door of eternal life

[Text of this chapter: The ending was doomed from the very beginning.The love in fairy tales is just the reflection of wishes that cannot be realized in reality.Kuo hugged him into his arms, but made an unintentional mistake in his eagerness. 】

Yu's business trip this time was relatively long, nearly a month.

After one o'clock in the middle of the night, Yu came back, smelling slightly of alcohol.After entering the door, he sat on the sofa, lowered his head, and remained silent.Qing knew that he was coming back today, so she stayed up all day, sitting on the bed reading a book and waiting.Hearing Yu came back, she got up from the bed, walked to him, sat down, stroked his face gently, and looked at him.

"I don't want to go on like this." Yu said flatly, without looking at Qing, "I want to get married and have my own family."

It was only ten months since Yu broke up with that girl.

At that moment, Qing finally understood that unless he was a woman and had no blood relationship with Yu, otherwise, Yu was destined to leave him.Because, he couldn't give Yu the normal family that Yu wanted, and he couldn't give Yu a child in his blood.Even if the time goes back to that winter vacation, at the beginning of that youthful, innocent and carefree beginning, today's ending is already doomed.It's just that they didn't know it at that time.Waves of pain spread from the heart to the palm of his hand, he clenched his fist tightly, his nails dug deeply into the palm of his hand.

After all, it is difficult for the romantic Jack and the realistic Ennis to stay together.

From Yu's blind date with women, there will be no more of him in Yu's future, or there will never be.

But at the time, he was too naive and too committed.Naively thinking that love can overcome all the "impossible", "impossible" and "not allowed" between him and Yu, naively thinking that what he gave up for love, what he insisted on, and what he resisted, Yu also You can give up for love, stick to it, fight against it, and naively believe what Yu said, "From now on, we will always be together."

It's ridiculous that I have a deep love, thinking that a moment is a lifetime, and a promise is forever.

When I was young and ignorant of the world, I provoked him, but at an age where I am no longer young and frivolous, why bother to provoke him again? !Provoke again and again.

Qing didn't say a word, what he should do and say, he had already said and done it a year ago, and there was nothing left.He needs to have some dignity for himself.He stood up, silently and quickly packed his clothes and supplies, he didn't bring much here at the beginning, just a suitcase, as if he was preparing for such a day.

He gently put the key on the coffee table, right in front of Yu, then picked up the suitcase, turned and closed the door to leave.

Yu was still sitting on the sofa, with his head leaning on the back of the sofa, eyes closed all the time, motionless.He heard the slight slam of the door, and dug his fingers deeply into the sofa.It took him nearly a year, and he endured it for nearly a year, and finally pushed Qing away again. He didn't even feel too much pain. Now, he wants to spend more time and energy imagining him. The harmonious and beautiful vision of the future family and actively set out to realize it, the sooner the better.He doesn't deny that he loved Qing, but that was the fairytale love he pursued when he was immature, and the fairytale is just the reflection of a wish that cannot be realized in reality.If Qing blocked his way to the complete and warm family he wanted to have since he was a child, he could only ruthlessly push Qing aside.At the same time, he feels that the family he wants and the youth he wants are not irresolvable contradictions, there will always be a way, but not now, he thought.

Qing drove aimlessly on the road in a daze, the street lights were dim, looking at the dark night, the silent buildings, the trees standing silently, the sky and the earth are vast, everywhere, where is it? his home.The red light was broken, and the green light stopped. There was a sharp and screeching sound of brakes piercing the darkness like a sharp and long thorn in the silent night. Someone next to him poked his head out of the car and scolded loudly.

If there is a thousand-foot cliff ahead, or an abyss, he will rush over without hesitation.

Somewhere, all the sense organs in his body seemed to stop working at the same time, he didn't even know that he had let go of the gas pedal, the car slid forward slowly and stopped slowly, stopped in the middle of the road, he was dazed Sitting on the ground, hearing nothing, seeing nothing, the sound of the whole world is silenced, the lights of the whole world are turned off, and the stars of the whole world are dimmed.

If we hadn't been obsessed with staying together for the rest of our lives back then, if we had kept our sincerity and never delivered it, would it be different today?Could he also raise his head chicly and wave his sleeves.

Boom, boom, boom... I don't know what the sound is, from far to near, from light to heavy, it drills into his ears continuously, getting louder and faster, like a rapid drumbeat, as if someone is still playing Shouting something... It took him a long time to realize that someone was knocking on the car window.He turned his face away, and by the light of the street lamp, he saw a familiar face.

is wide.

Kuo Zheng looked in hard through the car window, Qing lowered the car window and squeezed out a bleak smile.

"It's really you! I'm ready to smash the glass!" Kuo didn't smile, his face was full of anxiety. He had been knocking for a long time, and he kept calling Qing's name, and finally couldn't start using it vigorously. He smashed his fist on the window of the car, and his hands were numb. Now, anyone can see that Qing is not in the right state, "I just came out of a bar with some friends, and my friends said that someone's car was parked in the middle of the road, so I felt Like your car, there are not many cars of your color, so if something happens, come and have a look."

"Oh, I'm passing by, take a break." Dazed, Qing didn't know how to explain that she stopped in the middle of the empty road before and after this time.

Kuo greeted his friends who were waiting not far away and asked them to go first, then said gently to Qing: "Qing, can you find a place to sit?"

Qing didn't speak, he knew what Kuo had seen, and he couldn't simply explain it away to Kuo, he didn't want to tell Kuo the truth, let alone lie to Kuo, and he didn't have the energy to explain it.He unlocked the car, sat in the passenger seat, and turned to look at him.He didn't start walking, his eyes were fixed on the dashboard, his hands were hanging on his lap, and he was still just sitting still.Seeing that the ring on his hand was gone, Kuo felt sad, grabbed Qing's hand and shook it vigorously, and asked in a low voice: "Qing, what's wrong with you?"

Tears streamed down Qing's face all of a sudden, Kuo turned sideways, held Qing in his arms, and did not move for a long time, letting Qing cry uncontrollably, his voice almost broke, and his whole body trembled unceasingly.

Kuo's eyes were red, staring out the window, his teeth clenched tightly.At this moment, he wanted to punch someone.

After a long time, Qing stopped crying. Kuo felt the stiffness and coldness of his body, so he patted Qing's back lightly and said in a low voice, "Shall I take you home? I'll drive."

When they arrived at Qing’s apartment building, they parked the car, and they got out of the car. The street lights were too dim, and Qing stood in the shadows. Kuo couldn’t see his expression clearly, so Qing said: “I’m home, it’s too late, You go back."

Kuo looked up at Qing's apartment on the top floor, and said, "Okay, you go upstairs, I'll go back right away."

Qing turned and left.He kept smoking one cigarette after another, and he kept looking up. For a long, long time, the blue windows were dark, until he saw a dim light diffuse into the dark night through the boundless solitude, Only then did he throw the cigarette butt on the ground, rolled it hard with his feet, and turned to leave.

——Qing saw that he was in a closed village with a group of people armed with wooden sticks and various agricultural tools, chasing and beating him frantically.The torrential rain poured on his head and body, and he could barely open his eyes. There was only one road out of the village, one intersection, and there was a checkpoint at the intersection.He was running in the heavy rain, trying to escape, the village road was muddy, he fell into the muddy water, the group of people chased him up, surrounded him, punched and kicked, sticks, shovels, rakes... denser than the rain hit him hard.Pain, pain, in addition to pain, still pain.He struggled to get out from the gap in the crowd, and staggered towards the checkpoint. He saw someone standing there guarding him, as if he was a very familiar and trusted friend. He saw clearly, it was Kuo!He ran to Kuo, he wanted to shout for help, but he couldn't, he ran desperately, as long as he passed that checkpoint, everything would be free.There is no rain over there, no one is chasing and beating him, all he needs to do is come over and give him a hand.Kuo saw him, but turned away coldly and indifferently.He froze in place, the torrential rain poured on him, and his chest was severely cracked by the heavy hammer... The anger, despair and sorrow of being betrayed completely crushed him. ——

Qing opened her eyes from her suffocation, nothing but darkness was still darkness.The nightmare attacked him hideously.He sat up from the sofa, poured a glass of wine, drank it with his head up, and lay back on the sofa.

Since then, Qing never saw Yu again, and also severed all contact with Yu.Yu sent a message to ask him if he was okay, but he never replied. He felt that such a dull greeting was meaningless now.

A year later, Yu got married.Before getting married, Yu came to Qing.

Yu didn't inform Qing that he was coming, he didn't want to say it, he was afraid that Qing would refuse him to come.When Qing opened the door, seeing him, she walked back to the sofa and sat down with the door open without saying a word.Yu followed in.

"I'm getting married. My home is in P City." Yu looked at Qing and said briefly, "We only met after we separated. It was introduced by Mr. Shan."

Qing didn't speak.

"I'm afraid you can't think about it, so I came here to tell you. We can't be together forever, and this step must be taken."

Qing didn't speak.

Yu didn't speak any more, sat down, turned to look at Qing for a while, and left.

Qing poured a full glass of wine, drank it all in one gulp, and lay down on the sofa.

When they got married, Yu didn't invite Qing, and Qing didn't go, Zilan helped Qing find an excuse to cover up.

Later, in Jinse Garden, Qing heard family chatting, saying that the girl lived in P City and worked in Yu's branch, and that she had known Yu before the branch was established, and that she was Mr. Shan's niece.

Qing's expression changed slightly, he got up and walked straight back to the room, closed the door, firmly grasped the doorknob, put his head on the door, his eyes were a little dark, he couldn't breathe, dizzy, his whole body was stiff, unable to move.

Yu lied to him again.again and again.

Zilan watched Qing go away, her nasal cavity was a little sore, usually she would deliberately avoid talking about Ji Yu in front of Qing, and would always try to avoid Qing and Yu running into each other at home.Qingtai made her feel bad, Yu grew up, but Qing was still that pure-hearted child.Every time Qing received Zilan's reply of "rest at home tomorrow", it felt like a knife was cut in her heart, and she would not go back to Jinse Garden the next day.But she can't make everyone do this, they don't know anything, they will smile and mention to Qing without any scruples, how luxurious Yu's wedding is, how beautiful the bride's wedding dress is, how beautiful Yu's family is, and the children How cute, they are so happy that Yu finally has a complete and happy home.After a while, seeing that everyone was not paying attention, she walked to the door of Qing's room, knocked lightly on the door, and said in a low voice, "Qing, open the door."

The door opened slowly and quietly, and Zilan saw a pale face, and there was pain in those absent-minded eyes that was trying to hide.Qing has never told Zilan everything about him and Yu, not before, not now, and never in the future.He knew that his sister had figured it out.Zilan walked in, closed the door, hugged Qing gently in her arms, and patted Qing's back gently and softly. Her little brother who was loved and raised by everyone seemed to have lost his only beloved at this moment. It is so sad and helpless to be blamed and reprimanded by the closest and most trusted person.

After dinner, Qing came back. As soon as he arrived at the apartment building, he saw Kuo walking towards him. Kuo said that he had just sent a friend back, and that friend also lived in this community.

Looking at Qing who was exhausted, with a bruised expression, dull and lonely, Kuo didn't know why he rushed forward with enthusiasm, reached out and grabbed Qing's arm, and said eagerly: "Qing, no matter what happened to you with whom, if you If you can open your heart to me, you will find that I am a man with a big heart, and I can tolerate everything about you!"

Why do you say this for no reason?What is he implying?What's the meaning?Did he investigate him?What did you find? ...Qing felt the anger of being spied on, gritted her teeth tightly, and breathed heavily. It took a while to calm herself down, and squeezed out a sentence from between her teeth: "What do you mean?!" After finishing speaking, He struggled for his arm, but Kuo didn't loosen it, he struggled again, Kuo's hand loosened immediately, dropped, and watched him turn and walk away in a daze.

Qing never looked back.

Kuo felt like he was cast into hell all at once.He angered Qing, he should know that Qing's sore spot cannot be touched, Qing has never treated him so coldly and hard.Kuo punched the wall fiercely, annoyed at his abruptness, how could he be so impatient.

When Qing returned home, he didn't want to think about anything, he didn't dare to let himself think about anything, he was really too tired, he was afraid that he would do something reckless again.He took a shower, turned on the TV, poured a glass of wine, held his breath, and drank it in one breath. He wanted to vomit after a while, and held back with all his strength, hugging a big pillow, curled up into the sofa, and he pressed against the sofa , Wanting to bury himself deeply, with the help of alcohol, he quickly fell asleep.Qing performed a series of almost stylized movements proficiently and smoothly.

For a long time, he didn't even dare to sleep on the bed anymore. Lying alone on the bed was empty, as if lying on the edge of a cliff, without any support. If he turned over, he would fall down and be smashed to pieces.He always got himself drunk, curled up on the sofa, turned on the TV, closed his eyes, and let himself fall asleep as soon as possible.Ever since breaking up with Yu, it has been like this every day.

By the time Qing gradually got used to the life without Yu and was able to go back to bed again, more than two years had passed.