Continuation of "Gone with the Wind"

Chapter 11 Make up your mind

Scarlett stumbled out of Mammy's room, as if something terrible was chasing after her.Thank goodness no one saw her devastated.Ever since Mammy got sick, except for Will, almost everyone in Tara regarded her like a plague god and avoided her. How could they even think of going to see her?Right now, she couldn't care less about blaming anyone, she needed to be quiet, to be alone for a while, and to think about what Mammy had just said.

Back in her room, she closed the door carefully, and then felt that she had lost all her strength.She allowed herself to lie limp on the bed like a piece of melting ice, not caring that the bed had been dusty for many days.

Although the body is firmly controlled by the feeling of powerlessness, the mind is extremely active due to the sudden blow.It seemed that a fire that was about to be extinguished was pulled violently by a stick, but enough air was accidentally obtained.Mammy's words hovered in her mind like a persistent ghost, slowly blowing away the long-lasting fog in her heart.Despite her dismay, it was replaced by an even more frightening darkness.I've clearly encountered this feeling somewhere, but why can't I remember it?

She successfully forced herself to think about it later, but another thing still brazenly occupied her mind, forcing her to think about it.She had to cheer up and sort out her thoughts like a tired soldier returning to the battlefield.

She seldom thought about whether her mother loved her father or not before, and every time she accidentally thought about it, she would blush for herself, for fear that her mother would get angry because she knew what she thought.What's more, Mom is so kind to the whole family. She takes care of everything about Tara so carefully, and arranges everything in Tara in an orderly manner.Scarlett carefully recalled her mother's peaceful and peaceful face, her elegant and decent manners, she was so gentle and polite to everyone, never lost her temper, and was always thinking of others.Mammy must have misremembered when she was old, how could Mom not love Dad?But the vague memories of the past gradually became clear. Mom's eyes are always a pool of spring water of calmness. She has never seen Dad as obsessively as she saw Ashley. The helplessness of naughty children.Even she had always called Papa the polite Mr. O'Hara instead of Gerald as Rhett had called him.

"She must have treated Daddy as a child, as she had treated me," Scarlett admitted painfully at last. "But she never regarded him as her lover." She naturally understands how much her mother loves herself and how good she is to herself—she is so good to everyone—mom must love her father, but that's just A mother's love and responsibility for her child, not love.

"Then she's much better than me." Scarlett reluctantly excused her mother, "Look at how I coaxed Charles into getting revenge on Ashley and tricked him into marrying me; Trying my best to break up Frank and Suellen, forcing him to ask for debts all day long, showing him face when he doesn't follow his own way, and calling him a piece of trash; and Rhett, God, he knows me I don't love him, I married him for money, and when he left, I realized I loved him. At least Mom made Dad happy, but Charles and Frank were fools to the end, and I never let him They lived happily. Rhett is not stupid, at least he knows how to make himself happy." Now almost everything can remind her of Rhett, she can't stop it, so she just let this yearning torment her heart full of holes Well, anyway, after the pain is gone, it will not hurt.Habits are the panacea for any problem, even if you lie to yourself.Since everything will pass, let it pass.She sympathized with Papa, but thanked him for not knowing anything.Happiness was just an illusion to his mother, but it was real in his eyes. He was really happy, and that was enough; as for his mother, she didn't hate her at all, but felt sorry for her from the bottom of her heart.How can there be a daughter in the world who really hates her mother?Marrying a person who I have no love for, and living together for so many years, I have been burying my true feelings, and only before I die can I call out the name of my beloved without any scruples, how desolate it is .

"I must not be like my mother, marrying someone I don't love and being wronged for the rest of my life. If I can't get Rhett back, I would rather never marry someone else for the rest of my life." She knew that her mother's love for that Philip was no more than her infatuation with Axi back then. How polite, but at least now I understand that what I want is Rhett, which is much luckier than my mother. "Only Rhett can make me happy, and only I am suitable for him. He doesn't like those pretentious women at all." Scarlett finally made up her mind to take Rhett back.She knew that she had been afraid since she recovered from her illness, but she had been unwilling to admit it.A sudden illness drained her energy and courage, and she returned to Tara to find a place to recuperate, or to escape.But now her mother made her understand that some things cannot be avoided and must be faced.If she escapes, she will be in a lifetime of misery.She doesn't want to live a life of compromise like her mother, it will drive her crazy.She believed Rhett was too.

"If, if he doesn't love me anymore, let him fall in love with me again." She didn't notice the illogicality of this sentence, but just clenched her fists tightly.Very well, the long-lost strength returned, and she even felt a pinprick-like pain.It must be the mother who is blessing the daughter she loves the most and making her full of strength again.She seemed to smell the charming fragrance of beautiful cherry blossoms on her mother's body again, heard her mother's gentle whispers, and she even felt her mother's gentle hands touching her face.Oh, Mom, thank you for giving me the courage to pursue happiness again.