I'm a mustard omega

For the first time in my life, my brain, which was not working well, went down for a very long record.

Until I was stunned and out of breath by Yan Jiuxiao, an old hooligan who took me into the Civil Affairs Bureau, took a photo, signed my name, took a physical examination, drew blood, got my certificate, went through all the procedures, left the Civil Affairs Bureau, got on the car and came to Yan Sitting in Jiuxiao's apartment in his quaint living room, my brain, which has been down for a long time, crunched and received the blurred and extremely distorted signal more than an hour ago.

I was dumbfounded and asked the old profiteer Yan Jiuxiaoyan who started rummaging through boxes and cabinets as soon as I entered the house, busy like a hamster moving: "What are you talking about?"

Old Yan, a profiteer, came to me like a whirlwind, stuffed a stack of colorful documents into my arms, and happily replied: "I'll give you all."

I--

what?

Is it this sentence?

Why don't I feel like it?

I looked down suspiciously—

Real estate certificate, land deed certificate, stock certificate, ID card, savings card, credit card, medical insurance card, membership card, account book, account book, medical book diary...

I seriously doubt that Yan Jiuxiaoyan's little hamster has dug out all his family fortunes.

But why is there a diary here?

With a long way to go and a long way to go, I opened it with the fearless spirit of searching up and down:

[Saturday, July 7th is sunny

The little brother finally agreed to go on a date with me, so happy! 】

I……

I rely on?

Is this little brother talking about me?

I didn't expect the profitless old profiteer Yan Yan to be so cute in private, what should I do if I really want to lick his stupid hair?

I looked up suspiciously, and the little hamster Yan, who had started rummaging through boxes and cabinets as soon as he got home, had gone to another room to plan his own property.

I had no choice but to rub my fingers enviously, and continued to explore Yan Xiaohamster's spiritual diary:

[However, why do you want to watch "One Time, Two Parts" instead of "A Hundred Years of Love"?And why did the little brother sleep during the one-and-a-half-hour movie?Is the movie too hypnotic or am I too hypnotic? 】

I……

If time could be turned back, I really want to slap myself to death with a slap in the face.

[Forget it, it's probably because my little brother didn't sleep well last night, and if I make up another ticket, maybe my little brother will wake up. 】

I……

Be good, I didn't expect Yan Xiaohamster to be so caring.

[The performance is over again, and the little brother is still awake...]

I……

Poor little hamster.

[Another show is over, my little brother seems to be sleeping more soundly...]

I……

The little hamster is so pitiful, how could I treat him like this!

[Another performance is over, little brother... Thank God, little brother finally woke up! ! ! 】

I……

Thank goodness!If I don't wake up again I want to kill myself!

【...The little brother actually said that he wants to go home and continue to catch up on sleep! ! ! 】

I……

Is it too late for me to kill myself to avenge the little hamster? !

Filled with righteous indignation, I continued to read:

【I'm so worried!

The little brother looks so tired, does he have my baby! ! ! 】

I--

WTF!

The child is actually Yan Jiuxiao's? !

Yan Jiuxiao, the old rascal, this bastard, went crazy for a long time and killed me half my life, so it turned out to be a thief shouting "Stop a thief?" !

I was stunned and stood up anxiously. My brain, which had been down all the way, was miraculously connected to the previous signal under the sudden impact of this wave of explosive news. I realized that not only did my son belong to the profiteer Yan Lao, but now I myself became the legal partner of the profiteer Yan Lao.

TMD!

I think I'm at a big loss!

What about my perfect blind date?What about my romantic proposal?Why did I just skip these necessary procedures and somehow get pregnant with his cub and get a certificate with him? !

It must be a trap!A common trick used by profiteers!

If I can spare this profiteer bastard today, I will not be a good man!

I looked up sharply, and saw that the old hamster Yan Jiuxiaoyan was walking down the stairs holding an antique box.

I closed the diary and smiled brightly at him, showing the standard eight teeth: "Little brother?"

"Ah?" The old hooligan Yan Jiuxiao stood on the stairs in a daze, and when he saw the diary in my hand, he screamed, and it blew in front of me like a whirlwind, "Ah! I took the wrong one! That's not it. Give it to you, give it back to me!"

I hid the diary behind my back like lightning, and smiled more than a profiteer: "You answer me a question first, and if the answer is correct, I will return it to you."

"What's the question?" Yan Jiuxiao asked with a guilty look on his face.

I picked up the gimmicky keyboard that Yan Jiuxiao bought, and while vigorously pressing the buttons, I said with a sinister and cunning smile: "You said, when you are sixteen years old, you can force sex with others regardless of their wishes. Those who give birth to a relationship and cause her to become pregnant should be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than a few years?"

Yan Jiuxiao: "..."

The radiant and handsome face of Yan Jiuxiaoyan's little hamster suddenly turned pale, and he put down the box in his hand with a dead face, and replied with a dead face: "More than three years, less than ten years."

I nodded and continued to smile sinisterly: "So, are you going to surrender now or wait for me to file a lawsuit in court?"

"..." Yan Jiuxiaoyan's little hamster stood dumbfounded for a long while, then picked up her cell phone and dialed the alarm.

I--

I didn't expect Old Yan, a profiteer, to know his mistake so righteously, so he changed his righteousness and killed his relatives and killed himself!

His generous behavior like a strong man breaking his wrists made it impossible for me to play the script that I had finally played for a long time.

I quickly reached out and snatched his mobile phone, grabbed his collar and reprimanded him: "Am I relying on you to be stupid? You really want to turn yourself in! If you go in, we will be orphans and widows! Forget it, forget it, I won’t fight with you anymore, my brother has a lot of adults, so I will forgive you for this!"

"Linlin, you..." Yan Jiuxiaoyan's little hamster asked in disbelief, "You don't blame me?"

"Why should I blame you?" I patted the dust that didn't exist on my hands, and poked Yan Jiuxiaoyan's little hamster's neck, "I have no right to blame you either. You made me pregnant, and I marked you, the two of us Evened out."

Little Hamster Yan's eyes widened in disbelief: "How do you know..."

"Do I really think I'm stupid?" I took advantage of Xiao Yan's stunned hamster and poked him secretly on the top of his head, stroking his black and smooth hair, "I haven't seen pork before." Have you ever run away from a pig? Any fool can tell that the mark on your neck was not scratched by a cat. Besides, I don’t know what my estrus is like? Otherwise, you think the handcuffs in my room What are the shackles for? Besides, whether you tell me your location or not, I can find you without any mistakes, don't you think this is too weird?"

Yan Jiuxiao continued to stare blankly: "You already knew?"

"No, I was just wondering before, but now I'm sure."

"Then..." Yan Jiuxiaoyan's little hamster was full of surprises, her hair was messed up, "Then you agreed to be with me?! That's great, I'll prepare for the wedding right away! Are you staying tonight?"

I--

I feel that if I don't come home tonight, my stern Alpha father and my mother-in-law's Alpha brother will definitely break my dog ​​legs.

I returned the property that Yan Jiuxiaoyan's little hamster dug out to him and asked him to put it away and not shake it out casually, to see if it was too early, I took my test results and decisively bid farewell to Yan Jiuxiao and went home.

I think before I officially move in with Yan Jiuxiao, I have to find the perfect time, place and people to explain to my parents that I am pregnant with Yan Jiuxiao's cub and have a private relationship with him without causing the old couple to have a heart attack. It's a matter of life and even a certificate.

However, I waited for a whole day with peace of mind, and I didn't wait for this perfect opportunity. Early the next morning, my dad didn't even say hello and took my mother on a trip. It was the kind of trip that lasted a month.

I……

I sat in the empty restaurant with a sad face and worried for a long time, and decided to discuss countermeasures with the old profiteer Yan.However, as soon as I stepped out of the house, a group of reporters rushed up from all directions on the empty street, and surrounded me like ants hunting for food. I poked my face in the quiet gate of our house and unexpectedly turned into a noisy night market.

"Mr. Lin, some witnesses said that you appeared in the obstetrics area three days ago and had a color ultrasound examination. Are you pregnant before marriage?"

"Mr. Lin, can you tell me who the father of the child is?"

"Mr. Lin, some witnesses claim to have heard you say that the father of the child is not your current object. Do you have any explanation for this?"

"Mr. Lin, as the spiritual leader of the Anti-Third Party Alliance, do you think your current behavior is cheating?"

"Mr. Lin, may I ask..."

"Mr. Lin..."

"Forest……"

I--

I don't know which bastard it was that got me pregnant, but I know that the bastard who got it out must have no good intentions.

I was disturbed by a group of ants-like reporters, and I was so upset that I gritted my teeth and stomped my feet and risked being fined by the city government until there was no pants left. I yelled: "Shut up!"

The noisy crowd fell silent for a second under my yell. I was ready to face the murder scene in front of my house, but I saw this group of reporters taking out their gas masks in unison. Well-trained, he put it on his face, and continued to criticize me through the loudspeaker on the gas mask: "Mr. Lin, the words of the people are better than the words of the Sichuan, please don't avoid the question!"