Spring and autumn

As the sun sets, the team returning from the funeral is slowly walking on the mountain path, and the van with no decoration is driving in the middle of the team.

Ying Du put down the curtain of the van, looked back at Xun Yao who had been crying all the way, had stopped sobbing, and was so tired that he fell asleep in Jin Guang's arms, Jin Guang had been in a trance, looking even more tired than Xun Yao , but still refused to close his eyes.

He has been like this for more than ten days.During the more than ten days of taking care of Xun Hui's funeral, of course Ying Du was making the decisions. Jin Guang didn't participate in any small discussions. language.At the beginning, she was crying obsessively, but now it seems that the tears in her eyes have all flowed out, but her expression is in a trance.He didn't take rest seriously either, and one night he couldn't stand it any longer, and was carried on the couch by Ying Du, but in a daze, he tugged on Ying Du's sleeve and refused to let go, all he could say was "Zi" Benevolence".

Ying Du felt very uncomfortable. On the one hand, he was helpless in the face of Jin Guang, and on the other hand, he felt ashamed of Xun Hui.Logically speaking, the death of a doctor cannot be completed in a hurry in only a dozen days. This is still unethical for ordinary officials, let alone a prime minister like Xun Hui who can already stand shoulder to shoulder with the princes.However, Tonglao Pass has limited conditions, and the opposite Jin State is eyeing it covetously, and Xun Hui is charged with treason again, so Ying Du has no choice but to conduct the funeral in a low-key manner.Regarding this point, he thought of countless reasons to explain to Jinguang, but none of them worked in the end. Jinguang didn't care how grand the funeral was. The gorgeous funeral is just for others to see.

However, in Qin's territory, Jin Guang knew that the person Duke Qin cared about the most was indeed getting thinner day by day.Ying Du clutched the curtain and didn't let it go immediately. He frowned, knowing that there was no hope, but he still wanted to comfort him again: "Xiao Guang, your complexion is very bad. This time the dust has settled, and Yao'er has already fallen asleep. , you take a break too."

Hearing him say Yao'er, Jin Guang looked down at Xun Yao in his arms in a trance, as if he didn't realize that the child had fallen asleep in his arms, a look of surprise flashed across his face, and then he shook his head blankly , said hoarsely: "I'm not sleepy."

"The voice is like this, and you still say you're not sleepy?" Ying Du leaned over, hugged Jin Guang's shoulders from behind, and persuaded, "There is still a while before returning to the customs, so you can just sleep for a while."

Jin Guang did not resist his embrace, but still shook his head, and said softly: "No, as soon as I close my eyes, I will think of Ziren's blood—there is blood everywhere, on his body, on my sword , in my hand... he is smiling at me, I am a murderer, his body is slowly getting cold under my sword... getting cold... as cold as ice... he can't wake up again Yes, it was my fault...I killed him with my own hands...there was blood everywhere..."

He spoke like he was in a trance, his voice was still weak, but he became more and more nervous, his trance expression seemed to be unable to distinguish dreams from reality.Jin Guang struggled in extreme fear, his trembling voice began to speak incoherently, Ying Du could no longer sit idly by, hugged him tightly into his arms, and said in a soft and firm voice, "Xiao Guang! Wake up! Wake up !"

His voice and his embrace were like a ray of light shining into the heart covered by the dark mist. After comforting again and again, Jin Guang's mood gradually stabilized, and he gradually stopped trembling in his embrace. He pursed his pale lips tightly, and a drop of cold sweat slowly dripped from his forehead.

Hearing his breathing gradually stabilized, Ying Du sighed distressedly: "You put them in an important position, but why have you ever thought about yourself? Mi Feng is dead, Xun Hui is dead, but you are still alive, alive The only thing people have to think about is how to live, there is no need to think about the meaning, living is the meaning!"

"To be alive...is that the meaning..." Jin Guang repeated his words in a daze, raised his head in his arms, and received affirmative glances.

"Someone killed Xun Hui by your hand, do you want to degenerate yourself to make those people happy? Xun Hui's death in your hands fulfilled his thoughts. Even if there is no you, if someone wants to kill him, he will use it There are other ways to put him to death. Don’t you want to know who is the black hand behind this scene? Are you going to shoulder all the crimes on their behalf and let them ignore it? Do you think Xun Hui will feel at ease if this is the case? "Ying Du went further, looking at the sleeping Xun Yao, "And Yao'er, he has changed his name to call you 'Abba', he was entrusted to you by Xun Hui, for the promise to Xun Hui, for the sake of This 'Abba', you also have to cheer up!"

"No! The disputes of our generation should not be passed on to the next generation!" At this point, Jin Guang suddenly became excited and began to respond to Ying Du's words, "Yao'er suffered this kind of ordeal when he was young, and finally escaped. I don't want him to harbor hatred in his heart."

"If you have such a plan, then do it!" He was able to jump out of a trance and respond to his own words. Yingdu had already seen hope, "How can you help him with your current state? Yaoer's life, what should I do in the future? , you should also make plans."

There was hope in Ying Du's eyes, but the hope that had just been ignited in Jin Guang's eyes was extinguished in an instant, and he lowered his head but felt ashamed: "His voice of 'Abba' seems to be unbearable. Ordinarily, I am a down and out son after all, I can't even save my own life, so how can I be a good father?"

He was completely different from the confident look he had when he first came to Qin. This was a change that happened under Yingdu's nose. Although he didn't want to admit it, it happened irreversibly.When he first came, he could still point to the majestic Duke Qin's nose and curse, talking about the plan to restore the country and the request for borrowing troops. Afterwards, Jin Guang became fragile and inferior, especially now, he lived in fear of death almost all the time, not worrying about himself, but for the cherished people around him, for the heart-wrenching pain that might come at any time .

He had no confidence, no confidence, fear of sharp weapons, fear of darkness, Ying Du didn't know how to comfort him, so he could only hug him tightly.For Jin Guang, in a world that suddenly became chaotic, only Yingdu's embrace is a good medicine. This embrace is irresistibly turning into a kind of nostalgia.

"I haven't really been a father either, so I don't know what makes a good father." Ying Du said slowly, "But it's considered experience, right? After all, I raised Meng Fu."

"Yingli?" Jin Guang, who was leaning on his arms, relaxed after coming and going, and asked suspiciously.

"Yeah." Ying Du responded, and when he mentioned Ying Li, he smiled slightly, "He has been with me since he was five years old. He has been with me for ten years, and he is much more mature than children of the same age. Let him be Kuihou, Considering his young age, I didn't send him to the fiefdom, but he not only completed the tasks I gave him, but also managed Kuizhou very well. I was pleasantly surprised by Yizhou, the fiefdom of Lord Cheng Heping. I think that boy Meng Fu seems to like Yaoer, the new younger brother, because Yaoer is always pestering you. , Meng Fu quietly looked at Yaoer outside the house several times. You said, you are also in Qin country anyway, so it is not a bad idea to let these two children grow up together..."

Ying Du said this long paragraph, the purpose is to make a suggestion for his son, Jin Guang is noncommittal, but just said lightly: "You are a good king, and you are also a good father."

As soon as he recovered from his trance, he became puzzling again. Ying Du curled his lips, not knowing how to answer.

Jin Guang closed his eyes lightly, his embrace was really comfortable, leaning against his soft and broad chest, surrounded by a great sense of security, aroused the suppressed drowsiness.Jin Guang's voice was still a little hoarse: "Tell me, why are there always rumors that Duke Qin is cruel and heartless?"

Ying Du smiled contemptuously: "People will always be blinded by the established knowledge. The so-called rumors have to be detected. If you really want to detect them, how easy is it?"

Jin Guang closed his eyes for a while, then suddenly opened his eyes and asked, "What kind of person do you think Zhao Xu is?"

"Huh? Why did you ask this suddenly?" Ying Du frowned.

Jin Guang raised his head to look at him, and explained: "Brother told me that before he realized that Zhao Xu had rebelled against him, he had frequent contacts with Qin State."

"He came to me on purpose at that time, asking Qin State to send troops to help him rebel, but I thought, this is your Jin State's internal affairs, and it is inconvenient for me to intervene, and secondly, Qin State will get no benefit from getting involved. He and Jin You are purely fighting for power, and there is actually no difference in the basis of their governance. The new dynasty has no new policies. For Qin, a principality outside of it, it is the same for anyone outside the Tonglao Pass .”

What he said was ruthless but reasonable, Jin Guang lowered his eyelashes, and quietly asked: "Since it doesn't matter whoever becomes the king, why are you starting to spare no effort to help me now?"

Ying Du was taken aback for a moment, and when he came back to his senses in an instant, he was about to say something when he felt that the carriage stopped suddenly, so he hugged Jin Guang tightly to prevent him from falling forward. Just as he was about to ask what happened, the van stopped. The curtain of the car was lifted from the outside, and Ying An, who was supposed to be in Gongcheng, broke in.

"Your Majesty, something serious has happened." Ying An said while lifting the curtain, glanced at Jin Guang with a serious expression, and then settled on the dissatisfied Ying Du, with a dignified voice, "Report from Wangcheng, the emperor has passed away." gone."