mediocre novelist

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To be honest, after so many years, I can't remember exactly what I was like when I was a child. Fortunately, people around me remember

I once heard my mother say: When I was a child, I loved to laugh, I had bright kindness and gentleness towards everything, I could listen to and understand others, I learned everything quickly, and I was so popular that I was always surrounded by people when I went to a banquet

I can't remember when I was a child, it was such a character design. I was shocked when I first heard it

——Is it possible that I was pierced by the soul during the period when I kept broadcasting black mud? !

Of course, the above is just a joke, I will always be me, there is no way to change this and there is no way to deny it, because no one can kill or take my life except myself

"Why did Yuansheng change?" Dazai said, "Can you tell me?"

About friends—especially in the past, Dazai usually doesn’t ask in depth

But my mind was filled with the words "Osamu Dazai", I didn't notice his abnormality, but followed his words to recall the reason

"In addition to outstanding talent, it is also because... I suddenly found myself very lonely." I said, the memory wrapped in tulle gradually revealed its full picture

I am amazed that I don't forget these things like I forget my childhood.Ah, I am indeed a coward who is afraid of loneliness. The more I am afraid, the more clearly I remember. Instead, I shut up those happy things and never ask about them again.

This is not good, I want to remember whether it scares me or makes me happy about Dazai

"I found that there was no one who could understand my pain - I was scared at that moment, and then the fear snowballed and made me stay in the shadow all day long, and my personality changed completely .”

I finally added: "My personality was very extreme when I was about 15 years old."

"Is there not one?" Dazai asked softly, "Whether it's someone who can listen to you or someone who can understand you."

I don't know why, but I always feel that his heart is much more turbulent than on the surface

"Not really, there are still people who can listen." A young figure appeared in my mind. It has been too long, and I only remember that he seems to have a pair of clear iris pupils like Dazai

"I have a... friend? I can't remember his face, but he is the same as you, and his pupils are the color of a beautiful iris." At that time, the child and I had never exchanged names, and I didn't know what we were. It's not a friendship, well, let's define it as a "friend" for the time being

"When we met for the first time, both he and I ran to the garden to take a shower because we couldn't get used to the scent of those ladies' perfume."

When I opened the phone switch, I also reopened the space where this memory is stored

"Our first meeting was quite interesting. He thought I was a pervert. I thought he was a rabbit monster."

"A rabbit monster?"

"Ah, because he has been looking at the moon sadly, as if looking at an untouchable utopia, he looks like the rabbit youkai who lived on the moon but was exiled?"

Dazai was silent for a while, and then asked with a smile in the same tone as usual if I would be considered a pervert by that child because I praised the child's face for 3 minutes

"Ah, almost, I exaggerated for three minutes and eight seconds." I squinted shyly, looking at the stars, the moon, and the night sky but not at Dazai

"It's pretty much the same as when we first met in Lupine."

"No, it's different. If I hadn't been interrupted, I could have praised your face for at least 10 minutes instead of 21 minutes and 10 seconds." I was suddenly a little proud. Now I am much better than when I was a child, and I can praise someone I won't repeat words for [-] minutes

--wrong!What is there to be proud of!

Fortunately, Dazai did not continue this topic, but asked me and that friend what happened afterwards

"Anyway, we chatted in such a strange way, the topic changed, one second we were talking about dessert, the next second it suddenly became which port's crab meat is delicious, and he and I agree that Soya red haired crab tastes the best .” I chuckled lightly.

Even though I don’t remember the content of the conversation very clearly, I have never forgotten the feeling of that night—very comfortable, I don’t have to think about how to say the next sentence, and I don’t have to worry about whether I will offend others, just say what I want to say. good

"That night I really..." I couldn't find a suitable adjective, so I had to talk about others, "After the banquet, he fled his family and left the so-called 'high society'. Even if we didn't Seeing you again, I am really glad to meet such a gentle person."

"It would be nice if I could meet him sooner." I said regretfully.

If we could have met that child earlier, our lives might have changed unexpectedly.

"It's not too late now." Dazai said softly

"What?" I asked, Dazai's voice was covered by other noises, I didn't hear what he said just now

"I said, you can look for him." Dazai didn't know why he was in a good mood, "It doesn't matter if you ask a hacker or ask me to help you."

I declined, "It's not good to randomly investigate other people's lives."

"And maybe he's walking the snowy streets as we are," I said. "Don't bother him with my idle curiosity."

"En." I don't know if it's an illusion, but Dazai's voice sounds much gentler to me

I turned around and met his eyes

Dazai has many admirers, I know this, after all, someone sent a bomb to Lupin because of him

Osamu Dazai said that most of his admirers like to praise his eyes, saying that when he looks at someone seriously, he always makes the other party have the illusion of "he loves you"

...is an illusion...

I looked away first, "There is someone interviewing in front, do you want to take a look?"

Dazai pulled my sleeve coquettishly, "Turn back, Yuansheng's eyes are so beautiful, I haven't seen enough yet."

"...my eyes are nothing good." I'm afraid that if I look any further, I can't help but want to do something to Dazai - like reaching out to touch his eyelids or something

"Hey... the golden pupils are obviously pretty." Dazai lengthened his voice in disappointment, "In exchange, you won't be able to say anything after that."

Playing a new game again?I thought so, nodding my head as a promise

I like Dazai to the point where I have nothing to do with him

It's such a happy and worrisome feeling because this person won't respond to me

It's okay, Dazai will find someone in the future that he wants to respond to, even if it hurts me if he falls in love with someone else

Well, I get used to the pain after a while

The person I like can be happy, that's better than anything

It's just... After he gets happiness, I won't appear by his side again

...I hate pain too

The author has something to say:

Today, Yuansheng's comprehension ability is also at the enterprise level (kimbo)

Hey, take your time, they will definitely get married anyway

*ooc small theater*

After hearing all the way, Sanhuamao couldn't help it: I agree with their marriage!

Mrs. Su who is not in a relationship:?

Mori Ogai, whose disciple was suddenly married off and had to pay a gift for the teacher:?

*After Mrs. Su really fell in love*

Yuansheng: We have been staring at each other for a long time...

Dazai: Yes.

Dazai: But I haven't seen enough of you seeing only me.

Yuan Sheng (laughs): If it’s you, you can watch it for as long as you want.

After falling in love, Yuansheng will become very flirtatious

But what does this have to do with the current source of enterprise-level understanding?

The day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, yesterday I saw a deer, and today I met you. —Robert Franklin Young, The Dandelion Girl

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