The Third Rose

After that, they moved out of Song Boyang's house, and Mi Sheng rented a single room next to Chen Xingze's school. Chen Xingze wanted to pay the rent, but Mi Sheng refused.

"You're still a student, don't waste your money."

"No, I can take it, or share it equally, you choose."

Listening to his strong speech, Mi Sheng laughed, and Chen Xingze was lured by that smile, and hugged him.He let Mi Sheng lie in his arms, and Mi Sheng stretched out his fingers to touch his face.

"You want to raise me so much?"

"Yeah, I can support it, and I make money myself."

Chen Xingze took on some composing jobs since his sophomore year, and used to be an entertainment practice. Since he got together with Mi Sheng, he also began to seriously plan his work and life.

Chen Xingze also found a special time to go home and confess to his parents about Mi Sheng. He omitted some things that he could not say, and only told them what he couldn't hide.

"What?" Wu Xingzhi was dumbfounded, "Ten years older than you?!"

"what."

"Then he is over 30 now?"

"Yeah, still young."

"Chen Xingze!"

Chen Xingze cleared his throat, "Age, that's all there is to it, you know I have a classmate in Shanghai who got married in his junior year, and his girlfriend is seven years older than him, the south doesn't really care about age, our side is too backward gone."

Wu Xingzhi said angrily: "Don't do this with me, it's not like I don't have friends in Shanghai!"

Sitting on the sofa, Chen He smoked a cigarette, and said in a deep voice, "Don't make any noise, and then you can talk about his situation in detail, how about his family, education, and work?"

These... do not seem to be very good.

Chen He frowned, "Didn't you be deceived by someone?"

Chen Xingze: "Impossible, we've known each other for a long time."

Chen He: "Then why have you never heard of him before?"

Chen Xingze sat on the sofa with his head bowed.

"I... At first, I didn't look at him that way."

Looking back now, he met Mi Sheng when he was 16, met him when he was 17, and separated from him.During those brilliant and painful years, he devoted himself to You Xiaolin and Lu Hao, and Mi Sheng seemed to be always free and everywhere.

"Dad, Mom, I'm serious, let's date and see first."

Wu Xingzhi said in a low voice: "Your conditions can obviously find better ones."

"It won't get any better."

The older Chen Xingze grew up, the more he felt that the energy of a person's life is limited.He was so precocious, burning with love at a very young age.And he is slow to warm up, each relationship lasts for many years.Before was the most important time in his life. Every song he writes and every piece he composes now has its roots there.

Now it's hard for him to get up the energy to repeat the same thing, understand again, fall in love again, and give everything again.Even if he did, he always felt that something was missing when he thought that that person had never known his childish and affectionate self back then.

Perhaps the phrase "clothes are not as good as newcomers are not as good as old ones" in the old people's mouth is this kind of feeling.

The only person who always exists in his emotional life is Mi Sheng.

In the silence, Chen He said: "If you really like it, let's date and see it. When you grow up, you have your own opinions on many things, but remember to love and respect yourself. You are always a man, and you must understand responsibility and responsibility. "

Chen Xingze felt that in his previous life, he was probably a master of Taoism, who saved all sentient beings, so he was lucky enough to be reborn into such a family in this life.

Chen Xingze moved out of the dormitory and lived with Mi Sheng.While packing his luggage, Shi Kai sat aside and asked, "You have to settle so early?"

"It's early, I'm a year older than you."

Shi Kai pouted, "One year old is nothing, ten years old is great."

Chen Xingze heard what he meant, turned around and pinched his face aggressively.

"Don't talk about him."

Before Chen Xingze always thought that Mi Sheng was the kind of person who liked to play very much, but after living together, he unexpectedly found that Mi Sheng lived much more at home than he thought, and he hardly went out when he was not working.

Ever since Chen Xingze decided to live with Mi Sheng, he never asked his family for money again. This was Mi Sheng's request.Mi Sheng's relationship with his relatives was rigid, and he more or less extended this thought to Chen Xingze's family.In his opinion, Chen Xingze's parents are a great blessing to allow them to live together. If they are allowed to spend money, one day things will turn against each other, and good luck will come to an end.

"I don't need money from your family, I can also pay for your education."

Chen Xingze looked at Mi Sheng who said these words in a serious manner, feeling sore in his heart, he hugged him in his arms and rubbed his face hard.Mi Sheng laughed at him, held his face and kissed him.

However, Wu Xingzhi was afraid of their hard work, so he often sent money to Chen Xingze secretly. When Chen Xingze had more money, he would take Mi Sheng out to eat delicious food. After a year, they ate all the corners of the streets in Shanghai.Chen Xingze likes to go to a Beijing hot pot restaurant on Urumqi Middle Road, which is not very big, and he discovered it by accident.He loves to eat their mutton, and he takes Mi Sheng there almost once a week.In the end, the boss got acquainted with them, and gave them four drunk crabs in autumn. It is said that they specially invited the master to pickle them at home, and they only sold for 200 yuan outside.

Mi Sheng often missed his family, so Chen Xingze took the initiative to contact Mi Jie. Although Mi Jie always had a bad face towards Mi Sheng, she unexpectedly had a good impression of Chen Xingze.Taking advantage of his youth, Chen Xingze pestered her sternly, and a few times he actually managed to get her and her husband to come to Shanghai, and the two families had dinner together.Mi Sheng's mother's condition has improved, and his father's illness will continue.Mi Sheng feels that he owes his family a debt. He and Chen Xingze save money on weekdays, and send Mi Jie the rest of the money to help their parents spend their old age.

Life falls on firewood, rice, oil and salt, stable and dull.

Occasionally, when things are too plain, Mi Sheng will bring some surprises.For example, when visiting the supermarket one day, Mi Sheng picked up a bag of Xizhilang jelly, Chen Xingze was surprised that such an adult likes to eat children's snacks, Mi Sheng just smiled and said nothing.After dinner in the evening, Mi Sheng went to take a shower, and when he came out, he was very charming.Chen Xingze immediately took off the earphones, and a vicious dog threw Mi Sheng down on the bed.Mi Sheng asked him to lie down, sat on him, untied his pants chain with one hand, and took a piece of jelly in his mouth with the other.

That day, Chen Xingze was so stimulated by the new touch that he almost ejaculated prematurely. In the end, Mi Sheng lay on the sweaty Chen Xingze and asked him in a low voice, "Do you like children's snacks?"

Chen Xingze was so excited that he turned over and pressed Mi Sheng under him, covered them both with a quilt, and tickled him inside.In the dead of night, in a corner where no one sees, the laughter of lovers falls like jade beads.

But life isn't all smooth sailing.

With the end of the school days, Chen Xingze slowly stepped into the society and developed his career.He has had successes and has had failures, because he has made a name for himself as a newborn calf, and he has also suffered blows because of his youth and recklessness.But no matter how difficult it is, as long as he thinks that Mi Sheng is still waiting for him in that small house, Chen Xingze's heart will calm down.

Work is getting busier and there is less slow time to consume, and everyone has begun to streamline their social circles.Chen Xingze didn't do it deliberately, but when he came back to his senses, he found that the strongest circle of friends around him was already gay friends represented by Shi Kai.

He understands more and more the biological instinct that like attracts like.

Chen Xingze did not hide his sexual orientation, and some colleagues also knew about his cohabitation with Mi Sheng.Not everyone is You Xiaolin, many people will never apologize to him after saying "disgusting" to him.

Chen Xingze would sometimes be hurt by sudden malice, but fortunately... Fortunately, there is still Mi Sheng, fortunately, there are still those true and pure memories.He always comforted himself, it doesn't matter, the pure land in his heart is bright.The more complicated and dirty society is, the more he should thank God for treating him well.All that he had given and all that he had received, all the impurity-free love had turned into spring mud and came back to protect him.

Life is a journey of tempering.

During Chen Xingze's relationship with Mi Sheng, the deepest conflict occurred in his second year of graduation.

This year, Lu Hao returned to China.

Chen Xingze first heard about Lu Hao when he was in his junior year. There were a few classmates in their high school class who went to the United States. Chen Xingze learned about Lu Hao's social account from one of them. He couldn't log in to the external network in China, so he bought a special one. VPN over the wall to see him.

Lu Hao has already obtained a green card from the United States. The way he got his green card is a bit special, and he went directly to join the army.Chen Xingze saw some photos of him in military uniform on his social account, hanging out with a group of foreigners, laughing and joking, wearing his hat askew, advocating the freedom and evil wind of capitalism.

No pain can be seen from his heartless smile, but when his roommate's mother died of illness, he sent a status, "God seems to like to bring people with similar fate together."

From this sentence, we can more or less see traces of the past.

Chen Xingze also saw that Lu Hao had a girlfriend. He made friends quickly and quickly. His girlfriends included Chinese and foreigners.The last one he had was an international student, and this time he seemed to be serious, and the two traveled to many places together.

When Chen Xingze had nothing to do, he would log on to his account to see where they went to play again and what photos they posted.Seeing that Lu Hao liked his girlfriend so much, he was a little bit disappointed, but he would soon be able to adjust.

Lu Hao had been with his girlfriend for three years, and then one day they had an argument and they broke up.Lu Hao sent a message, "I might be an asshole." The woman reposted the message and commented, "That's right."

The two had a quarrel, and friends on both sides tried to persuade them to make up.Chen Xingze was also very worried. One weekend, when he went up to watch at noon, it happened that Lu Hao updated his status.Chen Xingze calculated the time difference and knew that Lu Hao stayed up late.

What Lu Hao sent was a table full of empty wine bottles, with a sentence——

"I may never be able to treat someone like that again."

He finished posting the message and then deleted it five minutes later.

Chen Xingze sat at the desk for a long time, finally turned on the computer, went to the bathroom and cried heartily.

After being separated for more than seven years, Chen Xingze seldom recalled things about Lu Hao for various reasons.And this is also the first time that Lu Hao mentioned that period of past on social software.His words opened the door to Chen Xingze's memories. Chen Xingze remembered their first meeting in the badminton class, remembered that they played basketball together at school, and remembered that they went skiing on Christmas Eve.

He thought of a lot, and finally cried so hard that he couldn't keep his eyes open.

He was afraid that Mi Sheng would find out, so he turned on the shower and pretended to take a bath.During this period, Mi Sheng knocked on the door, and Chen Xingze was startled. Mi Sheng went outside and said, "I'm going to buy some food, and I'll be back later." Feeling lucky, Chen Xingze relaxed his throat and said, "Okay."

He didn't know that Mi Sheng had been smoking downstairs all the time.

Chen Xingze thought that Mi Sheng didn't know that he read Lu Hao's news, but how could it be possible? To Mi Sheng, Chen Xingze was almost everything to him. Mi Sheng knew all his worries, happy and painful.

He is just enduring.

Not long after, Lu Hao returned to China. In order to visit relatives, he attended You Xiaolin's wedding.

You Xiaolin got married very early, got married right after graduating from graduate school, and his girlfriend is a college classmate.His wedding was held in Beijing and many classmates were invited.Chen Xingze also got in touch with Lu Hao at that time. Lu Hao called Chen Xingze first and asked him if he would go to You Xiaolin's wedding. Chen Xingze said of course he would go. Lu Hao smiled and said, "Then I will go too. I haven't seen you for a long time. Get together."

The wedding took place one winter, and Chen Xingze made preparations for the party, and then went to talk to Mi Sheng.

But Mi Sheng disagreed.

It was fine to read the news online before, but now that Chen Xingze is going to see Lu Hao, Mi Sheng can't allow it no matter what.

Mi Sheng was too afraid of Lu Hao, the kind of fear that went deep into his bones.

The harder Chen Xingze was, the angrier Mi Sheng became, and finally turned his back on him.

"If you dare to go, don't come back."

Chen Xingze was inexplicably fierce.

"what happened to you?"

"Are you embarrassed to ask me what's wrong?"

"Is it okay if I go to a classmate's wedding?"

"Are you just going to a classmate's wedding?"

Mi Sheng stared straight at him, trying to show him through. "Why don't you talk, are you guilty?"

"Why am I guilty?" Chen Xingze frowned, "Can't you be so suspicious all the time, I'm attending a wedding, do you understand the wedding?"

Seeing that he was still arguing, Mi Sheng blushed with anger.

"Are you going to meet the married one? You want to meet the unmarried one!"

Chen Xingze was taken aback for a moment, and finally came to his senses.

"How do you know that Lu Hao is going?"

"I can't know?"

Chen Xingze suddenly remembered that Mi Sheng often used his mobile phone and computer recently. When he asked, Mi Sheng said he was playing games. Chen Xingze also wondered why people who had never played games in Mi Sheng suddenly liked to play games. Now he finally understood.

It was the first time Chen Xingze got angry with Mi Sheng. Mi Sheng used to coax him, but this time he refused to back down.

"Is there anything you can't show me?"

"Then you can't flip like this."

"Are you afraid that I will see you if you have no ghosts in your heart?"

"I didn't tell you because I was afraid you would think too much."

Mi Sheng's face was cold, and he couldn't listen to Chen Xingze's explanation at all. He leaned against the table and said coldly: "Chen Xingze, let me tell you this, you can see anyone you want, even if you cheated on me, I can forgive you, as long as the person is not Lu Hao .”

Chen Xingze was stunned.

"Can you say that again?"

Mi Sheng's lips were pursed like a knife's edge. He also knew that he had said something wrong, but it was hard to stop, and he just didn't want to admit defeat.

"You are really unreasonable." Chen Xingze left behind a sentence, picked up his bag and left.

In fact, the wedding is just an ordinary wedding, and the party is just an ordinary party. We have been away for many years and met in a hurry.

You Xiaolin is much more cheerful than before, he is even more handsome, and he matches his girlfriend very well.

Chen Xingze and Lu Hao met at the entrance of the hotel. As soon as Lu Hao saw Chen Xingze, he rushed over excitedly, "Hey, Chen Xingze!" He put his arms around Chen Xingze's shoulders, making a gesture to throw him over the shoulder, and Chen Xingze kicked him, "You American soldiers! Still using hand-to-hand combat?"

Lu Hao was surprised, "How do you know I'm a soldier?"

"Who doesn't know about you."

Chen Xingze slipped the tongue by accident, but fortunately Lu Hao didn't care at all, and soon started discussing the red envelope for You Xiaolin.

"I just came back yesterday, and I came directly from Luobei. I don't have any cash in my hand. Please give me a red envelope."

"I'm not going to help you, get the money yourself."

"Help, I'll give you dollars."

"No, China can't spend money."

"Chen Xingze! I haven't seen you for so long, can you show some loyalty!"

"Don't talk."

The two entered the hotel arguing all the way. You Xiaolin was entertaining guests. When he saw them, he smiled and said, "Why are you two still the same as before? You get tired of being together as soon as you meet."

When Lu Hao saw You Xiaolin, he immediately put his arms around Chen Xingze, and said provocatively, "That's right, he used to kiss you more than me, and it's the same now!"

You Xiaolin looked at his hand on Chen Xingze's shoulder and sneered.

"You went to America and you're dumber than ever."

"Ah?" Lu Hao seemed to understand, but Chen Xingze raised his head and said with a smile, "Let's go, let's go in."

After they attended the wedding that day, a few classmates who had a good time went out to get together for the second round alone. They booked a KTV, and Lu Hao yelled a tune and went down to drink.Chen Xingze asked him how he was with his girlfriend. Lu Hao glanced at him and muttered, "You know I have a girlfriend? Why do you know everything?"

Chen Xingze didn't drink, and his thinking was much clearer than Lu Hao's.

"Don't be childish, girls will be coaxed."

"Cut." Lu Hao said drunkenly, "You don't even know her and still speak for her."

Chen Xingze smiled.

Lu Hao continued to drink, and asked after a while: "How are you doing?"

"pretty good."

"You didn't even contact me... Hey, you used to like not to contact me, but you wanted me to take the initiative to contact you."

Chen Xingze didn't dare to look at him, and pretended to be relaxed and said, "I'm not afraid that you will find it awkward."

Lu Hao was quiet for a while, then raised the wine bottle and drank it down in one gulp.

"No..." He chuckled lightly and said to himself, "How could it be?"

Chen Xingze felt that they shouldn't talk about this topic. He looked at the students who were singing, but his mind was always on Lu Hao who was drinking.Lu Hao drank two more bottles and yelled, "Wife..."

The music in the KTV was loud, and Chen Xingze felt that the sound was probably his hallucination. He turned his head, saw Lu Hao's red eyes, and knew that it was indeed his call.

The sea has changed.

Lu Hao said, "Is there anyone with you?"

Chen Xingze nodded, "Yes."

Lu Hao smiled and said, "I guess so, you are such a nice person, there must be a lot of people rushing to love you."

Chen Xingze had no choice but to say, "There's no such exaggeration."

"It's not an exaggeration, you're good, you're not an asshole like me."

"Who said you were an asshole?"

"Abby..."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Ah."

"Why did she call you an asshole?"

"I don't know...all kinds of reasons." Lu Hao leaned his head on the sofa and rubbed his forehead with his big hands, "Sometimes I also feel like a bastard, as if I can easily give up everything."

"Don't think so, you're not that kind of person."

Lu Hao thought of something, smiled lightly, and murmured: "But when I think about loving you so recklessly, I know that I am not a natural bastard at least."

Chen Xingze's fingertips trembled slightly, but he finally couldn't hold back, and asked in a low voice, "Have you ever regretted it?"

Lu Hao paused, seemed to review the past, and then said with certainty: "No." He looked at Chen Xingze drunkenly, "If I really went all the way to the dark, then I will probably have to point to this paragraph when I am old." The memory lives."

So far, Chen Xingze finally understood what Zhao Shan said to him back then.

He grabbed Lu Hao's arm and said, "What does it mean to go all the way to the dark? Don't think about it. Let me ask you, do you like Abby?"

Lu Hao frowned, Chen Xingze: "How dare you say you don't like her, have you forgotten the places you walked together? Did you forget what you wished under the pyramids when you went to Egypt?"

Lu Hao was reddened by Chen Xingze's fierce eye circles.

"...How do you even know this?"

As soon as Chen Xingze saw him crying, he knew that no matter what he looked like on the outside, he still had the same character as before, and hadn't changed at all.

"If I remember correctly, Abby has your name tattooed on her wrist."

"Ah."

"That's the position to draw when cutting your wrist. What does that mean? It means that she regards you as important as life."

Lu Hao looked stupid, "Really?"

In fact, it was all nonsense, but Chen Xingze nodded firmly, "Of course."

Lu Hao had that weeping expression again, and Chen Xingze advised him, "Apologize and reconcile with her as soon as you get back, did you hear me?"

Lu Hao remained silent, Chen Xingze: "You don't even listen to what I say?"

Lu Hao finally gave a muffled hum.

"listen……"

In the second half of the party, You Xiaolin rushed over. At that time, Lu Hao was half drunk and half awake. When he saw You Xiaolin, he quietly asked, "...do you still keep the pen he gave you?"

Chen Xingze was sweating from embarrassment, You Xiaolin pushed Lu Hao into the sofa, "Go to sleep quickly."

The classmates coaxed the groom to come here instead of accompanying the bride, You Xiaolin said, "I'll come and see you, I'll leave later." He came to Chen Xingze, "I was too busy just now, so I didn't talk to you ,How are you?"

Chen Xingze: "Very good."

The two chatted for a while, and You Xiaolin said, "I'm free tomorrow, so let me treat you to dinner."

"No, I'll go back later."

You Xiaolin was surprised, "Are you leaving now? You didn't arrive until noon."

Chen Xingze: "Tomorrow Christmas, I have to go back."

"why?"

Chen Xingze smiled, and You Xiaolin said, "Okay, I understand."

Chen Xingze snapped his fingers, "It's easy to talk to smart people."

They chatted for a while, and Chen Xingze got up to leave.

Walking out of the private room, You Xiaolin stopped him at the door.

"I still have the pen." He looked at Chen Xingze and said with a smile, "You have to be good. If you need help with anything, you must come to me."

Chen Xingze joked: "Oh, the researcher appointed by the Chinese Academy of Sciences is a cow."

You Xiaolin snorted, "Get out of here."

Chen Xingze got out of the KTV and took a deep breath in the winter night.

It's really been a long time.

Chen Xingze took a taxi and went straight to the airport. He stopped once on the way and went to a roadside shop to buy a box of gifts.

On the journey again, he stared at the snow scene outside the window and felt that everything was dreamlike.

The neon lights flashed away, and Chen Xingze kept praying in his heart, hoping that everyone's wishes would come true, and that those he loved would have a happy ending.

It was late at night when he returned to his home in Shanghai. When he entered the door and turned on the light, he saw Mi Sheng sitting on the ground with his knees hugged, right where he last saw him, without moving a muscle.

Chen Xingze went over and squatted beside him.

"Mi Sheng."

When he called him, Mi Sheng didn't raise his head, his body trembled slightly, and he hugged his knees even tighter.

"I said the wrong thing," Mi Sheng said hoarsely, "I admit that I said the wrong thing, can't you? You know that what I said was angry, but you just left..."

Chen Xingze hugged him, "I'm sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me this time, and you can look at my mobile phone and computer casually from now on."

His apology made Mi-sung cry even harder.

"I thought you weren't coming back."

"Where can I go if I don't come back?"

He managed to calm Mi Sheng down, and helped him up, Mi Sheng's body was shaking violently. "Have you not eaten all day?" Mi Sheng nodded in embarrassment, and Chen Xingze sighed, "Don't you know you have hypoglycemia? I'm going to cook a bowl of noodles. You wait for me here."

Chen Xingze was boiling water in the kitchen, beating eggs while rice was coming in, and silently washing vegetables beside him.

"Are they okay..."

"It's good. You Xiaolin's wife is more economical than him. All the banquets are packed, and there is no cigarette left."

"Where is Lu Hao?"

"He's pretty much the same as before. He had a fight with his girlfriend before returning to China this time, but I should have persuaded him."

Mi Sheng looked over.

"He has a girlfriend?"

"Sure, it's been so long."

Mi Sheng lowered his head to wash the vegetables again.

"By the way," Chen Xingze thought of something, wiped his hands, and took out a small box from his trouser pocket. "Almost forgot, it's past twelve o'clock, Merry Christmas."

Mi Sheng watched in a daze as Chen Xingze took out a star pendant necklace from the box.

Chen Xingze put on a necklace for Mi Sheng, "Put this on first, and I will give you a better one later."

Mi Sheng pinched the star with his slender fingers and looked at it for a long time.

Chen Xingze felt that his expression was really cute, so he bent over and said, "Kiss me."

Mi Sheng touched Chen Xingze's lips, and Chen Xingze went back to beat the eggs contentedly.

"Mi Sheng."

"Ah."

"I love you."

"Ah."

"I will love you forever."

"Um……"

A long time ago, Chen Xingze thought about when he would say these words.Most of the scenes in his fantasies were impassioned, and he never imagined that he would make such a solemn oath while cracking eggs.

Mi Sheng has been looking at the necklace, he may not know what this sentence means to Chen Xingze, but it doesn't matter, Chen Xingze is used to unilateral promises.

During the festival celebrating the birth of Christ, Chen Xingze decided to carry a cross named "eternity" for himself.

Today, tomorrow, when you wake up, and in your dreams, if there is reincarnation, it should be counted together.Whether Cheng Dieyi or Naoe Nobutsuna, no matter who sets the standard, he is confident that he can do it.

Chen Xingze cooked the noodles and brought them to the table outside.

He watched Mi Sheng eat and said with a smile: "Eat more, you must live a long life, I just want to live to ninety."

There is still a long way to go in the future, covered with thorns and thorns, let’s keep the past in the bottom of my heart, brew a pot of good wine, pour a cup when you are tired, get drunk, wake up, pat the dust, and go your own way.

Mi Sheng lowered his head, as if tears fell into the soup.

The lights of Wanjia outside the window had been turned off. After eating, Chen Xingze washed the dishes and went to sleep with rice in his arms.

In the dream, there is snow floating.

——End of full text——

The author has something to say: a short article commemorating a past event, hoping that everyone can realize their wishes and have a happy ending.