hope for redemption

While hugging Jiang Xi, Lin Wang planted thin kisses on his face, neck, and shoulders, trying to comfort the trembling person in his arms through these kisses.

But it didn't work at all.

Jiang Xi's breathing was rapid and chaotic, and sprayed on Lin Wang's neck, and he bent over to relieve the pain through this posture. Under the thin skin, there were prominent spines.

It was distressing to see.

"I'll turn on the light and see if there is any bleeding." Lin Wang lovingly kissed the corner of Jiang Xi's mouth.

Reaching out to turn on the floor lamp by the bed, Jiang Xi's body covered with hickey marks was reflected in Lin Wang's eyes.

But now Lin Wang has no passion|desire, and his heart is full of worry and annoyance.

Lin Wang just wanted to stretch his hand down, but Jiang Xi pushed him violently, and he fell on the bed.

Jiang Xi's face was pale, and his palm-sized face was covered with tears.

It looked like a wounded fawn.

He sobbed and stood up from Lin Wang's arms, pulled off the cashmere cotton pajamas from the hanger next to him and put them on, without saying a word from the beginning to the end.

It wasn't that Jiang Xi didn't want to talk, but that he was in so much pain that he couldn't speak now. If he could talk, he would have greeted all eighteen generations of Lin Wang's ancestors.

He didn't understand why he was in such pain, obviously in the movie he watched before, the British man enjoyed it so much, he asked for it again and again.

Are they all acting?

Jiang Xi scolded those who acted in the movie again in his heart.

In fact, the heart-piercing pain when Lin Wang hugged her just now has subsided by half, so Jiang Xi thought that she was almost healed, but when she put on her pants, as her thighs lifted and fell, The tearing pain swept over again, and the eyes turned black.

Jiang Xi hurriedly sat down on the carpet beside him, breaking out in cold sweat.

"The ground...the ground is cold," Lin Wang walked over slowly and picked Jiang Xi up and put him on the bed, resting his chin on the top of Jiang Xi's head, and kept rubbing his back with his hands: "I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry, I'm a bastard, you can beat me and scold me if you want. Don't..."

don't treat me coldly...

In fact, Lin Wang himself has no experience. After he confirmed his sexual orientation, he went to watch a few movies on the Internet, browsed around the post bar, and learned a little bit about relevant physiological knowledge.

He still clearly remembers the first post he read was called "How painful is it to do 0 for the first time", which is full of feelings shared by netizens, such as heart-piercing pain, child-like pain, hot Pain, anal fissure-like pain during constipation, etc.

At that time, Lin Wang was still a little ignorant, but now looking at Jiang Xi's appearance, although he has never been done like that, he can clearly feel how painful it is, which can make a person face a knife wound. The person who didn't change his face was convulsed in pain and sweated coldly.

"Get out." Jiang Xi endured the pain and said.

He is very calm and rational now, that's how he is, when his anger reaches the extreme, he is absolutely calm and rational.

Lin Wang really annoyed Jiang Xi this time.

"Xixi, you now..."

"I said, get out."

Jiang Xi closed her eyes fiercely, trying to forget everything that happened just now from her mind, whether it was joy or pain.

But Lin Wang's existence reminded him all the things just now.

Now he didn't want to smell Lin Wang, he didn't want to hear Lin Wang's voice, he didn't want to see Lin Wang.

In short, I don't want to get involved in anything related to Lin Wang.

"Xixi, I know you don't want to see me now," Lin Wang hugged him a little tighter, and tried to slow down his tone: "But if I leave now, you're a fucking bastard, you... In this case, I can't leave you alone, I... I'll leave after I take care of you, okay?"

"What's the situation? The situation where you ripped off my clothes and raped me?" Jiang Xi sarcastically said, "I'm not so fucking weak, because a dog raped me and killed me."

Lin Wang knew that Jiang Xi was in a fit of anger, and he had to smooth out his anger first, otherwise he would really be chasing his wife and crematorium in the future.

"Yes, yes, yes, you are not that fragile." Lin Wang patted Jiang Xi on the back, picked him up and walked to the bathroom: "Take a bath to relieve... the pain."

Jiang Xi is very aware of his current situation. If he walks forcibly, the situation will only get worse in the future. He has to go to school tomorrow, so it is the best choice to allow Lin Wang here.

Besides, it was his fault in the first place, and these are what he should do.

And what Lin Wang said was also true. In the current situation, if he left, he would be a real jerk.

"I... Shall I help you take it off?" Lin Wang tried the water temperature in the bathtub, and it was just right.

"go out."

"Okay." Lin Wang rubbed his nose a little embarrassedly, "Take your time."

Jiang Xi didn't even give him a look, and locked the bathroom door after he left, and then slowly took off her pajamas.

Wiping the fog off the mirror, he was about to see if his eyes were swollen from crying, but when he saw the scene in the mirror, he froze in place.

His neck, chest, and even his waist were covered with hickeys.

Jiang Xi touched them with his hands in disbelief, wanting to find out if they were true or not.

As soon as the fingertips touched the bulge, the slight itchiness mixed with pain was transmitted to the nerve endings, which showed that these hickeys were real, and these hickeys really existed on his body.

"Lin Wang!" Jiang Xi leaned on the sink with both hands, roaring in a low voice, as if he wanted to cut Lin Wang alive.

At this time, Lin Wang, who had just walked to the intersection, sneezed, tightened the padded jacket he was wearing, and ran quickly towards the drugstore.

Jiang Xi, who had taken a hot bath, felt much better, except for the constant swelling | pain in the rear which was full of weird sensations.

In fact, Jiang Xi wanted to take a look when he was taking a shower just now. After all, the feeling of tearing just now was so real. At that moment, he really thought that his back was split.

However, my body was not flexible enough, no matter how I turned my head to look, I couldn't see it, so I could only gently reach out and touch it, and after confirming that there was no bleeding, I walked out of the bathroom with small steps.

Even with such small steps, the back still hurts when pulled. Jiang Xi wished to install a sliding elevator at home, so that he could go to bed without moving.

"Done?" Lin Wang straightened up and walked towards Jiang Xi: "Do you feel better?"

Jiang Xi didn't bother to talk to him, so he just turned around and left.

"Don't move." Lin Wang didn't say anything, and directly carried Jiang Xiheng to the master bedroom.

Lin Wang had already turned on the heater in the master bedroom while Jiang Xi was taking a bath, and tidied up the room as well, so that there was no trace of the adultery just now.

"Where's the hair dryer?" Lin Wang looked around and asked.

Jiang Xi pointed to the second basket under the clothes rack, indicating that the hair dryer was there.

Lin Wang took out the hair dryer, plugged it in, and handed it to Jiang Xi.He went out and poured Jiang Xi a glass of warm water, acting like a master.

"This..." Lin Wang put the water glass on the pile of books beside the bed, and took out an ointment from his pocket: "You apply it in the morning and evening, don't eat spicy food these days, eat something light."

"Well," Jiang Xi brushed the broken hair on his forehead, raised his head and looked at Lin Wang: "Have you finished speaking? Let's go when you are finished."

Jiang Xi's attitude made Lin Wang helpless, and he sighed slightly: "I'll wait until you fall asleep before leaving."

Hearing what Lin Wang said, Jiang Xi immediately turned off the floor lamp beside the bed without saying a word, wrapped up the quilt and slept in the innermost part of the bed, away from Lin Wang.

How could Jiang Xi be able to sleep if Lin Wang was still here, he might not know what he would do after he fell asleep.

Jiang Xi was worried and did not dare to sleep.

The two were deadlocked like this, exhausted.

One does not sleep, one does not leave.

I don't know how long it took, but finally Lin Wang compromised first, sighed, climbed onto Jiang Xi's bed lightly, and hugged him in his arms.

Jiang Xi stayed still on purpose, pretending to be asleep, and wanted to see what Lin Wang was going to do next.

If he really dared to do something to himself while he was asleep...

Then I really saw the wrong person and moved the wrong heart.

"Xixi, I was wrong about today's matter. I would like to solemnly say sorry to little Jiang Xi." Lin Wang put his chin on Jiang Xi's fluffy head and said softly: "But, Xixi , I hope you understand that sex and love are inseparable. I don't understand why you hate things like lust|desire and sex so much. I know it may have something to do with your past. It doesn't matter if you don't want to talk about it, and neither do I. Will ask. But love must have sex, this kind of sex is the seasoning of love, it is not a pure desire to vent. Because I love you, so I want to possess you inside and out, when it reaches the top, It resonates with the soul. It's based on mutual affection and mutual emotions. So I did something wrong today, I did that to you without your consent, I hope you can forgive me .”

"I know we haven't known each other for a long time, and I know that I have used some means to keep getting close to you. I also understand what you are worried about. You don't trust me, or you can put it this way, you don't trust anyone. I don't know What have you been through that makes you afraid to trust other people anymore, but what I want to say is that you can trust me. The way I present is the way I am, without any pretense. I can do my things Tell you slowly, you can also tell me your things slowly, we can get to know each other slowly, and we don’t need to make any pretense in front of each other, just be the most original self. So, try again, Chihi, try again for me."

Jiang Xi didn't fall asleep, Lin Wang's every word floated from the top of his head into his ears, into his mind, and engraved in his heart.

It turned out that Lin Wang had already seen through himself.

At this time, Jiang Xi didn't have the sense of shame as if he was stripped naked, but a sense of belonging, like a person who has traveled long distances in the dark to the light, and finally found harmony on the boundless road. People who walk with themselves.

When Lin Wang finished speaking, Jiang Xi's rationality and calmness instantly collapsed, and his heart was suddenly in a mess.

What Lin Wang said was equivalent to digging open his own heart and holding it in front of Jiang Xi without reservation.

But Jiang Xi was so upset that he didn't know how to respond.

"It's okay." Lin Wang felt the flustered emotions of the person in his arms, tightened his arms slightly, and hugged Jiang Xi even harder: "I'll give you time to think and think carefully, and I'm going to help Uncle Yun during this time If you have something to do, you probably won’t come back, if you have something to do, you can find Zhuang Zhuang and Da Fei, they really regard you as a friend.”

The implication is that they are also your friends, even if they are estranged from Lin Wang, they are still my friends.

"So," Lin Wang paused, bowed his head and kissed Jiang Xi's hair: "Good night, my little Jiang Xixi."

"Jiang Xi!"

Jiang Xi was thinking about what happened last night, suddenly his left shoulder was slapped suddenly, and he subconsciously looked to the left in horror, but found no one.

"Hey! It's over here!" Zhuang Zhuang's happy laughter came from the right as his plan succeeded.

"You are really..." Jiang Xi couldn't laugh or cry and looked at Zhuang Zhuang, who was smiling like a fool.

"Are you scared?"

"...Yes" Jiang Xi gave Zhuang Zhuang a lot of face.

"Let me just say, hey, I'll try Da Fei later," Zhuang Zhuang rubbed his hands excitedly.

Jiang Xi really wanted to say that Da Fei would definitely not be frightened, but after thinking about it, the disappointed expression on Zhuang Zhuang's face was worth looking forward to, so he held back.

"Here, brother wants me to bring you something." Zhuang Zhuang handed the bag in his hand to Jiang Xi.

"What?" Jiang Xi took the bag in surprise and opened it impatiently.

Inside was a black cotton cushion and a breakfast.

Breakfast is porridge, pickles and tea eggs.

"He asked you to bring it for me?" Jiang Xi asked.

"Well," Zhuang Zhuang nodded, then looked at Jiang Xi with a hesitant look, gritted his teeth, as if he had finally made up his mind: "Jiang Xi...my brother really likes him Yours, I've been with him for so long, and it's the first time I've seen him care so much about someone, you..."

"I know," Jiang Xi lowered his eyelids, and interrupted what Zhuang Zhuang wanted to say next: "I know, but you can't be reckless when it comes to feelings, especially..."

Especially for me.

"Oh, that's right," Zhuang Zhuang shook his head in a bit of boredom: "Then think about it, think about it."

In fact, after a night's rest, Jiang Xi's back is not so painful anymore, as long as he doesn't walk or run a lot, he basically won't feel any pain.

Yesterday, in the final analysis, Lin Wang only stuffed a small part of the front end, and did not hurt the root, so he recovered quickly.

But Lin Wang's act of asking Zhuang Zhuang to bring mats and breakfast here really moved Jiang Xi.

Now Jiang Xi finally understands why so many girls care about details, because in a relationship, every detail your lover does for you will really give you a sense of security and a sense of being cared for.

In fact, through this period of getting along, I can feel that Lin Wang is a very responsible and safe person, and what he said last night made Jiang Xi start to waver.

Can I really try again for him and believe it again?

"How long have you been with me, huh? Are you ready to take root here?" Uncle Yun threw a can of beer at Lin Wang.

Lin Wang threw the book to the side, and quickly caught the beer thrown by Uncle Yun. The next second, a biting chill spread from the palm of his hand to his whole body, making Lin Wang shiver.

"Uncle! Who the hell still drinks cold beer in such a cold day!" Lin Wang put the beer in his hand to his feet, sat up straight and stretched forward, putting his hand a little closer to the fire in front of him. .

"You!" Uncle Yun moved a chair and sat next to Lin Wang, picked up the tongs and poked the fire to make the fire burn hotter: "Did something happen to you this time? Let me stay here so long."

"Hey, Uncle, I didn't come before, but you said I was not filial, that I didn't miss you. I'm here. I've only been here for a few days, and you think I'm annoying and want to drive me away?" Lin Wang explain.

"How many days have you been here?! You've been here for at least two weeks." Uncle Yun pointed at Lin Wang with a smoking tongs: "You don't go to school, you don't go back, every day Sitting here like an old man in my casino, I didn’t know that I thought my father crawled out of the soil, and I’ll take care of him when I’m here!”

"It's not that exaggerated..." Lin Wang lay on the recliner and counted the days, hey, he really has been here in the casino for almost two weeks.

Originally, there was another valid reason, the casino had to be settled after moving.

Uncle Yun and Peng Ling are rough people, they can't do such fine work.

How could Uncle Xun settle so many bills by himself? No, he called Lin Wang to help move the casino and settle the bills together.

The casino didn't move too far, except that there are rows of freight warehouses on the way to Linshui from Xipaigou. Uncle Xun rented a two-story one and spent a few days renovating it before moving here.

It is also close to the textile factory and Xipaigou, the source of customers has not been lost, and the business is as good as before.

Coupled with the absence of Shen Cheng's interruption, it can be described as a harmonious atmosphere.

The casino has been moved and the bills have been settled, so I really don't have any legitimate reason to stay here.

However, if I go back, I will definitely meet Jiang Xi. I have said that I need to give people time to think about it carefully. After so many days, Jiang Xi has not contacted me. Didn’t I make it clear that I didn’t think about it, okay? It's better not to go back.

"Tell the truth to Uncle, did something happen to you? Did Shen Cheng trouble you? Or is your head hurting again?" Uncle Yun asked worriedly.

"Not at all." Lin Wang smiled at Uncle Yun: "I just don't want to move, maybe it's because winter is coming."

"Yo! What kind of species are you? You're still hibernating!" Uncle Yun looked Lin Wang up and down: "Don't tell me, I only thought you looked like an elderly man, but now I look at you like a bastard preparing to hibernate .”

"Fuck you!" Lin Wang picked up the cold beer at his feet and threw it back at Uncle Yun: "Hurry up, don't disturb my reading."

"You... the kind of book you read again?" Uncle Yun's tone was tentative.

"Well," Lin Wang took the book down from the table beside him: "Elder Ren Yu sent me the book, so I feel sorry for him if I don't look through it."

"That's right, he is quite old and still sends you such a heavy book every month," Uncle Yun said, "You...doesn't your head hurt when you look at it?"

"It doesn't hurt, just take a look." Lin Wang comforted, he knew what Uncle Yun was worried about.

"Hey, that's fine, you...just take it as a relief," Uncle Yun took out a rice cake from a plastic bucket on the side and put it on the side of the fire: "This New Year's Day is coming soon."

"Well," Lin Wang thought about the day, "It will take another four or five days."

"Whose turn is it this year?" Uncle Yun asked.

They get together for a meal every New Year's Day.

Old Zhang's house, Lin Wang's house, and Uncle Yun's house took turns.

"I'm here." Lin Wang said, "Grandma started preparations a week ago."

"That's a good relationship. We can have a good meal this year." Uncle Yun said happily.

"What? The food at Lao Zhang's place last year was not good?" Lin Wang asked with raised eyebrows.

"Our mother's cooking is the best. It doesn't feel like eating other people's cooking." Uncle Yun clicked his tongue, and then asked, "Who cooks in Lao Zhang's family?"

"I don't know, maybe Teacher Cheng did it." Lin Wang thought for a while: "Why did you suddenly ask this?"

Uncle Yun slapped his thigh: "Hey! I'm just curious. Didn't he return the takeaway he ordered a few years ago? Why did he make it himself last year?"

"Oh~" Lin Wang prolonged the tone on purpose: "You have lost your alliance in love, and your heart is not balanced."

Uncle Yun, Lao Zhang and the others don’t know how to cook. They always order takeaway for dinner every year. Once they heat it in their own pot, they round it up and cook it by themselves.

Now Lao Zhang and the others are all doing it by themselves, if Uncle Yun orders takeaway again next year...

The mother-in-law must have nagged him to death.

"Hey! You kid!" Uncle Yun was caught by Lin Wang, and pointed at him angrily, but then his momentum weakened again: "I guess I won't be able to order takeaway next year..."

"It's such a simple matter to find a wife who can cook." Lin Wang shook the ashes that fell on the book.

"It's not as simple as you said." Uncle Yun shook his head.

"Uncle..." Lin Wang licked his lips, "You won't...still wait for my mother..."

Uncle Yun liked Lin Wang's mother since he was young, and he didn't stop liking her until she got married. He dated a few times during this period, but they all broke up in the end.

Later, Lin Wang's mother had an accident, divorced, and followed Lin Wang back to Lin County to recuperate. Only then did Uncle Yun realize that he loved Lin Wang's mother from the beginning to the end. But never diminished.

After so many years, Lin Wang, Lao Zhang, and mother-in-law tried to persuade him, but to no avail, and finally let him go.

Anyway, when he gets old, he doesn't have to worry about no one to take care of him.

"Don't worry about it, it's still useless after you have managed it for so many years." Uncle Yun waved his hand indifferently, picked up the rice cake that was already baked by the fire, patted the ash on it with his hand, and took a big bite.

Then, while eating the rice cakes that were crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, he stood up and said, "You can continue to hibernate. I'll go ahead and have a look."

Seeing Uncle Yun's recalcitrant appearance, Lin Wang also gave up trying to persuade him, and went back to reading in the reclining chair.

Looking at it, my thoughts drifted away.

It's okay if he doesn't want to, but when he thinks of Jiang Xi, Lin Wang has an urge to go to him.

I want to tell him, I don't care if you fucking think about it or not, you are my fucking man.

Well, that's right, you are my mother's man.

but...

But am I your man?

The author has something to say:

It’s really annoying recently, I’m fucking like this again, it’s annoying to do anything,,,, I don’t know what to do,,,, I feel like I can’t save myself,,,,, Sometimes it’s really I really want to give up,,,