Confessions of S

For many days, it was the most peaceful time for Mu Cha to sleep.

They have slept like that ever since that day.But the conversation of that day seemed never to have happened; and those fleeting feelings evaporated like dew on a leaf in the light of day.

If you think their relationship is "cute", then you are very wrong.It's a total abuser-victim relationship, devoid of any sexual fantasies.

"It's so damn late to come back recently," the man said.

Mu Cha was taken aback, what did you say?

"Come back so late, I'm so hungry! You finally came up with a trick you haven't used before - are you trying to starve me to death? I cao, what, I cao, cao, cao... sulfuric acid Ahhhh!"

"It's not easy for you to know what sulfuric acid is... Tsk, don't move." The young man held the man's shoulder.The wound on the other party's collarbone bubbled white foam under the infiltration of the transparent potion—it was not sulfuric acid, but hydrogen peroxide, and its main function was to sterilize bacteria.

"The exam is coming next week, so I stayed late in the library without knowing it... sorry." Let the disinfectant stay on the skin for a while, and Mucha wiped it off with a clean towel dipped in physiological saline Except: "...I'll come back early today."

"Oh," said the man.

"oh"?Mu Cha felt unhappy—"I didn't fucking tell you to come back sooner, did I?", "Don't come back, you're going to die"—originally, she wanted to hear the other party barking like that with her head held high.

"Let me tell you." He picked up something on the shoe cabinet, lowered his eyes and looked at the man as if there was something hidden.

"Ah?"——At the moment when the man uttered this question word, Mu Cha bent down and stuffed the cloth ball in his hand into the opponent's mouth with lightning speed.

It's been tried and tested.How stupid is this guy?Get scammed by the same tricks every day.

"Then I'll leave when I'm done," Mu Cha said with a smile, narrowing his eyes, "I want to be a good boy today." He picked up the tape and prepared to wrap it around the other party's mouth.

"If you open the door—you'll be hit by a car and die." The man sitting on the ground rolled his eyelids and looked at him resentfully.

ah?Mu Cha smiled even brighter.

Even though this bus was almost missed, Pata, Mu Cha put the tape on the floor next to him and squatted down.He leaned closer to the man's face:

"How dare you say that."

Pooh.He spat out the cloth in his mouth in one gulp—"You'd better be run over by a car, stabbed to death by a money grabber, fall into the sewer and choke to death with poop... I'd like to say, what's the matter?"

No, it's not something that doesn't matter.

"You—didn't notice?"

"This house has three months' rent in advance. If I die," he pointed to his nose, and then turned to point at the other party—"What should you do?"

Really choked.

Hahahahaha.Mu Cha laughed so loudly that she startled herself.

"Hey, Lu Wen," he simply closed the door and stopped studying. "Make a painful expression, hurry up and make me happy."

@#￥%X... The man can't speak, his seal is all black, and his eyes can probably be interpreted as "oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo".

Folding his arms, he sat down on the floor in front of him.Mu Cha looked at him flat, enjoying his expression, "I said you, why don't you use your brain, if you usually pretend to be in pain, for example, pretend to be in level [-] pain when you are in level [-] pain... better acting skills , I'm happy, maybe it won't really hurt you to level five?"

"Let's make an agreement." He dialed the phone, called up the calendar, and put it under the man's eyes: "There are 28 days until Qixi Festival - before that, if you are not dead, I will How about letting you go?"

"If you hadn't died that day - I wouldn't do anything to you, so how about letting you go unconditionally like that?" In order to increase the rigor of the agreement, Mu Cha added a few more words.

The man narrowed his eyes slightly.

This guy, what kind of tricks is he playing...he must be thinking so at the moment.

"What the hell?"

"..."

The man stared at Mu Cha and nodded slowly.

"Okay, let's punch." Turning to the direction behind the man, Mu Cha lightly punched the man's hand that seemed several times stronger than his own.

☆, painless groaning

Recently, Mu Cha has been a little distracted, and the attention he pays to men is also decreasing day by day-this does not mean that he will not be attacked, the so-called decrease refers to the communication between the two: words, sight... even the other party's groans Yin Mucha has seldom been heard recently; in contrast, the frequency of doing things against him is getting higher and higher.

Recently, I don’t know why I don’t want to move props, even if I do, it’s just a blunt weapon like a club.Sometimes after the violence, I left the man where he was and walked away. It took a long time to hear the gasp before I remembered that I forgot to tear off the thing on his mouth... Sometimes it was halfway through, as if suddenly awakened, not knowing what I was doing , put his hands on his forehead, shook his head, stood up like that, and closed the door; when he woke up the next morning, he found that guy lying on the ground as he was, with traces of nosebleeds extending from the side of his face to the floor, all dried up.Thinking of the possibility of killing him for such a meaningless reason, he couldn't help kicking the bottom of the desk twice, feeling even more depressed in his chest.

Please beg me, if you beg, I will stop.he thought so.However, the man became quiet, and his temper did not change at all. No matter how intimidating and tempting Mu Cha was, he just wouldn't open his mouth.Hurry up and beg me, if you don't beg me, why don't you call me, Mu Cha thought this way, and his attack became more and more serious.

The exam is coming soon—he told the man this way, it was true, but he basically didn't read much.

Fourteen days, thirteen days, twelve days before the exam... He didn't read a word.

I have received a lot of rejections recently.

Taking today as the center and 10 days as the radius to draw a circle, as if it was agreed, during these 20 days, the manuscripts were continuously returned.

"The manuscript has been reviewed, but the style does not match, you can submit another."

"Sorry, your manuscript requirements do not match this journal, thank you for your submission."

"The story has no impact, it's just a narration of ordinary daily life, but the writing is smooth. Looking forward to your next submission."

"Too much emphasis on self-expression, too much self-narration, which is not conducive to reading comprehension. I won't talk about the others, you should first improve the above."

Mucha hasn’t written for a while after experiencing the almost stupid unpleasantness with the editor; coupled with busy work and going to school in a different place, this matter has almost been neglected... , Suddenly one day I felt that I could start writing again.

Just before and after bringing that guy here, a big gap in his body seemed to be filled suddenly.Before I knew it, I didn't even smoke the cigarette I had been fascinated for a while... When I found out, my hand was already itchy enough to want to hold the pen again.

Except for his closest friends, Mu Cha never told anyone that he was writing a novel.

It's not the kind of writing that "feels fun and self-satisfaction", not the kind of writing that "make fun of it casually, and take it as a leisurely life". Mu Cha wants to make his debut and publish a book. When others mention him, he hopes to be called " Teacher Lu Mucha".Regarding the first two kinds, I often hear similar sayings on weekdays; in fact, during the two years of working at Mucha, at a year-end reception, a female colleague sitting opposite Mucha said this-"Little girl No talent, just writing for fun."

"Ah Mucha, don't listen to her modesty. She writes very well. She has published several articles in magazines."

"No, no, really no, the writing is childish..."

"Hurry up, Mu Cha, let's hurry up and get her autograph. If it becomes popular in the future, we can sell it for a big price!"

"Oh, I hate it! If you say it again, I will be angry!"

Mu Cha silently listened to the two people in front of them talking about each other, following their rhythm, sometimes smiling, sometimes laughing, sometimes nodding with both smiles and laughter.

Hmph, poorly written.It seemed that just saying that could erase the expectation in my heart.It is not well written, as if just saying this will save you.To be honest, Mu Cha has no right to laugh at that female colleague.He himself was not as good as hers in this matter.

Yes, novels are such low-level, low-level hobbies that are rotten and worthless.It’s not like a musical instrument or a painting. Either there is an upper limit for those who know it, or it can be elegant when necessary, and it can win some applause from the audience at the end; if you have to say it, it may be a bit like singing. Bar--

—Whoever has a throat can sing, and anyone who can read can write.

Do you want to be a singer?Do you think you can make money by writing novels?Alas, alas (laughs) (laughs) (laughs) (laughs).

——Although I only mentioned this to my best friends, I couldn't get any other answers from them.

As a result, writing novels has become a matter of "hiding and hiding".Maintaining a sense of shame about the hobby of "writing", Mu Cha is as cautious as walking on a single-plank bridge-even so, he still cannot avoid being stabbed in the back by others from time to time, and looks at him coldly.

That kind of cold stare is more harmful than pointing and loud ridicule.

It was as if standing on the edge of the tomb and watching the soil fall on the body of the buried alive, and then quietly left without making a sound.

However, Mu Cha was worse than those people.He not only despises himself, but also despises others; knowing the pain of being buried alive, he can't help but bury others alive.

Literary relatives?

Think too much.He just thought he could write better than most of them.

I am a genius.I am an idiot.My style of writing is different and my strokes are varied.My writing style is affectation, nothing but self-high.My mind is full of whimsical ideas, and others can only sigh enviously, and cannot learn from me.My story is naive and boring, I don't know what is called succession and transformation, and the rhythm is terrible.

What do you think?What is the right way to think?

It is gold that shines everywhere.

If it doesn't shine, it's not gold.

Mu Cha really wanted to click "Forward" on those rejected emails, delete the contents of the rejected manuscripts, add the name of another magazine, and resubmit.But can't do it.Things are not as good as before.With the rise and prosperity of online reading sites, the paper magazine market is already dying.The ground where the soles of the shoes stepped on are all ruins, and there is nothing to be found in the dilapidated rubble... Even if there are a few that are still a little angry, they are basically the default magazines that are oriented to the authors. Mucha can find a few It is not easy for a magazine to call for contributions, not to mention finding spare tires and fish that slip through the net.

What if you grab the literary power you have accumulated since childhood, throw it in the air like a dice, put all your eggs in one basket, and throw yourself into the tide of fast-moving literature without hesitation?Spelling tens of thousands of words a day is not difficult for Mu Cha, who is currently studying abroad; There are a lot of them but no one looks bad, right?Keep a calm mind and regard writing as a gamble. With Mu Cha's writing skills, you will definitely win some victories and accumulate some popularity...

Three words: can't do it!

Ah, Mu Cha sighed.The whole person is so soft and brittle, I just want to slump on the sofa, put my neck flat on the top of the sofa cushion, and look up at the ceiling in an awkward posture.

Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, because of the twisted posture, the neck began to be stiff and painful...but because of the stiffness and pain, I didn't want to move anymore, and I sat like a zombie even more.

The man was kneeling on the floor in front of him... Ah, so that guy is in that kind of place.Why are you there?Mu Cha looked away.Can't remember.I guess I made him kneel there?Tsk.What kind of look is that.Why do you keep looking at me like that lately?As if blaming, as if questioning...

No, how could this idiot know what "blaming" and "examining" are - he obviously has an empty brain and doesn't understand anything, he's just a punk!

With a voice that could be heard by the other party, he clicked his tongue, "It's so boring", Mu Cha sighed and stood up.That position won't be very comfortable either...you just keep it like that.

Today is the weekend, there is no need to go out, and Mucha didn't give the man anything to eat, but he just left the man alone, he put on a pair of jogging pants and a hoodie, buttoned the hood on his head, and ran to the opposite side of the apartment The lazy chair in the MUJI store continued to slump.

————————————————————————————————————

That guy made an agreement with him that he would release him within a month, and he agreed somehow.

Why do you agree?have no idea.All he knew was that it wasn't because he had any extravagant hopes for the young man, nor did he give up fighting him.Ahhh, the head is nodding anyway, so why bother?And—that guy's smile at that time was real.

He told him that the exam was coming soon, maybe it wasn't a lie - that guy often mixed the truth with the lie, and he couldn't tell the difference.

But he's definitely not quite right lately.From morning to night, he looks thoughtful and preoccupied. Sometimes his eyes stop on the book, and the focus is far away. He just stares blankly at the words on it, while unconsciously pressing the quilt with his white fingers. The pages of the book turned by the wind, the whole night and the whole day - that is reviewing, who is it?

He clearly saw that the young man was holding the box of seven wolves that he found out of his pocket at the beginning, opening it, closing it, closing it, and opening it.Slowly tap the cigarette out of the box and hold it between two fingers; or just put it between your lips without lighting it and look at the sky.As expected of a social elite, just staring blankly seems to be fucking... There was a conflict in his heart, he was unconscious, but he seemed to have knocked over the bottle of values; forget it - the man turned his head, it's better not to look at it.

What's more, although he is very, very, very, very reluctant to admit this - but recently the opponent's attack has been a little bit ruthless and he can't stand it.

When I was beaten, it hurt so badly, I wish I could cut the person in front of me into many pieces and let ten dogs drag it in their mouths, but the feeling came and went quickly... Soon, the so-called "resentment" became something more abstract up.The man didn't know, compared with the passionate anger, the dead face when the young man hit him made him feel more intolerable.

There is definitely something wrong with that guy.

I wanted to ask several times, what's wrong with you?The other party just didn't meet his gaze, even if they met his eyes once in a while, it was as if he was looking at Xiaoqiang a cockroach, his eyelashes curled up to his sullen eyes and the words "You can't understand anyway"... The man didn't bother to ask he.After all, he has been too busy to take care of himself recently.

It has nothing to do with whether the young man is ruthless or not. Recently, there seems to be something wrong with his body.Is it - fever and cold?not very clear.

In the middle of the night, I sometimes jumped all over my body as if I was stung by something, and woke up from a nightmare.The nostril on one side is very hot, and blood seems to be dripping slowly from there; both hands and feet are cramping, and the cold floor below him seems to be getting further and further away from the ceiling above his head.

Sometimes even in the daytime, there was a strange tremor in the chest, and the next second he opened his eyes suddenly, and his breathing was suddenly blocked.Shaking and tense, a huge pain hit, and I felt that everything from the neck down was pressed to the ground by the weight of gravity.Even a little bit of foam overflowing from the lungs is quickly absorbed by the cloth ball in the mouth. Struggling, panting, stuffed in the mouth, can't do anything, can't do anything, the chandelier on the ceiling, the figure of the young man are all in sight It's getting dark...

When the light and color slowly recovered...the air flowed into the body again from the nostrils, the man breathed greedily, sighed, and was foolishly grateful that he had survived again.

Should I talk to that person?At the very least, it would be nice to be able to remove the tape on the mouth——no, no, no, what kind of weak idea is this, a man can put down the grievance that just showed his head—even if he kowtows 1 heads to that guy, he will Will never stop!

"Hey, did you hear me, I'm talking to you." Recovering weakly, the man found the young man sitting in front of the desk, holding a pen in his hand and looking back at himself... Oh, oh, after so many days, I finally want to hear Did you listen to yourself?He was about to speak, but the other party had already turned his eyes away. "Tsk, what kind of eyes are those?" He muttered, his eyes full of disgust.

I cao!What kind of eyes are you! ——Although I really wanted to spray him in the face like this, but he really didn't have the strength, and fell asleep again at some point.