Woke up and I became Da Jae's bandage

I had a dream.

I haven't had a dream since being a bandage, bandages are dreamless.But that scene is so real that it seems to be within reach, so I have to call it a "dream".

It was Mr. Mori Ogai's room. The windows on one side were wide open, and the night wind swept in from the outside, bringing in a refreshing fragrance of flowers.At this moment, the person sitting on the soft sofa chair was not Mr. Mori, but Osamu Dazai.

He was wearing a black coat and looked a little thin.His left eye was bandaged, and there was a book on his lap, most of the pages of which were blank.

The appearance of him sitting alone in the room is lonely and sad. I really want to appear in front of him and make him smile, but I can't touch him, and he can't hear my voice.I can only "observe" him in this way.

He raised his hand and picked up a pen. The tip of the pen stopped on the blank part of the page, and a drop of ink spread on the page, like black tears.He then wrote along the edge of the ink, a little far away, I couldn't see the specific content of what he wrote, only vaguely saw the three characters "Suzuki Che".

Dazai, are you writing my name?

Then, he did something I didn't expect - he tore out the page.The torn book pages seemed to be a source of light in the unlit room, and if I read correctly, it was emitting a soft white light.Immediately afterwards, he took out a gem from his pocket, red and crystal clear.

That is "feather".

He held the "feather" and looked at the moonlight for a while, and the light gathered in his eyes.

He raised his gun.

I was surprised - the direction the gun was pointing at was "Yu".

"boom!"

I woke up.The body is still shaking.

I saw the "feather" being shattered, scattered on the page into a pile of fragments, and finally melted into the page and disappeared.

"Ache, what's the matter?" It was Osamu Dazai's voice.Beside me is the Osamu Dazai I am familiar with.

We were on the plane to Hokkaido, and there was a strong turbulence just now, the plane bumped a bit, and that's when I fell into a coma.

"It's okay, I seem to have a dream." I replied in a low voice.

Osamu Dazai opened his eyes slightly: "Aren't you not sleeping? Why are you dreaming?"

"I don't know too well." I didn't know how to answer Dazai Osamu's question, so I just passed by, and I didn't elaborate on the specific content of his question.Every time I see the gloomy "Osamu Dazai", I always think of the scene where he jumped from a tall building, which makes me extremely frightened.

Osamu Dazai saw that I didn't want to say anything, so he didn't ask any more questions. He glanced at the clouds outside the window and said softly, "It's about to land in three to ten minutes."

The wings of the plane cut across the clouds like sharp knives cutting through a cream cake.Ashamed to say, this is my first time on a plane.I have grown up so much, I have never left Hokkaido, even the capital Sapporo is rarely visited.

Rustic redneck, no?

When the plane landed at Chitose Airport in Sapporo, Osamu Dazai took a taxi with his handbag—in fact, he didn’t bring much. Except for clothes, there was a large bottle of shower gel for me in the bag.

My home is in Asahikawa City in central Hokkaido, about an hour away from Sapporo.

I was very silent along the way, and I was uneasy, with anticipation on the one hand and fear on the other.

I look forward to seeing my family again and dread facing them.

Should they remember me?I don't want them to grieve too much for me.

Should they forget me?This is really a difficult question to answer. It would be hypocritical to say that you want them to forget.I had no choice but to hope to occupy a little corner of their hearts and let them put me there, neither affecting their lives nor being completely abandoned.

Osamu Dazai plugged in his earphones and listened to the music. I watched the scenery on the side of the road gradually change from unfamiliar to familiar, and then to reproduce the appearance in my memory.

Asahikawa City, here we come.

Osamu Dazai undid me so I can move freely now.Breathing the air of Asahikawa, stroking the land of Asahikawa, I truly feel the place where I have lived.

"Ache, where do you want to go first?" Osamu Dazai asked.

I looked around.

"According to the nearest route, it is probably the school, the store, and then the home."

"Then, please lead the way." Osamu Dazai smiled.

I climbed onto his arm, and in order not to be noticed by passers-by, I secretly exposed one end and swung it from side to side to show him the way.It's very close to my school, about 15 minutes away. It's four o'clock in the afternoon, and it will soon be time for school and club activities.

The cherry blossoms at the school gate were in full bloom, Dazai Osamu leaned against the cherry blossom tree, pink petals falling on the corners of his eyes and brows.If this is a painting, he must be the most eye-catching person in the painting.

The school bell rang, and the students walked out of the school one by one.I quietly pointed to the room on the right side of the fourth floor of the school with Osamu Dazai.

"Did you see, Osamu Dazai, that's my classroom." I happily introduced to him, "I'm a sophomore in high school, and I'm sitting by the window, hehe, because I can sneak away in class this way. I still have one more day I don’t know if the study committee will accept the unfinished math papers, and I haven’t written the last big question yet.”

Osamu Dazai listened quietly, and suddenly smiled: "Ache is really a good boy who loves to study."

I proudly responded: "Of course, my grades are very good!"

Well, my grades are very good, but I just talk a lot, I can't help it, I'm a bit nagging.

"Hey, let's go, let's grab the latest record, if we get there late, there will be a long queue!"

I caught the sound and saw a figure in school uniform flash past me.

"Ah, Osamu Dazai, look at that man, he is my best friend." I was very happy, "We have been in the same school since elementary school, and we are close enough to wear a pair of pants, hahaha."

Osamu Dazai said nothing.

I didn't talk any more.After all, my friend, there is no trace of sadness on his face.

That's right, I've been dead for almost three months, do you expect people to cry and mourn for me forever?People also have their own lives.

"Ache." Dazai Osamu reached out to pick up a cherry blossom petal, and gently brushed it to the ground, "Let's go to the next place."

Well, it's time to go, there is nothing here that makes me nostalgic.

We were walking on the road in Asahikawa, and the quiet fragrance of flowers and plants came to our face, and there were row upon row of commercial buildings on both sides of the road.

"Ah, that's the store in front!" I pointed to him excitedly, "The store manager and I are old acquaintances, I often buy red bean egg tarts from his house, let me tell you, his egg tarts taste the most authentic .”

As I was rambling on, Osamu Dazai had already stopped in front of that store, and pointed to the red bean egg tarts in the display through the window: "Boss, have one."

A red bean egg tart wrapped in a small paper bag was placed in Osamu Dazai's hands. The store manager smiled and said farewell in a familiar tone: "Welcome to come again next time!"

Osamu Dazai took a bite of the egg tart, and the rich aroma of red beans wafted out.

I want to eat it……

"Well, it's really delicious." With food stuffed in his mouth, he couldn't speak clearly.

"That's right, you have to taste carefully." I carefully guided, "The cooking temperature of the eggs is also the best, and the amount of red beans is neither too much nor too little, and the combination of the two is perfect."

Osamu Dazai finished his red bean egg tart in two or three bites. I looked at the sky with black clouds moving from the left. It was about five o'clock in the afternoon.

"It might rain soon." Osamu Dazai rolled up the paper bag and threw it into the trash can, "Let's go to your house, Ache."

What Osamu Dazai said was really good. When we walked halfway, it started to rain lightly.Osamu Dazai ran all the way in the direction I said, passed through three alleys, and finally arrived at my door.

"Suzuki".

The number plate pasted on the door is a bit old, and it is still stained with rain, making it look a little blurry.

The windows on the first floor were open, and the smell of rice wafted out. My mother was probably cooking.The light in the living room is on, and the light from the TV is reflected on the glass. Dad should be watching TV.

The years are quiet and good, and everything is back to normal.

"Osamu Dazai, thank you. They are living a good life now, I am satisfied, we can go back..."

Before I finished speaking, Osamu Dazai took off the bandage on his right eye and the wound patch on his left cheek, and put them in his pocket.Then he straightened his appearance, took two steps forward, and rang the doorbell.

?

What is this for!

"It's all here, we must meet after all." Osamu Dazai said softly.

"Ah, please wait a moment!" I heard my mother yelling from the back room, "Come and open the door right away."

Then came the sound of footsteps, coming closer, and then the lock—the door opened.

It's mom.

I looked at her, and she had a low ponytail and a silver barrette on her head, just as I remembered her.I opened my mouth and almost yelled.

She showed a confused expression: "May I ask who you are?"

"Ah, I'm sorry to disturb you." Osamu Dazai put on a bright smile, "I'm a student from Yokohama who came to Hokkaido for an exchange, because I got separated from the team and there was a sudden heavy rain, can I take shelter from the rain temporarily at your place ?”

I looked up at the so-called "heavy rain" in the sky, and then at Osamu Dazai, who was lying and didn't write drafts - he had a pure and innocent face.

The father in the room called out, "Nadeshiko, what's wrong?"

"Husband, there is a student who wants to come in to shelter from the rain."

"Oh, let him come in and sit."

"Please come in." Mom stepped aside, and Osamu Dazai bowed slightly to thank him, then took off his shoes and stepped on the floor.

"Excuse me." Osamu Dazai walked into the room, and I saw my father who was watching a football match. He seemed to be in a good mood.

"Please sit down wherever you want." He greeted Osamu Dazai, and then said to his mother, "Nadeko, bring him a bowl of warm soup."

The home is no different from the old days. On the one hand, I feel at ease, but on the other hand, I have a little doubt—is there even a portrait of me?

Just thinking about it, my father kindly started a conversation with Dazai Osamu, nothing more than where to go to school, what grade and so on.Osamu Dazai answered the school I attended and said he was an exchange student.

Dad showed a surprised expression: "Oh, that's in the same school as my Yuu!"

……

Yo?

Mother came over with warm soup and handed it to Osamu Dazai. At this moment, the door was pushed open, and a person broke into the house.He was wearing a school uniform, carrying a bag of red bean egg tarts in his hand, and there were traces of rain on his body.

"Dad, Mom, I'm going upstairs first." He seemed to be in a hurry, so he hurried upstairs.

"Look at him, he's not sensible, he doesn't say hello to guests." Mom had an apologetic smile on her face, "This is my only son, Suzuki Yuu."

The warm soup in Osamu Dazai's hands froze in mid-air.

……

Oh I got it.

That's right, I get it, I get it all.

There will be no books for me at school.

The owner of the store won't remember me.

The bedrooms at home will not have my name on them either.

In this world, everything is good, but there is no Suzuki Che.