Yizhi

On the first sunny day in days, the sun rose high and the temperature warmed up. People and animals came out of their nests to welcome the spring.

At the end of the winter vacation, Song Yezhi took advantage of Yi Qingwei to go to work, and went home with a suitcase alone.

Tao Guosheng was tidying up the cat's litter at the door and taking out the quilts that were placed inside to bask in the sun.Seeing Song Yezhi coming from the alley dragging a suitcase, he held the wooden frame in his hand, straightened up a little, and asked, "Why don't you say something, Uncle Tao and Grandpa are going to pick you up!"

Song Yezhi quickened his pace, trotted closer, and said, "There aren't many things, so you and grandpa won't have to take an extra trip. Uncle Tao, where is my grandpa? It's only been a while."

"Going for a walk. Do you want some dumplings?"

"I just had breakfast, Uncle Tao."

After Song Yezhi moved the box into the living room, he didn't care anymore, he hurriedly changed his clothes and shoes and jumped outside, scrambling to finish the job of cleaning the cat's nest.Tao Guosheng was happy to be at leisure, turned around and saw the suitcase standing at the door, and he had work in his eyes again.

"Ono, do you have any dirty laundry left for washing these days?"

Song Yezhi outside the door didn't hear it. He shook out the quilt and put it on the drying rope in Chaoyang amidst the cat's hair all over the sky.

Tao Guosheng laid the box flat and slid open the zipper.There were not many clothes, but all the books were falling heavily, and when the light side was lifted up, some messy books were scattered in front of his eyes - Tao Guosheng, who was squatting in front of the open suitcase, was dumbfounded.

Song Yezhi squinted his eyes and brushed away the cat hair that was tangled with eyelashes, walked into the living room, saw the book on the bright side, and looked at Tao Guosheng in blank dismay.

It didn't last long.

Tao Guosheng stood up slowly with his palms on his knees, buried his head and coughed lightly, stood still without moving, squatted down again, picked out his clothes, and carried them to the bathroom without turning his head. Take things out and classify them.”

Song Yezhi scratched the back of his neck, and looked at Uncle Tao's back with drooping shoulders.

There are many things, but few types, except for clothes and books.He threw his head on the table, piled up the books and arranged them neatly. The whole process took only 2 minutes.Song Yezhi clutched the hem of his clothes, wiped the sweat off his palms, and moved to find Uncle Tao.

Tao Guosheng was filling the washing machine with water. The two of them sat and stood one at a time, one inside and one outside.

No one spoke.

The space is narrow, the sound of water flowing through the plastic pipe, and the sound of dripping into the barrel is amplified and particularly noticeable.

Until the height of the water slowly rose, Tao Guosheng stood up and put the clothes inside.

"I...uncle Tao has been by your side since you were born, right?" Tao Guosheng said suddenly with his back turned to him.

Song Yezhi didn't speak.

"Ono, is that book yours?"

"Yes, I bought it last year." He was frank.

"Tell Uncle Tao, what's going on?"

Tao Guosheng turned around, both of them lowered their heads.He supported the washing machine and sat down on the low stool, stretched out his hand to grab Song Yezhi's clenched fist unknowingly.

One old and one young, connected together, trembling.

"It's okay, you tell Uncle Tao. If you go to buy books quietly by yourself, you must be afraid that you won't understand, right? Tell me, the two of us...whatever it is, we will figure it out for it .”

"I bought it by chance, I didn't think about it..." Song Yezhi breathed a sigh of relief, "I figured it out now, Uncle Tao. I'm gay, and I like men."

A sledgehammer swung towards Tao Guosheng in a round circle, causing him chest pain and dizziness.

"No... you... who do you like?" Tao Guosheng searched for people in his mind, "Zhou Yeshan, right?"

"No."

"Who is that?"

"A classmate, you don't know him."

"Impossible." Tao Guosheng said firmly, "It is impossible for us not to know the person you like."

Song Yezhi was silent.

Tao Guosheng identified Zhou Yeshan, and he said: "You are still young and in adolescence, and your personality is not fixed, let alone your sexual orientation. The relationship is very complicated. Maybe, maybe you stay together every day. When a young boy is impulsive, he wants to It was fresh for a while, and I mistook my liking. That kid Zhou Yeshan..."

"Yi Qingwei." Sweat dripped from his back, Song Yezhi said, "Uncle Tao, I like Yi Qingwei. It's not impulsive, nor is it novelty."

After all, he is still a teenager, he can't bear being wronged the most, he hides an awkward and stubborn energy, insisting on clarifying the right and wrong.

I love him, not others.

I love him and nothing else.

Tao Guosheng froze with his mouth half open.

Yi Qingwei.

If it's Yi Qingwei, I'm not afraid of anything, Xiaowei won't mess around.

But what if I leave my family, Ono, alone.

Tao Guosheng took out a stack of tissues from his pocket and wiped the sweat on Song Yezhi's palms.

"It's okay, it's okay, don't be afraid."

Tao Guosheng chanted these two sentences, not knowing who he was trying to comfort.

He secretly pondered his words in his mind, thinking about how to say the next thing.

"Xiao Ye, I have been coming to your house for almost 30 years. At that time, little Song Jun was only in his early ten years old."

Tao Guosheng talked about himself for no reason, Song Yezhi raised his head and looked at him.

"That year, there were a lot of things. My father was seriously ill... Ah, you juniors probably don't know that my father was your grandfather's teacher. Many people were killed that year, and my father was so sick that he couldn't get out of bed and ran away. However, at that time, those people were very arrogant, they couldn't listen to what they said, and it was useless to ask for it, and they had to drag the old man out to criticize him for a round before giving up."

"Later, it was your grandfather who stood up and said, I will be the teacher."

Tao Guosheng's father had taught for most of his life and had many students, but only one Song Yingjun emerged from the crowd and said loudly, I will be my teacher.

"So, your grandfather came down from the battlefield intact, but because of the disaster he took for my father back then, his legs and feet were injured at a young age. One of his legs was broken on the spot, and he had to go around while recuperating. Running around, it won’t be cured later.”

"I was twenty...24 years old. I was the only son in my family. My father escaped criticism and couldn't survive for a few months. I went there. I finished my funeral and found Brother Song...in fact, he treated the wounded. I should be here and take good care of him, but my ability is limited, which made him limping. I found him, and I was determined to make up for him. I don’t have any future career, so I just want to stay in your house safely. Take care of you forever."

Tao Guosheng smiled: "But all these years, it's not so much that I compensate him, it's better to say that he and your grandma have always treated me as my own younger brother."

"It stands to reason that 24 years old should be an age that can fully understand myself. But back then, I really thought I fell in love with Brother Song. He is bloody, knowledgeable, and a hero. Besides, it was my father who saved— —”

"But look now, Uncle Tao even has a grandson, and little Tao Xun has started elementary school. It's true to have no complaints and no regrets, and it's true to want to repay him for the rest of his life, but that feeling is not love, it's just too sudden and strange, People can't tell. Looking back, it's just admiration and admiration."

"Xiao Ye, do you understand what I mean when I tell you this? Everything will get better, and everything will be pushed back to the right track by time."

The age is long and the story is heavy, Song Yezhi digested it for a few seconds.

Time controls everything, it can be given to you, but it can also be taken away from you.Tao Guosheng is now able to talk about this incident in a bland manner, because he was consumed by it.

He nodded.

It is nothing more than to say that youthful affection will deceive people, so there is no need to be stubborn and take it seriously.

But, but.

Song Yezhi smiled with difficulty, shrugged his shoulders: "I don't have to get his response."

"You don't have to worry too much, I... really won't cause trouble to anyone." He added.

Tao Guosheng shook his head: "I'm worried, I'm worried about your stubborn temper, you won't turn back until you hit the south wall. He's your uncle... I'm worried that Xiaoye, our family, will suffer if he really likes such a person."

"Uncle Tao..."

There was a crisp sound outside the door, and the porcelain bowl shattered into slag, splashing everywhere.

Song Yingjun just came back from the outside, his hands were weak, and the small objects he had just scoured in the antique market slipped from his fingers and became empty in a blink of an eye.

"Old Tao, what did you say just now?"

Tao Guosheng stood up hastily, and the low stool overturned.

"Brother Song!"

"Which uncle! What do you like! Ah! What the hell are you talking about!"

Song Yingjun blushed, and asked with a thick neck: "Song Yezhi, tell me, come to the living room, and I will listen to you."

It was already dark, and every household in the hutong started to cook, with the sound of oil sizzling and the fragrance scattered.

"Xiao Ye, come and drink some water." Tao Guosheng lowered his voice low enough that Song Yingjun in the living room could still hear him.

"Don't let him drink."

Song Yezhi knelt straight in the middle of the courtyard and shook his head towards Tao Guosheng.

"Kneel for me! Kneel until you understand it. If I hear another stupid sentence, I won't remember it!"

Hearing this, Song Yezhi secretly turned his numb ankle, held his breath, and straightened his neck.

The sound of chopping spoons and cooking stopped for a long time, and was replaced by washing dishes and chopsticks.All movements can be heard clearly in the courtyard.

Tao Guosheng moved the stool and sat at the door.Guard the one inside and watch the one outside.

"Uncle Tao." Song Yezhi said hoarsely, "Go and persuade my grandpa to eat something."

The sun is in the sky, slanting to the west, and the moon is hung.For eight full hours, Song Yingjun and him were at a stalemate.

Song Yingjun came out of the room, leaning on a cane with both hands, and stood at the door of the living room.

"I asked you to think about it, how do you think about it?"

"Think about it."

"Say."

"impossible."

Throwing the crutch in his hand, it hit Song Yezhi on the head.He didn't dodge or dodge, and closed his eyes forcibly.

Tao Guosheng ran to stand in front of Song Yezhi, held his head, and pulled his hair to see the injury: "Say it well, he can listen to it, right, Xiao Ye, you should also talk to grandpa carefully!"

Song Yingjun hunched over and asked him: "Eat, you still want me to eat? You are like this... Song Yezhi, do you know who Yi Qingwei is?"

"Uncle."

"Is he someone you can like!"

Song Yezhi kept his head down.

"I don't believe it. Song Yezhi, let me ask you again..." Song Yingjun said, "...Can you change it?"

The last sentence became weaker, and Song Yezhi's heart felt sore when he heard it.

"Grandpa." Song Yezhi called out mournfully.

After pausing for a moment, he actually smiled bitterly, full of tenderness.

"It can't be changed," he said.

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After watching Mr. Chen Yinke's documentary, Liu Jie, a student during the Cultural Revolution, was criticized for him.At that time, I wanted to write a long article, but there was no output. (When I clicked on it before and noticed that the number of starfish was very variable, I would silently stuff myself with a few and fill the mantissa with 0. Later, I realized that it was a bottomless pit and stopped this behavior. I vaguely remember that I was stuck in 1281 for a long time. I stared at it every day, until a friend added it to 1380, and I sighed: fellow! Thank you! Yes, I remember the number very clearly, because I have been tortured for a long time. Looking at 2000 today, I am refreshed , thank you friends who make up integers! Both bold and...and very thoughtful!