Continuation of "Gone with the Wind"

Chapter 47 Bar Night Talk

I didn't expect to feel so uncomfortable after finding out that I really fell in love with Rhett, and the origin of this uncomfortable feeling is that Rhett no longer loves himself.She will never forget what he said to her the day he left, and now it resurfaces in her mind. "My love has been worn out", "I have never been interested in patching the pieces together. When something is broken, it is broken. I would rather remember what it looked like when it was intact than fix it and stare at the cracks on it. Forever", "I don't care anymore".This last sentence was the most direct and hit her the hardest.If he really doesn't care anymore, what's the use of trying to save him?His will never wavered for her, never in the past, he fell in love with himself because they are similar, but now she has felt that the distance between them is getting farther and farther, so it is even more impossible, he wants to return to his gentleman , What he wants is peace and tranquility, which he has never thought about for him, and can't give him, even if she snatches such Rhett back, so what, what's the point?She loved the blockade warrior, the scoundrel with no respect for his name, not a stiff gentleman.For the first time in her life, she had doubts about what she was determined to do.This is because she has never won against Rhett, because Rhett will never compromise with her, the only bargaining chip in her hand before was his love, but she never cherished it, and now she has lost even this only bargaining chip , what else can she use to win back this gamble?She warned herself not to think so wildly, telling herself that Rhett must still love her, but she was just tired, and she was just afraid of being hurt again.But at the same time, she thought of her stupid pursuit of Ashley before. She wasted 14 years for him, but in the end she found that she didn't love him at all, and he wasn't worthy of her love.Is the same thing going to happen again now?She still has to waste the rest of her life for a man who doesn't love her. How many 14 years has she been able to withstand such a toss?She couldn't be more stupid, she still had her own life, her own children, and Tara.Rhett was right, she was selfish and unscrupulous, and she was most concerned about returns. If she put everything in and lost in the end, she would definitely regret it.She regretted too many things in these years. These things forced her not to think about her messy past, whipping her forward like a whip, never daring to look back to see what she had lost.Only now did she realize that she had thrown away too many things.

"I threw away happiness with my own hands. I don't blame others, but I can only blame myself for being too stupid." Scarlett thought silently, "Now I'm delusional that I can let Rhett come back casually. It's ridiculous. Since he is right I've already shown his attitude by saying that. He won't love me any more, so what's the use of me loving him any more?" But it was absolutely impossible for her to give up Rhett. "Rett is the only man worthy of my love. I will not give up on him. If I give up on him, my life is meaningless. He is my soul. But he thinks that I am not worthy of his waiting any longer. He is considering I decided to leave after I was clear. Maybe this is a relief for him. He has suffered too much from me. But I will not give up on him like this. I will do my best to make him happy, even if he is no longer Be with me, as long as he is happy. I, me, I don't care." Although she thought so in her heart, she still couldn't stop the fresh pain that kept gushing out like a spring.In the depths of her soul, which can never tolerate lies and deceit, she knows that what she longs for most is Rhett to come back and love her again.But her rationality reminded herself that this is no longer possible, what did he say, "I don't want to take another risk with my heart", she suddenly remembered this sentence, and it lit her up like magic. Just now I was still immersed in the gloomy and painful heart.If Rhett found out that returning to her was not a risk, would he return?This new discovery lifted her spirits, and she thought of Rhett's warm and strong embrace when she was sick, of Rhett's gentle smile when she left Charleston, and of her being kidnapped in the house on Peachtree Street. He hugged him tightly all night, thinking of his soft words of comfort when Mammy passed away, all of which showed that Rhett didn't care about him at all, he still had her in his heart, but every time he got better, he He will distance himself from him immediately, but he is still afraid of being hurt, still does not believe that she really loves him, and is still unwilling to give himself a chance to express his love.She really regrets why she didn't discover this earlier. If he didn't give her a chance, then she should create it herself.She even regretted why she recovered so quickly every time. If she had been sad for a little longer, Rhett might be willing to come back.Her whole body fell into this kind of sweet distress, until she remembered what he said, "There are only two things left in my love for you, the two things you hate the most, pity and indescribable mercy".This sentence is like a giant's palm, ruthlessly crushing all her joy easily.He is still her husband in name and still has responsibilities to her, but that is no longer love.Pity, mercy, everything he did for her was just because of these two things she hated the most, right?If this is the case, she would rather suffer alone than have him pity her with this cheap sense of responsibility.She should become better, reject all his charity, and live on her own strength, just like Lan Li.Thinking of Lanli, she suddenly remembered that she hadn't been back to Atlanta for a long time, and she should send a telegram to explain to Lanli.After Rhett went north, she would return to Atlanta to have a look.But she would never go North, not even if Rhett was going there.

"Never let him pity me, because I love him, completely equal, and love that has nothing to do with money. I swore, as long as he is here, it doesn't matter if I go hungry and poor again." Scarlett finally got rid of Sentimental to no avail, he stood up proudly again, "I am willing to give everything for him, as long as he is willing to accept. I lost my happiness, and I should find it myself. If Rhett still loves It's my greatest luck, I will cherish it more and love him well; if, if he really doesn't love me anymore, it's my own fault, I won't blame him. But I still love He, even if one day he dies and I die, I will always love him, even if he does not accept, I will love him. If I love him, I must make him happy, let him be happy, even if he If you want to divorce me, even if he doesn't want to see me anymore, I won't pester him anymore, as long as he is willing, as long as he still allows me to love him, I can do anything."

As usual, after figuring out how to solve the problem, Scarlett suddenly felt a lot lighter.Maybe Rhett will no longer exist in her life in the future, but no matter what, she will continue to live and live better.There are many things in love, besides two people being together, there are also understanding, tolerance, trust, support, and sacrifice, but their purpose is only one, that is to make the lover happy.As long as Rhett is happy, she is happy.

When Jack found Rhett, there were three empty whiskey bottles in front of him, and the fourth bottle was only half full.Jack sucked in a breath like a toothache, and seemed to want to get out of the bar where he had finally gotten in. He hated the strong smell of whiskey and was even more afraid of drunks.But remembering Miss Scarlett's order, he mustered up the greatest courage and bravely sat next to Rhett amidst the curious eyes of the whole room.Fortunately, his eyes were not blurred by the alcohol, the two black eyes looked at each other, he saw himself smiling in his pupils, he saw himself smiling in his pupils too.

"I didn't expect you to come here. Scarlett asked you to come here?" Rhett picked up the bottle and poured himself another glass. He wanted to pour a glass for Jack, but he waved his hand and said that he was still a child and couldn't Drink whatever you want.

"Forget it, Jack. Don't use your age as a shield." Rhett took a glass disapprovingly, and poured whiskey into it, but he still had a sense of proportion. Nudged past.

Jack frowned and didn't take it.He took a deep breath, and the smell of low-quality alcohol floating in the air almost made him spit it out. Although Rhett drank the high-end whiskey, it did not alleviate his nausea at all: "Well, I admit it I've drank alcohol myself, but I hate whiskey the most, and champagne is okay." He saw Rhett's dark face revealing a sneer, but he ordered a bottle of champagne as he wanted.

"Let me make it clear to you first, this isn't champagne from France, it's sparkling wine with champagne skins at most." Regardless of the bartender's awkward smile, Rhett said mercilessly, "But the taste is good, you You can try it."

"Thank you." Jack didn't refuse this time, and poured himself a glass, using the whiskey glass just now. Unexpectedly, the taste of champagne and whiskey is not bad, very special, which somewhat alleviated his aversion to whiskey .However, the strength of this whiskey is really not something that ordinary people can bear, why does he feel dizzy after just such a little?It's really useless. I used to be able to drink a bottle of champagne by myself without getting drunk.Thinking of this, he suddenly felt that he had experienced this scene before, but where exactly was it, damn it, why did he forget it as soon as he had an impression?He beat his head with his hand in frustration.