Chasing the Deer Diary [Rebirth]

I walked to the last row and sat down. I was the only one in this row.

Lu Yunxiu turned around and nodded to me, giving me a sad and apologetic look as a greeting.Well, maybe I read too much, he just glanced at me and nodded.

I didn't respond, and silently took out the stationery and started to do the questions.

This is the class I have listened to most carefully since I was in an extra-curricular class since I was a child. In this short hour and a half, even the meaning of learning in my heart has been sublimated.

Doing the questions is not so boring. When I concentrate seriously, all my energy is concentrated, and I feel extremely happy.

To his love, to his haggling.

I still don't like talking to him.

Lao Tzu loves learning, and learning makes Lao Tzu happy.

Friday, October 9

The seven-day National Day holiday starts tomorrow, but it's not very good to say whether I can be happy.

My mother took my brother abroad to discuss business, and brought Zhu Mo with her.

Uncle Lu is watching the domestic business. He is basically going to live in the company, and the nanny is also on vacation.Uncle Lu sent Lu Jingxiu to his old comrades to receive patriotic education, and Lu Yunxiu should follow him every year, but this year he is in the third year of high school, so he will stay in the city for tutoring.

Uncle Lu found my mother and asked if he could let his eldest son come to our house so that he would not be alone at home.

At that time, I was drinking coffee in the restaurant, pretending not to hear and flipping through the newspaper. Out of the corner of my eye, I felt my mother's extremely complicated glance, and then returned to the old Mrs. Zhu's mode of laughing and saying: "I was just about to say, Xiaolu is at home alone. It's also boring. Yunxiu can give him a good head start, and read more books during these few days. Since Xiaolu and Yunxiu became good friends, his grades have risen in a straight line. Moreover, Lao Feng and Zhang Ma's home is in the city. Come and cook, and someone will take care of them, let Yunxiu come quickly."

Hmph, Lu Yunxiu is blessed by our big capitalists.

After dinner, my mother talked to me. I just came out of her room.

She looked at me for a long time, and asked in surprise: "You and Lu Yunxiu quarreled? You haven't smiled since the afternoon."

I moaned and half-denied and half-accepted.

She sighed and said earnestly: "Your thoughts about Lu Yunxiu, mother is not ignorant. After your brother warned you last time, you didn't take any further actions or get angry. I'm very happy. I also thinking about it."

I listened to her in silence, and now I don't know what to say.

"When I was studying in the United States, one of my teaching assistants and a few boys I knew were gay. When I first found out, I was surprised. The biggest feeling was that I couldn't understand and couldn't imagine. I was very curious, always I couldn't help looking at them, and then the teaching assistant Jack came to chat with me. He is abc. Although he was influenced by American culture since he was a child, he talked with the elegance of the oriental people. While chatting, I felt that this matter It’s the same as some people like durian and others don’t, and it has nothing to do with me.”

She sighed again, and looked at me helplessly: "Okay, now it's a relevant matter. But I'm still puzzled, you have liked girls since elementary school, and you also talked about girlfriends behind your back in junior high school, why? Did it suddenly change in high school?"

I shook my head, this is also a question I can't figure out, sometimes I don't dare to say that I like Lu Yunxiu like a lover or that I love a man deeply.

"Then besides Lu Yunxiu, do you not like other boys?" My mother asked.

I thought about it seriously, then shook my head again: "Probably not."

No, I've been to a gay bar, and I don't get along with the vibe there.Maybe it's because my fate is too entangled, from the relationship between life and death to everything, I can't help being tempted, I can't help caring about his every move, how many people can't help but want to be together again, and feel sad if they are not together.

My mother frowned slightly and said: "Well, my son's happy life is more important. You are almost an adult, and there are some things that Mom will tell you directly. If you think I am too blunt, then go back and digest it. The world of adults is not so gentle. You and Momo, as long as you don’t do anything out of line, don’t affect Zhu’s, don’t cause trouble for your elder brother, basically you can play whatever you want. But Zhu is yours The eldest brother started it from a young age. If the two of you want to fight, your mother will definitely favor your elder brother. If you want to start a business in the future, your mother from another family will also support it. Apart from this major premise, you should be responsible for your own emotional life.

Your dad and I tried our best to give you a relatively pure and healthy growth environment, but in this circle, you have seen a lot of ghosts and monsters, so I believe you know how to choose and do things.In the past few days on the [-]th, you can try to get along with Lu Yunxiu, or confess your love directly.If the person refuses, don't stalk me for the sake of the two family friends, and I don't need to say anything else.If Lu Yunxiu accepts it, go kowtow to Uncle Lu to apologize, your Uncle Lu is definitely old-fashioned in these matters. "

I lowered my head and listened to my mother say this long paragraph, and my eye circles turned red.If because of me, the relationship between the two families is affected, and the father-son relationship of the Lu family is affected, then I am reborn in vain, and I will repeat the same mistakes.

If Lu Yunxiu has the slightest intention to refuse, I will never make it difficult for anyone.

"But this is mainly a matter between the two of you. If after a period of time, you find that you and him are not in love, and you change your mind, Mom will continue to support you. After all, whether love is spiritual, you may still ...But if you dare to abandon the Lu family kid all the time, don't go home and cry when your Uncle Lu kills you." My mother sneered.

I suddenly realized that I couldn't argue with anything. In fact, I was having an awkward fight with Lu Yunxiu right now, so why did I feel like someone had made the final decision.

depressed.

April 10

The day before yesterday and yesterday when the whole world was celebrating, Lu Yunxiu maintained the perfect routine as usual.

Go to bed early, get up early, run, drink milk, do self-study in the morning, no lunch break, self-study in the afternoon, finish dinner, watch a movie with me in silence for 10 minutes, and then go back to the room without knowing what to do.

If it's like this every day, the few days will pass quickly, and I don't see anything that will change after that.

April 10

My mother and brother came back yesterday morning, took a short rest for a few hours, and then went straight to the company.

I won't fight with my brother, I don't want to do such hard work. (Think it won’t be hard if you change your life? Laugh)

Uncle Lu also went home from the company to take a break and told Lu Yunxiu to go back today.

The last friendly relationship before high school graduation ended like this. I felt like a thorn in my throat, and Lu Yunxiu probably didn't feel very well either.After dinner last night, he knocked on my bedroom door and said he wanted to talk to me.

I said come in, and he sat on the edge of my bed, clasped his hands and looked nervous.If it wasn't for what he said later that pissed me off, I'd like to record more of his good-looking appearance sitting there.

He organized his words for a while, and then said straight to the point: "I've been avoiding you a bit recently."

I was full of cynicism and sarcasm, but I still pretended to be a gentleman dressed like a beast and asked sincerely: "Did I do something to make you unhappy?"

Lu Yunxiu shook his head slowly, "It's not you, it's me. I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but I don't know how to say it."

"Let's get straight to the point then," I said.

Lu Yunxiu took a deep breath and said, "I'm a little shaken, I think it's good to listen to my dad."

There was a bang in my ear, the anger had not yet arrived, and my heart was full of question marks.What, Lu Yunxiu gave in?That function kept practicing the piano, and asked me for help before going on stage. Lu Yunxiu, whose eyes were shining after the performance was successful, was shaken?

"Although going to the military academy was a choice imposed on me by my father, it was also my goal since I was a child. In fact, I don't hate it, nor do I want to fight against my father. During the month in the army a while ago, I simply followed the training and listened to me. Dad’s former comrades-in-arms tell stories. Those uncles are very good, and I still yearn for it in my heart. I think it’s good to go to military training and become a soldier.” He lowered his eyes and said softly.

I was dumbfounded for a while, and then I said: "Oh, your own future, you decide for yourself, I have no right to interfere, and you don't have to avoid me." My tone was so cold that I jumped.

Lu Yunxiu stood up, walked in front of me and said eagerly: "Don't say that. I understand your feelings. You have helped me so much. I shouldn't say a word and just change my mind. I don't know how to explain it to you. But this is what I really want to do.”

"Isn't that playing the piano? I don't understand, but you don't need to explain to me. I can hear that you have made up your mind, right? You just came to tell me, what do I say, do you understand? Does it make sense? Lu Yunxiu, we are almost adults, and the first thing I hope you learn when you become an adult is to communicate with others. Don’t let others think that you are not important.” I was full of anger, but chose cold violence, After speaking calmly, he turned around and wanted to leave the bedroom.He never dared to chase him into the living room to make a noise. My mother, brother and sister are all back.

I suddenly felt ridiculous, my mother planned so much for me in vain, maybe all the assumptions are over here.

"Of course you are not dispensable! We grew up together, and we spend more time together than my father and younger brother every day. You... The balance in my heart has indeed been biased towards this choice. There are a lot of things that happened recently. , I’m also confused. But Zhu Lu, I’m not saying an ultimatum, actually I haven’t told my father yet, you are the first to know.” He took my shoulders with both hands and explained anxiously.

I suddenly felt that I had lost my composure, and I was indeed very angry. When he finished speaking, I was still very angry, and the following words were still half-yelled out, but I found the problem when I calmed down and recorded.

In fact, I'm not angry that Lu Yunxiu didn't discuss it with me, and he doesn't need to discuss it with me, I'm just worried that I don't know how to give him a thorough discussion.

I also said that he can't communicate, and I'm not much better. If we calm down and think about it now, there may be a good way.

At that time, I raised my hand to avoid him and put it on my shoulder, and said furiously: "You will die, you will die on the battlefield!"