when i'm not young

But he misses it, and He Sheng has to video call him every night to remind him that you are not alone, you are a man with a man, and you have to think about me when you should.

The signal over there is not good. What annoyed He Sheng the most was that during a video play, He Sheng grabbed his baby and was about to go. Name, just as it was reaching the summit, the signal was interrupted.

It's not right for He Sheng to continue, and it's not right to take a cold shower, and he is alone with the pillow between his legs.

Li Ling has been driving by himself after get off work for the past two days. When he goes to the underground garage to pick up his car, he always sees a man sitting in a Buicker.Originally, this phenomenon was very common. It is very common for car owners to sit in the driver's seat in the parking lot.But Li Ling noticed this person because the person in the driver's seat was looking at him.

Some strange bad thoughts popped out of him, and he attributed these inexplicable worries to scaring himself after watching too many suspense and thriller movies recently.

But today, he saw the owner of the car walking towards him.

The man walked towards him step by step and looked at him with a cold smile on his lips, steady steps and firm eyes.His temples were a little gray, and he seemed to be in his fifties, and his energy was faintly exhausted.

Li Ling seemed to be nailed in place, unable to move his legs, watching him stretch out his hands...

"Hello, Li Ling."

Li Ling blinked his eyes, wondering whether he should hand over his hand or not.

"I'm He Sheng's father, we met once before, remember?"

He Sheng's father?

Li Ling squinted his eyes and looked at the man for a few seconds, and finally remembered that he had indeed met He Sheng's father before, but he didn't know his face clearly.

In the last semester of the second year of high school, he and some male and female classmates went to He Sheng's house to play. It should be He Sheng's birthday that day.He Sheng's house is quite big, a small three-story villa with a yard, parking lot and basketball court.Li Ling helped He Sheng arrange snacks, some boys played games, some went to play ball, some girls sat together and talked secretly, Li Ling found that a girl blushed and looked at him a lot Second-rate.

As soon as the eyes met, the woman moved her head away in shock and hit the female companion beside her, who laughed softly.

Li Ling couldn't remember their names, but he still remembered the first time he was confessed by a girl.

He Sheng's parents are not at home, so they give the space to the children to be crazy. In fact, both of them are very busy with their respective businesses, and He Sheng doesn't care. He is used to it. "Li Er, let's go wash some fruits, that box of cherries was sent by my father's company, if you don't want to eat it, don't eat it!"

"Li Er, cook me a bowl of longevity noodles. They said that you have to eat noodles and eggs on your birthday."

After calling a few more times, a courageous girl said: "He Da Da! How can you keep dominating Li Xueba? We haven't exchanged learning experience with Xueba."

He Sheng embraced Li Ling, breathing out his nostrils: "Hmph, why, are we in a good relationship?"

Li Ling blushed and said, "I'll cook noodles for you."

At this time, the bold girl pulled up the girl who was peeking at Li Ling, and said, "Let's go to the scene to observe and give guidance!"

"Li'er knows how to cook noodles, don't worry about it!" He Sheng wanted to stop him.

"Then let's go and enjoy it."

The girls talked so much, He Sheng was embarrassed to stop them, and let them in sideways.He stood at the door of the kitchen and shouted to Li Ling: "What, Li Er, I'll see if the cake has been delivered." He refused to leave right away, rubbed his nose and stretched his neck to look at it, reluctantly. away.

Not knowing what happened in the kitchen, He Sheng saw the two women coming out, and one of them had red eyes.

He felt a little refreshed, so he played more vigorously.

In the evening, the girls went back, and a few boys found a place to sleep by themselves, or planned to stay overnight with the game console.

Li Ling went to get the coat on the sofa, and put it on as he walked, his movements were very light.

In the darkness, his hand was held by He Sheng, he stopped, squatted beside the sofa, and looked at He Sheng whose face was covered with moonlight.He Sheng is very handsome, he has always been a kind of pampered handsome, clean and unassuming, he likes to smile, every time he shows two canine teeth, sometimes he likes to wink at you.Li Ling looked at He Sheng's eyes half full of moonlight, and asked softly, "What's the matter?"

Before He Sheng let go, he changed from pulling to holding.He smiled and drank too much wine, so he smelled a little alcoholic.He Sheng exhaled gently and slowly, his voice seemed to be brewed in a fragrant wine cellar, which made Li Ling a little dizzy. He said, "Li Er, I am so happy today."

"Just be happy."

"Li Er, won't you make it?"

Li Ling was still squatting, feeling that the situation was a little ambiguous, and a little too beautiful, too beautiful to be real... Just like in a dream, he dreamed of He Sheng hugging him, kissing him and rubbing against him more than once, and he responded to his warmer words Kiss, Li Ling bowed his head and did not answer, He Sheng took his hand and put it on his lips and kissed.

He Sheng's kiss was very light, even negligible.But a kiss is a kiss.

Li Ling swallowed, not knowing what to do.He knew that his face was blushing, and he was lucky to have the cover of the night so that he would not lose face.He thinks that rationally he should ask what you are doing, or just walk away, but he maintains that posture, neither withdrawing his hand, nor opening his mouth to question.

I forgot how long the time passed, and the hall lights suddenly turned on.The two of them were so focused that they didn't hear the sound of He Sheng's father coming back and opening the door.

"...I thought it was time for my son to sleep in his room after playing until two o'clock in the morning." A man said, his voice was calm and composed, but also displeased.

That's right, any parent would be upset to see the rickety wine bottles and snack bags all over the floor, the cakes on the wall, and the son sleeping on the sofa when they come home.

Li Ling stood up, his face was no longer hot, but the anemia caused his ears to ring for a while. He felt that He Sheng said something to his father. He Sheng's father glanced at him and nodded to him. Li Ling He couldn't hear his own voice, but he knew he was saying goodbye and said, "Hello, Uncle. I'm sorry to bother you today. I'll go home first."

He Sheng said he was going to send him off, but he heard it because the tinnitus had passed.

He said no.

When he felt that he was despicably thinking that He Sheng might also be like him, and Xiao thought about some skin-to-skin relationship, He Sheng was the same as usual, talking and laughing and putting arms together, as if that night was just He Sheng didn't remember anything when he was drunk.

Several times he really wanted to ask He Sheng, what did you mean when you kissed me (hand) that day, but when he saw He Sheng's smile, he retreated again.

"One more sentence is afraid of interruption, and one less sentence is afraid of regret." He was hanging like this, and the expectations in his heart seemed to be suspended in the air, unable to touch the ground, unable to be grounded, erratic, and unpredictable.

Then, He Sheng went abroad, and then lost contact.

At this time, Li Ling picked up a chopstick of noodles and put them in his mouth, he ate tremblingly.The man opposite is He Sheng's father, why is he looking for me?Did he know that He Sheng had gone to Yunnan to persuade me to leave Lao He?Why didn't he eat noodles and kept looking at me?

No matter how strong Li Ling's business ability is usually, whenever he and He Sheng's relationship matters, he will immediately show his true colors, without ideas, confidence, flustered, and at a loss.

"He Sheng... are you two alright?"

Li Ling swallowed his face, feeling that he would lose his words if he said too much, and he wanted to establish a stable and mature image in front of his father-in-law (he called him privately), so he said concisely: "Not bad."

He Sheng's father put down his chopsticks and looked around the noodle shop in a daze, with a look of nostalgia on his face: "In the past, He Sheng's mother and I started our fortune from the noodle shop, then established chain stores, and then developed the noodle culture. So today I invite you to eat Now, you don't mind accompanying the old man to reminisce about the glorious years?"

"No, the noodles are delicious."

"Can He Sheng make noodles?"

The noodles made by my old He are delicious, with his original soup!It's even more delicious than here!But when he thought about it, Li Ling's heart was full of excitement, but his mouth was calm: "I will do it."

He Sheng's father nodded, looked at Li Ling and said, "I've never seen He Sheng enter the kitchen, and I really want to try it if I have the chance——At that time, He Sheng told me that I like men, and I beat him hard. "

As soon as Li Ling stopped chopsticks, his eyes were full of doubts and surprises, as well as some anger.

"Don't you know? It was before he went to school to go through the withdrawal procedures."

"I guess the person he likes should be you."

"Didn't he tell you?"

He Sheng's father slammed three sentences in a row to give Li Ling the urge to put the noodle bowl on his father-in-law's head.

So, that day when He Sheng came to class to pack his schoolbag, his walking was unsteady, his back was swaying, was he beaten up by his father?

He used his back to shield him from the contempt and hatred of the outside world, and kept silent for so many years.

I am so unresponsive, I am no different from a child in front of you, I often have a lower IQ, I am always cheating, and I like to bully you, most often complain that you are not good to me, you are overbearing and authoritarian, you do not spoil me , you don't tell me anything, do I never know what you blocked for me for the rest of my life?

Li Ling reacted so strongly because He Sheng's father said something again.

On this day, it was supposed to be a breezy evening. I don’t know when it will start. The air is low and oppressive, and the dark sky is like a pot turned upside down. The words of He Sheng’s father are no different from that dark and heavy pot. In Li Ling's heart.In Li Ling's hand was a cigarette he asked He Sheng's father to bring, and when the cigarette burned to two thirds, he got up irritably and drove home alone.

He was sitting in the living room without turning on the light, and his mind was going back and forth about what He Sheng's father said later.

At that time, his parents divorced, and He Sheng originally planned to live with his father, but when he confessed to his father that he was gay, he was beaten very badly by his father.Who was his father before, he was in charge of the spoon, his arms were amazing, how painful it would be to hit He Sheng who was still a boy with a fuck.

Li Ling's throat seemed to be stuffed with a ball of cotton, and he coughed with tears that he missed many years ago.

It is absolutely not good for a man in his thirties to cry, so he does not turn on the light, he starts to cry, he is just sad about the long-awaited truth.

The author has something to say: I don’t think jj will be needed after posting this...