[Comprehensive Writer] Lonely Hell

==============================

———Life is not as good as a line of Baudelaire

Today was the third time he was revived. Ryunosuke Akutagawa was wearing a gray-blue fine linen kimono. He looked at the bright sunshine from the window and sighed softly.

On the table beside him, an orange-haired man in a hat was struggling with documents.Since he came back that night, Nakahara has been nervous about Akutagawa Ryunosuke, always staring at him to prevent him from committing suicide again at a moment that he doesn't know. After trying gas suffocation and secretly taking sleeping pills, Nakahara Nakahara His nerves have been raised to the highest alert level, and even the documents were moved from the Hong Kong Building to prevent Ryunosuke Akutagawa from committing suicide.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke closed his eyes, and his voice was suppressed: "It doesn't have to be like this, Mr. Nakahara."

How can he afford to be affected by his own pain...

His crime must be added again.

The pen in the hand of the man buried in the document suddenly stopped, even though he appeared to be immersed in the document report, Nakahara actually allocated part of his attention to the movements of Akutagawa Ryunosuke all the time.Zhong Yuan also raised his head, frowning and looked at the young man standing in front of the window.

He remembered the scene when he questioned the other party when he came back from the detective agency last time. In any case, he did not believe that Akutagawa Ryunosuke would commit suicide on his own initiative. It would be better for him to believe that it was influenced by memories related to Osamu Dazai, but Akutagawa Ryunosuke was very answered him clearly.

"You went out just to throw yourself into the lake?"

"Ah."

"Why do you want to die?" The orange-haired mafia cadre narrowed his eyes slightly, his eyes stern.

"I don't want to die..." The young man looked at him calmly.

"It's just boring."

Thinking of that short conversation, Nakahara Chuya wanted to sigh again. Originally, Akutagawa's obsession with Osamu Dazai sometimes gave him a headache. Seems more serious.

"Don't be kidding, you are my new subordinate now." Zhongya Zhongya knocked the pen on the table vigorously, his blue eyes were as solemn as the sky, "Don't be like that Dazai Osamu, death can't give you What you bring, everything you own is gone when you die."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke lowered his head, his crow-colored hair slid down his face lightly.The secret pain in his chest reappeared, he raised his hand to gently press his heart, heavy and clear sadness extended upwards from the heart, and a faint light flashed from those jet-black pupils, it seemed that it would be gone in the next second Turn into light teardrops and flow out.

So there is nothing left?

He really wanted to ask back like this, but he just lowered his eyelashes to hide the sadness in his pupils and remained silent.

Everything he owns and all the fetters he cares about have completely dissipated, and now he is just wandering around the world as a long-gone undead.Akutagawa thought, death really can't bring him anything, but it is the only way for him to escape this pain.

But he is not "Akutagawa" now, Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at Nakahara Chuya, the person in front of him didn't care about him at all, he was deeply aware of this difference, even though both of them were named "Akutagawa Ryunosuke", But it is precisely because of this that he suffers more.

He still couldn't integrate himself into this world, there wasn't any room left.

No one in the world could understand him anymore, absolutely no one.He is totally rejected, rejected by himself.

Those memories that make up all of his personality are still vividly preserved in his mind and cannot be forgotten.As time went by, he missed those times more and more.

He missed the old Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

Now that he is reborn in this body, those beautiful things have nothing to do with him, only the ghost named "Akutagawa Ryunosuke" remains.Akutagawa Ryunosuke stared at Chuya Nakahara, he could feel real concern from the person in front of him, and the fresh breath of life surrounding Chuya Nakahara reminded him of the fact that he was dead all the time.

Akutagawa sighed softly, he no longer has any right to be willful.The attempted suicide had not been without the egoism which he loathed, and to which terrible selfishness he had succumbed to.In the final analysis, he does not have any qualifications to make people who care about "Akutagawa Ryunosuke" lose their attention because of him.

Forget it, enough is enough.

He has completely lost his qualifications for liberation.

Nakahara Nakaya frowned, Akutagawa Ryunosuke's long silence made him feel something was wrong.In the past, although Ryunosuke Akutagawa respected him enough, there was always a clear contrast of indifference in events related to the removal of Osamu Dazai, but now even though Ryunosuke Akutagawa is no longer attached to Osamu Dazai, the alienation and indifference between his brows is even more It was clearly revealed, as if he had built a fortress to keep everyone out.

It is no longer a simple alienation, but more like a natural distance, like the distance between the sky and the sea, the distance between birds and fish, the distance between stars and black holes, and the eternal distance between parallel lines.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke has always been a person with deep determination, and Nakahara suddenly thought that no matter what happened, the stubborn determination that seemed to be irreversible was deeply rooted in his bone marrow.Although sometimes covered by that quiet indifference, it has to be said that this determination has brought him a rationality that is incomparable to others in certain fields.

The cruel rationality that was enough to destroy himself.

"You have to think about your sister, Yin." Zhongya Nakahara sat back on the chair again, and he tried to soften his voice, but he still couldn't help showing a bit of accusation, "If you die, She's all alone."

"Akutagawa, you still have people who value you, whether it's me, Miss Momiji, Gin, or that subordinate Higuchi who has been following you, we don't want you to die so easily."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at him, and read a poem with a slow tone, like soft petals bathed in the moonlight.

"He was born, he painted, and he died. The wheat field was golden, and a flock of crows flew screaming across the sky."

"Huh?" Zhong Yuan frowned, "What is this?"

"Van Gogh."

"Who?"

"A talented painter." Akutagawa slowly clenched his fingers under the sleeves of the kimono, his knuckles were a little white, but there was a rare relaxed smile on the corner of his mouth, as if he was talking to himself.

"A pure artist, I used to like his paintings very much."

"It's just that he was the one who shot himself very early."

"..."

A cross appeared on Nakahara Chuya's forehead, and his brows frowned even tighter.But Akutagawa immediately changed the subject, and the appearance of Nakahara Chuya was quietly reflected in the pure black like obsidian, and his usual indifference returned to his face.

"Mr. Zhongyuan, you have caused serious trouble because of my suicide, right?" The young man pursed his lips slightly, and looked directly at Zhongya Zhongya's pupils.

It's not too serious compared to Osamu Dazai... Nakahara Chuya thought to himself, but that mackerel just let him die!And now he is equivalent to Akutagawa's guardian, he understands the meaning of the leader, he wants to take advantage of Akutagawa Ryunosuke's amnesia to replace Dazai Osamu's position in Akutagawa's heart, or at least to eliminate Dazai's influence on Akutagawa.Zhong Yuanzhong also didn't want his new subordinate and ward to commit suicide quietly one day, he rubbed his temples and said as calmly as possible.

"Akutagawa, no matter what, it's better to be alive than dead."

But he is a demon who will hurt others as long as he is alive. He was and still is.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke closed his eyes, he heard the crows on the antenna mast outside the house crowing, which was very noisy.

"Mr. Nakahara, please rest assured." Akutagawa Ryunosuke slowly opened his eyes, a slightly distorted arc appeared on his lips, his nails were deeply embedded in his palms, trembling at an extremely small frequency that cannot be ignored .

Those eyes, which were like dark black crystals, showed a clear feeling as if they were being burned under the ray of light, and the words overflowing from the young man's mouth vibrated slightly in the air.

"Akutagawa Ryunosuke, he will not commit suicide."

Zhongyuan Zhong also stared at the young man's black pupils without a trace of light, and felt a burst of irritability that was hard to drive away from the bottom of his heart.

Outside the window, crows fell to the eaves without warning, splashing bright red all over the ground.

The author has something to say:

感谢在2020-01-2020:23:04~2020-01-2222:36:23期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 3 bottles of RTZY;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

---------------