what I had been thinking in my heart all along.

——The reason why he only dared to come to Ah Yuan in such a sneaky way now, he was obviously very angry with him, but also faintly felt that he lacked confidence and dared not really blame Ah Yuan...

Isn't it because outsiders and Ah Yuan see that his mind has been wavering all the time?

He never expressed his liking for Ah Yuan to anyone.

Including in front of A Yuan himself.

How could she blame him for not liking herself?

……

Long Yanzhao hurried back to the capital and went directly to the post station.

Go find Cheng Yinzhuo.