[comprehensive] accumulated gold and bone

Naze opened his door, looking distraught.

He put the book back on the bookcase and asked casually, "Where did you go during the second half of the banquet?"

"You have no concept of the time you leave me, and the time with me is also dispensable."

Hearing that Nase didn't need to reply, Fuzuo sat on the piano bench, took down the sheet music and put it away, and Nase lingered by the door.

"I've always been reflecting, but only a few years ago I realized that I'm not a kind person. I didn't treat Qiuyue as a human being no matter what countermeasures I took." He stopped, "My ex-wife was right, but I wasn't like that before."

Then Naze looked at him, Fukuo leaned on the piano cover, his face resting on his arms, and looked back at him.

"If, I propose to you."

Fucho smiled and turned his face to the other side, facing the funny patterned curtains.

Naze misunderstood himself and Fufu. Nine years ago, he did the same thing as nine years later. The only difference is that Fufu is free. They can live in harmony like this because they don't have any contractual relationship.

He would marry, divorce, and marry again until he couldn't do it any more, and Fukuo couldn't break the cycle, and he meant nothing to Naze.

"You will be relieved." He told Nase surprisingly gently, "You may feel that something is missing, the status quo can no longer be better, but there is something hanging in your life, you can't accept the current situation For myself, I am eager to pursue, grab everything I can grab and fill in that hole, it doesn’t have to be like this.”

Generally speaking, there are two levels of holes, one is giving too little and wanting too much, and the other is giving too little and having too much.

As for giving too much and getting nothing, that is a fool.

"It's not that you're going to get everything you want, you're going to accept it, give up and find out there's nothing to go after."

Just as he himself would specialize the role and significance of the 30 tons of gold in the pendant to him, after everything is disillusioned, it is just a pile of gnawing bread.

"What if you can't let go?"

"You will forgive everything when you die."

"So, why do you say that suicide is giving up life?" Naze didn't seem to have a whim, but thought about the point of view for a long time, "From birth to death, suicide is an active behavior, isn't it mastering life? "

Countless people who are about to lose their lives beg to live, while those who are alive want to die.Fuchou thought of the terminally ill little girl, forgot what she looked like, and only remembered that she wanted to live very much.

"The idea that suicide is the mastery of life is not valid from the point of view. The concept of 'mastery' is unique to the active state of life. You can't master life while losing life. Mastery is contrary to death." Fuchao decided to discuss with him Clearly, "Again, contextually, is it a compliment to say that a suicidal person uses death to take control of life? Is suicide a feat worthy of respect? Some yes, many more simply use suicide to escape reality and not an ideal life."

"However, we are just squandering the time of existence, eating, excreting, day after day, step by step towards death, the activities we engage in, the things we create, all disappear after death, meaningless, human beings are just colonies, maybe existence is just To wait for that second of life, the second before death, the sky with clouds is the sky, and the life of death is the real life.”

"The two most beautiful things God has given to man are life and freedom." Fufu shook his head, "People have no right to dispose of their own lives. Suicide and murder are both wrong."

"I don't like theology, I don't believe in God."

"Well, you admire philosophy and logic."

Don't forget, Fuchou once took the bar exam and specialized in flirting with others.

"The sky is the sky no matter what. There are clouds in the sky. Clouds are not the matrix."

Fuchao understands that he means to use the sky with clouds to refer to the integrity of life, but he disagrees.

"Philosophy studies death. Its purpose is not to persuade people to end their lives. After all, death will come sooner or later. No one knows what lies behind death. Philosophers want people to try their best to understand it while they are alive, and to relieve their false fears. The end point of all these efforts is to live earnestly and without regrets before facing the inevitable death, and use the limited time correctly."

Fuchao went to the bedside and opened the curtains to reveal the clear night sky with the clouds cleared outside.

"Using death to escape is very useful, but it is contemptible. This "person" is not the vast number of others, but you who still have life."

"Shortly before you entered the door, I changed Qiuyue's medicine." Naze said.

Fuzuo glanced at Nase, then picked up the thin backpack from behind the bed.

The melancholy and vulnerable eyes were unmoved by the matter, but contained other degrees of dangerous confusion.

"You want to leave?"

"No one here can cure my disease. Even though I can't afford to die, I still have the instinct to survive."

Hearing that Fuchou had been packing his luggage non-stop since he made the attack, Naze suddenly understood that Fuchou stayed here just to wait for Qiuyue to die.

"But," Naze took a step sideways and stood in the middle of the door, "Mizuki saw me change his medicine. Then I just walked away without saying anything or doing anything."

Fufu's hand that pulled the zipper of the backpack paused, and then continued.

"Why can't you stay?"

"Just like you choose marriage, you can't be unstable, and I can't be wandering."

When Naze saw Fufu, Fufu's physical condition did not match the passing time. He had a premonition that Fufu would leave at any time, disappear without a trace, maybe come back in the next nine years, maybe never see each other, they Will step into different rivers at different times and spaces.

No one can stop Fufu from going on the road again.Naze didn't understand how he lived with such fighting spirit?Unlike myself, I desperately hope that things could have been different, trying to make up for it but lacking the courage to execute it.

"Not long before we met for the first time, I just took charge of the Naze family." Thinking of the meeting from parting, Nase fell into memories, "My sister passed away, and I took over when the situation was at its worst. The incident happened suddenly, and I was exposed to too many social secrets In front of you, shouldering the fate of the family, there is no way to relieve the pressure, and you did a lot of ridiculous things... Then you appeared."

Naze continued, Fusho straightened the crooked pillow at the head of the bed, smoothed the folds of the sheets, and smoothed out the traces of life, then withdrew his hand without missing the soft touch, and listened casually.

"We were in the same state at that time. I wanted to give up in the face of a hopeless road ahead. Then I saw you endured, negotiated, lobbied, set up a situation to dig out the truth, used hue, won by any means, manipulated transactions unscrupulously and broke the rules, desire Intense and undisguised. There is endless power hidden in the body. And your irresistible strength, sharpness and even lust come from despair and depravity."

"You are too famous." Apart from his good skin, his advantage is that he can handle it clearly. "Nine out of ten financial fraudsters are ordinary people like me."

"I realized early on that you are different from me. You like women both physically and mentally. Then, in order to refuse stability, you rejected all women. In order to embrace money and power, you turned to embrace men... What a disorder. Those who like women sleep with men, and like men marry a woman."

To his venting monologue, Fu Zou had nothing to say, he just laughed it off.

Mizuki thinks that sex is love and beauty, and for Kako, sex is desire and evil, and Fu Wei regards sex as a neutral medium.And sex may be a solution to loneliness for Naze.

"I like that you speak badly and have a tragic nature in the vulgarity." Naze said, "I know you don't feel good with men, so I like to do it with you."

"abnormal."

"I see my pain from your pain, and you have become the outlet of my pain, and you have become a great sustenance of my emotions."

Although he made jokes, he could hear Nase's unprecedented true feelings, but he didn't buy it.

"what do you want to say in the end."

"I think I love you a little bit."

The word love is still a little crisp in Meiyue's mouth, but it seems particularly boring when he utters it.

And for their relationship, once the word love is exported, there will be nothing left.

Fuchao put down his backpack and said with a smile, "I think I'd better wait for Qiuyue to die before leaving. I'm not reconciled if he doesn't die."

In this mansion signed by Naze, Naze occupies a narrow corner of the room, her face is hidden in the dark, her green pupils are shining, and the corners of her mouth are slightly raised, but she looks lost.

There was a knock on the door, and Naze opened it, revealing the servant's bewildered face.

Qiuyue died.

In the future, he could not be rescued in time, but died of pulmonary circulatory failure. It had been three or four hours since Nase changed the dressing after contacting, which was consistent with the symptoms of poisoning.

Nase didn't speak for half a minute.

"Where's Mizuki?"

"Miss kept crying and didn't make a fuss."

He leaned his back against the door, silent in anguish.

Fuchou knew that he was not only sad for handing him the knife to kill, but also lamented the change of Meiyue.

"Besides Mei Yue, there are others who saw you changing your dressing."

Hearing this, Naze straightened up, frowning: "You mean Qiuyue herself..."

In Qiuyue's state, no one could bear to live like that.

However, Meiyue has sufficient motivation and desire to decide to change, whether it is for her own selfishness, or to liberate Qiuyue, or to liberate herself in the name of liberating Qiuyue.

Fucho picked up his backpack and walked out, stopping beside Naze for a short time.Naze felt that he was like what he had done, and put his hand on the back of his hand comfortingly, and at the same time, a faint smell of medicine wafted from Fushou's body.

Fu Chou said that seeing him changing dressings was not just for Mei Yue.Maybe it's not just Qiuyue.

He took off his black scarf with brown and red stripes, which was a birthday present from Meiyue, and stretched it across Fucho's neck: "Autumn nights are cool."

As he spoke, he went around twice tightly and tucked it in.

He was suddenly relieved that it was meaningless to pursue who killed Qiuyue, and there was no conclusion.

A person who should have died a long time ago finally returned to the ending he deserved, and everyone was relieved.

Naze closed the door, walked to the bookshelf and picked up a book, the cold wind came in through the crack of the window, his face and neck were cold, his heartbeat accelerated, so he walked quickly to the window, and he could still see the figure in the distance. I thought I had hesitated for at least ten minutes just now, but it turned out that it was less than five minutes.

The door is tied with the scarf he sent out.

The shadow that takes nothing away and leaves nothing behind walks away, walks under the high hanging night sky and time, shrinks into a shaking point, and finally disappears.

The author has something to say:

Compared with what is about to face and what has already passed, compared with what is buried deep in its heart, they are all microscopic foam. - Lermontov "A Lonely Ship"