Gu Nianruochu

The heavy rain, which lasted all morning, subsided slowly at sunset. The sun slanting in the west lay low on the floor, and soon it sank with the twilight. The last light on the horizon was obscured by the hazy night It melted, and it seemed to change from rich to dark in just a few seconds.

Yin Xu called Wei Siyuan after he left, but Wei Siyuan hung up without listening. Yin Xu called again, and Wei Siyuan turned off the phone.

He didn't know how things became like this.

After Wei Siyuan quarreled with him yesterday afternoon and slammed the door and went out, he purposely refused to coax Wei Siyuan, but found other friends to drink. After getting drunk, he heard his friend say that Wei Siyuan would come to pick him up.

He forgot how he answered, and not long after, someone came, he could only see the dazzling lights of the bar and the blurred and scattered figures, he couldn't recognize who it was at all, but subconsciously intuited it was Wei Siyuan.

This "Wei Siyuan" seems to have turned back to the docile and well-behaved Wei Siyuan before, no matter what happens, no matter how many grievances he asks for, in the end he will return to his side as always, touching his face Whispered, "Why would I not want you."

With this promise, his nerves, which had already been anesthetized by alcohol, became even more relaxed. As long as "Wei Siyuan" didn't leave him, he would not continue to be angry with "Wei Siyuan".

He followed "Wei Siyuan" back to his home, and "Wei Siyuan" knew that he was uncomfortably drunk, hugged him and kissed him, and said to him, "Then just forget about that unpleasant decision for a while, I like you , I'm right here", so he fell asleep peacefully.

The next day when he woke up from a hangover, he felt uncomfortable all over his body, his throat was dry and astringent, his mouth felt bitter, and his head hurt so badly that he felt like vomiting. When he was half asleep and half awake, he felt someone in his arms, so he pushed him away. Pushing, the voice said hoarsely, "Siyuan, I want to drink water."

The person in his arms lay in the original position for a few minutes without any reaction, and even pillowed his arms until he almost lost consciousness. Usually, Wei Siyuan would not dare to hug him to sleep so boldly, so he was a little impatient , frowning slightly and pushed the person away, "I want to drink water."

The person who was sleeping in his arms woke up dazedly, looked at him with an innocent expression, and replied softly with a bit of complaint, "What are you doing..."

After being quiet for half a minute, Yin Xu suddenly opened his eyes, propped himself up and took a step back, almost fell off the bed, barely holding onto the edge of the bed to stabilize his balance, the whole person woke up in an instant, his heart seemed to be on a nerve Jumping manically, he looked at Xu Ziyu who was sleeping next to him and still wearing his pajamas in horror, "Why are you here?"

"Why am I not here?" Xu Ziyu asked him inexplicably, pulled up the wide pajamas that had slipped half off from his shoulders, and brushed away the long curly hair scratching his back, "You were so drunk last night, it was your friend who asked me to see you off I came back. What's your expression? I'm not the kind of girl who doesn't love herself and throws herself into boys' arms. I kindly sent you back, but you still vomited on the way and stained my clothes. I was wearing your pajamas."

Yin Xu was silent for a while, his expression was very complicated, he couldn't tell whether it was panic or doubt, his heart throbbed with uneasiness, he felt that he was having a nightmare, although he would not refuse anyone, but most of them were still on the spiritual level, He never imagined that one day someone other than Wei Siyuan would wake up beside him lying in that position.

Xu Ziyu saw that he didn't speak, and his face was still so ugly. After thinking for a while, he suddenly sneered, and his eyes were meaningful, "Otherwise, who do you think? Do you have anyone else? Or that Wei Siyuan who runs behind you all day? He The look in your eyes, and the hostility towards me, don't you really like you?"

Yin Xu's complexion suddenly became uglier, and he glared at Xu Ziyu gloomyly, which immediately made the other party feel a sense of awe, and retreated involuntarily.

He randomly pulled a wine-red fleece sweater from the closet, pointed to the direction of the bathroom, "Take off your clothes, let's go now."

Xu Ziyu pouted, took the clothes with some reluctance, picked up the short skirt on the floor, then went to the bathroom to change all the clothes, put on the socks and shoes, followed Yin Xu to the door, and saw the standing Wei Siyuan's face turned pale when he saw him outside.

The moment Yin Xu's gaze met Wei Siyuan, he felt that his heart might have stopped for a moment, and then his heartbeat became chaotic and completely out of control.

He had never been so afraid of seeing Wei Siyuan in his life, even when he kissed Xu Ziyu's lips, he had never been so guilty, feeling panicked and unable to explain.

Later, he would often think of the moment when Wei Siyuan stood outside his house that day when he changed from stunned to unbelievable, and at the end his eyes were completely dimmed and all light was drawn away like stagnant water. If there is a word that can be used to describe that look, That should be "despair".

He kept calling Wei Siyuan repeatedly throughout the afternoon, but Wei Siyuan's cell phone was always turned off, and he didn't want to wait helplessly like this any longer.

He understands Wei Siyuan's tenderness and soft heart better than anyone else, and he couldn't bear the grievance of Wei Siyuan's refusal to touch him for a second, and he instinctively didn't believe that Wei Siyuan would really be cruel to him, so he grabbed the keys and wallet and went out to the school to find him. Wei Siyuan.

After Wei Siyuan left Yin Xu's house, he went back to school directly, and returned to the classroom to take an elective class as if nothing had happened, but every word the teacher said on the podium seemed to be silenced, he couldn't hear anything, he just held the pen and read I spent a long time in a daze with a clean notebook.

He felt empty in his heart, so empty that there would be a hollow echo when the cold wind passed through his chest, so cold that his limbs were almost paralyzed and stiff so that he couldn't move.

In the big class in the afternoon, Wei Siyuan chose an extremely remote location. When Zheng Heng came to the lecture theater, he looked around for a long time before finding his figure. The voice asked, "I, I heard... Yin Xu was drunk yesterday, and a woman came to pick him up, isn't, isn't it true?"

Wei Siyuan paused for two seconds, as if the reflex arc had been extended, and then replied three words lightly, "It's true."

Zheng Heng was so shocked that he could hardly close his mouth. He looked at Wei Siyuan worriedly for a while, and advised him, "Then don't be too sad, don't be overwhelmed."

Wei Siyuan didn't have any strange emotions at all, and said flatly, "No, it's okay, I don't like Yin Xu anymore."

Zheng Heng felt something collapsed in his head, and said in his heart, "Isn't this just a kind of overwhelm?" Then he asked Wei Siyuan cautiously, not sure, "Did he do something to apologize to you? "

"No, there is nothing wrong with it. He never owed me anything. It was just me who was always pestering him. Now that my love for him is gone, I leave him. It's that simple."

It's that simple, there's no reason, if you don't like it, you just don't like it, and you won't be there any more, and you won't be caring. This person's happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy have nothing to do with him from now on, that's all.

Zheng Heng looked at Wei Siyuan's calm look, but still couldn't believe what he heard, and when he wanted to ask something, Wei Siyuan looked at him calmly, "Let's go to class." He didn't dare to say another word.

When the last class was over, the two of them walked towards the door of the classroom with others, and people in front of them looked back at Wei Siyuan curiously one after another. Wei Siyuan felt the eyes of others, raised his head blankly and looked forward, and his eyes met standing outside. Waiting for his Yin Xu, then he suddenly turned around as if he didn't see it, and started walking towards another door.

But he was still blocked by Yin Xu at the door of the classroom, "Siyuan, I'm here to look for you." As he said that, he blankly stared at Zheng Heng, who was standing next to him and wanted to watch the excitement, let him People wait to disperse quickly.

Wei Siyuan turned his face away, as if he didn't want to see Yin Xu at all, but without Wei Siyuan's gaze, it was already a torment for Yin Xu.

He stretched out his hand slightly, and called him in a low voice, "Siyuan."

Wei Siyuan took a step back subconsciously, staring cautiously at Yin Xu's hand trying to touch him, and saw that he slowly retracted his hand.

"Siyuan, I bought a lot of things you like to eat, let's go eat together."

Wei Siyuan didn't think about it, so he replied coldly, "I'm not free."

Yin Xu felt that his heart had been stabbed, it was painful and numb, but he still persevered, "You have to eat."

Wei Siyuan paused, then remembered that he still had something to return to him, so he agreed, "Then let's go, go to the dining hall."

The two found a seat in the dining hall where there were few people. Yin Xu opened the five or six take-out boxes and put them on the table one by one. They were all the dishes that Wei Siyuan bought according to his taste when eating with him.

He doesn't even know what Wei Siyuan likes to eat, he just thinks what they usually eat is what Wei Siyuan likes, and there is a small paper box next to the packing box, which contains a small piece of chestnut cake that Wei Siyuan thought was ugly at a glance .

The corners of Wei Siyuan's lips curled into a subtle arc, his smile was thin and indifferent, more ironic than a heartfelt smile.

He knew it would be like this, and it was pointless to expect anything from this person.

A sweet person can't understand the taste of black coffee on the tip of his tongue no matter what. He and Yin Xu are not suitable in the first place, and it is because he forced each other for so many years that they ended up in such an embarrassing end.

Yin Xu was used to picking out the parts of the dishes that he didn't want to eat and gave them to Wei Siyuan. Wei Siyuan stared at his chopsticks, and then took the dishes out of his bowl, "If you don't want to eat it, throw it away, don't give it to me."

Yin Xu stopped his chopsticks and looked at Wei Siyuan in astonishment. After the constant panic and discomfort in his heart passed, he whispered to Wei Siyuan, "Siyuan, what happened today was a misunderstanding. I can explain everything. .”

Wei Siyuan ate the rice with lowered eyes as if he didn't hear it, quickly finished the rice in the bowl and drank some water, then turned around without changing his expression, and dug in his schoolbag for a while, putting the key and access card of Yin Xu's house. On the table, push it in front of him, motioning to return it to him.

"Give it to that girl, don't waste money to get a new one, anyway, I won't need it in the future."

Yin Xu became anxious all of a sudden, and stared at Wei Siyuan closely, but Wei Siyuan looked at him unmoved, without any intention of wavering, "Siyuan, what are you talking about, me and her There is really nothing, why don't you believe me?"

"If you don't give it to her, then give it to someone in the future. There are many people who like you, and there will always be someone who can use it." After Wei Siyuan finished speaking, he picked up his schoolbag and stood up, "I'm full, thank you for your hospitality, I I left beforehand."

Wei Siyuan strode out from the dining hall, the cold spring wind on the road poured into his clothes, making him shiver uncontrollably, he wrapped his clothes tightly and walked towards the station.

The night covers the land quietly, and the faint street lights look bleak and lonely, like the crumbling lights in a lone boat floating on the sea, their reflections being swallowed up by the night.

Standing at the station, Wei Siyuan didn't know where he wanted to go, and unconsciously started to be in a daze again. Suddenly, someone patted him on the shoulder, "Wei Siyuan?"

He turned around and was startled, his cold face melted for a moment, he hesitated for a while, and asked a little embarrassedly, "What's your name?"

"Shen Yan."

"Oh." Wei Siyuan nodded, "Are you going to work part-time again?"

Shen Yan replied with a smile, "Well, I'm singing here again tonight, how about you, have you eaten, where are you going so late?"

"I..." Wei Siyuan fell into deep thought, and said in a little confusion, "I don't have any place to go, I'll go and listen to your singing."

"You won't cry anymore today, will you?" Shen Yan asked him half-jokingly, remembering what happened last time.

Wei Siyuan also laughed, looked down at his own thin shadow, then shook his head, "Of course not, I won't cry again in the future."

The light in the bar is still so dim, only the young man holding the guitar is illuminated by the bright light, sitting in the center of the stage, moving his fingers and popping out a few melodies with gentle and melancholy tones, as if telling the story of wanton exile and being exiled. A helpless life that is hard to find.

Shen Yan approached the upright microphone, and began to sing in a gentle and low voice.

"Let me see, your photos, why, you disappear. Most of the time, where are you, will you be tired, who do you miss..."

He looked up in Wei Siyuan's direction, smiled at him with his lips pursed, and continued singing.

"And the roughness of the world makes it difficult for me to go to you. And the delicateness of fate emerges clearly, your face..."

Wei Siyuan looked at Shen Yan in a daze again, not knowing where his thoughts had wandered, and seemed to be shackled by himself in place with nowhere to escape.

"Sometimes, I am also tired and stop thinking about it, but I refuse to relax. Even if the world stands in front of me, it says crazily, don't waste extravagance..."

"How I want to find you, hold your face gently, I will open my hands, touch your back. Please let me have you, lost time, keep your tears before you cry."

Five years ended like this, exhausted and embarrassing, and then I stopped missing, stopped extravagant hopes, and was washed away by the sea of ​​people until I gradually drifted away.

After he completely calmed down and separated from his obsessive self, Wei Siyuan began to understand that there is a fixed interval for meeting and parting between any person, and not every relationship can go from zero to infinity. Fate, which is often referred to by human beings, has a range of values.

It is precisely because everyone knows this objective fact that everyone can foresee that eternity in the oath does not exist, so they pray, "I hope people will last forever."

Companionship is still too extravagant after all, he can't afford it, and Yin Xu is also reluctant to give it, and as a result, time is wasted like this, resulting in such an embarrassing situation, so it's time to let each other go, no one needs to waste feelings anymore.

Sitting in his seat, Wei Siyuan smiled and applauded Shen Yan, and when he finished singing the last note, he thanked the audience, "It's from Xu Jiaying's "Missing Person Announcement", thank you everyone."

"How do I sing? This song was originally for a girl. I adapted it myself. I don't know if the effect is good." When Shen Yan came down, he walked to Wei Siyuan's side, and looked at Wei Siyuan who was concentrating on eating French fries. some embarrassed to ask.

"It's very touching." Wei Siyuan finished eating the French fries, licked the salt on his fingers, gave him a thumbs up, and said in a detour, "But I didn't cry."

Shen Yan watched him eating with his mouth full, and couldn't help laughing, "Can I ask for a reward, sir?"

"Haha, okay, let the waiter open a bottle of Carlsberg for you."