Continuation of "Gone with the Wind"

Chapter 56 Warm Life

He stared blankly at her kind smile and forgot to answer for a moment.It’s not that he couldn’t understand her words. Before coming to the United States, he often went to church to listen to foreign priests praying in English. At the beginning, he couldn’t understand her, but he was fascinated by the atmosphere there. Scolding didn't stop him.It didn't take long for him to learn the pronunciation of English. He often talked to himself alone, and felt the breathy sound that came out when his tongue was pressed against the upper gum.They all said he was crazy and they might as well send him away.He didn't care about it at the time, but he didn't expect this to become the prophecy of his strange fate.He remembered clearly that when he left, they all looked relieved and relaxed, and the person who finally unloaded a burden that had to be carried would have this look of never wanting to carry it again. A person finds a trace of sadness or even pity on his face, but is finally disappointed.Now he understood them, and it was a waste of his time to take pity on a guy who was so intrusive that he wanted to get rid of it quickly.This result is not bad, at least he left alive and would not be swallowed up by the increasingly decaying perilla garden.But at the time he felt very sad, which was funny.Not caring is not caring, and blood relatives are the same.Although he also knew that they never recognized his blood, because they never recognized his mother's status.Chinese men treat women like medicinal herbs, and the standards are even stricter.Polygamy is nonsense, there is only one wife, but you can have as many concubines as you want, as long as you can afford to marry, or afford to buy.The pity is that his mother can't even get a concubine, she can only be regarded as a maidservant, and she is the lowest kind. I don't know when the master (they say he is not qualified to call him "father") drank too much The wine vomited again, and his mother went in to clean it. He got drunk and messed up on the spur of the moment, so he buried him in his mother's emaciated body.It's a pity that it is only a very lucky few that mothers are more expensive than children, and mother has always been unlucky, and even brought him unlucky.Due to malnutrition, his mother gave birth to him without accident, and she died of exhaustion after all the painstaking efforts to separate him from her body. He even doubted whether his mother had taken a look at him before she died. .She must be very sad, not because of him, but because she is still not lucky enough to get the title of "Aunt" that she has always dreamed of.As for himself, although he has the title of "young master", he lived the life of a servant and was kicked out.Their reason is very good. He is an ominous person. He killed his mother first, and then killed their father. They can't let him harm the rest of the family.But he clearly remembered that the master "ascended to heaven" because of alchemy too much, and it had nothing to do with him.Without his knowledge, Lin Kejie was sent to the "preparatory class for young children going abroad" in Hong Kong. He inexplicably memorized a bunch of things that he didn't know what they meant, and then returned to Shanghai. He didn't expect to wait there. What turned out to be a big ship with black smoke.He watched his elder brother draw a bet on a piece of paper that said "If there is a disease, life or death, each will live in peace", happily handed him over to an official waiting there, and then anointed the soles of his feet with oil.In this way, he got on the boat bound for St. Francis and became the first group of Qing Dynasty students to study in the United States.While on the boat, the other children were nervously and excitedly communicating about their situation, but he didn't understand what was going on, curled up in a corner alone, and ignored children who came to talk to him. I really can't understand, and his Shanghai dialect is not working.He still remembered that there was a child who was very active and liked to play with the machines on the boat. He asked questions that even Mr. Rong, the leader of the team, couldn't answer, and was trained several times by Mr. Chen, another leader of the team.What was his name, he remembered it was a very lucky name, when he remembered, Zhan Tianyou.At that time, he laughed at himself that he would only restrain others with God's blessing, no wonder his fate was bad.

His self-destructive thoughts only lasted until the end of the bumpy sea trip, when quite a few people threw up, but he didn't.Ever since the ship stopped at the port of San Francisco, to be more precise, since he saw the rows of high-rise buildings in San Francisco, his young heart was deeply shocked.The power of an advanced civilization represented by those tall buildings blooming everywhere like bamboo shoots is extremely powerful, so powerful that Jack said goodbye to Lin Kejie in an instant, and immediately forgot the only clean stone lion in front of the perilla garden.In his eyes, they are alive and alive, and solemnly welcome this group from the ancient oriental country with their unsmiling expressions. They are also wearing blue satin jackets, melon caps, black cloth shoes, and dragging the flags of the Qing Dynasty behind their heads. A child with black braids.He had a strong feeling right then that he belonged here, that this place belonged to him.The perilla garden is already crumbling, but these high-rise buildings are still so strong.He even secretly thanked those who threw him here.

He didn't know that this was not their destination, but just a transit point.They only stayed for a short time, and then they were stuffed into the train like numbered goods waiting to be transshipped.He was a little reluctant to leave, but he still reluctantly got into the car, feeling as if he had entered the belly of an iron centipede that swallowed a cloud.The others were very excited to see the endless prairie, the vigorous and agile Indians, and the herd of bison running. Only he was still immersed in the high-rise buildings just now, turning a blind eye to this natural scenery.It was like this for the next week, which invisibly widened the distance between him and others.Even he himself knew that he was completely isolated.The subsequent allocation further exposed this point. No one wanted to live with him, so Mr. Rong had to send him alone to an old couple who had said hello in advance.He has no dissatisfaction with this, and he saves himself from being crowded with other people.He has a natural sense of closeness to the elderly, at least he is not as repulsive as he hates the scheming middle-aged people.Old people don't know how to play tricks, and they don't have the energy. When staying with them, he absolutely doesn't have to worry that they will harm him.Besides having the fun of listening to real stories, the elders have a lot to teach him.Every Old Man is a book with wonderful contents and rich connotations.It wasn't until the old lady cooked the milk and oatmeal and brought it to him, until he saw the old lady's kind smile, and was almost flattered to return her a sincere smile, that he realized that he was also valued , to be cherished and loved by others, he also cannot lack these things that ordinary people can get easily.His heart seemed to be a dry well that had been dry for a long time, and met a clear sweet spring, or a hot spring.The hot milk and oatmeal moistened his eyes and melted his long-frozen heart.He felt that tears were about to burst out of his eyes like a flood breaking through the dam, and he quickly lowered his head to drink the plate of oatmeal that was no longer hot. It tasted so sweet.Although you can also taste a little sour, I don't know if it is my tears dripping in it.

The days to come should be the happiest I've ever lived.Jack can't remember the specific details, but one thing is always engraved in his mind, even if he has no memory now, he hasn't forgotten it.In fact, it is just the most common thing, any mother will do it to her child, and the child will not know it, but when it happens between a pair of people who have no blood relationship but are arranged together by fate , and when it is known by that child, it is equivalent to a miracle in the eyes of that child, a miracle that happens every day and happens when he needs it most but dare not expect it at all.Because of it, he knows that love is invisible and intangible, but it exists more firmly than many things that can be seen and touched.

He felt himself being oppressed, but he didn't know what was oppressing him.He wanted to scream in horror, but he couldn't make any sound at all as if he had been thrown into the water.He soberly saw his body lying flat in a void, which usually doesn't happen in dreams, but he didn't bother to think about it.He broke free his arms fiercely, and then freed his feet. He started to run in the darkness, not knowing where he was going. His body felt a deeper and deeper chill, so he had to stop and hold on tightly. hug yourself.He wanted to retrieve the lost warmth, but he didn't know where it was lost.His consciousness gradually blurred, as if he wanted to say goodbye to him.Well, you go, I don't need you, just like no one needs me, I might as well die quickly, maybe it will feel better.No, it's not uncomfortable at all, the only thing that's uncomfortable is the cruel life that doesn't want to let me go when I meet it.

The body suddenly warmed up inexplicably.It was as if an invisible hand was pulling him to lie down again, covering him with that layer of what he wanted to get rid of.This time he didn't feel uncomfortable, as if as long as he completely entrusted himself to that hand, no danger would be any more, even if there was any danger, he would be absolutely safe.He was like a kite with a broken string, and he finally got rid of the shackles of the string, but he was horrified to find that he couldn't live without that tiny care. It was it that gave him strength and guided him, and it was his only life.Now finally there is a hand to re-tie the line for him, although it will also restrict his movement, but he knows that people cannot be without restrictions.The end result of trusting the horse to rein is by no means freedom, but absolute unfreedom.