The Director's Road of Airflow

Lu Yun's life path took a turn at the age of 12. At that time, he thought it was just an ordinary dinner party. His father, Lu Feng, was mysterious and vague, saying that he wanted to take him to meet a relative whom he had never met. , he didn't expect that relative would be his brother.To be more precise, he didn't expect that he had an older brother.

Lu Yun knew Lu Ming, long before that bad hotel meeting, he knew the existence of Lu Ming.To him, Lu Ming was a big star, a distant existence that the girls at the same table would feel shy and somewhat proud when they mentioned their names.

It's not that no one has put them together. Some strangers have long said that Lu Yun looks somewhat similar to the popular star Lu Ming. Lu Yun doesn't take it seriously. It's just a compliment. There's nothing wrong with that handsome guy.

The cool little boy Lu Yun doesn’t like celebrities very much, not only male celebrities, he also doesn’t like female celebrities, he pretends to say: he likes a distant stranger, and projects some of his inner hopes on him/her , This is somewhat boring. If you have a dream, you should realize it by yourself, instead of pinning your hopes on a stranger. You look proud, do people know who you are?

When Lu Yun said these words, it was more or less lofty.Until one second before entering the hotel, when he got off his father Lu Feng's car, Lu Yun was still implicitly showing off what optical knowledge he had learned today. He is now a first-year junior high school student, and he is already learning physics knowledge. This is for next year. Participate in the junior high school physics competition to prepare.Lu Yun is a smart child, and he has somewhat developed a sense of superiority because of this.He knew that his parents were very pleased with his intelligence.His parents love him very much, but he also has confidence that this love has nothing to do with grades, they just love him as a person.

When Lu Yun rushed into the restaurant in a hurry, he didn't know what he was running towards.

What happened after that, Lu Yun can't remember clearly, at least the 24-year-old Lu Yun can't remember clearly, he just vaguely remembers a loud door closing sound, "bang", which woke him up from his dream.

Lu Yun's first thought was: he has an older brother whom he has never met.

After reacting for a while, he realized that this sentence should be said like this: Lu Ming has a younger brother whom he has never met.

Lu Ming was the legitimate child of his father and his ex-wife, while he was an illegitimate child, or to put it more bluntly, an illegitimate child.

12-year-old Lu Yun is a very proud little boy. He rarely admires anyone, except for famous names in the history of science. In his daily life, he also admires his parents.He wishfully thought that he was living in a happy family.After that day, I realized that there was a lie behind the curtain.He is just an audience on the stage, even though everyone around him is performing with him, he doesn't know it, thinking that this is the real thing.

"What a happy idiot." After calming down for more than a month, Lu Ming wrote a comment on his previous life in his diary.

Lu Yun once hated his own cowardice and mediocrity. He once thought that he would carry on the unilateral cold war to the end. At that time, he didn't know how long he would "persist to the end", one year?two years?Or until he becomes financially independent and moves out of the family?

But he never thought that the time he insisted on ignoring his parents was only one month, and this was the limit of his patience.

He compromised and received psychological counseling with his parents to rebuild the family relationship.It is said to be a reconstruction, but in fact it is just to give each other a step down. Before officially entering puberty, Lu Yun decided to let go of the hatred that has been burning his conscience. Maintain the appearance of a family.

Lu Yun's reaction obviously exceeded his parents' expectations. They thought that Lu Yun was still young and he was still a child. He might find it difficult to accept it at first, but he was attached to his parents after all, and he would definitely learn to understand them.

But Lu Yun didn't, he just got rid of his cool and cute temper, and became very silent.If you want to say that there is something wrong with him, that's fine, but you can clearly feel that now, in Lu Yun's world, his parents are not so worthy of closeness.

During adolescence, Lu Yun also thought about whether his indifference and alienation were hypocritical.After all, he enjoys the good living conditions provided by his despised parents with peace of mind, and because of this, he can spend some time every day besides studying hard to think about how annoying his parents are. How pitiful, born in such a family.

When he was 15 years old and entered high school, Lu Yun proposed to go to American High School, and Lu Feng agreed.

After sending away the increasingly gloomy youngest son, the two husband and wife were alone in the country, but relaxed. The usual serious expression on Lu Yun's face at home seemed to be a kind of moral judgment aimed at them everywhere.Now that the eyes that Dao had been watching them all disappeared, it was not unlucky, but besides being lucky, he would also miss his son.

Lu Yun felt more and more that it was an extremely correct decision for him to choose to study abroad after graduating from junior high school.Because there are not many Chinese in the private boarding school he is in, when students praise his appearance, they will just say that he is so handsome, instead of looking up and down carefully, sincerely feeling "Oh my god, you You look too much like Lu Ming, if you don't know, you may think you are related by blood."

Just imagining this scene, Lu Yun felt suffocated for a while.

To him, it was tantamount to a public execution, even if only he knew what it meant.

When "Mother Star" was released, Lu Yun started his penultimate semester of undergraduate study at MIT.When he was browsing domestic social media, he saw a lot of news about "Mother Planet". He clicked on each of them and was not interested. After clicking, he clicked on the link and looked at the specific content seriously.

I don't know if the recommendation algorithms of these social media are not smart enough, or there are too many news about "Mother Planet", Lu Yun keeps pointing "not interested", and constantly receives new related news.

It was difficult for Lu Yun to express exactly what kind of emotion he had for Lu Ming, a strange brother in the sense of blood.

But he knew very well that he didn't hate Lu Ming.

He hates many people, those who have no sense of proportion, hate those who have no sense of morality, he hates people who stir up emotions and rhythms on the Internet, and he also hates ordinary young people who like to throw blame in daily life. Even for one reason or another, he couldn't like his own biological parents.This is somewhat sad.

Lu Yun knew that he really hated a lot of people.But this does not mean that he is withdrawn and autistic. On the contrary, Lu Yun knows how to deal with different people and maintain a peaceful and friendly relationship on the surface.If he wants, he can easily get a sincere friendship or start an intimate relationship, because he is a very smart person, which is not only reflected in his intuition for numbers and formulas, but also in his good perception heart.

He clearly understands what other people want to say and what they want to hear, so he has the gift of being liked, and he can easily win the sincere praise of most people if he wants to.

Most of the questions are not a problem to Lu Yun, only what is his attitude towards Lu Ming, this question Lu Yun has been subconsciously avoiding.

Sometimes when a person is lying quietly on the bed, the night is already deep, and the moonlight outside the window quietly falls on the floor of the room, maybe it also falls on him, Lu Yun will think: He may want to get close to Lu Ming, but he is afraid Lu Ming hated him.

Lu Ming has every reason to hate him.

But Lu Yun felt that Lu Ming would not hate him. It was not a question of whether he should, but whether he would. It was hard to imagine that a person with Lu Ming's personality would seriously hate someone.

It's not because of a blood relationship. Lu Yun felt that he would be treated preferentially by Lu Ming. He just thought that Lu Ming would not spend much energy on hating someone. Obviously, Lu Ming is the kind of person who stares at the starry sky. It is the destination that his soul calls him to look at, not the thorns along the way.

To be precise, Lu Yun felt that in Lu Ming's mind, he was probably not worth spending time to hate.

Lu Yun suspected that his closeness to Lu Ming was an empathy for his father's admiration.Because the glorious and tall image of his father in his heart had collapsed, he wanted to find another object of worship for himself. This strange brother was the object of worship he was looking for consciously or unconsciously.

During the period when he first learned about the identity of his illegitimate child, he repeatedly refreshed the media news, concerned about whether Lu Ming had any new news.This is an extremely different kind of "star chasing experience".Regardless of whether Lu Ming is in good condition, whether he is praised or ridiculed by netizens, Lu Yun is both happy and sad. He knows that he is not alone, and he believes that Lu Ming will make a comeback.

There is no basis for this kind of trust, Lu Yun just fell into the trap he once sneered at: he projected his longing on Lu Ming.He hoped that he could escape from this terrible, entangled, and lonely state, so he hoped that Lu Ming could also come out.It seems that if Lu Ming came out, he would come out naturally.

"Mother Star" received rave reviews, and the box office was rising steadily. Seeing that it was about to break the box office record of previous commercial films, Lu Yun was actually very happy in his heart. He suspected that Lu Ming, the president of the National Support Association, was not as happy as him.This kind of happiness is even better than his own paper being included in Science.

Lu Yun felt that the two brothers who grew up happily together in the same family, the younger brother's admiration for the elder brother was the most to this extent, and it was difficult to surpass.Thinking of this, he was a little happier. He was not that pitiful. Both he and Lu Ming grew up well. Although they were faced with the cruel family reality, they were not defeated. achieved worldly success.For a person who is less than 30 years old, becoming a well-known new-generation director in China and graduating from MIT is an achievement. They all have a bright future.

But Lu Yun didn't want to watch "Mother Planet".

The Chinese students in the alumni group also discussed the plot of "Mother Star". One week after the domestic release, "Mother Star" was also released in the North American market, and a local theater in Boston had a movie lineup.

Lu Yun rejected everyone's invitation to watch the movie together. He didn't plan to watch the movie, let alone watch it with others.

After finishing the opening report of his graduation thesis that day, Lu Yun went to a Chinese restaurant near the school for dinner after a long absence. He never imagined that there are people in this world who can make braised pork so weird and unpalatable.

After eating this strange Chinese meal, he walked to the theater alone. He knew that there was a screening of "Mother Planet" at this point. He went to the ticket window, bought a ticket, and sat alone in the back row of the theater quietly. Put on the 3D glasses and wait for the movie to play.

"Mother Star" is not a tear-jerking movie. Until the last moment of the movie, it always brings people a sense of shock and oppression, reminding people that in the face of unknown and higher existences, today's earth Civilization may not be worth mentioning.

However, Lu Yun maintained a state of wanting to cry but unwilling to cry the whole time.Until the end of the movie, Lu Yun didn't really cry.

Every idea that Lu Ming wanted to express fit perfectly with Lu Yun's thinking on these issues. Some ideas were recorded in Lu Yun's diary when he was very young.When reading, Lu Yun occasionally finds that his thoughts have been explained in extremely delicate language by his predecessors.

But seeing the thoughts in his mind like today, being transferred to the big screen in such a precise way as he imagined, and such a high-density overlapping of thoughts, this is the first time Lu Yun has come across.

The more he thought about it, the sadder he was. He admired Lu Ming so much and agreed with his thoughts about the world so much, but he never had the opportunity to tell him these feelings in person.

It's not that Lu Yun has no chance to meet Lu Ming. If he asks to meet, I believe Lu Ming will definitely attend the appointment.

But how could such a meeting be a normal conversation opportunity?It's just uncovering each other's scars and replaying the farce of the first meeting.

Lu Yun was so sure of this that he never thought about creating an opportunity to meet and chat with Lu Ming.

After graduating from undergraduate, Lu Yun still stayed in Boston, but went to Harvard, another university along the Charles River, to continue studying for a PhD degree.

The third year of Lu Yun’s PhD study was a bit of a waste of sleep and food. It was not until Christmas came and the New Year’s bell rang that he realized as if awakened from a dream: 2031 is here.

Sitting in the auditorium of the Spring Festival Gala for international students in Boston, seeing a familiar figure standing on the stage, Lu Yun checked on the Internet and confirmed that the person in front of him was indeed Lu Ming. International students celebrate Chinese New Year together.

At the end of the show, Lu Yun was a little flustered. He quickly walked out with his head down, but he wondered if he would be discovered by Lu Ming.Or will Lu Ming know himself?They should know each other, they look alike.

When Lu Yun was thinking about some unanswered questions, he was stopped by someone, and when he looked up, it was his brother whom he had only met once before.

He clearly heard Lu Ming say to him, "Lu Yun, let's have a chat, you know I'm your brother, right?"

This somewhat surprised Lu Yun. He was still thinking about how to address Lu Ming. He never thought that Lu Ming would say "I am your brother".

Sitting down in a noisy cafe, this is a very suitable environment to chat about some old things in Chinese, and talk about some adolescent entanglements that have passed a long time ago.With everyone around them busy talking about their big plans, complaining about their unreliable group members, or crying about how their last relationship ended, everyone has too many emotions to digest.The two of them don't look special sitting here, and they won't attract too much attention. They can concentrate on talking about their own affairs.

Lu Ming took the initiative to break the silence, "I don't know if you have paid attention to my movements. I was halfway through my career as an actor. I went to NYU to study for a master's degree, and then returned to China to become a director."

Lu Yun nodded, remained silent for a while, and replied, "I know."

At this moment, staying here, sitting face to face with his younger brother who had only met once before, Lu Ming was not without embarrassment.

At the very beginning, he also hated Lu Yun, not only hated him, but also hated his existence, thinking that his arrival officially announced the breakup of his originally happy family.

Later, Lu Ming also figured it out. In essence, it cannot be blamed on Lu Yun. If it is not Lu Yun, there will be Lu Yu. It is his father who has a different heart. Bear the pressure of the original family brought about by the father's behavior.

Lu Ming basically didn't have much contact with his father Lu Feng in the past few years, but he didn't completely cut off contact. He would still visit his grandparents regularly.In the year when "Mother Planet" was filmed, Lu Ming's work schedule was very full, and he stayed on the set all the time, so he couldn't spare time to go home.Finally, the production crew had a vacation, so Lu Ming rushed to visit his grandparents in Shanghai to visit the elderly.

Grandma's words were meant to comfort him, but it made Lu Ming feel very uncomfortable when he heard it-"It's okay, you are busy, we miss you, just turn on the TV and mobile phone, and we can see you as well. "

Lu Ming didn't know if there was a possibility of reconciliation with his father.He doesn't really hate his father. When he thinks of his father's betrayal of his mother, he feels that he should not be close to his father. What is the difference between him and a piece of barbecued pork?

If you want to straighten out the reason, then he has no reason to keep a distance from his father, even his mother has persuaded him.But Lu Ming knows that saying it is one thing, but actually doing it is another.If he does get close to his father's new family, it may be a secondary injury to his mother.

Lu Ming kept a distance from Lu Feng's new family, and naturally pretended not to know that "Lu Yun" existed.In fact, no one ever thought that Lu Ming should play the role of an older brother in Lu Feng's growth, and no one thought that they should have any relationship.Lu Ming only learned some news about Lu Yun from the few words they said while getting along with his grandparents.

Seeing Lu Yun today, he stopped him impulsively. Lu Ming hasn't figured out how to start the topic yet.He wanted to chat with Lu Yun because he had given himself a long vacation for a period of time since he won the Golden Lion Award for "Son of the Sea" last year. He didn't travel far, but moved back to Shanghai. Work and rest, wander around the city, conceive new scripts, and complete a small number of daily work tasks.

Such a period of slowing down made him understand some truths. If a person wants to obtain happiness and live a stable and happy life, he must give up some overly strong love and hate. Uncontrolled emotions will push people away. to the unknown.

He didn't take the initiative to change anything, and he never thought that he had the right to forgive anything instead of his mother. He just no longer remembered the matter of "Daddy betrayed the family" very firmly, and kept it in his heart all the time, as if letting go of it , will be condemned by conscience.He decided to let himself go and let this matter become a milestone in the past for him. He will keep walking forward, leaving this stone monument behind, and when he is far enough away from the starting point, he will look back. The stone tablet that once stood in front of him and cast a shadow that enveloped his whole body will also become a point that is beyond the sight and infinitely far away.

Lu Ming had only heard some news about Lu Yun, so he could probably guess that he was also a very stubborn child, who was hard to let go and forgive himself, even if it wasn't his fault.

"I don't want to educate you, or change your mind with a few words, I just want to say, Lu Yun, it's okay to reach a reconciliation with yourself, and it's okay to live life with a more relaxed attitude." Lu Ming thought for a while It took a long time to say a few words first, and then get to the point. After much deliberation, he still directly said what he wanted to say the most.

Lu Yun wasn't surprised either. He had a premonition that Lu Ming would say something that ordinary people wouldn't talk about when they met formally for the first time. "You mean you forgive me, don't you? Brother?"

Hearing this, Lu Ming raised his head, "It's not your fault, it's not like I didn't forgive you. You are not the one who made the mistake, and you are forced to bear the consequences, aren't you? If my guess is right, You strongly demanded to go abroad in high school, and refused to listen to your parents’ opinions in choosing a major. This is a deliberate rebellion, a silent protest, isn’t it? I just think you can let go of these burdens, and you are still a good person , you don’t have to keep a distance from your parents in order to keep your moral persistence. Sometimes people don’t have to think so clearly.”

After saying these words, the two chatted about the film creation process and the charm of computer science.

Lu Yun didn't think that this short meeting would completely improve the relationship between their brothers, but when he went to the airport to send Lu Ming back to China the next day, his brother had already waved him goodbye. , and turned back to give him a hug.

After this hug, Lu Yun knew that his living conditions would change somewhat.He insisted on keeping his pride by drawing clear boundaries for many years. This may have preserved his sensitive self-esteem, but it also made him very tired and exhausted.

After that, he can finally try to get out of the state of guard, no longer just being bound in an invisible cage by the grievances of the previous generation, but with a more free and relaxed attitude, to live his own life, which belongs to him. Lu Yun's own life.

No one should live in the mood of self-blame, this is what Lu Ming told him.