[Comprehensive Writer] Lonely Hell

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———I was so depressed, so I wanted to look at the world upside down, but it was no different

"what are you saying?!"

Everyone in the room heard the white-haired young man's murmur, and everyone looked up at him. Atsushi Nakajima bit his lip, but now he desperately hoped that those words were really an illusion, a scene of incomparable closeness. dream of reality.

However, it was not a dream. Atsushi Nakajima lowered his eyes and tried to keep his voice calm: "That's what Akutagawa said."

Nakahara Nakaya let go of Dazai's collar. He looked at the sleeping young man lying on the hospital bed. A faint smile appeared on the corner of the young man's mouth, but it quickly disappeared when he looked carefully.

Those details that were deliberately ignored in the past all came to mind at this moment, Nakahara also recalled what Akutagawa said to him, Akutagawa's expression when he was writing, and the determination that was more stubborn than anyone else hidden under the calm surface.

Nakahara Nakaya raised his eyes to look at Osamu Dazai with a calm expression, and then at the peaceful young man lying on the hospital bed, a burst of exhaustion suddenly rushed into his brain.

He will never want to understand the psychology of these guys who want to commit suicide, Zhongyuan Zhong also thought to himself, and slowly let go of his fist.Osamu Dazai looked at him, his expression was no longer frivolous as before, but gradually returned to a kind of emptiness and calmness.

"Okay Chuya." He said, "Mr. Akutagawa will let him stay here temporarily. You can't solve any problems by bringing him back to the Mafia. Dr. Yosano will ensure his safety."

Zhongyuan Zhong also frowned, and wrapped his hands around the whole person in an oppressive manner: "Why should I listen to you, Dazai." His expression was cold, and he smiled sarcastically, "How did you treat Akutagawa before? Don’t remember? Why should I put Akutagawa on the enemy’s territory.”

"Because Dun-kun made a very interesting suggestion when he came back yesterday, and the president also agreed." Osamu Dazai took out a letter from his pocket, and raised it at Zhongyuan Zhong, "Then I will run away in trouble." Come on, give this to Mr. Mori."

"By the way, Miss Hongye will go back with you." The smile on Dazai Osamu's face remained unchanged, "Isn't your sincerity enough, don't worry we won't do anything to Akutagawa-kun."

"I'm not your messenger!"

Nakahara also frowned in disgust, and took the letter with his right hand wearing a leather glove. He took one last look at the young man sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed on the hospital bed, paused for a while, walked up to Dazai, and read the letter. His collar forced the other party to lower his head and lower his voice, "I warn you, if Akutagawa wakes up, don't irritate him, if there is something wrong with him when I come back to pick up Akutagawa, you can wait until the dead mackerel turns into salty mackerel Dry the fish."

Zhong Yuanzhong also pressed his hat, his whole body glowed red, and he jumped directly on the window sill.

Osamu Dazai watched the other party leave quietly, and rarely said any provocative words.It wasn't until Nakahara Chuya's figure gradually turned into a dot and disappeared that he turned around and stared intently at the young man lying on the hospital bed.

Yosano Akiko left long ago, and only Osamu Dazai and Atsushi Nakajima were left in the medical room, as well as Akutagawa Ryunosuke lying quietly on the hospital bed.Atsushi Nakajima looked at Ryunosuke Akutagawa who was lying on the bed without opening his eyes, his lips opened and closed, and then opened again.

"Mr. Dazai...Actually, I don't quite understand..." Atsushi Nakajima turned his head when he saw the man in the sand-colored windbreaker, the white-haired boy's expression was a bit tangled, "I don't quite understand why Akutagawa wants to ask for death .”

"I know that Akutagawa is very different from the one before, but I couldn't understand it before, and I don't understand it even more now."

Osamu Dazai stared at him, and suddenly laughed: "Oh~ Jun Jun, are you asking about me, a suicidal person?"

Atsushi Nakajima looked at him, frowning: "But I think Akutagawa and Mr. Dazai are different."

"What's the difference? Isn't the difference because I have a beautiful young lady who can die in love together~"

"Uh... Please don't go around looking for someone to die for love... Cherish your own life and cherish the lives of others." Atsushi Nakajima twitched his mouth helplessly. Showing a little confusion, "I don't agree with Akutagawa's previous value of killing, but now I don't know what he is after."

"So Atsu-kun, do you think human existence is valuable?" Osamu Dazai asked with a light smile, but there was no smile in his eyes.

"Aren't people valuable only for the sake of saving others?" Atsushi Nakajima asked rhetorically, with a tone that even he didn't realize was taken for granted.Osamu Dazai was stunned for a second, then laughed lightly.

"Sure enough, it looks like what Atsu-kun would say." A smile appeared on the corner of Dazai Osamu's mouth, "It's also because of this that Akun-kun is Akun-kun."

"Did you know that people's desire to become a god has existed since ancient times." Osamu Dazai said, "Then how can a person become a god?"

Atsushi Nakajima tilted his head in a daze. He saw that Dazai Osamu was not looking at him, but was looking at the bright sunshine outside the window, and hesitantly said after considering his own thoughts: "But...how can people change? Become a god?"

"Then what do you think God is like?"

"Uh... probably omniscient and omnipotent, immortal?" Atsushi Nakajima said hesitantly.

"If people are immortal, they can become omniscient, but people are not immortal." Osamu Dazai had a slight smile on his lips, and looked at the tall and straight tree outside the window with a vague gaze. The warm sunlight smeared on the glass, and even the air seemed to see a touch of gold.

"But wouldn't it be arrogant for a person to become a god?" Atsushi Nakajima asked, Osamu Dazai's pupils shrank slightly, and the corners of his mouth suddenly curved up a few degrees in the next second.

"Are people who want to become gods arrogant, or are gods arrogant to people?" Osamu Dazai turned around, just at this moment a leaf outside the window was blown into the window by the wind, and slowly fell to the floor.

"No one knows what the world looks like after death, or the living people don't know it. What corresponds to infinity is nothingness." Osamu Dazai looked out the window, and the curvature of the corner of his mouth became hazy.

"Atsu-kun, have you bought Akutagawa-kun's work?"

"Ah?! Mr. Dazai, how do you know!" Atsushi Nakajima asked in surprise, and then he saw the smile on the man's mouth, and suddenly convinced himself that it was Osamu Dazai after all, as long as he wanted to know, there was nothing he could hide his.

"I want to read it all of a sudden, can Dun-jun lend me the latest magazine?"

"Hey, okay! I put it in the drawer, go get it now!"

Osamu Dazai watched the white-haired boy disappear behind the crack of the door after closing the door. He turned around and sat on the chair beside the hospital bed, looking at the sleeping young man.

The man's body is exactly at the dividing line between light and shadow, half of his body is caressed by the warm sunlight, while the other half is silent in the silent shadow.

There is only the sound of tick, tick, tick in the room.

The author has something to say:

The weapon itself is not to be feared, it is the samurai's artifice that is to be feared.Justice itself is not to be feared, but the eloquence of a demagogue is to be feared.These are the words of Mr. Akutagawa, and they are also the first sentence that came to mind when I saw the wife whose work was blocked by ao3 and blocked by the wall yesterday.I saw a group of people using "justice" as a lynching to create bullets maliciously, and those flowers that were painstakingly condensed with the purest love in the world withered countless overnight.However, there has never been any lynching in this world that can imprison thoughts!

We are free creators, and we can't hack around with guns like those fanatics, but precisely because we are free creators, the pen in our hand will not stop because of any external objects.As long as love is still there, there is hope for everything, as long as the belief of freedom is always in your heart, no one can stop you.

To sum it up with a sentence from my favorite Wenlian PV: the soul or smash, the thought will last forever!

Creativity never dies, hope never dies!

(Salute to all the authors who insisted on creating in those years! And happy birthday to Mr. Akutagawa!)

感谢在2020-02-2717:54:45~2020-03-0114:44:36期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who cast rockets: Nie Ming and Long Ling;

Thanks to the little angel who threw the grenade: Baozi, I am one of all things;

Thanks to the little angels who cast mines: Yiermi × Xi Suo, 2 Yousu; Yingshi, Shanhe Temple, 38342471, Fu Yan, I am in everything, Magic Moon, waiting for a satellite to land, favorite drink 1 froth of milk tea;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：梦里不知身是客66瓶；?琉年☆绯舞～45瓶；等一颗卫星落地30瓶；公子世无双、最爱喝奶茶的沫沫、塔中青鸟10瓶；安辰8瓶；亲6瓶；萤石、Q3556、亥三理5瓶；渃羽墨、AC安生、秋水、一枢遗烟4瓶；封玥曦3瓶；polaris2瓶；幻暝月、子青子秦、懒惰、萩槿、木子白、大理论1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

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