Chasing the Deer Diary [Rebirth]

I was looking for a thin coat this morning, but I didn't expect to find three diaries from high school.

Just looking at the yellowed cover brought back a lot of memories. I brought a copy and planned to move a stool and sit next to the hospital bed to read it.

I don't know when he will wake up, the flat memories should be more vivid than he is now.

According to the age on the ID card, I am now 25 years old, the same age as when I died on the hospital bed in my previous life.But this time, I didn't get sick, and he didn't die at the age of 22.But how long can the good luck last?

In my previous life, guilt and self-blame never let me go, and I regretted some things only after they happened.In this life, I started to make up for it when I was 15 years old, and I have come to the present step by step.

But the past is like smoke and dreams, and many things are blurred, not to mention the past life, even ten years ago, I can't remember clearly.

I have a hunch that if I recall the past, there may be unexpected discoveries.

General Hospital on June 3025, 6

……

Rain on October 3015, 7

It's cloudy and rainy outside, just like Lao Tzu's mood.

Yesterday was the first seven days of the old man, and he was almost busy with everything that should be busy, and he finally had time to take care of these things.Although I have long forgotten what the old man looked like when he was alive, the facts have proved that no matter how many times you experience it in that atmosphere, those who should be sad will still be sad.But this is not what I want to write about. I can talk to others when I am sad, and I can also find a psychiatrist, but I can’t talk to anyone about this matter. They have to treat me as a psychopath and send me to the hospital.

The next day after the old man left, I tried to tell my mother that she burst into tears and hugged me to tell me not to talk nonsense, then knelt in front of the old man's coffin and kowtowed to tell him not to take me away... What's up?My mother doesn't believe me, who else can I count on?

Thinking about it, he seemed to be breathing oxygen in the hospital just a second ago, but now he is sitting in his room lying on the desk and writing a diary.I didn't even think that I would be born again.

I have been lying on the hospital bed for three years from the time I was diagnosed with the disease to when I died.I always thought it was retribution, because if it wasn't for me, maybe the Lu family wouldn't be ruined, my sister wouldn't disappear, and my eldest nephew wouldn't die young.

I was originally a second-generation ancestor through and through, and my empty life withered before it showed its value, so there is no pity, but I am sorry to too many people.

For example, when the old man passed away in the previous life, the burden of the family was transferred to my elder brother intact. He was only 19 years old, and he was so busy that he never touched the ground every day.

It may be that my mother and my brother doted on me too much, and now I feel that I really matured much later than my peers.Otherwise, at the age of 25, I would return to the age of 15 without any sense of disobedience...

I used to live alone in the ward, and my family was too busy to visit me occasionally, so I developed the habit of keeping a diary.Now that I am burdened with the memories of my previous life, some words are even more difficult to open my mouth with others. I plan to stick to this habit.

Let me first talk about what I have been thinking these days: Will all the dead be reborn?Live in some parallel world to make up for your mistakes?

I don’t know, but I would rather believe that I am the luckiest. Instead of being confused and rejoicing, I should live a down-to-earth life, try my best to make up for my mistakes, and block those bad things from the root. (Well said, how did it work?)

October 7 heavy rain

The old man did not forget to entrust his relationship to arrange me to study in No. [-] Middle School. He didn't think so before, but now it seems that God has been giving me a way to correct it in some way.

My own score was not enough, but Dad made up for it with money, and put me on a new starting point.Sounds a bit like the RMB player in the game, but anyway once you look at things this way, it's a lot less frustrating.

The friends I used to play with were all the same breed, smoking, drinking, and hanging out, and they had learned everything in society before their hair grew.And my biggest weakness is that I am particularly susceptible to the influence of others. People around me live so relaxed and carefree, so I let go of the hesitation in my heart and eat, drink and have fun with peace of mind.

Until the year when I was ill, many people came to visit me for the sake of my brother.I just met these young people outside the circle of second-generation ancestors. Their family background may be worse than mine, but they are about the same age. Most of them either come from prestigious universities at home and abroad, or have expertise in a certain field, or have a cheerful and generous personality. Only then did I realize that it is not normal to live like this garbage.

This time, I not only want to avoid the tragedies of my family and Lu's family, but also get into a good university and find my own future.

I have already told my mother that I want to enroll in a summer class to learn high school classes in advance.I have forgotten all the knowledge in junior high school, but since the senior high school entrance examination is over, I just need to turn over the books and review it, so let's go straight to high school.

This afternoon is the first day of the cram school. I hope the rain will stop soon.

Sunny September 7

10:34

It has been raining for most of the night, and today the temperature is approaching forty degrees.