Bit by bit

This year, I decided to study by myself. Our family has no money to hire a tutor, and I don’t have the face to go to a cram school, because there is only one cram school near my home. I have already been there once. Many of my classmates have entered the palace of the university.Our house is on the third floor, and we live in the vegetable market. We don’t need someone to wake me up every day. The noise of the vegetable market will wake me up.

Every time I wake up from the dream, my heart hurts so much, I can't go out, people around me think I'm going to college.I was thinking that this is actually quite good, and I do my own thing silently.But my father did something that disgusted me, which made me feel unacceptable.He even told my uncle what I was studying at home, one pass two, another pass a hundred, and then my aunt, cousin, and sister-in-law all knew about it.This is not an honorable thing in the first place. My dad's behavior made me a little incomprehensible, disgusted and even disgusted.

It doesn't matter if others don't understand, but I think my dad should understand me.In fact, before I stayed at home, I had already decided that if I had to go to study, I would choose Shanghai.On the one hand, I can exercise myself, on the other hand, I want to see the outside world.After my father arranged for me, he left.This is not a very good school, and what I thought was a very low score was unprecedented in this school, and it is still high as far as I know.Do you know how strange it is? I was the only one who came to the dormitory I lived in. After my understanding, the other students seemed to be repeating their studies. It turns out that there will be such persistent students in different places. I never I still agree with them from the bottom of my heart.

This school seems to be rich classmates, I seem to be a different kind, and I am the only one in our dormitory, it is even more difficult for me to integrate into their world.Every morning I wake up very early, and I deliberately go to other dormitories to confirm the class time, fearing that if I miss it, I will be recorded as absent and be punished. Once I took a physical education class, I got the wrong time, was recorded as absent and ran away 10 laps of the playground.In this school, there is a girl who has low self-esteem like me. She may be born with dark skin. The classmates saw a white headband on her head with a flower like a rose on it. He just laughed at her and nicknamed her White Rose.In fact, these things make me sad and sad, but I can't tell others.

I never pay attention to those little setbacks.But the reality that made me chill again and again made me feel no warmth at all, and I felt unable to stay in this place.This year, a very good classmate confessed to me. He may think that I am studying in a school in Shanghai, and he must think that I am living a happy life, because when I am studying with him, I am happy every day. heart.Given my situation at the time, I couldn't respond to him, so I refused decisively, and even lied.

I think I can survive in Shanghai, because I feel that with my personality, I have a super strong ability to resist pressure, and I am simply an invincible Xiaoqiang.After a few days of class, I was told to go to military training.I have never complained about the various hardships of military training. Whether it is exposure to the sun or high-intensity physical training, I can always survive with my strong will.The only thing I felt uncomfortable in the military training ground was that I was very hungry and often didn't have enough to eat. What I trained was the speed of eating, and I had to go out to continue training before I was half full.The store at the military training site we came to by car was very popular. I was quite frugal and didn’t know how many expensive snacks I bought there. Alas, the situation at that time was helpless.But after going back, most of the girls asked to change dormitories. I didn't need to change dormitories, but they all had companions, broke into the dormitory like bandits, and called me so that I could move out. I can refuse very hard, but they have too many companions. All kinds of unkind eyes and words made my inferiority complex come out again. I finally moved out. There is a girl named Li Xue that I will never forget for the rest of my life. .Regardless of my feelings, he forced me out and said with a smile that it was for my own good. That kind of chilling smile often appears in my dreams, making me afraid and helpless...

After being forced out of this dormitory, I entered another dormitory. There were three people in this dormitory except me.Now that I think about it, I don’t even remember their names, so I’ll use little A, little B, and little C instead!Little A has never had any verbal communication with the people in our dormitory, unless it is to pay for common things.She seems to be very rich, with as many as five laptops and tablets, and the tea she usually drinks seems to have a special filter, and she is also very mean in dealing with people and things, not a very kind person.Little B is usually very gentle, but it is a little strange. She often smokes in the bathroom in the middle of the night.I often hear her calling boys in the middle of the night, "Do you like me? If you like me, please treat me to KFC this weekend."This is my impression of Little B.Little C's financial situation seems to be not good. She often asks someone to borrow things, but after borrowing things, there is no further information. After borrowing a few times, she gradually understands, and she will pay attention to it.When I lived alone, the school’s water and electricity were enough for me, and there was more. Here, I paid 200 yuan for bathroom repairs and water and electricity bills as soon as I came here.And I paid all kinds of fees every other day.

One thing that made me leave was that after I saw the class teacher received a gift from XX, when some places were going to be limited, I felt that I should leave.I don't want to stay here anymore, there is no reason for me to stay, no one who can be my role model.It was not easy for me to go through the withdrawal procedures, one after another, waiting for this and that.After a long time, I got 1 yuan after deducting various expenses. At that time, my thought was that this money should not be used indiscriminately. This may be the capital for me to move forward or do what I want to do.Even if my parents scold me for restricting me, at least I can save myself once. Many times when I can't hold on, I will remind myself that I am not alone, I am my friend, my best friend.