Yizhi

There are many books that Yi Qingwei just moved on the table, stacked up to the height of a person's knee.The lessons of the cram school have entered the stage of comprehensive review. Song Yezhi just asked Yi Qingwei to go to the Hutong yard last night to get some old textbooks from last year, and they are all in front of him today.

Skimming through the review books and counting down, I came across a brand new one, which seemed out of place among the old and fluffy pages——"Their World—A Perspective on the Gay Community in China"

Really new.Song Yezhi only opened it twice in total, and he walked in full of confusion, and walked out in a cloud of mist, without any improvement.

He himself forgot which corner of the room he hid the book in later, and he was bumped into it today—or, to save that huge boulder that only he can see hangs above his head day and night, making him think about it all the time, worrying about it. Give people a good time.

Song Yezhi couldn't analyze the current situation and whether it could be recovered.

However, this is the end of the matter, and there is nothing to care about.

He stood up, pushed down the towering pile of books, picked out the one, and held it in his hand.

The three characters "homosexuality" are bright and colorful, nailed on the writing, it can be covered up, but it can't be peeled off. If you want to peel it off with determination, you have to cut the skin down.The words are gone, but the traces are still there, which will never disappear.

Song Yezhi came to the door of Yi Qingwei's bedroom, and the door was tightly closed.He knocked, no answer.

"There is nothing between me and Zhou Yeshan." Song Yezhi said directly to the door.

"But it's true that I like boys."

There was no movement at the door.

Song Yezhi said it again, the last time, with a loud voice and sonorous words: "The person I like now is a man."

After speaking, he stared at the door again, fearing that it would open in a second, so he quickly turned around and ran back to the room, closed the door and turned off the lights.

He stuck behind the door for relief.

The boulder finally fell to the ground, and Song Yezhi was not smashed to pieces, but relieved of a heavy burden, and survived the catastrophe.

The next day Song Yezhi got up early to avoid meeting Yi Qingwei.He was afraid that he would ask questions, and he was afraid that he would be angry, and even more afraid that he would not say a word.

Who knew someone was earlier than him.

Before dawn, Song Yezhi saw Zhou Yeshan standing dryly downstairs in the cram school from a distance, looking like he was waiting for someone.This couldn't be avoided, so he bit the bullet and walked forward.

"Try with me." Zhou Yeshan said this when Song Yezhi passed by.

Song Yezhi was startled, and looked at him in surprise: "What are you talking about?"

"Try to be with me." Zhou Yeshan put his hands in his pockets, and dared to say, straightforwardly, "Fall in love."

Zhou Yeshan was crazy, Song Yezhi looked at him suspiciously, speechless, ignored him and walked into the corridor on his own.

Zhou Yeshan caught up and persisted: "Try with me."

"impossible."

"why?"

It seems that if you don't understand this matter, you won't let him go.Song Yezhi stopped on the steps and asked, "You know that I have someone I like." He thought for a while, and emphasized, "I like it so much. You can still say such a thing."

"So I said try, try to like me, I'm not bad."

"It's not a question of bad and good."

"It's a matter of time. He met you earlier than me. You give me a chance. It doesn't matter if you like him when you are with me. If you still can't forget it in the end, I will let you go."

"..." Song Yezhi couldn't understand, "Zhou Yeshan, you don't have to do this."

"Song Yezhi, at least I dare to do this. Either stay with me, or tell Yi Qingwei that you like him, and don't whine about hurting the spring and autumn alone behind your back. Do you dare to choose?"

Hearing this, Song Yezhi gave him a straight look.

"I don't have anything now, and I can't give him anything, so why bother him." He blurted out, as if this sentence had been repeated in his mind a thousand times.

Some strong commitment, some real protection, some stability to maintain the relationship.It's a pity that the 17-year-old Song Yezhi doesn't have any of them.

He wanted the right time and place, he wanted to be evenly matched, and when he wanted Yi Qingwei to reject him, he had no excuses other than not loving him.

Song Yezhi continued: "However, I also said that it is a matter of time."

Not now, but there will always be in the future.

In this silent love, the only thing Song Yezhi figured out and the only thing he was firm about was that he wanted to love Yi Qingwei with full wings, dignified and graceful.He wants to be that person's charcoal fire in the snow, or a flower on the brocade, in short, he doesn't want to beg for affection, and he doesn't want to make the person he likes in a dilemma.

The first ray of sunlight came in in the winter morning, and the boy on the stairs was bright and dazzling.

At this time, Zhou Yeshan suddenly understood, as if he had known Song Yezhi again—he had never lost himself, was sober, self-sufficient, and loved appropriately.

"How long do you have to wait?" Zhou Yeshan asked.

"Do I have the final say?" Song Yezhi also asked.

"How long are you willing to wait?"

"Maybe, there are more numbers than I expected."

Zhou Yeshan raised his eyes slightly and looked at him.He could not avoid being attracted by Song Yezhi, and was always fascinated by the shy arrogance and arrogance in his bones.

It's so sad, everyone can't love it.

night.

Boys.

Downstairs on the dance floor, countless hands are embracing countless slender waists, countless crotches are sticking to countless plump buttocks, swinging back and forth, and a group of demons dance wildly.This bar has two faces, and the early morning bell is a dividing point.Yi Qingwei clamped the mouth of the cup with two fingers, and poured another cup into his mouth. His eyes were lowered, looking at the boy playing the keyboard on the stage on the first floor.

He took out the phone with his left hand and made several calls one by one.After waiting for a while, only Shen Lejie came.Before he was seated, Yi Qingwei knocked the empty wine glass on the table and filled it for him.

"No work tomorrow?"

"No." Yi Qingwei was about to speak again, but his chest was filled with the smell of alcohol, he shut up slowly, shook his head, and said, "I changed shifts with my colleagues."

Shen Le sat down, without any intention of drinking, and asked him with folded arms: "Shift change? What can make you change shift?"

Push the wine glass forward an inch.

"drink."

"I just came to see what's going on with you." Shen Leji's face was paralyzed.

"Okay." Yi Qingwei raised his eyebrows, turned his wrist, retracted his long arm, raised his head and did it by himself, "You can go back after reading."

After the three songs were sung, a different band came up, and the keyboard player also changed, with a beard and a fat body.Yi Qingwei looked away, stopped looking, turned around, and met Shen Leji's eyes.

"What are you looking at?" He didn't ask, but expressed his dissatisfaction with Shen Leji's sizing up.

"What happened to you?"

"What's wrong with me."

"Something happened."

"fine."

"You tell me."

"Tsk, annoying." Yi Qingwei stood up holding the armrest, and threw the key into Shen Leju's arms from the air, "You drive, send it to me."

After drinking, his body was very hot, but Yi Qingwei wrapped himself tightly and completely.Hidden in the bloated down jacket, wearily nestled in the back seat, leaning against the car window, drowsy.

"What was our high school like?" he said weakly.

"What's wrong?" Shen Lejie glanced at the rearview mirror of the car, and all he could see was Yi Qingwei's white fingers from clutching his collar desperately.

"I want to go back." He said softly, closing his eyes, already looking forward to it.

"What is it like for a boy to like a boy?" Yi Qingwei asked again.

"What do you mean?"

Yi Qingwei's eyes slowly turned to the driver's seat, and he slowly propped himself up and leaned forward.To be impatient to the extreme is to be peaceful, he said solemnly: "Shen Lejie, can you, don't always use the second question to rebound me after I ask the first question."

"What do you mean by that sentence just now?" Shen Leji was very stubborn.

Yi Qingwei gave up, and softly returned to the original: "Literally. What is the result of a boy falling in love with a boy."

"Who did you ask for?"

Song Yezhi.

It also seems to be myself.

But I can no longer join the queue of high-spirited boys.

"fine."

"The result? You might as well say the end."

Yi Qingwei lay half-lying, tightened his chest and abdomen and laughed: "As for it being so miserable?"

"you……"

Shen Le didn't say any more.

All the way thereafter, their dialogue ended on this "you".Everyone has their own concerns, and they are silent.

"Click-"

The key turns.

"Snapped--"

The lights are on.

The TV screen in the living room is on, only the picture flickers and the sound is muted.The overly long blanket hangs down to the floor, and someone is curled up on the sofa, revealing a fluffy head.

"What are you doing here?"

The blanket was pulled to cover the bridge of the nose, and the eyes were exposed straight, Song Yezhi looked at him silently.

"Wait for you."

Yi Qingwei's head became dizzy at this moment, and the heat reached every nerve and blood vessel.

"I remember I told you to go home yesterday." Yi Qingwei said calmly.

"Said."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Solve the problem."

Yi Qingwei drooped his neck, and stroked his hair from his forehead to the back of his head.Song Yezhi shrank his feet to make room for him, and then he took the opportunity to sit down.

"Uncle, you smell of alcohol."

"I won't tell anyone about you saying you like boys. If that's what you're worried about, the problem is over now."

Yi Qingwei thinks that he is in a state of semi-surrender, although he doesn't know what the enemy is.

"I'm not worried about this. My question is, uncle, what do you think about this and me." He was a little afraid to hear it, but he had to hear it.

Song Yezhi sat up, a few strands of hair were slightly curled up, giving him a messy and playful look.Stared straight at by those watery eyes, Yi Qingwei twisted his fingers, wanting to smoke.

Cigarettes are gadgets that I touched out of curiosity in high school, but I just touched them without addiction.

From childhood to adulthood, there are very few things that can make him addicted.

"You are, still want to ask for some comments from me?" Yi Qingwei couldn't laugh or cry, he almost lost his strength, and the back of his neck fell on the hard sofa back, "That's your business, I have nothing to say."

It wouldn't sound good to say it.

He suddenly turned his head and asked Song Yezhi: "Does he know that you like him—that person."

"do not know."

"How much do you like it?"

"I like it very much." Song Yezhi's voice softened unconsciously, sweet.

"How long do you want to like it?"

"How long is the longest? A lifetime."

lifetime.

"Song Yezhi, you are only 17 years old."

"Yeah." He hung his head, a little frustrated, "but I guess 70-year-old me would like him too."

TV series use a black and white filter, and the light reflected in the eyes is extinguished.Yi Qingwei was stunned, looked away with a wooden face, and stopped looking at him.

"There are several places in Beijing, some parks, some men's toilets, and the police often go to arrest people. When a man has a private meeting with a man, both of them are taken to the police station. Cuffed hands, holding their heads, squatting in a row , beating and scolding."

Yi Qingwei's Adam's apple rolled and rolled, his mouth was full of words and he couldn't speak.

"I know, I'm not afraid." It was Song Yezhi who took over, whispering, "But many of those people have wives and children, and many of them stripped each other's clothes and didn't even know each other's name in the end. I... Uncle, I am different from those people. My love will be true and last for a long time."

The Adam's apple stopped rolling, and was firmly bound by the soreness.

Yi Qingwei recognized it.

Even if Song Yezhi likes another boy, even if Song Yezhi's youth will be occupied by another boy.

He is so beautiful, he deserves to have everything he wants.

As for myself, I was really helpless.

"Then, let's deal with your relationship after the college entrance examination, okay." He could only say.

you.

Song Yezhi chewed these two words secretly.

"Song Yezhi, in the future, please be more obedient."

Yi Qingwei stretched out his hand, hooked Song Yezhi's back neck with his fingers, pressed him to his chest, and rubbed his chin lightly on the top of his head.

At this moment, they depend on each other, there is tenderness, fleeting.

Yi Qingwei folded his arms around him and encircled him.

Tight and complete.

Ask him to give you a hug.

He looks into the void.

The body in his arms is so light, so small, like nothing, can Yi Qingwei hold it.

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The last line of this chapter was typed out, and I was depressed all afternoon.I can't tell who it is for, so far, I have indeed written something that no one can ask for.