Continuation of "Gone with the Wind"

Chapter [-] Angela's Memories

But only equality can sustain love.Scarlett thought it was quite a trick.Recalling every conversation between Disen and Lanli when she was present, neither of them gave way to the other, full of gunpowder, probably because Disen did not want others to see through that he had been carefully giving way to Lanli, and it was difficult for him Every time he can stir up Lanli's fire, and then he can return victoriously. Although this is only a verbal victory, it doesn't mean anything, but at least it makes Lanli "see him differently", even if it leaves a bad impression on the other party. It's also better than being ignored.Scarlett thought this method was too childish at first, but now she finally discovered Disson's brilliance. Doing so could indeed gradually balance his psychological gap, and Lanli was not a woman so stupid that she didn't understand a man's mind at all. As long as you give her time to think about it, she will understand Disen's good intentions, and everything will be fine by then. She has always been considerate of others, and she certainly can't bear to watch Disen wait—even though Scarlett knew better than anyone that it was not the same thing as loving someone.Lan Li is such a kind of person, she can be kind to others unconditionally, and she is happy to accept their rewards, but the "goodness" she gives is strictly divided by herself, ensuring that each share is equal, Absolutely no exceptions are allowed.So when a person wants to ask her for more "goodness", even if he is willing to give her the same or even more "goodness" in return, she will never agree.Originally, what she needed was not a reward, and she had already received enough rewards when she gave.But Lan Li didn't know that the "exception" that treats one person better than anyone else is the true face of love.Scarlett originally thought that Lanli was a saintly person like Melly, but now she felt that she was actually more like her mother, the ascetic Ellen.

So she was also a little worried about the time it would take for Lan Li to accept this relationship.For the past ten years, they have been missed by the cruel torture of you chasing me and running away. Lan Li couldn't care less about this problem. Now that they finally meet again, seeing that the ten-year freeze is about to melt, Lan Li is afraid again ——She should be afraid, Scarlett doesn't mean to look down on her at all, because the enemy she needs to face is herself, two selves, one is the innocent girl Miss Landria who was shattered by the war in the past, and the other is It is Mrs. Walmont, the noble lady of the north assembled from repurposed fragments.In fact, she didn't want to put herself together at first, but at that time, the man she met named Disson spent ten years trying to put her back together again.Good deeds that go against the will of the recipient may seem great and selfless to outsiders, but to the recipient himself it means only humiliation.What is wrong is not the good deed itself, but a kind of deprivation of the receiver by the giver.

Scarlett didn't even know who she was sympathizing with now. This kind of feeling without prejudice or contempt rarely appeared in her heart. Who knew that when it appeared, it would bring her such a troublesome problem.Practically speaking, she should try her best to help Disson now, whether it is from the objective fact of asking for others or from the subjective psychology of being moved by his true feelings, but the difficulty she has to face is to persuade Lanli, even if she can He doesn't care about the guilt of betraying his friends for himself, but Lan Li is the most difficult type of person to deal with.She is gentle, yes, she is selfless, yes, she is considerate, and yes, she is considerate of others, which is even rarer, but she has one of the characteristics that is most difficult to be moved by emotions, she is too reasonable.Leaving aside reasoning, Scarlett has always been weak (it is true that she is better at making trouble without reason), even if she is eloquent enough to fight the crowd, she will definitely be speechless—Langli’s problem is a relationship problem , If reasoning is useful, you will be damned.If Scarlett went to help Langli instead, God knows how Deason would retaliate.For the sake of Rhett's safety, she thought for a whole morning, but finally came to the conclusion: wait and see what happens, stand still, and don't want to.It really frustrates her, and this feeling of powerlessness annoys her even more.Impulsively, she changed her mind just now, and no longer cared about Lanli and Disson's affairs. As long as Rhett was safe and sound, she could not care about other things.Whether the outcome of Lanli and Deason is good or bad has nothing to do with her. It is their housework, and she shouldn't get involved in it from the beginning. They didn't say that she must help. I still have a lot of things to do Why did she become so enthusiastic about helping others solve problems before she solved them? She had never been so kind before—oh, Scarlett couldn’t understand herself now.

The deviation of her mind prevented Scarlett from thinking about "other people's affairs", but "my own affairs" did not just need to be resolved.She couldn't think about Paul, it gave her a headache.When Scarlett saw Paul coming down the stairs at lunch, there was nothing unusual on her face—if there was any difference, it was because she was not used to it in someone else’s house, but the problem was that Scarlett felt that this child He talks and laughs freely everywhere, and it's not right for him to be so restrained.Being dependent on others for a long time will make the child's personality develop in two directions, one is the submissiveness of being humble, and the other is the cynicism like Paul.As for Jack, she couldn't tell what it belonged to.Frankly speaking, he is not considered to be dependent on others, at least she knows that this is definitely not how he positions himself in his heart.In short, except for Jack, Scarlett looked down on the first type, but she didn't appreciate the second type, but she would rather choose the second type.In fact, the same desire is hidden behind these two personalities, that is, to be valued and affirmed by others.Scarlett seldom delved into what other people were thinking. She just asked people not to lose confidence even if they showed confidence.

Scarlett wanted to see Paul a few more times. She tried her best to practice the kind smile of the elders towards the younger generation, but every time she saw his fiery red hair, the smirk she could barely squeeze was burned down to nothing. Heap of ashes.It's really useless, it doesn't matter if the adult's affairs can't be resolved, isn't it Scarlett who is timid in the face of a child?O'Hara.Scarlett scolded herself in her heart to cheer herself up, and slowly regained the feeling of being fearless.She stared wide-eyed at Paul, who was eating with his head down, but forgot to restrain the expression on her face. As a result, she seemed to have a sworn feud with him. She didn't scare Paul, but scared Angela beside her.The little girl was scared but also a little strange, aren't they relatives, why are they acting like enemies?Miss Scarlett in her impression was very amiable.

There is no class in the afternoon, Angela is still very happy, it’s not that she doesn’t like studying, it’s that she really hates the old antique teacher who taught her etiquette at school, this old maid is not as good as her mother, and she has no patience, she likes to be rigid A face like a plaster statue, although the eyes are small but sharp, you can see any small movements, and then there is a reprimand.Although Angela herself hadn't been caught, several of her friends had been caught for not paying attention, so she didn't like this teacher very much.Back home, I complained to my mother. Although my mother comforted her, she also said that she should be polite to people she doesn't like, but if she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it, and she can't force herself to like it.On the contrary, it was my mother who felt that she was too tired to live.When facing his father, he is also polite and considerate, more like a pair of tourists who meet by chance than like a loving couple, sometimes not as good.It's not that they like to quarrel, they seldom quarrel, the only time she saw it was in Atlanta, the two people even quarreled without warmth, cold.Angela really hoped that they would have a lively quarrel, the cold atmosphere frightened her.What scares her even more is that they are scrambling around her. Mom will tell her over and over that her father is not her real father. Her real father is a hero who died for the cause of the South, but when her mother shows her the photos But she was very disappointed, the difference between that weak guy and her current father was too far.Besides, I don't look like him at all. As for the business in the south, she really doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand, but she dare not tell her mother that, her mother will be sad.Angela loves her mother, but she prefers to stay with her father, who will fulfill all her wishes, no matter what she wants to do.Dad will not specifically emphasize what she should do, which makes Angela most happy, but mother will never let her temper go, and Dad dare not say anything about this kind of restraint, and he doesn't want to become a tomboy himself.Angela knows this, she works hard to fulfill the wishes of her father and mother, and wants to become a bridge that can bridge the gap between her father and mother, but the world of adults is far more complicated than she imagined. When I was just four or five years old, I was taken away by my mother, and the bridge collapsed.At that time, she didn’t know anything about it. Later, she asked her mother where her father had gone, and her mother didn’t say anything. She just kept training her to be a real lady. She wanted to use the southern environment to cut off her connection with the north. She almost succeeded. If it wasn't for more than a year ago, she took herself back to the north for psychological treatment.The southern blood in her body is her eternal root, but it was transplanted to the north by fate at the beginning. Although it was only a few years, it was enough for her to establish a constant connection with the north in her heart.Angela didn't dislike the South, but the weeks in Hartford reminded her of the North, and of Papa.Now that she has finally returned to the north, but the relationship between her father and mother is still lukewarm, she doesn't know what to do.