old cosmic particle

At the beginning of April, the three ghosts entwined around Su Weiyi had been burrowing into his dreams for three consecutive days.They seemed to have lost interest in Su Weiyi's body, and instead devoted themselves to the dream world, occupying Su Wei Wei's brain and controlling his dream world.

In most of Su's only dreams, he does not have himself, maybe there is, but he has become another person.

The protagonist of the dream on the first night was Liu Xia's nurse. The dream showed her whole life, from birth to death.Her childhood was carefree; she played with friends in junior high school; she had her first boyfriend, her first love, in the first semester of senior high school, and they broke up peacefully in the last semester of senior high school. She failed the college entrance examination, repeated her studies, and was admitted to the second medical school hospital.She was stalked by bad guys when she was in college and nearly died, so every day after that, she carried a jackknife with her whenever she went out.

When she was 23 years old, she worked as a nurse in Liu Xia's clinic, and the children who came to see her liked her.One afternoon, a young man came here to see a doctor. His face had no facial features, but a flat face.He had a cold, flushed cheeks, watery eyes like pools of water—dreams have no logic, these beautiful eyes only appeared for a moment.The nurse gave him an injection. He pulled up his pants and said with a mouthless face, sister nurse, you are so beautiful.At that moment, under the clear sky of hundreds of thousands of miles, the pink petals fell out of thin air, covering the whole land with profusion.Her heart was beating like thunder.

It was at this time that the tone in the dream turned rose-colored, and Su Weiyi even smelled the scent of rose essence.The hands of the clock speeded up and came to that day, the day the nurse died.

The nurse was putting needles on Shenliu, the owner of the black Internet cafe. After putting on the tape, she said, does the injury on your back still hurt?

God VI said that it hurts when the weather is humid.

It's normal, the nurse said, you haven't come to our clinic for a long time, remember to come and sit often.

Why does it sound so strange.

The nurse covered her mouth and smiled.What's this?The nurse picked up a transparent glass spray bottle from under the feet of Shenzhou VI, and there was still a third of the bright yellow liquid in it. She asked Shenzhou VI, yours?perfume?

Yes, Shenzhou VI said, it actually fell out.

The nurse looked around with the bottle, what brand is it?Why is there no sign on it?It tastes so sweet, planty, woody, and cakey?What kind of perfume is this?It makes me hungry, where did you buy it?

My mother tuned it herself.

Your mother is a perfumer?The nurse asked, she reluctantly handed the spray bottle to Shenzhou VI, but when Shenzhou VI was about to take it, she withdrew her hand again, can you spray it?She sprayed a little on her wrist before returning it to Shenzhou VI.Does your mother still sell this perfume?I want to buy it, the nurse carefully sniffed the fragrance on her wrist.

My mother is dead, Shenzhou VI said.

Liu Xia called her from the other side, I'm hungry, hurry up and buy some supper, the money is under the counter, take it yourself, I want to eat seafood noodles.

Before leaving, the nurse asked Shen Liu if she wanted to bring him something to eat.Shenzhou VI shook his head and said, no need.

Holding coins and a jackknife, the nurse went to the Hedong Night Market to buy two bowls of seafood noodles.On her way back, she met a faceless boy who was sitting on the locomotive and talking to a girl on the side of the road.The nurse came to them, the girl left, and the nurse called his name.The nurse asked him to go for a walk, and they chatted as they walked along the road. They chatted so happily that even when they passed by Liu Xia's clinic, the nurse didn't stop.She should have stopped, but some kind of thought drove her, making her unable to stop, unable to part with this boy.

They were sitting on the steps at the entrance of the small pier. The wind was very strong. The faceless boy took off his coat and put it on for the nurse.The nurse smiled shyly, then remembered the seafood noodles in her hand, and gave him a bowl.The face was a little cold, the nurse looked at him apologetically, but he said, it's not cold, it's not cold with you.

Let's walk down, I want to see the river, said the nurse.

They went to a darker place, and they couldn't even see each other's faces clearly. They could only hear the amplified sound, the engine, the current, the river wind, and the breath.The nurse took off the boy's coat and said, you need it more than I do, you're cold.The boy took the clothes and put them on, chuckled lightly, it's okay.The nurse's heart was beating wildly in her chest, she spread out her palm, the pocket knife was still there, and the change fell down.

My flesh is warm, you need me, the nurse said again, I like you, can I be with you?

The faceless boy didn't speak. When he didn't speak, he was like an unfinished wood carving.

The nurse unbuttoned the nurse's uniform and opened the pocket knife, revealing the sharp blade. She asked eagerly, are you cold?are you hungry?She lifted up the hem of her clothes, revealing her flat belly. Based on her feeling, she cut open her skin with the tip of a knife and dug out a piece of fresh flesh.She handed the piece of meat that was still warm to the boy. After eating it, I can be with you forever, and it will make you warm. Can you eat it?

The faceless boy took a step back, stepped on the gravel, and almost slipped.

It's delicious, try it, the nurse is carrying the piece of meat, go one step forward, if you don't believe me, let me eat it for you.She opened her mouth, her teeth suddenly became sharp, she took a bite of her own flesh, chewed it like she usually eats with the blood, chewed it into pieces and swallowed it, she licked her lower lip unsatisfied.

I kid you not, come and have a taste.

The faceless boy still didn't make a sound, he turned his flat face to the nurse, then took out his mobile phone from his purse, turned on the flashlight, and the strong light shone on the nurse.He saw the nurse's frenzied and horrified eyes, the blood around his mouth, and the blood hole on his waist and abdomen.His hands shook uncontrollably.Don't come here, the boy yelled.

not hungry?The nurse threw away the piece of meat without hesitation, then grinned again, with an obsessed and crazy expression, are you thirsty?She held the jackknife backwards, facing herself with the tip of the knife, stabbed it into her arm quickly and accurately, and pulled it out, blood sprayed out.

It's delicious, come and have a drink.

The faceless boy froze. If he had teeth, he would definitely start a fight.

Seeing that he didn't move much, the nurse stabbed into his palm again.Don't like arms?What about the blood in the palm of your hand?Don't like it yet?that neck?thigh?chest?So, do you like the heart?The nurse shook her head, this is not acceptable, the heart will stop, and the blood will not be warm after I die, you should hurry up and drink it while it is hot.

The boy turned around and ran, running forward desperately.Countless colorful balloons suddenly rose up behind him, and the night gradually faded and became brighter as the balloons ascended. The bright red sun hung in the sky, and the orange and purple rays of light painted the entire sky.

The dream ended here. When Su Weiyi woke up, his whole body was drenched. His hands and feet got cold.He glanced at the head of the bed and the window sill, and secretly heaved a sigh of relief. Fortunately, the ghost Nan Yuan did not sit on his window sill or the head of the bed.He was lying on the bed, his hair was damp against his forehead, he was panting, his chest was heaving.

He saw himself in a dream, in a posture overlooking the earth.It wasn't a dream at all, but some small details were different.He didn't take off his coat at all that day, it was impossible to put it on for the nurse, she wore it thicker than him; he didn't eat that cold bowl of seafood noodles, let alone say that clichéd love story.He remembered that what he said was that the noodles are not good if they are cold, and I am going home, it is too cold here.When the nurse said that she liked him and wanted to be with him, he obviously answered, but in the dream, he didn't say anything without facial features.

The protagonist of the dream on the second day was the girl in red, Zhou Nuo, a rippling young girl's heart, sweet and tender with green cockroaches. In the dream, Su Wei could see her standing under the shower head, naked to greet her. Spilled hot water.He has a wet dream.

The protagonist of the third day is Nam Won who jumped off the building.

At first, Su Weiyi didn't want to sleep, his limbs ached from being entangled in the previous two dreams, making him look like a patient, unable to lift his spirits.He drank two cups of strong tea, and five minutes later, he drank a can of Red Bull, but it still didn't help much, he was sleepy, very sleepy.He put his whole head under the tap and let the cold water pour over his head.Feeling less sleepy, he turned on the computer and logged into the League of Legends.He wants to use the fighting in the game to make himself more energetic, he doesn't want to sleep, he doesn't want to dream.However, when the game was loading, a person on the opposite side dropped the line and was stuck at 5%. He sat on the chair, but he still couldn't resist, and fell asleep with his head tilted.Immediately after the dream was staged.

The opening scene is Nan Yuan as a child, holding a crayon in his left hand, and drawing pictures alone on the table.

He seems to be alone since he was a child, he doesn't like to laugh, he is not lively, he has no friends, and his peers don't like to play with him.There was a little girl who felt compassion for him who was lonely, she ran over to hook his hand, Nan Yuan Nan Yuan, let's play together.Nan Yuan shook off her hand, no, I don't like to play with you.He was telling the truth, but the little girl's soft heart was hurt. Tears filled her eyes, and she looked at him with her mouth pursed.

Don't look at me like that, Nan Yuan said impatiently, he hates others crying the most.

The little girl cried out, "If you don't play, then don't play, why are you so fierce."

Ou Huiye ran over from nowhere. He grabbed the little girl's hand and said to Nan Yuan, why did you make her cry?Nan Yuan turned around and left, Ou Huiye grabbed his arm, it was all your fault, she kept crying.

You are so annoying, Nan Yuan pulled out his arm forcefully.

Ou Huiye's expression was a bit ferocious, Nan Yuan thought he would hit him, but he didn't, he glared at Nan Yuan, turned his head to face the little girl, made a face at her, showing his face missing two front teeth Mouth, he said with a leaky mouth, he knew how to cry, hey, your nose is running out.It was at this time that Nan Yuan began to notice Ou Huiye, and then became unable to extricate himself.Nan Yuan couldn't tell why, maybe it was liking, maybe envy, or some kind of inexplicable attraction.

Because of a strange coincidence, Nan Yuan and Ou Huiye were in the same class from elementary school to junior high school.Ou Huiye can always absorb all of Nan Yuan's eyes, and before Nan Yuan can react, he can already feel sad and happy because of Ou Huiye's every move.But the strange thing is that he doesn't want to be with Ou Huiye, holding hands, hugging, and kissing like a real couple. Whenever he thinks of this scene, he gets goosebumps all over his body.It's unbearable, he thought, it's terrible.He couldn't imagine Ou Huiye staring at him with tender eyes, if he would, Nan Yuan would give him a brick.

When he realized that this emotion was out of tune with the masses, he was first surprised, then angry, and then delighted.He likes this unique feeling. Of course, the classmates around him also have the same preference as him. They all like this uniqueness—no matter what aspect it is.

Mo Shiguang was transferred to the Nanyuan class in the second year of junior high school. Everyone thought it was strange to transfer from the provincial capital to the county middle school, but it was not surprising later, because he was not good at all, and he was studying alone in the provincial capital. Definitely don't worry.

After Mo Shiguang became Nan Yuan's deskmate, Nan Yuan gave a small part of his attention to the transfer student.After all, his new deskmate always patted him on the shoulder and said, "The teacher is here to call me; thank you for borrowing a pen; have you finished your homework and borrowed it to copy it; why don't you like to talk, how boring; and so on."

Nan Yuan doesn't like playing games, he only likes to draw some paintings, but one day he accidentally learned from Mo Shiguang that Ou Huiye likes to play League of Legends, so he started his game journey.Ou Huiye likes to play ADC, so Nan Yuan went to practice support and played day and night. For this, his parents scolded him a lot.Once, at the instigation of Mo Shiguang, the two of them skipped class—it was the only time Nan Yuan skipped class—to go to a black Internet cafe to have a blackout.Nan Yuan rejected Mo Shiguang at first, but Mo Shiguang said casually, let's go together, the old wild hospital bed is still getting up and masturbating, why are you so useless, why don't you just skip class.Later, until Nan Yuan died, Nan Yuan failed to fight Ou Huiye in the League of Legends, and all the Thresh he practiced so hard was used to assist Mo Shiguang.

After finishing his homework, he always closes the door and paints watercolors. Most of his paintings are the sky and birds.He would open the windows and carefully describe the vast world, and the flying birds were his imagination. These birds have three wings, and some have half. He always doesn't like to draw them symmetrically.He never draws the sun, he draws the moon. There is never a full moon in his world, and there is always a missing piece.Sometimes, various creatures are carried on his bird's back, and those are small animals that were split from himself.

One day, his parents broke into his room and found a complete drawing kit. He tried to stop them, but he was too weak (he rarely exercised) and was pushed to the ground by his father.My mother took his paints, palettes, pens of various sizes, and a thick stack of drawing paper, which she crumpled up and threw into a trash bag.At that time, Nan Yuan didn't even know how to breathe. He felt that his mother had thrown away his heart and shattered his world.He wanted to resist, he rushed over, his father held his wrist tightly, and said harshly, don't think about anything else, what's the use of painting?

He stretched out his other hand in an attempt to stop his mother who opened the door.

His father dragged him further away from the door, and said, if I see you playing games next time, the same will happen to your computer.Then he said, can you fucking be a little bit more lively?Look at you, lifeless like a ghost.

It was a long time before he relented a bit, at least on the surface.

After the senior high school entrance examination, Nan Yuan chose No. 90.00 Middle School, and [-]% of the children from urban areas chose No. [-] Middle School. Regardless of everyone's opposition, he resolutely went to No. [-] Middle School to sign up.His father was so angry that he was forced to transfer him to No. [-] Middle School.He locked himself in the room, claiming that he would not come out unless he was allowed to go to the Fourth Middle School.The father was furious and used all kinds of violence on the door of the room, chopping with a kitchen knife, kicking with his feet, and accompanied by verbal attacks.Nan Yuan shrank in the corner, trembling all over, he was afraid.This scene is a bit like the movie "The Shining", but in the movie, the protagonist's father used an ax to chisel the door. Fortunately, Nan Yuan's family did not have an axe.

Two days later, the parents compromised, perhaps because they were afraid that the family ugliness would not be publicized. Nan Yuan's parents did not invite anyone to pick the lock. Nan Yuan was still a little scared afterwards. What would he do if he picked the lock?Later, when he was standing on the high roof of the top floor, he found the answer. If he picked the lock, he would jump off.

Nan Yuan never thought of expressing his inner thoughts to Ou Huiye. He likes this kind of secret love full of distance. Compared with two people, he is still more keen to play with himself. I like Ou Huiye itself, but I like the process of it.

One day he passed by a stationery store. After hesitating for a moment, he went in and bought a box of 12-color solid watercolor paints, a set of brushes, and a 300g watercolor book.He thought, this time he should hide it well.He was carrying the bag, and within 3 minutes of walking out of the stationery store, he bumped into a man, he was taller than Nan Yuan, and the man said, sorry.Nan Yuan didn't even look up at the person in front of him, and left.But as a bystander of the dream, Su Weiwei could see clearly that the man was of mixed race, with fluffy brown hair, light-colored eyes, and the owner of a dark Internet cafe, Shen VI.

Shenzhou VI was still standing there, he thought for a while, took out a glass spray bottle from his purse, and sprayed it into the air at will, the wind at that time was blowing north, and the wind carried the essence to the south Yuan slowly passed over.It was at this time that a flower of desire bloomed in the barren world in Nan Yuan's heart. He began to yearn for Ou Huiye's sight and touch, and wanted a place in the depths of his mind. Whether it was good or bad, he wanted to take root In Ou Huiye's brain.Even so, Nan Yuan still didn't have any intention of staying with Ou Huiye for life.His confession was just out of some bad taste, which made it difficult for Ou Huiye to sleep because of him.

And on New Year's Eve, Nan Yuan called Ou Huiye. He held a third-rate love novel and read the lines in it in conjunction with the current plot. Later, he couldn't help it anymore and laughed wildly.He hadn't smiled so happily in a long time, and he was really happy.He pinched his last painting, standing on the high top floor, with the wind blowing, he was thinking, what posture should he use to fall to splash more blood, how to burst his head to be more shocking, to put Ou Huiye's memory was deeply burned into his broken appearance.Jump straight?Falling on his back?Or throw out your arms?

Nan Yuan looked at Ou Huiye on the distant street, he paced up and down the street alone, looking so small.Nan Yuan suddenly wanted to follow his own heart and put aside all distracting thoughts.So Nan Yuan pinched the painting, held the phone, opened his arms like a bird, and looked down at all land creatures.He wants to fly high.

Su Weiyi went to find An Xiuwen, and after his self-study next night, he asked An Xiuwen to go to the dessert shop.An Xiuwen ordered Xuemei Niang, red bean and taro balls, mango panji, a plate of duck feet, and a glass of lemonade. "Can you finish eating?" Su Weiyi said.

"Anyway, it's your treat," An Xiuwen's mouth was stuffed. "What do you want from me?"

Su Weiyi asked directly, "Your cousin, Nan Yuan, likes to draw?"

An Xiuwen was stunned for a moment, "It seems that his parents don't like his paintings. His mother told me that his mother once threw away all his paintings. In fact, his mother felt very distressed because the paintings were really good. That's good. No, why are you asking this?"

"I can see Nan Yuan's ghost, do you believe it?"

"Really?"

"Really, I dreamed about him."

"What did you dream about him?" An Xiuwen was so surprised that he even forgot to chew on the duck's feet.

"I've seen his whole life, but I don't know if it's true. I'm not familiar with him."

That night, Su Weiyi and An Xiuwen checked the dream and reality, the matching rate was 50.00%, and the other half was unknown to An Xiuwen, so he couldn't tell whether it was true or not.At the end of the comparison, An Xiuwen proposed to call Mo Shiguang and Ou Huiye, but Su Weiwei rejected it. He said, "It's fine to call Mo Shiguang, but Lao Ye can't."

"why?"

Su Weiyi thought for a while before saying, "I think this is Nan Yuan's secret, so I can't tell it."

"I promise not to tell, he is my brother!"

Su Weiyi still didn't say anything, he called Mo Shiguang, originally Mo Shiguang wasn't coming, so he said, it has something to do with Sixth Brother, so you said you're coming or not?

At that time, Mo Shiguang was playing Metal Gear at Nian Sinian's house. Nian Sinian was taking a shower. He hung up the phone and said loudly in the direction of the bathroom, take your time and I'm going home.Before Nian Sinian could reply, he left.

In April, Yuan Ci had lost his enthusiasm for cleaning up the mess and obeying the law, and Mo Shiguang was able to ride his red motorcycle around the streets again.

"Let's talk." Sitting next to An Xiuwen, Mo Shiguang took out a pack of cigarettes, and smoked one with Su Weiyi.

"How is Nanyuan Thresh doing?" Su Weiyi said.

Mo Shiguang looked at him in surprise, "The king is five, but why are you asking this?"

"Oh, my God, this is it."

An Xiuwen glared at Su Weiyi, "He doesn't play often! The full level is not bad!"

"Fart, he bought it." Mo Shiguang said, and then he took a puff of cigarette, "Quickly get to the point."

"I had a dream," Su Weiyi said.

Su only kept his first two dreams, which were his business, and he felt that he should not tell others, even his best friend. Friends are for sharing happiness, not pouring out darkness.He briefly recounted Nan Yuan's story, skipping over Nan Yuan's obsession with Ou Huiye, and focused entirely on Shenzhou VI and his glass spray bottle.

"You mean, that thing can make people weird and twisted?" Mo Shiguang said with a calm expression, as if Shenzhou VI, who was classified as a dangerous person by Su Weiyi, had nothing to do with him.

"Black technology!" An Xiuwen exclaimed.

Su Weiyi gloated at Mo Shiguang, "Maybe you've been sprayed too."

"Who knows."

"You definitely don't believe it," Su Weiyi said, "You always don't believe this or that, who do you believe?"

"There's a lot of nonsense, so hurry up and say what you want to say."

"You don't believe me, what's the use of telling me?"

"Then what did you call me to do?"

Su Weiwei was a little helpless, "I just asked you to ask Nan Yuan's level, is it the same as what I dreamed about?"

"Is that the same?"

"Same."

Mo Shiguang thought for a few seconds, "I believe in you, you continue."

"There's nothing else to say, oh, by the way, Liu Xia's nurse, she also sprayed that thing, when your sixth brother went to Liu Xia's clinic to hang salt water." Su Weiyi thought of something, with a nasty smile, "I In the dream, I heard that your sixth brother has an injury on his back, I asked you, is there any injury on his back? Have you seen it? "

Mo Shiguang finally became serious. He put the cigarette butt out in the ashtray, and said, "I believe you."

At this time, Mo Shiguang's cell phone rang, and it was Nian Sinian.He glanced at Su Weiyi, and then pressed on.

"How did you walk so fast?" Nian Sinian said.

"My mother didn't bring the key, so I opened the door for her when I came back."

Nian Sinian smiled over there, which made Mo Shiguang's heart itch.

"See you tomorrow then."

After hanging up the phone, Su Weiyi asked him, "Is your sixth brother still in Yuanci?"

"exist."

"Then go and look for it," Su Weiyi said, "see if you can find that glass bottle."

"What if you can't find it?"

"It's okay if we can't find it. If we find it, we don't know how to use it. In case we have to recite some spells or something." Su Weiwei knocked on the table, repeatedly, "Look, can you find out his purpose?" , What does he want to do, who is he?" Su Weiyi wanted to tell them several times, and he also sprayed the bright yellow spray, but when the words came to his lips, he swallowed them again, and he couldn't say anything.He thought about what happened to the nurse and Nan Yuan, they got sprayed with Shenzhou VI spray, and then died, so young.

He faintly expected, his fingertips trembled uncontrollably, his cells were so excited that he was about to scream, he was about to fight death.No more talking, no one talking, he said to himself in his heart that he wanted to fight the unknown alone.

Then suddenly he remembered Nasus' line—

Birth and death, reincarnation is endless, we live, they die.

Note: Birth and death, reincarnation is endless, we live, they die.From League of Legends dog head Nasus