Continuation of "Gone with the Wind"

Chapter 90 Jack's Diary

He opened the drawer, just to have a look. There was nothing special in it, except for a notebook.He closed the drawer in disappointment, but pulled it open again mysteriously, and took it out from inside.There was no name written on the blue cover, and for a moment he couldn't be sure if it belonged to Jack, he had to open it and compare the handwriting with the letter in his hand.He was somewhat concerned about this. At that time, the United States did not have the concept of "privacy", but the general etiquette rules also believed that it was impolite to peek at other people's writing.He hesitated, but opened it anyway.

At the beginning, he really just wanted to compare the handwriting, and even consciously dismantled the sentences one by one, only picking out the same words as the letter in his hand for comparison, but it didn't take long for his attention to fall under the surface of the words. content attracted.Those words are quite naive, even he, who plays truant all day long, can write them, and they pale in comparison to the letter in his hand.I usually see that Jack is very smart, and he speaks well, so why does the words here look like they were written by a three-year-old child?He was half curious and half funny looking at his own experience written by Jack. He had told himself about these things early in the morning. The efforts to reconcile his legal guardian and his own legal guardian, at the beginning, he was injured a lot because of his plan.Paul had already forgotten about that incident. He had suffered much more serious injuries before, and he was still alive and well. Although Jack didn't show much guilt in it, it was obvious to all that he took care of him wholeheartedly during his recovery period. He specially made himself a recovery drink, which was enough, so he planned to turn the page, but when he saw the few words in the middle of the page, his movements stopped, and his eyes were firmly locked on Those few inconspicuous words read: "His words are very reasonable. The carriage is indeed suspicious. Why didn't I notice it at the time. The coachman doesn't look like a good man, his eyes are like a mouse that has stolen something." Thief. The owner of the carriage looks like a decent person. Although he is not young, he must have been a handsome man when he was young. Besides, he knows how to bandage and speaks kindly. He looks like a respectable doctor. However, why do I feel as if I have seen him somewhere? He looks at me as if he has known me for a long time, but he can’t remember who the other party is like me. That’s okay, the way he looks at Paul is even more strange. I can't even describe what kind of gaze it was. It seemed like a father looking at his son. No, it was a lone wolf who suddenly found his cub. It was even more exciting than this sight. Fear".

The narrative of this passage is not fancy, but everyone involved knows that it is absolutely believable.Paul tried his best to recall the scene of that day, but found that his mind was blank. He was wounded that day. Although he didn't utter a single groan, only he knew how painful it was, and his concentration was completely blocked by the pain. And overcame the pain to pass by, didn't even bother to see who rescued them, and when he got back to Tara, he was sent to his room to recuperate, and Mr. Butler's suspicions about the carriage were never mentioned by him at all. .It's nothing, he's doing it for his own good, but the second part of Jack's words made him unable to sit still, "He looked at Paul even more strangely, I can't even describe what kind of look it is , It seems to be a father looking at his son, no, it’s a lone wolf who suddenly found his cub, it’s even more exciting than this scene, I felt scared when I watched it.”Anyone can understand what the author is saying. The person who passed by and saved him and Jack that day was his father, at least Jack thinks so.Although he relies on a feeling, but this feeling is reliable, he is not a person who will talk about it. "The lone wolf suddenly found its cubs" was a straightforward metaphor, and although he couldn't remember exactly what happened that day, he found it apt for no reason.

I didn't expect that I actually had a father.This may sound strange, but Paul really thought so.No surprise, no anger, no sadness, he was just surprised.The long-term habit of living independently makes him feel that this matter is not a big deal. Besides, everything is just Jack’s subjective assumption. It is too hasty to conclude that the relationship between father and son is just based on a strange look. Maybe Jack is too nervous to make a mistake. Otherwise, why didn't he have the slightest impression?

He had been in New Orleans as long as he could remember, and a black nanny was in charge of taking care of him. He said it was taking care of him, but in fact he was just cooking for himself, and he didn't care about his mischief, so he had nothing to worry about.Mr. Butler didn't come very often, and when he did he brought him presents, all of which he liked, though he could see that he didn't really like him because he was being naughty--and he didn't like him very much, though he was a little afraid he.At the beginning, he was always bullied in school, and there was no one to turn to for help—even if there was, the boy's self-esteem would not allow him to ask for help.Fortunately he stopped being bullied after a while because he started bullying other people.Bullying is something kids learn quickly, and they don't need a reason.The black nun's workmanship is still good, raising him a head taller than the children of the same age, and much stronger than them, soon he became a bully in the school, no one dared to laugh at himself anymore .After Mammy heard about it, she might feel that it was impossible to ignore it, so she told Mr. Butler. Mr. Butler asked himself once, but he didn't do anything to him afterwards, but looked at him with a little more helplessness and disgust.Just because of his eyes, I felt very uncomfortable. During the fight, I hit a little harder, and severely injured an unlucky guy who bumped into his hand. The city was full of disturbances, and even the police were alarmed. Mr. Butler reluctantly took himself out of New Orleans after giving himself a lesson, and he himself was reluctantly taken to Atlanta.Things went well afterwards, except that he was misunderstood by Mrs. Butler as a thief and bit him hard.

But since being brought north by Mr. Butler, all things have changed.He arranged himself in that not-so-good hotel, and told him to stay here, don't go out if he has nothing to do, and if he hasn't come back after a month, he should leave quickly and go back to Tara.He didn't take it seriously at first, because Mr. Butler has always been elusive, and he was like this in New Orleans. He has long been used to it, and even admired such a chicness.But just after a week, he couldn't stay in the hotel anymore, nothing happened, but he would rather something happened, even if it happened to him, even if it was a bad thing, in short, it was better than he was so worried Like a thief who stole something and would be caught at some point, he could only hide in a prison-like room shivering while forcing himself not to be nervous.He knew that this matter had nothing to do with him. Although Mr. Butler looked carefree, he was extremely thoughtful and would never do anything meaningless to him, so he dared not go out no matter how frightened he was.Besides, I have never been to San Francisco myself, so I can’t tell where it is, and I’m a headless chicken when I go out, so I can only stay here day after day, praying in my heart that Mr. Butler will come back soon, this is the first week In the end, he used his own pocket knife to carve a straight line representing the number of days that was obviously longer than the other straight lines on the gray wall of the hotel. It was a naive idea.

Halfway through the second week he gave up on the idea, and the scratches on the wall were getting deeper and deeper, the result of repeatedly cutting and scratching in one place when he was venting.He looked at the fresh wounds he had created in the old skin of the lime wall that were still bleeding, and his heart was full of bewilderment.

Just two and a half days into the third week, he already had an idea, no matter what, he had to go out for a walk after the sun went down and the heat subsided, and staying indoors all the time would block his nerves.I didn't expect that I didn't wait for Mr. Butler in the end, but his wife came from heaven and earth. It's really a miracle.Although she didn't tell the truth to herself (he had never seen Mr. Butler's serious and cold face before he left, it was by no means dealing with any business, but rather dealing with his own enemies, which he still remembers You Xin, and because of this reason, he obediently listened to his words), but he can’t care so much anymore, as long as he can get out of that stuffy place.

It's just that the place where I'm staying now seems to hide many secrets.He knew that Mr. Butler often came to the north, but he didn't expect that Mrs. Butler's social circle could extend to the north. Although the relationship between the host and hostess of this house seemed a bit strange—from his increasingly keen observation Judging from his strength, it was probably similar to the situation of the Butlers—but they were quite nice, not at all as hideous as he had heard before.In fact, for the hatred of the North, children's memories are far less profound and stubborn than adults. As for those old antiques who are persistent in passing these hatreds to the next generation, his evaluation is only one sentence, full of food.

It's just that the sum of these strange things is not as great as the mystery of the notebook in his hand.Jack did record everything in detail, but he was a little confused.He didn't know about Jack's memory loss. He and himself had told all the things he could remember at the time. He didn't tell about some omissions, and he didn't notice them. My memory started directly from the monastery in Charleston. He didn't know anything about young children studying in the United States, let alone what his life was like before Charleston, so let's look at his life in Hartford now. I found it novel and very moved. Although Jack didn't write much about it, he was moved by the sense of happiness that overflowed between the lines, and the similar experience made him have the strongest resonance with him.