Those years when I was Mingzhu

Besides, Oda Tsukuru, who was barely rescued by your [backtracking] skill, he took those children and lived in a house near the sea, just like what he said when he was looking forward to the future with you in the Lupin bar, writing Reading his favorite novel.

You can always find books written by him on the shelves of major bookstores in Yokohama.

That's what's going on with the people you've been in some way connected with.

You are genuinely happy for them.

Although this change of mentality is still related to that guy Dazai Osamu.

At the very beginning, you always kept an outsider attitude, watching everything that happened in this "game" as a marginal bystander.

And when you didn't need to use your supernatural powers to save Oda as their family, the Dazai at that time stopped you who turned around and left.

"I always think that the almost omnipotent Zenitsu standing in front of me like this sometimes really looks like a cruel god."

Hearing the speech of the Second Secondary School where the Secondary School set up an NPC, it was rare for you at that time not to make complaints in the first place.

You know what he's trying to say.

Perhaps it was because you didn’t react at all when you learned of Odasaku’s death, or maybe it was because you clearly had the possibility of bringing Odasaku back to life but didn’t try it at the first time, which made Dazai vaguely aware of it... ...you are not of this world.

So at that moment, he stopped you, and reflected your face that didn't have too much emotion with his pair of deep and sharp kite-colored eyes.

"Look, you are always like this." For a moment, he lowered his eyelashes and smiled silently, "No matter what others say, you always have such an expression that you can't empathize with."

Many people say that the scary thing about Osamu Dazai lies in his shrewd insight, which can always be relied on to complete the control of the overall situation. After hearing what he said to you, you will believe it.

"It's as if the current Shanyi is not standing in front of me, but is outside the screen, holding the game console and pressing the buttons indifferently."

"..."

"—Ray (kaminari), god (kami), Shanyi-kun, you," he continued, his eyes darkened and his voice hoarse, "the way you deal with many things is cruel as if you are staring at the eyes Like the gods of the common people."

"—too indifferent."

You are silent.

Although the language is too secondary, but what he said is indeed correct.

From beginning to end, you seem to treat everything that is happening in front of you as a game most of the time.

You have not forgotten that this is not reality.

No matter how real this place is, no matter how flesh-and-blood the NPCs around are, after all, it is their own lives staged according to the script written in advance by the screenwriter.

Someone's life, someone's death, someone's collapse and despair are not in the hands of the person concerned, but completely in the hands of the screenwriter who directed all of these.

Just like the death of Oda Tsukuru, neither Gide nor Mori Ogai did it, but the producer who designed the game had already arranged for him to die.

It's like you in the original world line, who have witnessed and been aware of the haze that continues to spread in the heart of the leader Zai, and you just turned around and left in a normal way, and decided to let it go.

People who are not sure about saving people, things that are not sure about being accomplished, it is better to simply give up at the beginning.

It's just a game anyway.

There's no need to pay that much for it.

Don't forget business.

You thought so at the time.

In the end, you also pretty much broke up with Dazai.

Before even a good farewell could be made, the two parted ways.

He defected to the detective agency, but you are still in Hongkong.

……

……

Yes, you thought so at the time.

And you've had that mindset since you've been in the game.

You think that these people are NPCs, this is just a game, whether the thrown coin will show heads or tails when it falls, it has nothing to do with you.

You think so until you get on the plane and see the smiles on the familiar faces through the electronic light screen in front of you.

Amidst the background sound of the waves, the red-brown-haired man biting his pen cap and sinking into Calvin by the window occasionally looked up, and saw the seagulls flying across the sky and the approaching, energetic five people waving desperately at him under the blue sky. children.

Today is still noisy and full of laughter in the Armed Detective Agency, the man in glasses with golden braids joins forces with Nakaya, and it is another day of happy killing.

On the other side, Saiki Kusuo ate a spoonful of coffee jelly, tilted his head to look at you with a smile on his lips, and asked softly, "Do you regret it?"

You blinked, and your gaze swept across the faces of Atsushi Nakajima, who was persuading the fight in the light screen, and the faces of several other detective members who were watching the farce in front of you , raised his hand to turn off the screen.

You didn't answer, just closed your eyes gently.

If you say that the decision to rescue Oda Tsukuru was influenced by Dazai's expression at that time, it was completely manipulated by a mysterious force when you chose to pick him up.

You have no memories of the past.

But somehow, at that time, when you saw such a small group of cubs, you inexplicably felt a familiar and nostalgic sense of "I seem to have experienced it somewhere before".

That's why at that time, you meddled in helping that child.

As for Qi Mu asking you "regret or not", you think he may be referring to whether he regrets "consuming a lot of [backtracking] skills".

Qi Mu probably knew.

The original system told you that it was best not to rely too much on the skills it gave you.

Because of your special situation, once the skill value reaches zero or becomes negative, you may never be able to exit the game.

Gamble a large number of numerical values ​​to forcibly reverse the fate of several NPCs that have nothing to do with your reality. In simple terms, it is to throw you into SAO, so that you can "1. Turn a blind eye to the death of NPCs" and "2. Maybe forever Can't quit the game" and you choose 2 at this time, the chance of successful escape is slightly lower, and Qi Mu will not regret it after asking you.

To be honest, you don't know how to answer this question.

Because of no memory, you sometimes don't know whether you will choose A or B when faced with a certain choice.

Just like when asked by Qi Mu, because you don't know your past personality, you don't know whether you should answer "regret" or "no".

……

But, eventually, the part of the image on the light screen comes back to your mind.

From the residual image, you can clearly feel a warm and comfortable temperature like the sun.

Feeling this temperature, you seem to recall something.

In the past, was it because you ran away from something, or to avoid something, that you kept losing your memory like you are now.

Compared with the glamorous "Ningzhu" in the game, are you a coward who is always running away in reality?

You seem to think of someone, and you seem to just think of a certain temperature.

……

Your skull hurts a bit.

You pressed your temple, as if some memory was about to come out, but when you think about it carefully, you don't know the point at all.

In the end, you shook your muddy head, and relied on your current true thoughts to say the words that have long been in your heart:

"Perhaps, I don't regret it."

Probably, from this moment on, you no longer regard everything in front of you as just a game.

The author has something to say: Note: Shanyi’s mentality has changed a lot here

(I was moved by the ending of Oda who got he because of his appearance, and the ending of Nakaya, who is on the bright side of the world)

From the previous - only responding to threats to self-interest/regarding people around as NPCs, now → start to take the world seriously

Then because of this change, I didn't want to take care of the leader Zai at first, but in the end I was worried and went back and kicked the leader Zai's lunch box.

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