hook up

It was He Xi who said the breakup.

He couldn't believe it now.

Days and nights during the six years of leaving Yu Fang, he asked more than once why he would be so cruel to break up, Yu Fang is so good, in the days without him, he couldn't find any other fun besides work.In the past, two people were tied together, but now they are cut off and separated. If a tree is separated from the middle and still survives, then its state of existence is also alive.

He even thought about being desperate, whether he wanted to be shameless or not, as long as Yu Fang wanted him, he would go back.

At the time when he thought about it the most, he had a high fever and was lying in bed alone, thinking that he must go to find Yu Fang, thinking that if he died, he would have to see him once before that.

He called all the time, but no one answered. He listened to the voice prompting the phone to be turned off over and over again, and the beeping sound came from the phone he was reluctant to hang up. hope.

after.He no longer had the courage.

The day we broke up was his birthday.

In the hotel box, a group of friends gathered around to celebrate his birthday, but without Yu Fang in the circle, it would not be complete.In fact, in the half a year before his birthday, he and Yu Fang have met no more than one palm. Occasionally, when they meet, the conversation is only a few perfunctory words. Yu Fang suddenly becomes very busy, and he is even busy. I didn't have time to talk to him properly, he stayed in the hotel for a whole month and didn't go home, he was full of longing and despair like a sea of ​​bitterness.

He remembered the days when they were just together, in the dilapidated small hotel outside the school, Yu Fang could not restrain himself and dragged him in again and again. On the wall of the girl's pictorial, in the cramped and cramped bathroom, Yu Fang entered him time and time again, hugged him, and kissed him, without separation or distance, like two drowning people hugging each other tightly, depending on each other.

Even when they first started working, they only met once every half a year. Yu Fang still pulled him into the hotel suite with such enthusiasm. As soon as the door closed, his kiss fell on his lips impatiently.There is no sense of unfamiliarity, no distance, just a kiss, and they know that they love each other deeply.

But now, there are no more words.

He Xi didn't know why the relationship suddenly faded, and he didn't know whether Yu Fang still loved him.

He is timid, timid, cowardly, weak, full of grievances, and has no one to pour out.

The date that that incident happened was half a year ago, and it was also half a year ago that Yu Fang started to be busy and cold. This coincidental time did not allow him to think too much.Yu Fang may already know it. With his ability, how could he not know if there is any disturbance around him.Maybe he was waiting for himself to surrender, maybe he thought he had betrayed him, or even really thought that he cheated and felt too dirty and gave up on him.

Crumbling, depressed and restless, during those days, he struggled repeatedly in despair and hope, he wanted to find an opportunity to tell Yu Fang about that, and tell him that during the days when he was away, he had He needed his comfort and support a lot. He tried many psychiatrists, but none of them worked.

Yu Fang's family is glamorous and enviable on the surface, but when he was five years old, his mother ran away with a man. After experiencing such a blow, his father changed from a good husband who loves the family to a good father , Turned into a self-sacrificing, debauched man.

When Yu Fang told him about it, he hugged him on the bed in the shabby little hotel outside the campus. That was the first time they had sex. After the love, Yu Fang confessed everything to him, especially the inner truth that he could not touch for many years. Touch scars.He said that he hated his mother, made his father into that kind of person, hated his father even more, and shattered all his imagination of a good father.

But what happened half a year ago, he has made Yu Fang almost become the kind of person he hates the most.He wanted to tell Yu Fang, I thought you were the one who was with me that night, I really didn't betray you, I was drugged, I didn't know anything.But when he thought of the slightest disgust that Yu Fang might show, sitting in the happy birthday box was like sitting in a cold prison.

Yesterday, Yu Fang called and said that he would come back on his birthday, and that he had a surprise for him.

He doesn't want any surprises, he just wants to meet Yu Fang, they haven't seen each other for a long time, his love is like a small sailboat on the sea, swaying in the storm caused by the unfamiliarity and indifference of time, facing the Possibility of capsizing.

In the days without Yu Fang, he is like a wandering duckweed with no way back.

He couldn't wait to meet him, tell him that he was terrified and terrified, inferiority and self-loathing, guilt and timidity, almost overwhelmed him.

"He Xi, why don't you blow out the candles first, and it will be twelve o'clock soon, so be lucky. We don't have to worry about eating cake when Yu Fang comes." A colleague reminded him kindly.

"No, I'll wait for Yu Fang." He Xi glanced at his watch and shook his head.

"Okay, let's drink first." The colleague laughed and shouted, "Come on, friends, I wish Xi a happy birthday."

"Come on, cheers!"

A group of people stood up and toasted beer: "Happy birthday, He Xi."

"Come on, drink, drink, let's not get drunk tonight."

Later, the drunk He Xi was sent home by his colleagues.

When he opened the door of the house, He Xi felt that he was still very sober, at least he could feel that the room was empty and unpopular, so he couldn't figure out why it happened after that very unconscious decision.

He Xi lay on the sofa reeking of alcohol, and finally waited for Yu Fang.

He opened the door, and when he walked in with his suitcase, he was standing in the dark corridor. The moment he opened the door, the lights in the room illuminated him very brightly. He Xi, who was dizzy and confused, felt that the person at the door The man is his salvation, he walks in with a cold body, and just a smile can dispel all his tiredness and burdens.

"Are you back?" He Xi stood up with difficulty, and stepped forward to help Yu Fang pull the suitcase.

"Well, I missed your birthday. I'm really sorry." Yu Fang put down his suit jacket, put his arms around He Xi, who had sloppy hair and smelled of alcohol, and said apologetically, "Axi, happy birthday."

"Well. It's good that you're back." He Xi hugged Yu Fang contentedly, wriggling in his arms like a puppy, rubbing his face against his neck.

Then, he asked in a coquettish and flattering tone, "Did you bring any presents?"

In fact, he was just asking casually at that time, like a child who always likes to ask adults for gifts on his birthday. In fact, it is okay to have no gifts. As long as Yu Fang comes back, he will be very satisfied.

If he had known the consequences of asking this sentence at the time, he would never ask for a gift again.

Whatever gift you want, there is no substitute for having Yu Fang by his side.

Hearing his words, Yu Fang was stunned for a moment, seemed to hesitate for a long time, then he pinched his nose with a smile and said, "Yes, wait a minute."

Yu Fang opened the suitcase and searched for a long time, and handed him a bucket of milk powder that was too late to pack, "Happy birthday."

"Sir, a birthday present?" He Xi looked at the bucket of milk powder in a daze, unable to hold it steadily.

"Yes," Yu Fang glanced at the crude milk powder without even a package, and said apologetically, "Actually, I..."

"Why did you give me milk powder?" He Xi interrupted him.

"This, this..." Yu Fang seemed to be unprepared, hesitated, and did not speak for a long time.

When will a person like Yu Fang be too speechless to be asked.

He doesn't when he's guilty, he doesn't when he's lying, he only hesitates when he doesn't want to say it.

Suddenly, the turbulent grievance was like a gust of wind blowing up yellow flowers and flying all over the sky, sweeping away his strength and eroding him, disappearing completely.

Why send a bucket of milk powder? Isn’t it simple? Yu Fang’s sister gave birth to a second child some time ago, and it was just when milk powder was needed. As an uncle, he would think of bringing a bucket of good milk powder back to his nephew when he was on a business trip abroad, but he didn’t remember Do not buy even a trivial gift for your loved one.

I don't want to say it because I can't tell, this bucket of milk powder was not given to him at all.

You can say that you forgot, it's better than perfunctory him with something from a child under the moon.

When did he, He Xi, get so cheap that he wanted to grab something from a baby who could only sleep and cry now?

Yu Fang, it turns out that it only takes four words to hurt a person, and it is an unintentional mistake.

He Xi thought of the hotel he had booked a few days ago, the plane ticket on the bedside in the bedroom, the country he had planned to vacation with while Yu Fang was home.

He seems to have heard flocks of pigeons flying across the square, and he and Yu Fang walked hand in hand along the river, in his arms by the river bank, he told him his uneasiness, what happened to him, his grief and loneliness, There is a strong miss of him.He thought that Yu Fang would comfort him very well, he has always had this ability, he would gently hold his face and kiss him under the blue sky, in the breeze, and in the envious eyes of passers-by, and tell him that everything is fine. passed.

Now, all he could hear was the desperate cry of the seabirds as they left the flying fish and left the open sea for the blue and lonely blue sky.

He Xi looked at the infant milk powder in his hand, and suddenly lost all thoughts.From high school to the present, in the 11 years of getting along, he and Yu Fang have gone from being passionate and inseparable to now being indifferent and alienated. He doesn't know what kind of bad situation the two will get into if they continue.

He can't allow it, he and Yu Fang will come to a day when they hate each other.

After 11 years of bondage, maybe both of them are tired.

Yu Fang has shown his annoyance so nakedly, it is he who showed proper kindness to let him go.

He Xi didn't know how much he drank, so he could calmly say that even if he was drugged, psychological problems caused him to have ED, and he was afraid of Yu Fang's disgust and other worries and fears, he had never thought about it: "Yu Fang Let go, let's break up."

The heavy and tired words fell into the quiet and silent room, like throwing ice cubes into the quilt in the cold winter months. His words were clear and clear, and Yu Fang could understand him very well.

Then he realized that Yu Fang's face could also become so ugly.

"He Xi! Do you know what you said?" Yu Fangqing asked him with a straight face.

The two have been together for so many years, even if they quarreled to the point of fighting, they never proposed to break up with each other.

Because they all know that this sentence is never a joke between lovers, but a fatal blow.

He Xi would never say it.

"I know very well," He Xi nodded dumbly, tired like an old man about to lie down in a coffin, and said again in a rough voice: "We break up, break up!"

"He Xi, you know me very well, even if you are drunk and making trouble out of no reason, I will take it seriously." Yu Fang's cold expression seemed to tear him apart.

Of course, you are not the one who cares the most, you can agree to break up anytime and anywhere, which shows how little you care. I don’t know if it is as heavy as the cotton in the quilt on our bed that has been covered together for several years.

Anyway, after sleeping for so many years, the friendship is so shabby that it makes people sad, Yu Fang, the old man you chased, but you can let him go so easily.

"I cheated." He Xi said.

He has lost his mind, in order to completely let Yu Fang give up, he doesn't know if he is still awake.

Before he came back, he thought of many ways, he wanted to tell Yu Fang that he was bullied, he wanted to tell him what he had experienced under the blue sky with pigeons flying on the bank of the river in the sun, he wanted to comfort, heal, and care , he has been waiting for him, waiting for him to come back.

But even the worst way he could think of to tell it couldn't be worse than it is now.

The two stood in the cold room as if they were lying in a cold coffin, glaring at each other, their eyes were scarlet, and the emotion they carried turned into a heavy dagger. Stab a knife in the place.

If the breakup just mentioned, Yu Fang would be angry but still hesitated, then he will definitely not forgive his betrayal now.He could even imagine that Yu Fang, who was extremely emotionally obsessed with cleanliness, would not even look at him again.

If his face was still ugly just now, then he doesn't know how to describe Yu Fang's expression now.

It's just that after a long time, like all couples in the world like to ask why when they break up, at this time, he has been forced to such a point, and Yu Fang can't help but ask vulgarly: "Why."

Why, can there be a reason, should you ask yourself why, if you really know about that, why can’t you ask me, I really don’t know how to speak, I also want to find a chance to tell you, but since Since that day, you have been cold to me, and you don't even want to see me, and you don't even want to go to my bed.

He almost wanted to laugh, it's fine if he doesn't, anyway, I can't get hard anymore.

If you sentenced me to death without asking about the matter clearly, then I can answer casually.

"Maybe you can say that I'm a wolf who doesn't know how to fuck." He said, under Yu Fang's cold gaze, he felt the pleasure caused by reckless death, and this pleasure was like a sharp knife cutting his flesh, Put his blood.

Yu Fang looked at him with horrified eyes like the sharpest and most indestructible ice in February, piercing his heart throbbing.Like the final trial before going to hell, He Xi was judged by Yu Fang's cold and emotionless eyes, like a despicable poor dirty mouse with nowhere to hide in front of the holy.

Yu Fang seemed to be looking at a broken vase, with stains left by other people's dirty hands on his body, and said without a trace of emotion: "I won't keep you who abused me, let's break up."

When picking up the luggage, he could even calmly say to him, "Thank you for your company for the past 11 years."

He is like a victorious general condescending, looking at him with disdain and disdain, polite and stable, without any change as before entering the door, he can still smile and thank him for his company and gently tell him to break up, and then he pulls up the gang in an orderly manner. The opened suitcase turned and went out, and closed the door considerately by the way, shutting the defeated Clown He in a dark and empty room without a trace of popularity.

That night, He Xi broke up with Yu Fang just like that.

No one thought that the goodbye would be six years later.

The scene of the breakup was too bleak, and He Xi never wanted to think about it. Six years later, when he saw the two people's hands entangled again, he would still think, if this is not a breakup.

He knew very well that Yu Fang broke up without hesitation, Yu Fang had never contacted him in six years, and the reason why Yu Fang was so mean to him when he met again.

Because he cheated.

There are many kinds of mistakes that can be made between lovers, and the mistakes he made were the ones that Yu Fang could not forgive the most.

But now, he said: "Yu Fang, I didn't cheat."

Love to the extreme, big loss.

In a word, kill the Quartet.

Yu Fang looked at him, like a six-year-old child who felt that he had lost the fun of the whole world because he couldn't eat candy, broke down and cried in despair.

He said weakly: "He Xi, do you know what you are talking about?"