John Snape of HP

From the very beginning, Snape knew the fact that John would dislike him sooner or later.

This premonition has been hanging in his heart like a shadow.

It has nothing to do with his ugliness, nor his low self-esteem, it's just a habit engraved in his bones.

It had been like that for as long as Snape could remember - whether it was Tobias and Irene, or Lily.

Everything he wants will be lost.

It was like a curse of doom attached to his soul.

He was rejected by all the good things he hoped for, family affection, friendship, love... As time passed, he no longer had hope, so he would no longer despair.

Meeting John was just an accident.

He used John's death to recognize his feelings, and he hoped again in despair. He couldn't help but hope that the curse of bad luck would not be fulfilled again, and it would end on John.

All Snape had longed for was for someone to love him, though he'd never wanted to admit it.

——But now it seems that he is still delusional.

"Mr. Snape, are you really unaware?" His voice was cold and sarcastic.

John looked completely bewildered.

He was speechless, with an unbelievable expression: "Severus, did you read it wrong? I, how could I hate you?"

"John. You think you are full of feelings for someone... But your feelings are not as deep as you think. "

Snape's voice softened a little, he looked at John calmly, raised his slender fingers, and landed on the corner of John's brow.

"This is outrageous!" John couldn't help retorting, "You're not me, how do you know I don't love you that much?"

...otherwise why do you subconsciously feel disgust?

Snape felt he was too tired to be sarcastic about John, leaving only a hollow peace in his heart.

The happiness during this period is like a castle in the air, the shadow of the moon in the water, he has been looking forward to it, but there is always a place in his heart that tells him that these happiness do not belong to him, and will always be returned.

Now that this step was finally reached, the sword of Damocles had fallen, and Snape felt very peaceful in his heart.

...Look, he is still the same bad boy in Spider's End who was rejected by everything.

Nothing has changed.

Snape's eyes were empty and calm, and he said in a toneless voice: "It's not that you don't have feelings, you just stubbornly think that you still like me deeply."

"John, you just don't admit it."

A trance flashed in John's eyes, and he couldn't help but tilt his head to avoid Snape's fingers.

This kind of performance fell into Snape's eyes, and it was only a matter of course.

He coldly pulled John's relaxed arms away, and prepared to Apparate again.

"Wait - it's not like this, Severus!" John suddenly recovered and hugged him tightly again.

"You said I just didn't admit my dislike for you, but I never felt that way!"

John retorted and grabbed Snape by the collar, pulled him closer, blocked the man's lips fiercely, and actively poked in, plundering inch by inch, with very rough movements.

Snape didn't resist, but he didn't pander to it either, he just let John move without moving.

"Look! I really like it!" John let go suddenly, panting and glaring at him.

"I like you for who you are! That's why I like kissing you, sleeping/sleeping with you, everything about you, want me to prove it?"

He looked down Snape's waist provocatively, ready to move.

"No—" Snape realized that if he didn't stop John would actually make a move.

He could see that the intimacy and affection in those blue eyes were genuine.

—But John’s dislike before was also real.

"What happened to your retching just now?" Snape asked.He realized something was wrong.

"I don't know either." John breathed a sigh of relief seeing that the crisis was finally resolved.So he replied with an aggrieved expression, "I just suddenly felt like retching - I even forgot why I wanted to go to the study."

Snape frowned, swung his wand and swung the detection spells one by one.Among the large expanse of green light, a dazzling red light is very conspicuous.

Snape froze in disbelief.

"Severus? What's this?" John wondered.

"This is - the stability of the soul." Snape still didn't recover.

The author has something to say: Because of Snape's past experiences, he had a preconceived idea that John loved him, but not deeply.Even when he started to hate him, he subconsciously ignored it, unwilling to admit that their relationship was not strong.

He believes that no matter how long it takes, there is only one ending for them in the end, and that is to separate.

I feel sorry for the professor, he has wanted love all his life, but no one has given it to him, and the inertial thinking formed from this.

(Just edited the text and added a paragraph)