windy city rainy season

Tao Yu searched for several psychiatrists on the Internet, compared their resumes and photos, and crossed out some who looked like they came from unreliable countries. There was also a bearded man who looked like Osama bin Laden. The next three people, including a Chinese.After thinking about it all afternoon, he picked up and put down his cell phone, but in the end he couldn't muster up the courage to call any of them—like most people, he was still psychologically repelled from seeing a psychiatrist.

Turning off the webpage, Tao Yu thought comfortingly, how could he be depressed if he could find a doctor online in such an orderly manner?Most likely it was a fault of idleness, so he packed up his laptop and went to the school laboratory.

Things got more complicated after school started, and Tao Yu's ups and downs eased a little, which strengthened his belief that he didn't need to see a doctor and could adjust himself.

During this period, Chang Ling's recruits' training was over, and they were about to be sent to the naval base in California. Before leaving, he asked his brother and Tao Yu to have a meal together.

Seeing Chang Yao again, Tao Yu was surprised to find that this kid had completely changed. His thin figure, which was between a teenager and a young man before, had become obviously thicker after two months of intensive training, and he could feel his shoulders through the camouflage uniform. And the vigorous muscle groups of the arms-the U.S. military really trains recruits according to the standards of "bodybuilders".

"I decided to do tower control according to the instructor's suggestion." Chang Ling talked about his career choice while cutting steak. "Submarines are also very good, but tower work is more challenging."

Tao Yu was a little surprised: "You actually think this way, I thought that according to your temperament, you can find a simple bastard to pull you down."

While Chang Zheng was going to the bathroom, Chang Ling whispered, "Actually, I chose the control tower because a girl who was training with me was going to be the aircraft maintenance chief and also went to the base in California. If I chose the submarine, I might be sent to Florida."

Tao Yu made an expression of "that's how it is", and asked a little curiously, "Can female soldiers still do aircraft maintenance?"

"Enlistment scores are enough, BootCamp performance meets the requirements, of course you can choose a career you like." After a pause, Chang Xuan couldn't help but add, "That girl is super powerful, her abs are stronger than mine, I can't beat her .”

Tao Yu smiled and said, "If you still want to fall in love in the military camp, be careful of being dealt with by the military law."

Chang Ling sighed and said, "I haven't caught up yet, so you don't have to worry about it for now. Let me tell you, when this training camp is about to end, I have a friend and a female soldier in the middle of the night. I found out, but the previous training results were all invalidated, and I started all over again. My God, you know how horrible recruit training is, if I go through it again, I’m afraid I’ll be a deserter.”

Tao Yu was very happy that Chang Yao was willing to talk about this with him. After all, he was Chang Zheng's younger brother. This kid was quite cute when he was not messed up, let alone the previous unpleasant and painful experiences.The other party's vitality made him envious, but when he thought of his own situation, he felt a little lost.

After a meal, Chang Yao wanted to go back to the barracks.Because it was cold and the parking lot was far away, Chang Zheng went to pick up the car alone and asked them to wait in the restaurant.

Seeing Chang Zheng walk away, Chang Xuan turned his head and asked, "Are you and my brother okay?"

This is the second person to ask Tao Yu this question. The last time Adrian asked this question on the uninhabited island, Tao Yu knew that his mental state was not right at that time, but after this period of time he thought he had adjusted himself.

He glanced at Chang Ling and said, "Very good, what's the matter?"

"I just asked casually." The other party brushed off the hat in his hand and said, "You didn't say a word during the meal, I thought there was an argument."

Tao Yuqi said, "We didn't talk? So have you been talking to yourself?"

"I mean the two of you don't talk to each other." Chang Ling added, "Before you were able to talk, you didn't even have a chance for me to intervene."

Tao Yu said with some guilt: "Isn't it because you are leaving, we have something to talk about at home."

"I heard from my mother that your body has not recovered very well, and you are now getting acupuncture?" Chang Ling changed the subject.

Tao Yu nodded: "It was recommended by a friend. Anyway, it's not bad, so I should go there to sleep." He has been suffering from insomnia recently, and the old Chinese doctor also gave him a few needles on the Anshen acupuncture point, occasionally allowing him to take a nap. Son, half an hour, four 10 minutes, wake up feeling a little better.

"Sorry, I……"

"Okay." Tao Yu interrupted him, "The past is the past, and you didn't mean it."

Neither of them spoke again until they saw Chang Zheng's car approaching from a distance, and Chang Yao suddenly said, "The other day you were pushed into the operating room, I thought my brother would beat me up, but he only said one word to me. , he said that if you don’t come out alive, let me take care of my parents in the future.”

……

After sending Chang Ling to the military camp, it started to snow on the way home, and it became denser and denser. When we reached the door of our house, there were already flakes the size of goose feathers.

"Stay outside for a while." Tao Yu said softly before the car drove into Curry.

Chang Zheng looked at him, put the reverse gear on and put the car into a parking space on the side of the street.

The roof was covered with snow, and soon the front, rear, left, and right windows were also covered, leaving only a small blurred field of vision cleared by the wipers.The snow blocks the noise and light from the outside world, and the small space is very quiet, and we can hear each other's breath.

Tao Yu stared at Chang Zheng, raised his hand to touch his forehead, stretched his eyebrows, moved his fingers down along the side of his face, and stroked his warm lips.I almost forgot when was the last intimate contact. For a long time, I was in a state of irritability and depression. I responded coldly and negatively to the other party, suppressing myself, but dragged the two of them into pain together.

Listening to the words repeated by Chang Ling, a piece of the barrier in his heart was knocked down.

He reached out to wrap Chang Zheng's back of the neck, leaned over and kissed him, the touch of lips and tongue made his heart tremble.The other party's response was more violent than his, as if the emotions that had been suppressed for a long time were finally released, he could feel the heat of the other party's palm, rubbing hard on his waist.Gradually, Chang Zheng slowed down his hand and moved behind him, Tao Yu didn't hide, and let the other side carefully cover the scar.

He tasted the slightly salty taste, his cheeks were wet, and he couldn't tell whose tears it was.

People's emotions always go back and forth, and any psychological problem cannot be cured just by opening their hearts once.Tao Yu told Chang Zheng that he didn't have the courage to see a psychiatrist. Chang Zheng didn't force him, but told him to speak out when he felt that his emotions were difficult to control.

When Tao Yu had mild PTSD symptoms, Chang Zheng consulted with his colleagues in the psychiatry department, including his subsequent emotional changes.Colleagues believe that Tao Yu's condition is the gradual development of obvious post-traumatic stress disorder to depression, and now it is an overlapping manifestation of the two.What they have in common is that they all make the patient feel depressed and lose interest continuously, but the main difference is that PTSD has a specific fear object, and the traumatized experience and details will constantly remind and stimulate him; while depression has no clear goal, Staying at the level of generalization causes patients to experience persistent mental fatigue, including insomnia.

Diagnosing the disease is not difficult, what is difficult is how to treat it.Patients like Tao Yu who do not want to see a psychiatrist can only rely on medication and the encouragement and help of their family members to slowly adjust.

Changzheng has experience in accompanying patients with depression. Although it is not a good experience - his ex-boyfriend committed suicide because of depression, but at least he knows what kind of repetitions will occur during the treatment and what kind of psychology the patient will have. Variety.For example, after insisting on drug treatment for a period of time, after the mood improves, the patient will think that he has recovered and refuse to take drugs.He still remembers that his ex-boyfriend once accused him of "You'reputting chemical stome!" He remembered that the other party secretly replaced the depression medicine with vitamin tablets in order not to let him find out.The same thing might happen to Tao Yu, Doctor Chang told himself to be prepared.In fact, he is also a little depressed. I don’t know why his life is always linked to depression. It seems that this kind of mental illness really has nothing to do with people’s personality. People who are originally optimistic and active will also encounter problems that cannot be solved. knot.

Tao Yu started taking Sertraline, a drug for depression, anxiety, and other stress disorders.This medicine works quickly, and it will make people feel relaxed and happy after taking it.Tao Yu felt that his life was returning to normal, and the sense of tension and alienation towards the crowd gradually subsided.The work of the school is still going on, and the winter sampling of the sewage plant has ended. He made a summary analysis of the data and wrote a paper on the influence of indoor humidity and temperature on the diffusion of pollutants in the air. Old Andrew is helping him revise it.

One day, Tao Yu was cleaning the air sampling bags that had been used a while ago in the laboratory, when old Andrew suddenly called and asked him to go to the office.The old man's tone was very serious, and Tao Yu didn't pay much attention to it. According to his experience, any computer problem, including the mouse running out of battery, was a big trouble in the old man's eyes.

However, Tao Yu didn't know until he got to the office that this time it was really troublesome. Song Xinming, the younger brother who helped him take samples in the winter, wrote an article with the sampled data privately without informing anyone, and signed only his own name. , submit to a journal.The old Andrew is one of the reviewers of this journal, and the editor just sent this article to the old man for peer review.

Tao Yu looked at the typed draft, and didn't say anything for a long time. He couldn't believe that the junior he had always trusted would do such a thing. Many things came to mind. Song Xinming was usually too enthusiastic and asked him what to do. Analyze the data, measure the significance of these parameters, and the day before the trip, my notebook that was touched by someone recorded important data and research ideas.

"Should I talk to him?" Tao Yu asked old Andrew in a calm tone as much as possible. (Translation: Should I talk to him?)

"No." The old man closed the office door and said to him, "This is a big issue. You're not supposed to talk to him or anyone. .” (Translation: No. This is a big deal, don’t you He or anyone else said. He stole your data, he stole our ideas, and his biggest mistake was, broke the contract and NDA of the sewage plant. You don't get involved. The school board and department will deal with this thing.)

Tao Yu understood that the old man was protecting him, otherwise he would be suspected of leaking data.When he came out of the office, he didn't know where to go for a moment, his mind was in a mess, and he couldn't remember if he had taken the medicine in the morning.He subconsciously called Chang Zheng, but it was transferred to the voicemail. He vaguely remembered that the other party seemed to have said that there was an operation in the morning.

Walking out of the campus aimlessly, Tao Yu walked towards the lake in the opposite direction from home.