Continuation of "Gone with the Wind"

Chapter 63 Scarlett's Reflections

Jack sat on the neat feather sofa, accepting Mrs. Langley's well-deserved thanks, but had other things on his mind.The communication time with Angela just now was too short. It is really difficult for her to help her realize her wish without hurting Mrs. Lanli.Her desire was legitimate, and even easy to achieve, but only for those who were luckier than her in this respect.In fact, everyone is unfortunate, but in different ways.He felt that what he said to Angela just now was a little too much, and he couldn't help but look at her apologetically, but found that she didn't care at all, and the longing in her eyes was like a thread buried in his body, pulling him into his heart a pain.He quickly looked away, but accidentally met Mrs. Lanli's gaze.He forced a smile at her, knowing that his face was a little unnatural and must have turned red, but he found that her expression showed no doubt or displeasure, she was still so quiet and elegant, even more so than when he went downstairs just now Even more gentle, but the worry and sympathy that were desperately concealed in those blue-purple eyes did not escape his eyes.He felt that she had something to hide from him, and it was for his own good.Blue eyes are the best way to hide your thoughts, only black eyes can do it.So he didn't show anything, letting the similar feeling of thinking about the secrets of the old lady and the old gentleman two years ago envelop his heart like an ill-fitting dress.My memory has almost recovered, and I have already remembered everything about when I was in the north, but there is still a problem of how I wandered from the north to the south.Oh, not only this one, but also the murder case of the Duncan family, who is the murderer, his compatriots or the northerners.Also, he felt that his mind had turned into a ship that touched the reef, but he still managed to steer the rudder with difficulty, and finally did not let it sink.Also, is this case related to Angela and Mrs. Langley?He had already remembered that not long after they left, the unfortunate tragedy happened, and then his memory was interrupted, and he came to the south in a daze.He wanted to get the idea out of his head, he had enough evidence to prove that they had nothing to do with it.They have no reason to have trouble with Dr. Duncan, and they don't have time. The most important thing is that he believes that they are not such people.However, since they left, Dr. Duncan began to stay behind closed doors, and he didn't die until he finally came up with the results of his research.Only then did he discover that his memory was still incomplete, and he still couldn't remember what the doctor's achievements were, but if because of it, someone coveted the huge benefits it might bring and killed the doctor's family, then Nor is it impossible.He didn't blame Angela in his heart, and he didn't have such useless thoughts of resentment as "the old man wouldn't have died if it wasn't for her".He didn't have the qualifications, and he didn't bother to blame someone casually to make him feel better.Besides, everything is just my own guess, isn't it?

God himself was thinking about something, and almost forgot the business.He quickly thought about how he should deal with Mrs. Langley's question about Angela's "illness", and at the same time skillfully convey Angela's wish without hurting Mrs. Langley's feelings.None of these three things are easy to handle, let alone they are mixed together.But before he could figure out what to do, Miss Scarlett suddenly thought of something and said to him, "By the way, Jack, do you have that portrait with you?"

"What portrait?" Jack didn't realize what she was saying for a moment.

"You didn't bring it, or did you put it in Tara? It's that one, that one, you should still remember it." Scarlett couldn't say it clearly in front of Lanli and Angela, and she could only talk to Lanli and Angela. She winked desperately at Jack with puzzled eyes. She was really worried that Jack would not understand what she meant after a while, but they would all understand.Fortunately, Jack's mind turned quickly, and he said like a dream: "Oh, you mean that, I know. But unfortunately, it was borrowed by Mr. Rhett."

"Rhett? How did he know that?" Scarlett was taken aback and almost jumped off the sofa. "What is he doing with that portrait?" She stared suspiciously at Jack, forcing him to tell the truth.

"Actually, I asked him to do me this favor." Jack immediately understood what she wanted that portrait for, both to help himself and Mrs. Langley. He suddenly felt that he had done something wrong, and replied His voice became very low involuntarily: "I just thought, Mr. Rhett is going to the north, maybe he can help me." He knew that Mrs. Lanli and Angela were confused and confused, In fact, he didn't want them to understand too much.He is very clear that the southerners have a deep-rooted hatred for the north, and the higher the status, the heavier the hatred. As nobles in the south, Mrs. Lanli and Angela are certainly no exception, even if they have lived in the north.Even Miss Scarlett almost lost control of her emotions when she heard her mentioning the north, and she was unwilling to go to the north with Mr. Ritter, wasn't she?In fact, he had already thought of it when he was answering the question. Mrs. Lanli knew that she was from the north, and she just called Dr. Duncan's name to prove it. It seemed that she didn't have any particular ill feeling towards him.He was just worried that Angela would know about it, but he didn't know why he was worried that Angela would know about it.He knew what kind of education Angela had been.From northern history and English textbooks, he learned the deep-rooted belief in tradition in the south. Although this kind of thinking of "the south is high and the north is low" instilled in him since childhood is wrong, it is as tenacious as an indestructible parasite inhabiting the south. Deep in the human soul, even children are not spared.This point was ridiculed by my foreign teacher many times in class. "Otherwise, why can't they even win a war against us? I bet, until now, there is nothing but ruins in the south." Mr. George often said this, and over time he also thought that the southerners knew nothing but arrogant Yelang.But when he really arrived in the south, he found that the situation was not as bad as the northerners said, and it was even quite good.In addition to lamenting that "history is written by the victors", he also has some understanding of "the general trend of the world, the long-term division must be united, and the long-term unity must be divided" and the helplessness of "we are born from the same root, so why is it too urgent to fight each other?"In fact, why is this not the case in your own country?The confrontation between the Manchus and the Han people, the confrontation between the Chinese and the foreigners, the foreigners also have conflicts due to conflicts of interests in Chinese land, don't they?But he didn't know why, but he always believed vaguely but firmly that this would never be the normal state of the world, and one day, everything would be better.What a good way, he doesn't know, but one day he will know.

Now his mind has wavered.All those distant longings were thrown aside by him, and the most important thing in front of him.For a moment he was completely Scarlett, and his black eyes shone like hot coals.In an instant, countless ways to cover up his identity flashed through his mind, no matter how weird or even sinister.For a moment he was no longer afraid of anything, including the moral code he had always abided by.In the past, they were always regarded as sacred and inviolable forbidden areas, and they did not dare to cross the threshold at all. This idea is simply too stupid.So what if I violated it, nothing happened, and my goal was achieved, so who would punish me?To take a step back, even if God or something else punishes me, I am willing to do so.As long as Angela doesn't know about it, as long as I can make her not know about it.He hadn't thought that the fact that he was so afraid of Angela knowing his identity was because he cared about her thoughts.As for why he handed over his power of life and death so quickly to an outsider who he had only known for less than a day, he never even thought about it.

Scarlett had been staring at him and sulking, what the hell was going on with this guy, he'd never screwed up before.But soon she found that Jack's expression was not right. She seemed to have known the flying expression that lit up the whole face. She seemed to see herself in this face, but it was not the beauty and elegance that she missed, but It made her feel a kind of fear.This time he looked like he was swearing on the red earth "By God, by God, the Yankees can't conquer me. I will get through this, and I will never starve again. No, my family Nobody will starve anymore. Even if I were forced to steal and kill—by God, I would never starve again” Myself, she didn’t have a mirror at that time, but she could still I felt that my face was illuminated by a strange light, just like Jack in front of me.This light replaced the sun covered by a haze, and gave her heart, which was at a loss in the dark, enough brightness, allowing her to gather all her courage to do whatever she wanted to do.With it, she broke through one difficulty after another, and reached the highest point of the pyramid step by step under its guidance.But she later realized that it was not the real sun, nor could it replace the real sun.It is actually the devil's eye disguised as a jewel, the ghostly phosphorescent fire in the swamp at night, and the beautiful bait used by the anglerfish in the sea to lure their prey.It can bring her light, more precisely it can only bring her light, but it can never give her warmth.But in order to keep it, how many bad things did I do, and how many stupid things did I do?She thought again of all the people she had hurt since then, the two sisters, Frank, Rhett, Melanie, Ashley, and many more, she couldn't remember.In fact, bad things and stupid things are connected to a certain extent, she is now vaguely aware of this.Maybe I knew this before, otherwise why I did so many bad things, isn't it for my children to have enough protection and not be forced to be a bad person by survival, so that one day I can stop doing bad things?Now how could she see Jack go down the same path as she did and make the same mistakes she had made in order to achieve his own goals (she didn't know what that was)?No, absolutely not!Although she doesn't know what kind of feelings she has for Jack so far, what is certain is that she already has not superficial feelings for him.